"Stop!" Drops of sweat streaked over my forehead.
She was screaming at my outburst. With her back against the wall of the bus, she was panting with wide terrified eyes.
"C-Chri-Christopher, are you okay?" She stuttered while trying to even out her breathing.
"Bad dream," was all I could manage to get out. Standing, I left the back room. The bus stopped.
"W-where are you going?" she reached toward me. "Come back to bed with –"
"No thanks." I spit out and headed to the bathroom.
Climbing in the shower, I used the hot water to try to relax. It wasn't working. My mind wouldn't stop racing.
Why did I even think that girl would help? So…I need her. Why?! Why her? What is it that makes her so different, so calming, so…
The door opened and I groaned when Jess entered the shower. Getting out quickly, I left her there by herself, and got dressed.
Stepping off the bus in Memphis I looked around. It was extremely early, but it was already warm. The ground was damp from recent rain. Trying to clear my head, I started walking. Then I saw her.
Mia had on workout clothes and looked like she was stretching out. I kept distance between us so she wouldn't notice me. A guy joined her and their laughter carried across the damp lot.
Who is that? Instinctively I took a step in her direction. The sudden desire to know who he was and what he wanted with her swept through me. They took off running, together, before my approach got their attention.
What the hell was wrong with me? I pulled my cell phone out and called Dr. J.
"Christopher?" he answered groggily. Shit, the time difference.
"I forgot the time. I can call back –"
"No, no, what's up?" He tried to hide his yawn.
"Can we try to do some of this over the phone?" I felt like a pathetic ass, but my mind was racing with anger angry I felt like this.
"Of course. Want to tell me what happened?" I'm not sure how he knew, but he called me on it.
I told him about last night and this morning, Jess and the nightmare, all of it.
"So you tried another girl to replace the one I told you not to sleep next to and you also figured that casual sex would help?" The faint sound amusement was in his voice.
"Sort of," I mumbled.
"I see. Oh Christopher…"
"I can't take not sleeping, especially when I know it's possible. I just have to have…"
"Christopher, you just have to help yourself. What are you going to do when she isn't around? You won't be with her forever, now will you?"
"Huh?"
"The tour is only for a period of time and then she'll most likely be out of your everyday life, then what will you do? You need to help yourself and not depend on someone else…" Doc kept going on about self-help, but I became lost in the one comment, "she will be out of your everyday life".
"Christopher, Hello?"
"I'm here."
He sighed. "Look how about I meet you in Minneapolis and we can talk together then, in person. It's only a few days away, and in the meantime if you need to talk, call me. Any time, you understand?"
"Yeah, sure," Hanging up with the doctor, I went toward the arena we were playing in tonight. As I rounded a corner, something slammed into my chest and I had to catch myself against the wall.
"I am so sor-ry."
Chapter Thirteen
I woke up extremely early, especially for me. Everyone was still asleep so I got up and grabbed some workout clothes, figuring I could go for a walk. Quietly changing in the bathroom, I tried not to wake anyone. Grabbing my iPod, I was out the door. I got over near the parking lot fence and started to stretch out a little. That's when Rob surprised me.
"Holy crap you scared me!" I laughed and smacked his arm.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. No one else is typically up this early." He smiled and rubbed where I smacked him.
I shrugged. "I couldn't sleep any longer I guess. What are you doing up?"
"I try to get out for some exercise when I can. Sitting at a sound and light table all the time isn't exactly a physical challenge." He chuckled and patted his stomach. "Want to run together?"
"I don't know about running." I twisted up my face.
"What if we race?" He eyed me. "Ready. Set. Go!" he took off.
"Hey! That's cheating!" I ran after him.
We raced one way and then raced back to the arena. Yeah, I got my ass handed to me.
"Holy crap you're fast," I gasped for oxygen. He chuckled. Noticing we were on the opposite side of the arena, I would have to walk through the building and cut across to the other side.
After saying goodbye to Rob and thanking him for the company, I headed to the bus. I hoped that everyone was awake and the guys were gone so I could shower. I rounded the corner with my head down until came face to chest with someone.
"I am so sor-ry." Stumbling on the last word, I looked up at Christopher.
One of his hands on the wall and the other was on my shoulder to catch his balance. I'd fisted his shirt to help hold him up. Heat pulsed on my shoulder from his hand. Quickly, I let go of his shirt and took a step back, his hand falling from me. His face looked upset and then his brow furrowed as usual. He looked tired. Chewing on my lip, I waited for his anger, but it never came. So, I broke the uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah, um…sorry," Smiling, I knew it wasn't convincing. I walked around him.
"Accepted," He said quietly after I pass him. Looking back, he was walking in the opposite direction.
When I got to the bus, Jackson and Jimmy were gone, Laney and Kat were dressed, and I grabbed some clothes.
"Where did you disappear to?" Laney raised her eyebrow.
"I went to walk, but ran into Rob and we kind of ran together." Kat looked at me with a sly smirk on her face. "We just ran into each other. I couldn't sleep any longer and your lazy asses were still passed out, so I decided to get out." I shrugged and got into the shower.
Coming out of the bathroom, my eyes landed on Una sitting on the couch with Kat, Laney, and Serena. They all looked up when they heard my footsteps.
"Mia, come here! Look at this!" Laney motioned for me to hurry.
She shoved a paper into my hand and then I realized it was the Top 100 music listing. I read over it. There in bold black print was "#1 Hushed Mentality".
"Oh my god!" I screamed and started to bounce with excitement. "Is this for real?"
"I know, right!" Kat shouted and gave me a high-five.
"This is fantastic." Una wrapped her arms around Kat and Laney who were right next to her.
"It's so amazing!" Serena shouted.
We all screamed together and then I smirked remembering Chris's comments at the start of the tour. Take that, asshole!
We had a quick meeting to go over rehearsals and tour schedule changes, as well as our schedule for today. That's when Una dropped it on me.
"Mia, you and Christopher are going to start rehearsing Broken Inside with the stage director. We want –"
"Whoa, wait, what?"
"We want to get Broken Inside out there to the public. It's a great collaboration and we want to use the tour to publicize it. So –"
"Christopher and I have to perform on stage together, tonight?"
"No, no. Not tonight." She shook her head. "You'll start rehearsing today, but we will probably hold off until the next show to introduce it. That's if the rehearsals go well." She smiled lightly.
"Oh. Okay." I sighed in relief.
"Is everything alright?"
I nodded and smiled halfheartedly.
"This will be a great way to get the song and keep the band name out there."
"I know. So who is the 'we'?" She looked confused. "You said 'we' want."
"Oh, the label of course, as well as Nicholas and it's a fabulous opportunity to be able to do this. It will promote both band records releasing soon after the tour wraps up."
Una was extremely happy about this news. I,
on the other hand, had knots in my stomach. I was going to be even more on edge today.
On our way to breakfast Una grabbed my arm and pulled me over toward her.
"I almost forgot to tell you. Marcus arrived this morning, so he'll be here to work on the performance during rehearsals."
I smiled. "Good, that'll work."
She wrapped an arm around me.
Later, after breakfast, we were ushered to the stage to do some full rehearsals. We had to rehearse earlier in the day since Christopher and I would rehearse 'Broken Inside', and then The Forgotten needed rehearsal time.
We finally got on stage, rehearsing. I loved it. Being on stage made me feel like a different person, actually I did become a different person. I was much more confident on stage singing and performing. We were a very active group, so each performance was typically an energetic one; dancing, jumping, interacting with each other and with the crowd.
Sweat dripped down my back as we performed. The spotlights didn't help. So I had Kat tie my t-shirt into a knot at the hem on my back. This made the shirt ride up a little exposing too much of my back and stomach, but it was much cooler.
After we got through our songs, a studio backup singer met me on stage. Una introduced us. He was a male back up vocalist I needed for an acoustic version of a song tonight.
We discussed the song a little and then went over it together. Laney started on the guitar and I started the song, the backup singer joining in to accompany me in certain parts. It came out better than I thought it would on such a short rehearsal. Excitement had me bouncing and hugging him, who laughed at me. After thanking him, I said goodbye until tonight.
Heading off stage, Una grabbed me.
"Mia, you need to stay here to rehearse with Christopher."
"Can I just go wipe the sweat off first?" Sighing sarcastically, I winked at her.
"Fine, but hurry up okay?" I nodded. "The stage will be reset for The Forgotten very quickly." She shouted after me and I gave her thumbs up in response.
Returning to the stage, I was talking with Una when the stage director ushered me out on stage.
Elliott smiled and then he pumped his fist. I pumped my fist into the air back to him. Jackson and Jimmy both smiled as I headed out to center stage where Christopher was standing.
"Hey," he said quietly.
I nodded, shifting my eyes to the choreographer.
"Okay, you two. I want to start with just the music so we can go through the choreography, then you can put it into full performance."
"Wait…what choreography?" Christopher questioned with a confused expression. Elliott's muffled snicker came from behind us.
"Calm down Christopher, it's just some steps and standing positions I'm not going to have you doing spins and dips." She rolled her eyes and waved off him off.
The guys started playing, the choreographer took us through the steps, and positions on the stage she thought would work best. After finishing, she walked down in front and sat. Kat, Laney, Una, and Serena were already sitting there watching. Laney waved of course. I smiled small to her.
"Okay, remember the steps are not concrete, so improvise. Also, don't be afraid to touch each other for God's sake." My face heated at her comment. "Alright boys, when you are ready." She settled into her front row seat.
Taking a deep breath, I stood at the spot she'd instructed off stage and hidden. Christopher began to sing with the microphone in the stand. Entering from stage left, walking toward him, a spotlight hit me as I joined him in song. He continued singing to the empty arena seats.
Stopping next to him, I began singing my verse. Following my newly instructed steps toward the front of the stag, Christopher removed his mic from the stand and trailed behind me. We turned to face each other during the chorus, slowly backing from each other a few steps before stopping and turning back to the crowd. Well, I turned back to the crowd, but Christopher was still looking at me. Turning back to face him, we began singing again. We walked toward each other and I couldn't tear my eyes from his. There was a fierce look in his eyes and it drew me closer to him.
The final part of the song played. We finished it with his arm around my waist and partially turned into each other. The lights followed us the entire time, until the last note then the light went out. In the darkness, my body felt tingly in every spot we touched. Shaking it off, I started to walk away. His hand tightened on my hip, but I kept moving and he didn't stop me.
I took deep breaths to calm myself. What the hell was that?
* * * * *
Sitting in the back row watching Hushed Mentality on stage, I took in their energetic performance. Mia seemed to transform once she got on stage.
It would be a lie if I said I wasn't nervous about rehearsing together. We hadn't exactly said much to each other and we performed differently.
"Hey man." Elliott took a seat next to me. Someone else silently sat on the other side of me. Jackson.
"Who's that?" I nodded my head in the direction of the guy singing with Mia.
Elliott shrugged.
"That's Marcus" Jackson spoke up. "He's a backup vocalist. He's decent, why?"
"Haven't seen him before, I was just curious." Sitting back with my arms crossed over my chest, Jackson snorted quietly. I ignored him. He didn't need to know that a small part of me was still keeping an eye out for possible boyfriends or even friends with benefits. My body tensed when she hugged this backup singer guy.
"Come on man," Elliott smacked my shoulder. "They'll be setting up for us soon."
We got up and went down to the stage. The crew was taking our equipment onto the stage when we arrived. Once the stage changed over, Mia arrived and stood next to me. This is going to be uncomfortable, obviously. Time to get this over.
The choreographer started telling us what she wanted to do and I almost freaked when she started talking about choreography. Thankfully, she just had some steps and stage positions arranged. When done, we staged ourselves and began the actual rehearsal.
Mia took her position off stage. I started to sing and she walked toward me singing. I continued singing, as she got closer. She stopped next to me and turned toward empty seats before she started again. Then she walked toward the front of the stage. I followed. Everything was going as planned. At least, up until that point.
We turned to each other and began the chorus. When her eyes met mine, I almost melted into the floor. Slowly she back away from me and turned toward the empty seats. I was supposed to mimic the move, but I couldn't stop looking at her. I wanted her eyes to look back at me. When she turned, her eyes filled with a growing intensity.
The urge to touch her was so strong. I couldn't contain myself. The final part of the song brought us closer together and I put my arm around her waist, resting my hand on her hip. The spot light went out and the stage fell into darkness. After brief pause she moved. The air around us was thick and I was lost in her familiar scent. I could swear her breathing picked up against my body. Tightening my grip, she finally moved away from me. The pulse left from touching her was almost as intense as looking into her eyes. The lights came up and I silently begged her retreating form to look at me again.
"I have to say that was great!" The choreographer stood with a large smile. "One more rehearsal should be all we need." Turning back, just as Mia walked offstage, she never looked back.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Walking back toward the mic stand, we continued with rehearsal. From the corner of my eye, I caught a smirk on Jackson's face and glared at him. It was the performance, that's all — caught up in a moment.
"Elliott, when you're ready."
He tapped out the beat. We started our practice and worked out some more ideas for tonight's show.
By the time we'd finished up it was getting close to show time, so we grabbed something to eat. Then it was time to get ready for the night and we were sitting around in the hair, make-up, and wardrobe room.
"So, that song was pre
tty intense." Jackson broke the quiet between us.
"What song?" Elliott asked.
"Christopher and Mia's song," Jimmy snorted.
"It's called Broken Inside," I corrected. My eyes closed and my head lay on the back of the couch. I was so tired.
"Oh yeah, that was kick ass. You two sounded fucking awesome!" Elliott boasted.
"Thanks," I mumbled.
The cushion next to me dipped down.
"So, she's really good isn't she?" It was Jackson, of fucking course.
"Who?" pretending I didn't know whom he was referring.
"Yeah right, like you don't know," Jackson responded quietly.
"Whatever."
"Try all you want Christopher, you're only fooling yourself."
Before I could ask him what the fuck he was going on about, he was up and heading over to the empty chair next to Elliott. Putting my head back down, I was too exhausted to fight with him.
The show went flawlessly and afterwards we were ushered to another press conference during the tour. Mia and the girls were already in there. They were addressing rumors and stories that run in the tabloids and newspapers. Laney did most of the speaking, which didn't surprise me. We took our seats down from the girls and began to address our own tidal wave of curiosities.
Nicholas headed off questions about my incident of course, as well as questions regarding a psychiatrist traveling with us. It was hard to sit there and allow Nicholas to clean up my messes as well as to sit there and have it implied that I am a psychopath. There were questions about the relationship between 'Hush' and 'Forgotten' and rumors of animosity. Next came the question I'd been dreading being asked.
"So Christopher, it seems that Hushed Mentality has taken the number one spot on the charts. Are you as confident as you were at the beginning of the tour that you'll be able to regain that spot and keep it?"
A quick glance toward the girls and I could see the sly smirk playing on Mia's lips.
"Every dog has their day." I kept my eyes on her.
Her eyes narrowed. I smiled a large, warm, fake smile in her direction.
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