“I’ll tell you what,” Tom said, seeming interested. “Sign up for some online classes. See if it’s something you really want, and if it is, keep pursuing it. If you get the basic education stuff out of the way and you still want to work in the sector, I’ll hire you at my company.”
Tom was not someone who would just hire someone because they were related. He wouldn’t jeopardize his company that way. If he was willing to hire me, it wasn’t charity.
“Are you sure about that?” I asked.
“A thousand percent,” he said. “I know you, and I know that if there is anyone smarter than me, it’s you. You just need to apply yourself a little bit, and I am sure you can and will.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I don’t know what else to say but thank you.”
“Of course,” Tom said. “I just want my little bro to be happy.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m going to sign up for some classes up here and let you know what I’m taking.”
“Sounds good,” Tom said. “Tell everyone I love them, and I’ll be down next week or so for a day to check in.”
“Will do,” I said, then hung up.
I should be elated. My brother believed in me enough that he was willing to take a risk on me, even if I didn’t go through all the educational hoops most people had to. It was a huge opportunity, and something I should be happy about.
And yet, I wasn’t. Still. There was unfinished business, and I had to take care of it before I could feel better about anything else. But I still didn’t know how to handle it, and that weighed on me more than telling my brothers about going back to school ever did.
22
Becca
There was no way around it. I’d ruined everything.
It had been another whole week. Seven more days, making fourteen total mornings, afternoons and nights of me being a coward. Every single second that I avoided him was another nail being hammered into the coffin of our would-be relationship. And every time I woke up, pulling out my phone and pulling up his contact information, then put it back under my pillow and curled into a ball, was another layer of fear added to the rest. I couldn’t call him. It had been too long.
That’s what I said yesterday.
And the day before.
Whatever relationship could have formed out of the insatiable attraction and incredible comfort we had with each other was thrown in the garbage. Because I couldn’t woman up and make the phone call. Then, every time I thought, no, I could still fix it, I chickened out again.
Fourteen days. Fourteen nails. One relationship in the coffin. Dead on arrival.
In the meantime, I had slept on the couch at Melissa’s, avoiding calls from my brother and my parents. They called reliably once a day, and I hit the Silent button reliably once a day. It was our routine. But something about the day before had me hit the wrong button. By accident or on purpose I wasn’t sure, even still, but I did it anyway. Dad answered, surprised, stumbling over his words. He was shockingly nice. He didn’t apologize, but he came right up to the edge of it, saying empty phrases that meant “I’m sorry” without actually saying it. He invited me to dinner at their house the next night. I accepted.
So, there I was, wearing something other than pajamas for the first time in two weeks, having actually bothered with makeup for the first time in two weeks, and standing on my parents’ porch. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I felt silly doing that. I had a key in my purse and had never knocked on my parents’ door in my life. There was movement just beyond the door, and I could hear my mother’s voice. For a second, I wondered if I could run to the car, get in, and peel away before she opened it.
The door swung open and my mother pulled me in for a hug in one motion. It was like being attacked by an extremely squishy bear that smelled like jasmine and cotton. There was a general greeting as if I hadn’t run out of their house yelling and angry and then hadn’t talked to them in weeks. She guided me into the dining room, and I stopped cold. Sitting on one side of the table, beside my father at the head, was my brother. Nick smiled like nothing was wrong and stood.
I took a step back.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Nick asked, looking hurt. “Wait, you didn’t tell her I was coming?”
Mom looked befuddled, and I immediately put two and two together. Dad sat his drink down on the table and cast a look at Mom like he had thought she might do something like this but wouldn’t dare not tell him. Then she went and did it anyway. So it went with my mother.
“I just wanted to heal this little rift in my family,” she said, her voice rising higher with each word, like she thought the higher her pitch, the truer the words sounded.
“It doesn’t matter,” Nick said, cutting through her words. “She’s right. We need to nip this in the bud, now.”
“Nip what?” I asked. Nick looked over to our father, and they nodded to each other. “What exactly is going on.”
“Nothing, honey,” Mom said. “Let’s just all sit down and have something to eat.”
She guided me to a chair, and I went somewhat begrudgingly. I was not liking the way Nick was talking at all, and the fact that it seemed like whatever he was thinking was something he colluded with Dad on made me nervous. Neither one of them had any room to talk when it came to what I was doing with my life.
We ate in mostly silence, with moments where my mother would randomly try to start conversations by asking me or Nick how our day was, or if we had done anything fun lately. Mostly, we replied in one- or two-word answers. I forced myself through most of my dinner and patted my lips with the napkin, fully intending on leaving, when Nick eyed me from across the table.
“Becca,” he said, “we all really wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Well, I’m here, so go for it,” I said, completely done with the bullshit. If they wanted a fight, they were going to get it.
“It’s just that…” Dad began.
“We heard what happened with Tyler from Nick,” Mom said. “We all agreed that it’s too soon for you to be jumping into another relationship, with anyone. It’s just not a good idea at the moment.” She smiled as if she didn’t just try to stage an intervention with her fully grown adult daughter over her love life.
I put down the napkin and sighed. I wanted to maintain as much control as possible. The last thing I needed was to make this the last day I saw any one of them.
“I have been single now for a few months now, and I am finally happy.” I sat up in a firm way, trying my best to exhibit adult doneness, yet not bitchiness. That would only give them more ammo for a future argument. But if I played it right, I could get them off my backs. At least for now.
There was silence in the room for a moment and then the scraping of forks as the three of them went back to their food. I hesitated but let a small grin cross one side of my face. It was a small victory, but a victory, nonetheless. They dropped the issue, and I decided to stay for a little longer so as to not end the night on a bad note. Eventually, conversation slipped back into play, and while a little forced, it was casual and easier.
When dinner was over, I noticed a troubled look on Nick’s face. It was as if he was wrestling with something but didn’t quite know what to do or say about it. As mad as I was at him, I felt for him, too. He was my brother, and as much as I didn’t want him trying to run my life, I had to realize that to him, he was protecting me.
I said my goodbyes and went to the door when Nick joined me. He already had his jacket on and was saying goodbye to Dad. I waited for him to finish with Mom before I opened the door and we both walked out into the evening. When the door shut behind us, we walked down to the sidewalk a little away from the house in the quiet before I finally decided to break the ice.
“You know,” I said, “I left that night after you did, and I haven’t heard from or seen Tyler since.”
“Good.”
“No, not good,” I said. “Ty
ler was the first person in my life I can remember encouraging me to spread my wings and go after things I wanted. The first person not to be overprotective and try to get me to aim lower, or to assume that whatever it was, it was too dangerous or too hard.”
“That’s not true. We encouraged you all the time,” he said.
“Not like him. Not to do what I wanted, when I wanted,” I said. “For the first time in my life, someone wasn’t giving me advice on how I should do things as if I was some stupid kid. He treated me like a real adult. He respected me. He made me happy. And now—” I made a frustrated grunting sound that was certainly unladylike, but I didn’t care. “Now it’s all gone to shit.”
Nick was quiet as he stared into my eyes, which was no easy feat I was sure, since I was welling with a series of emotions at the moment. Finally, he looked away and made a shrugging motion with both arms. They slapped back down to his thighs as he threw his head back and sighed heavily.
“I’m sorry,” he said as his head lowered again, and he opened his eyes to look at me. I couldn’t believe the words I heard.
“What was that?” I asked.
“I said I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry if I’m the reason for that.”
“Well, yeah, you are the reason,” I said. “We were having a perfectly nice dinner before you barged in and accused him of swooping in on his baby sister.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “Look, the age thing, it’s weird to me. On top of everything else.”
“The age thing?” I said, exasperated. “Really? I get that you would be weirded out because he’s your best friend. I understand that one. But plenty of people marry someone fifteen, twenty years older. Tyler and I are less than ten. And we are adults. It’s not like he’s some twenty-five-year-old hitting on a sixteen-year-old. I’m almost thirty, Nick.”
“I know, I know,” Nick said. “All that makes sense, right? It just feels weird. You were always my baby sister. He’s my age. It just doesn’t work in my head.”
“But if you met a thirty-year-old woman, it would be totally fine,” I said.
He sighed again, looking down at his shoes for a minute before nodding. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“So, you see how this is hypocritical of you, right?”
“Yes.”
“And you can see where I wouldn’t want Mom and Dad babying me anymore like I’m some wounded bird they needed to nurse back to health?”
“Trust me, I understand that part,” he said. The pain that stretched across his face was clear. The memory of his divorce was still raw, I was sure. But what might have been worse was how Mom reacted to it with almost glee. Her baby had come home.
“Okay, then,” I said.
“I am sorry, Becca,” he said. “I feel bad that someone was finally treating you well and I went and messed it up. I hope you can forgive me for that. I have to just stay out of your way and let you make decisions on your own. Like you said, you’re a grown woman. Just remember that I’m here for you. No matter what. And I love you.”
Nick held one arm out, and I didn’t hesitate to take the invitation and hug him. Like always, he kissed the top of my head and patted me on the back in the way I assumed every big brother did.
“Thank you,” I said.
Nick nodded and then paused.
“Do you love him?”
I went stock-still, unable to speak. Emotions and thoughts whirled through my mind. Nick simply nodded again and went to his car, got in, cranked the radio, and left. As much as I wanted to stay mad at him for how things with Tyler were, I could see how guilty he looked. He was carrying that around now and had completely gone the other direction from where he was when I walked into the house. I guessed part of it was being here with Mom and Dad for so long that he started to think like they did. But once he was able to break free of that, he could see where I was coming from.
I was shaken from the question he asked me, and I turned toward the house and caught the quickest glimpse of my mother looking out of the window toward me before disappearing back inside. I shook my head and got in my car. Family similarities are deep. I cranked my radio and peeled off, too.
23
Tyler
The crowds were pouring in and it was becoming one of those big nights. Tips were pretty good for an average day already, though, and the work kept my mind busy. I was trying to look on the bright side of things. I had been trying to do that a lot lately. It kept my mind off everything with Becca, or at least as much as that was possible. If I just kept my head down and focused on serving drinks and turning tables over, I could make money and that the night would go by quickly enough.
It didn’t help that my best friend was essentially gone, too. Not only had I lost what was turning into a really promising relationship, but I no longer had my best friend and confidant, either. I had my brothers, but they were all going through their own things, and they also knew I had one foot out the door as it was. The last thing I wanted was for them to think I was having some midlife crisis on top of it all. That would just be embarrassing.
Briefly, I worried that was what it was all along. I was almost forty, and while that was hardly “old,” it was old enough that I was concerned I would never find that partner that men my age usually already had. Certainly, I was in the minority on that, and it bugged me, but what bugged me more was that I didn’t want to settle. I knew what I wanted in a partner, and more frustratingly, I thought I had found it. Becca was perfect for me in a way I had utterly not expected. Yet, when my mind floated to the fact that I was alone, and that I might be alone for the foreseeable future, I tended to mourn the loss of that potential relationship almost as much, if not as much, as my friendship with Nick.
I was in a funk, and I was trying to put on a brave face. I was starting to suspect my brothers knew it, too. But none of them had said anything yet, so I kept moving forward. Flipping tables. Making drinks. Running food.
The door opened in my periphery as I was turning around to put glasses back on the shelf behind the bar, and I absently welcomed them in. I didn’t even pay attention to the words anymore. It was a generic greeting, and that was all that was needed. Let them know I saw them, and that I would keep an eye out for a new face when they made their way to the bar. But when I turned, the face I found was not one I expected.
Becca was making her way to the bar through the crowd. My heart jumped into my throat, skipped a beat, fluttered, and every other cliché wrapped into one, thumping, pounding moment. I nearly dropped a glass I was holding, and I cursed myself for it. I needed to get it together. She could have been there for any reason at all.
A seat opened up, and she slid into it seamlessly. Whether the guy had only intended on hitting the restroom or was on his way out the door was irrelevant. He was gone, and Becca was sitting there, and that was all that mattered in the entire universe at that moment.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hey,” I responded.
“When is your break?” she asked, picking up a coaster and turning it on its side, flipping it over and over.
“Not for another couple of hours. I’d take it now, but…” I gestured toward the packed and loud bar.
“No, I get it. Take your time. Just let me know when you’re ready.”
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked, partially out of habit.
“Just a soda,” she said. “I don’t want to take up a spot.”
“It’s fine,” I said quickly. “You aren’t bothering anyone.”
“Thanks,” she said, and I poured her a glass of her favorite lemon-lime brand.
She sat in the corner of the bar, sipping through the straw at her soda while I worked, and I thought she was just the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Aside from occasionally glancing at her drink to make sure she wasn’t empty, I kept myself busy getting drinks and occasionally dipping into the kitchen. An hour and a half or so had passed when Mason tapped me on the shoulder and motioned to the back.
<
br /> “Break,” he said, slipping into place where I had been standing and taking a drink order. I glanced over at Becca and made eye contact. I motioned with my head toward the hallway leading to the restrooms and the back door while mouthing, “Break time.” She nodded and slipped off the stool.
I made my way to the hallway and waited for her, and she joined me before walking down the hall to the door. I opened it for her, and she slipped through, and I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander down her body as she walked past me. The smell of her perfume hit me strong, and I felt my stomach tighten. I had to get ahold of myself. She was most likely there to tell me how we could never see each other again, and how it had all been a mistake. I needed to mentally prepare myself for that.
Following her outside, I took a sip of the ice water I’d poured just before the break and had brought with me. Not only was I tired and thirsty, but just being around her made my throat dry up. Never had I been so nervous to talk to a woman in all my life. I took a deep breath as I sat down beside her on the top step, hoping she would talk first. It was a relief when she finally did.
“So, my parents invited me over for dinner the other day,” she said.
“That must have been a blast,” I said.
“Yeah,” she laughed. “Nick was there. Have you spoken to him since he stormed out of your place?”
“No,” I said.
“That’s what he said, too,” she said. “I honestly didn’t know if he was covering his ass for maybe calling and harassing you or something.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No calls. No texts.”
“Yeah,” she said again, and there was a short pause. “They kind of staged an intervention about me dating anyone.”
“Really?”
“They seemed to be under the impression that I was dating you.” She turned to me. Our eyes met, and she smiled. “Nick specifically was adamant that I was rushing into things.”
His Best Friend's Sister: A Secret Baby Romance Page 12
