by Carina Adams
“You ahh his whole fuckin’ world, L.K. You ahh always so quick to remind everyone you don’t need to be saved. Did you evah stop to consider that you’ah the one that needs to save him?”
Chapter 22
Jo
The atmosphere outside the club was completely different than it had been two days ago. The parking lot was filled with motorcycles, the music loud as it drifted out every time someone opened the door, and there were tough looking men and a few women gathered in small groups scattered here and there.
Most of the men spoke to Rob, some throwing a laughing insult, others just smiling in greeting. They all seemed to stare at me, curious about the woman their leader was bringing in. Not one of the women offered me as much as a smile. It was clear that even though they didn’t know jack shit about me, I wasn’t welcome. As he pulled open the door for me, I wiped my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans. Thankfully Rob had given me a few minutes to throw on pants and a tee-shirt, because I couldn’t imagine coming here in my dress from earlier.
I saw him almost immediately. There were tons of people inside, scattered along the couches, huddled in groups at the high tables, and playing pool. Matty, though, was sitting on a stool at the bar, hunched over his drink, oblivious to the fun that was going on around him. One of the prospects was leaning against the other side of the bar, talking to Dean. It looked like they were trying to include Matty, but he only had eyes for the glass in front of him.
He looked so sad that my nerves vanished immediately and my heart tore a little. “Oh, Matty!” The words came out as a whisper, but I had a feeling Rocker heard them anyway. I took a step forward, ready to hurry over and rescue my beautiful boy, but a hand closed over the top of my arm.
“Wait,” Rob growled in my ear, not giving me a chance to speak. “These boys don’t know you yet. Let’s not give Mateo a reason to start a fuckin’ fight. Yeah?”
I nodded, letting him pull me towards the bar. After the confusion with Tank, Rob wouldn’t get a single argument from me. We were almost to the other side of the room when a short, curvy redhead slid onto the empty stool beside Matty and slid her arm up his back and over his shoulders. It was a comforting gesture that seemed all too familiar, and the butterflies invaded my stomach as I realized that Matty didn’t move away from her. Rocker stopped abruptly, almost making me fall. I glanced up, seeing the scowl, but he didn’t look at me.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, prying at the fingers that were now squeezing my bicep painfully.
He didn’t look down and he didn’t loosen his grip. Instead, I watched as he turned his head as if looking for someone. Then, obviously finding whoever he was searching for, he started moving us sideways. I looked back to the bar. The woman was still there, and Matty had sat up a little and leaned in to talk to her. It was painfully obvious that they knew each other, and I saw, rather than heard, him laughing at something she said.
We stopped as suddenly as we had started. I looked around, trying to see where Rob was headed, but all I saw was the quick jerk of his head towards the bar. Then, Tiny and another man were weaving their way through the people. Within seconds, Tiny had placed himself between Matt and the woman. Whatever he said caused Dean, the woman, and the prospect to look back at us. The woman scowled but uncrossed her legs and pushed herself off the stool, throwing me a nasty look before she walked away. The prospect had enough sense to turn back to the bar. Dean, however, didn’t try to hide his annoyance.
“What the hell, Brothah?” he asked Rob as we approached. I didn’t know if he was talking about bringing me here or about forcing the other woman away. Rocker ignored him, instead tipping his head once more, and suddenly Tiny, the other man, and Rob disappeared, and I was alone with Matt and Dean. I swallowed, not sure what to do.
I slid the woman’s stool out of my way and stepped up next to Matty. He didn’t even turn to look at me. “That’s Rebel’s seat,” he slurred, four sheets to the wind. “She’ll kick your ass when she comes back.”
Groaning to myself, I forced a joke. “Let her try. I’ve been told I can hold my own.”
His head jerked towards me as soon as I started to talk. Bloodshot eyes met mine, squinting to see me through his drunken haze. “Joes?” The disbelief in his voice chilled me to the bone.
“Matty.” I reached up, palming his cheek, enjoying the feel of stubble under my fingers. “Why don’t you come show me your room?”
He swallowed, watching me. Then he turned, breaking our connection, and picked up his glass, downing it in one gulp. “Naw. I’m good. Thanks.” He held the glass in the air towards the prospect.
I felt my eyebrows rise in surprise. Seriously? The prospect immediately refilled the amber liquid. Keeping my voice level, I asked, “How much have you had, babe?”
Matty’s only response was to turn to Dean and laugh like I was the most hilarious thing on the planet. In seconds, the glass was empty and he was holding it in the air again. I reached out, covering it before the temporary bartender could fill it, and glared at the kid. “He’s done.”
The prospect’s eye’s moved between me and Matty and then to Dean. He swallowed, obviously not sure what to do. Matty turned back to me, but this time the glare was full of anger. “What the fuck is your problem? Didn’t have fun on your date so now you’re ruinin’ my night?”
I didn’t move my hand. I’d seen him a lot worse and sure as hell wasn’t going to back down. Trying another angle, I leaned in closer, making my voice soft. “I’m worried about you. You’re a fucking mess right now.”
He scoffed, but set the glass on the bar. “I’m just havin’ a good time.” Then, he turned back to me, voice sarcastic as he spit the word, “Babe.”
I laughed bitterly once. He really thought he had an option here. Fuck being nice. “Were having a good time. Now you’re done.” I saw Dean twirl his finger at the prospect, motioning him to fill up the cup. I wasn’t fast enough, but I snatched it away before he could half-fill it. Glaring at the kid, I tried to sound as threatening as possible. “You give him any more, and I swear to Christ, I will kick your ass.”
I blocked Matty’s attempts to reach the drink as I slid it down the bar, away from him. “Come on, honey. Let’s go sleep it off.”
“Fuck off!” he spat as icy blue eyes filled with indifference turned to me. “Why are you even heah right now?” His voice was filled with emotion. “You left me, Jo. So, no. You don’t get to worry. You don’t get to ask how much I’ve had to drink. And, you sure as hell don’t get to take my glass away. Honey, whiskey is alls I got.”
I leaned in close, pushing my face into his. “I’m not sure if you’re talking about tonight or last summer.” My anger rose with each word. “But, I didn’t fuckin’ leave you, you giant stubborn ass! I’m right here and I’m not leaving until you do. We can go now, or in a few hours, but either way, you’re not drinking another fucking drop tonight.”
“I’m not your fuckin’ constellation price!” he sneered, jutting out his chin and moving his shoulder to push me away.
I swallowed my smile but felt the corners of my mouth quirk. “No, Matty, you aren’t the consolation prize. You’re the real deal—the whole fucking package.”
He held my glare, mistaking my amusement, and I could see the fight he was forming in his mind. If I couldn’t calm him down there would be lots of yelling and broken bottles—and whatever damage Matty could do in response to mine. He wet his lips with his tongue and inspiration struck. Last time, we’d both been married to other people and I hadn’t been able to use sex to persuade him to leave the bar, but I knew it would work. Now, he was mine. He wanted me as much as I did him, and I would use whatever tool I could. My hand slid from his knee up the inside of his thigh, massaging gently. He inhaled sharply and his whole body tensed.
“Come on, Matty.” My voice was as low as I could get it, eyes pleading with his. “I’ve missed you. I need you to take me to your room and show me how much you’ve missed me.”
I bit my lip and closed my eyes, the way he loved. Then I leaned in, nipping at his ear. “God Matty,” I moaned seductively, or at least I hoped it was, and then kissed his ticking jaw. “I need you right now!”
He groaned, a noise so raw and filled with pain that it physically hurt my heart. I could see the struggle, his brilliant mind trying to fight through the Jack Daniels fog. His pupils darted back and forth in crazy rhythm, desperate to figure out if I was sincere. Then, he pushed himself up and stumbled towards the hallway, grabbing my hand and yanking me roughly. I followed him, hurriedly, looking over my shoulder to see if I could find Rob.
Instead, my eyes landed on an obviously irritated Rebel, hand on her hip, hatred clear on her face. I’d been too worried about Matty earlier to pay any attention to her, but I had a feeling I’d see her again soon. Get in line, I thought bitterly, he has a fiancé, too.
Matty’s room looked just like Rocker’s, or at least what I could see of it was the same. Matty hadn’t turned on a light when he pushed through the door, and I didn’t try to look for the switch. I hadn’t realized just how drunk he was until I followed him to the bed and started pulling his boots and socks off after he flopped onto the covers and remained immobile. Somehow I got him stripped down to his boxers and lying under the covers on one side.
“You’re not leavin’ right?” Were the only words he mumbled. I promised him I wasn’t, but he asked over and over, as if he’d forgotten the answer.
I piled his clothes in the chair and stripped off my flip-flops and jeans, crawling in next to him. The warm scent of his cologne and the sound of his even breathing calmed me, and it didn’t take long for my eyes to close and sleep to call. The last thing I remember was him moving next to me, throwing a heavy arm over my middle, and burying his head in my neck. “I love you so fuckin’ much, Joes. So much it hurts.”
Matty
There was a fucking freight train running through my head. No. I take that back. I was stuck on the goddamn gravitron with a freight train running through my head. My world was spinning so fast that I couldn’t begin to figure out where I was, and the locomotive was pounding a loud path from temple to temple, screeching as it bounced back and forth like a ping-pong ball. I forced one leg to move, knowing I needed to find the floor before either would get better.
Instead of hardwood, though, my toes met ice-cold concrete. I ignored the chill, planting my foot flat, and almost immediately the room stopped moving. I opened on eye, cautiously, and then the other. There was no head-splitting pain, which surprised me. Then I realized the chugging engine noise was actually coming from the soft warm body next to me. I smiled. Only one woman made that much noise when she slept.
Last night was a vague memory. I’d been so angry with Joes that I’d come to the club. Dean and I’d drowned our troubles with the Three Wisemen—Johnie Walker, Jack Daniels, and Jim Beam. I hadn’t had a night filled with so much whiskey since—fuck, I couldn’t remember. I’d had fun, or at least I thought I had.
We were in my room at the club. Jo must have come to me. I could remember seeing her, and she looked pissed, but that memory was merged with visions of Rebel, and I couldn’t sort reality from the tricks my mind was playing. Christ, I could only hope that I hadn’t been a douche and that Jo hadn’t been on the receiving end of it.
As if sensing I was awake, she stretched next to me and a hand flattened itself on my chest. She pushed herself up on one elbow and leaned over me, smiling that sexy smile that made every part of me jump to attention. I grinned back. “Good morning, Beautiful.”
She arched one eyebrow and eyes searched my face. “Is it? A good morning, I mean. How are you feeling?” Her hand went to my forehead as if checking my temperature and then drifted down to my cheek.
“Don’t you know by now—waking up next to you always makes everything ok.”
She rolled her eyes and slapped my chest playfully. “Whatever. Want me to go get you a water or coffee?”
I grabbed her hand before she could sit up and pull away. “No. All I need right now is you.” I gave her a tug, pulling her body on top of mine, finding her lips. Screw morning whiskey breath and hangovers. All I wanted right now was to be buried inside her. She kissed me back and lost herself in me, responding with an intensity that I’d never gotten from anyone else. I rolled us over, her back to the bed and me on top, and pushed my upper body off as my knees moved her thighs apart.
“Matty, what the…” she trailed off, voice full of shock, as her fingernail dug into breastbone.
“What?” I stilled, looking down, half-afraid of what I might see.
“When did you get that?” Her eyes were wide with surprise as her hand moved to the Claddagh tattoo over my heart, but it was the trinity knot that she was tracing.
“Last fall.” It was a simple trinity, winding in and around the symbol of love, loyalty, and friendship that mattered so much to me. But, somehow, I knew it wasn’t just the trinity that had stolen her words.
“August 9, 2002.” Fingertips light on my flesh traced the dates as she whispered them. “July 26, 2013.” Her eyes moved up to mine, questioning. She had no idea what they meant, but I knew they seemed familiar and her mind was churning, trying to figure it out.
I grabbed her hand, not taking my eyes off hers, and moved her finger back to the first date permanently etched on my heart. “Not the day I met you, but the day everything changed. That’s the day I told Rob what a pain in the ass you were and how fucking insane you made me. He laughed and told me I was crazy about you. Lookin’ back, that’s the day I fell in love with you.”
Tears filled her eyes. I slid our fingers to the second date. “It took almost eleven years, but this is the day that you told me you loved me back.” A single drop fell from her eyes and my thumb caught it, stroking her cheek. She needed to hear it all.
“When you left, I had to find a way to carry you forever. I needed to remember that it took eleven long miserable years for you to realize you loved me too, and that no matter how long it took, you’d remember again. Until then, I needed to see a piece of you every time I looked in the mirror. These were two of the best days in my life.”
Her face was soft and she was biting her lip, driving me insane, but I needed to finish this. Then, I could nibble on her flesh all I wanted. “And this,” I pulled her fingers to the bottom of the trinity, the dateless band, “this is where I’m going to put our wedding date.”
Her eyes grew huge, and she pulled her fingers away. “What?”
I pulled the ring off my pinky, holding it up to her. “This was my mom’s.” She knew the story, I’d told her years ago, but it didn’t seem right to not tell it again. “It was her dad’s. And his dad’s before that. It goes back for generations.” The ring showed serious wear, but it was still beautiful. Crown, heart, and hands etched into the thin silver band, darkened by age.
“When the eldest son came of age, his father would pull him aside and tell him that when found a woman that he would stay loyal to, one that he would love for eternity, and most importantly, a woman he would be friends with until the end, and, as long as she would return all three, then he was to give her this ring immediately and marry her.”
Jo looked confused, but I continued. “I married Becky because she was pregnant with my kid and it was the right thing to do. I never offered her this ring because I never knew if I would be able to stay loyal to her.” I swallowed, knowing what an ass that made me sound like. I could see the question on her face and needed to answer it before she asked. “Taylor never would have gotten this ring either, because she is none of those things.” A look of anger passed over Jo’s face, and I leaned down, pushing my lips against hers.
I pulled back again, planting a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “This ring has been meant for your finger for the last twelve years, Jo. I will be loyal to you until the day I die, I will love you longer than eternity, and you will be my best friend until the end of time. You don’t have to take it now, but I
’m gonna ask anyway. Just know, even if you say no, I’ll hold onto it until you’re ready.”
I could feel her heartbeat pounding wildly beneath me, but she didn’t move a muscle. “Joes, my beautiful, hilarious, stubborn Joes… You have always been mine. Let's make it legal. Marry me?”
She was going to say no. I could see it in the scowl that wrinkled her forehead and the unvoiced concern in her eyes. I fought down the disappointment, even though I’d known it was a possibility. I’d hoped that she wouldn’t fight the inevitable because we were always going to end up here one day. She took a deep breath, ready to launch into whatever lecture she was going to give, and I had to force myself not to lean over and kiss her senseless.
Instead, I cut her off. “I know you’re worried that we won’t be able to fix us. But, we can. You have tons of questions, and I promise I’ll answer every single one. You’re scared about the club, my life, and worried there isn’t a place for you here. Joes, you need to know that you are my life. I’m a dick with a bad attitude, and I’m gonna do stupid shit. But I will never be stupid enough to let you go again. I told you, I’ll be here when you’re ready. Take as long as you need.”
Tears filled her eyes and the tension left her face. “I love you, more than I ever thought it would be possible to love someone.” Her voice was a whisper. I inhaled. Here we go. “I want nothing more than to be yours forever.” I held my breath as she bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were filled with nothing but love. “Of course I’ll marry you!”
I stared down at her, almost afraid to breathe again because I was sure she was going to change her mind. But, she only stared back. Holy shit. I couldn’t breathe. I don’t know how, but I found her ring finger and slid the circle on, almost surprised that it fit. It was a little loose, but we’d figure it out. Right now, there was only one thing I wanted to do.
