Keira leaned against the doorway, her heart hurrying as she felt the anticipation building. She used to watch Tanner compete whenever she could and each time she’d felt this same sense of dread mingled with nervous excitement.
The announcers thanked the sponsors again and talked for a while about the history of the NFR. Keira was about to leave when, behind them, she saw the competitors entering the ring in preparation for the opening ceremonies. There were so many competitors, she thought as she leaned forward trying to see if she could catch Tanner his gray hat pulled low over his face. But the cowboys and cowgirls on horseback behind the announcers were too small to see as they lined up.
“Surprising news tonight coming from the saddle bronc field of competitors,” the announcer was saying. Keira’s heart flipped again. “It’s been a tight race all year but for a while it looked like Cole Butler had first place locked up coming into this competition. Now, Cole, as you know, broke his ankle,” the one announcer said, frowning at the other. “So that put Kyle Redenbauch and Tanner Fortier in tight competition for first place. But this afternoon we got some huge news.”
“Yes, Dick, apparently we’ve had a major upset today in the field,” the other announcer said, looking directly at the camera. “One of the heavily favored contenders, Tanner Fortier, has bowed out of the competition.”
“What?”
“No.”
Monty and Alice called out at the same time.
Keira could only stare at the television, the mouths of the announcers still moving as she tried to absorb what they were saying.
Tanner? Dropped out of the competition?
“We had heard that he was on some type of quest this year in honor of his brother, David, who, as you know, died tragically two years ago,” Dick was saying, “We had hoped to talk to Tanner about it, but he wasn’t available for an interview earlier and then, an hour later we got the official announcement.”
The other announcer shook his head in surprise. “Apparently it had nothing to do with an injury. The only information we got was that he told a fellow competitor he couldn’t finish this. That he had something more important to do.”
“Cryptic comments from a cryptic cowboy,” the other announcer said. “Tanner’s the kind of guy who plays his cards close to his chest. So we might never find out why he ducked out now when this title was his for the taking.” Then the announcer paused, looking back over his shoulder. “And it looks like we’re getting ready for the opening—”
“What is Tanner thinking?” Alice proclaimed. “How could he do this?”
Keira didn’t know what to think.
Then a knock on the door just off the kitchen behind her gave her a start. She walked to the porch, still trying to absorb what had happened.
She opened the door. And her heart stopped.
Tanner stood outside, his hat in his hand, his eyes clinging to hers.
“I couldn’t do it,” was all he said.
* * *
Keira was staring at him, a dish towel slung over her shoulder, her eyes wide, her mouth hanging open, her hair pulled back in an untidy ponytail.
Looking even more beautiful than he had ever imagined. His heart thudded in his chest and the prayers that he had sent up all the way here coalesced into this moment. Please, Lord, let her take me back.
“What are you doing here? What... How...?” she stammered, twisting the dish towel in her hands.
“Can I come in?” He wasn’t sure how to handle her, what to say. He felt as if he had to be so careful with her and yet, she held his eyes, her gaze steady.
“Of course.” She stood aside and he stepped inside the porch, pulling his boots off, shrugging off his coat. The porch was warm compared to the chill of his truck and he shivered a moment as he pulled his hat off.
“Why are you here? We were just watching the opening ceremonies. They said you left.”
“I couldn’t compete,” he said quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on hers, praying, hoping she would hear him out. “After what you told me about David, it didn’t matter anymore. I couldn’t do that to you, so I left.”
He didn’t know if it was his wayward, hungry heart that caught a look of yearning in her expression. But the fact that she hadn’t moved away from him, the fact that her eyes seemed to cling to his gave him the encouragement to move close enough that the scent of her perfume teased his nostrils. His heart plunged and he had to fight his own hunger to pull her into his arms.
“But what about your plan to dedicate this year to David?”
“David had no right to have anything done in his memory.”
Her lips trembled and he saw moisture welling up in her eyes. “You gave up your whole year?”
He just shook his head, her sorrow unmanning him. Again, anger gripped his soul and again he had to push it down. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him.
“The competition, the past year, all meant nothing. If I couldn’t have you with me, then I didn’t want to have anything else.” He drew in a long, slow breath, encouraged by the fact that she hadn’t stepped away from him. That she was still looking at him. “I know you told me to leave, and I tried,” he said, keeping his voice quiet, like he would with a scared filly. “But I can’t stay away from you. I’m hoping, with time, we can get through this. I don’t want to give up on us. I love you.”
“Tanner,” she breathed, her hands lifting toward him. “I don’t want to give up on us, either.”
Her words were like a drink of water to a man dying of thirst. He took a quick step, closing the distance between them. He wrapped one arm around her, and nudged her chin up with his knuckle. Her eyes sparkled with tears and one slowly tracked down her cheek. He thumbed it away. “I want to kiss you,” he said quietly. He wasn’t sure how to deal with her. He felt as if he had to be careful, cautious.
“You don’t need to ask,” she said, rising up to meet him.
Their lips met, and Tanner felt as if all the broken places of his life had finally become whole.
He slowly drew back again. “I love you,” was all he could say. “I’ve always loved you.”
Keira blinked and another tear escaped. “I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you. I missed you so much.”
“Oh, Keira, the years we’ve lost.” He had to fight another surge of anger at his brother and what he had done to both of them. “David... I can’t begin to say... I’m so sorry.”
She stopped him with another kiss. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“And my father and Alice. I’m trying so hard not to be angry with them.” He drew in a sharp breath. “I wish I had known. I wish you had told me.” Then he stopped there, realizing he was putting yet another burden on her shoulders. “I wished I could have helped you.”
She touched his lips, her smile holding a note of melancholy. “I should have trusted that you wanted to take care of me. I was just so ashamed. So scared of what you might think.”
Tanner sighed, cradling his face in hers. “What you should have been scared of is what I would have done to David had I known.”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “I don’t want to talk about David anymore.”
“I know. I just wished I would have paid more attention to you. Listened more.”
“You’re not the only one,” she said. “We should have talked more and fought less. Stopped, each of us, trying to impose our will on the other. I should have been willing to give up being here to be with you. I know I’ve spent enough time being angry. I know that it’s taken up too much of my past. I don’t want it to be part of our future.” She drew away, her finger trailing down his face and resting on a button of his shirt. “I know I’ve always said I would never leave Saddlebank, but I missed you so much.” Then, to his surprise, she added, “And if it means that I have to leave Refuge
Ranch so that we can be together, then so be it. I’d sooner be in Sheridan with you than in Saddlebank alone.”
Tanner could only stare, knowing what those words cost her. He wanted to assure her that wouldn’t be the case, but he knew he couldn’t.
“We’ll see what the future brings,” he said. “I wish I could promise you all the things I want to—”
She stopped him. “I do, too. But I don’t want to be apart again. It hurts too much.”
He kissed her again, wishing, praying, they could find a way through this.
“I want to help you. I want to be here for you,” was all he could say.
“You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
“Who you talking to?” Monty called from the living room, thundering into the moment. “Who came to the door?”
“Here we go,” Tanner breathed.
“I guess we’ll have to face them sooner or later,” Keira said, giving him another kiss.
Then he took her hand and leading the way, walked back through the kitchen to the living room.
The first thing Tanner saw was the back of Alice’s head leaning forward, facing the television. Ellen and Monty sat in their chairs, staring at the screen. He heard the thunder of the music as lights flashed. All part of the opening ceremonies.
“We were just watching...the program...” Keira stopped, clinging to his hand.
“Bring whoever is out there in here,” Monty called out, a touch of asperity in his voice, eyes glued to the television.
Though Tanner had foolishly hoped he might catch Keira on her own, he knew if he came to the house he would have to face everyone all at once.
May as well get it over and done with. Time with Keira would have to wait.
“It’s Tanner,” Keira announced.
Monty looked over, puzzled, then surged to his feet, staring. “Tanner Fortier, what in the world are you doing here?” he boomed.
Alice spun around on the couch, her mouth a perfect O of shock. She looked from the screen back to Tanner, then to the television again as if she hoped, by some trick of technology, he would still show up on the screen and compete.
“I’m sorry, Alice,” he said to his stepmother, needing to get that out of the way. “I couldn’t compete. Not knowing what David did.”
“Tanner,” Keira whispered from behind. “She doesn’t know.”
Tanner spun around. “You didn’t tell her?”
“I couldn’t. Not yet.”
He wanted to ask her more, but then Monty was at his side, hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t go through with it? All your hard work—”
“It’s over,” Tanner said quietly.
“Why aren’t you competing? Why aren’t you there?” Alice’s voice took on a shrill tone as she came around the couch. “After what you said... Why did you quit? Doesn’t David mean anything to you?”
Tanner straightened and held Alice’s glare. “No. He doesn’t.”
“How can you say such a thing?”
To Tanner’s surprise, he thought she would be angrier, but as she looked at him, he caught a glimpse of sorrow. As if, on some level, she knew.
“I think we should discuss this in the study,” Monty said.
“No, this is between me and my son,” Alice said quietly, but Tanner heard the thread of steel in her voice.
“Actually, all of us here are affected,” Tanner said. “Though I don’t know if Ellen needs to be involved.” He was fairly sure, from the way she was looking from Keira to Alice, that she knew what had happened. He just didn’t want her to witness any drama that might ensue.
“I’m fine,” Ellen protested. “I’m not some orchid that needs pampering. Sit down here if you need to talk things out. I know what’s been happening.”
Alice was still looking at him, as if she didn’t know what to make of him.
Tanner wasn’t sure what to think, but with Keira at his side, still holding his hand, he found it didn’t matter anymore what Alice thought.
“Okay, then, let’s sit down.”
Monty led the way and Tanner, still holding Keira’s hand, walked over to the love seat. He glanced at Keira, and squeezed her hand. Whatever happened now, come what may, at least he and Keira were together. They could face this, together.
Chapter Sixteen
Keira clung to his hand as Tanner eased himself down on the love seat. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. Couldn’t believe he had done this. She knew how hard he had worked and how much he had sacrificed to make this final run to the NFR.
But now, instead of being saddled to the back of a snorting bronco, riding for his brother, he was here. He had thrown everything away to be with her.
Tanner squeezed her hand harder, his eyes still on her, then he turned back to the gathering.
“First off, before I say anything more, I want everyone here, Monty and Ellen especially, to know that I love Keira,” he said, his voice ringing with a conviction that created a quieting in her chest. “I don’t want to be apart from her anymore and I’m hoping she feels the same way about me. I know we were engaged before, but this time around I feel like we both know what we want and how to keep it.”
“I know I do,” Keira said, returning his smile and in spite of the audience, kissing him gently, as if to seal her promise.
Tanner turned back to Alice.
“But now, there’s something I need to discuss with you that concerns my and Keira’s future. I haven’t talked to you much about dad’s will. I was afraid to face you. Afraid of finding out how you really felt about me, finding out how my father felt about me, so I avoided it.” He looked back at Keira and gave her another quick hug. “But I learned a lesson in facing fears from a very strong person.”
His words settled into her soul and for the first time in years she felt the shame of what had happened lose its strength.
“At one time I hired a lawyer to contest the will,” Tanner continued, talking to Alice. “But after David’s death, I couldn’t do that to you. So I dropped the suit. However, the ranch belonged to my father. That nothing of it came to me isn’t right.”
Alice held his gaze a moment as if challenging him. “Your father owed me,” she said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
Alice’s eyes ticked from Tanner to Keira as if she was still unhappy with the situation, but Keira simply held her gaze, refusing to back down. Tanner thought she was strong. Well, she could be strong with him beside her.
Alice wound her hands around each other, her eyes fixed on her twisting fingers. “Your father and I got married in California,” she said, her voice quiet as she moved to the past. “We met on a previous trip he made down there to look at some cattle. The reason he came back the second time was because I was pregnant. I told him he had to do something about it, so he married me. He wanted to do right by me, and he wanted someone to take care of you.”
Tanner’s quick intake of breath and the look of surprise on her parents faces told Keira that this was truly all news to them. “Very few people know this,” Alice continued, “but that was why we got married. I know we fought a lot, but before he died, we had come to a kind of peace. And when he died, he willed the ranch to me with the idea that I would share it equally between you and David.”
Keira could only stare at Alice, growing even angrier with the woman. Her decision and subsequent favoring of David had had huge, long-lasting repercussions for her and Tanner. But it wasn’t her place to say anything. Instead, she could only cling to Tanner, offering him the support she could.
“If that’s true, why did you make it so clear that David was the one to get the ranch? Not me?”
“Like I said, I felt like your father owed me,” Alice continued, but she couldn’t look at either Keira or Tanner. “I didn’t wa
nt to live out here, but I had no choice. I hated every moment of it.”
“But you’re still here,” Keira couldn’t help but mention.
“I stayed because of David. I thought if something could come of this for David, then it would be worth it.”
“And where did I fit into your life?” Tanner’s voice held an edge of steely resolve. As if he needed to get this out of the way.
“I came to care for you, too,” she said. Then she looked over at Ellen, as if hoping she would intervene for her. “I wasn’t a bad mother. And as I got to know you and Monty, I started to think maybe I could stay here. You’ve both been such a help to me when Cyrus died and then when David died.”
“Of course,” Ellen said. “That’s what friends do.”
“We care for you as a friend,” Monty was saying. “But I can’t stay quiet about this any longer. I have to say we never understood how you could favor David over Tanner. You know, in your heart, that this isn’t right. Tanner shouldn’t have to earn what his father had entrusted you to give to him. I have been quiet about this and I was wrong to not say anything before. But if you examine your heart, you’ll know that I’m right. You need to give Tanner half of the ranch, as Cyrus would have wanted it.”
Silence followed that proclamation and Keira felt a knock of pride against her ribs. Her father could speak with such quiet authority. How could Alice not pay attention?
“David was my son,” Alice said. “And he wanted so badly to ranch.”
“Tanner was your son, too,” Ellen said quietly. “And Tanner was a good son.”
But then Ellen glanced at Keira as if acknowledging the difference between Tanner and his brother. She gave her a careful smile and in that smile Keira recognized that whatever she decided to say or not say, her mother and father would stand behind her.
Alice released a careful sigh. “So what do you think I should do?” looking back at Keira and Tanner.
“I know I have always been just a stepson to you,” Tanner said. “But I know that in God’s eyes I am valuable and I’m his son as much as any other person. I don’t need to have your blessing but I want to appeal to your sense of honor. If you think I should buy you out, I will find a way to do that. If you want to do it differently, then we can discuss that. But I am not leaving anymore.” He glanced over at Keira, his eyes holding her. “I know that I belong here, with Keira, in the valley, and I’ll find a way to make that happen.”
Love Inspired December 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: Her Holiday FamilySugar Plum SeasonHer Cowboy HeroSmall-Town Fireman Page 57
