by Carina Adams
He wanted to marry me. Matthew Murphy, the Greek-God that hundreds of women lusted after, loved me. Matty, my annoying, but hilarious, best friend in the entire world, said that he would want me forever. Mateo, the bad ass Bastard, asked me to marry him. And I’d said yes.
I smiled as I turned and cuddled his pillow, smelling him. I couldn’t remember a time when I was this content. I drifted off to sleep, happier than I’d been in a long time.
*****
Strong arms lifted me back into a wall of muscle and a deep sexy growl against my ear pulled me away from dreamland. I managed a small sigh and a smile as I reached over my head and tangled my fingers in his hair. The move pulled my breast off the bed, earning me another growl as Matty cupped me. I wiggled my ass against him in response.
He sighed, leaning into my neck and biting me gently. His fingers found mine, twining between them and tugging them away from his head. He moved them to the headboard, guiding me to close my fists around the wooden slats. Teeth and tongue burned a trail over my shoulder and down my back. Fingers slid down my sides, up and over the outside of my breasts, skimming my ribs, and onto my hips before curling into my flesh and holding on tight.
Each breath I let go was ragged. I was so incredibly turned on that I was sure I’d die of combustion if he didn’t offer me some relief soon. He shifted his body over mine slightly, using a knee to part my legs as his tongue left wet loops around my spinal cord. Releasing the grip on my flesh, his hands suddenly stretched across my lower back, and his tongue traced the words on my flesh.
“You are. You know that right?”
Lifting my head off the pillow, I turned my head to see him, but his ‘tsks’ at my movement made me immediately drop back down. “I am what?” I asked, completely breathless.
“Enough the way you are,” he repeated the words of my tattoo, his voice husky. “You are more the enough.” His left hand moved to mine, enclosing it in his giant palm and forcing me to keep it around the wood at the top of the bed. His right moved back to my hip and pulled me back on my knees. It felt like I was doing a yoga pose, and I started to struggle.
He moved in behind me quickly before I could escape, hard on soft, and just as I was about to object, he entered me slowly. My gasp was throaty and full of relief at having him so close again, and I giggled as the same sound came from his mouth.
“You are everything!” Pulling out excruciatingly slow, he leaned over and kissed the words before pushing back in without hurrying. I bit my lip as I felt every inch of him ease inside me.
“Tell me!” he demanded. “Tell me how much you’re worth to me.”
“Matty!” All I could manage was a frustrated grunt. “God, Matty, please?” I wasn’t above begging at this point. I just needed to feel more of him, and I needed to feel it faster.
He chuckled, slowing down his pumps, if that was even possible. “Tell me. I know how much you’re worth to me. I know what you think of yourself. I want to hear you tell me how much you think you’re worth to me.”
My mind processed the words for a minute, because nothing made sense. I tightened my grip on the posts since it was the one thing I could control, and realized what he wanted. “I’m worth everything to you.” He shoved in faster, harder, but still not at his usual pace. The contrast was delicious, and I cried out, “Everything!” before I could stop myself.
“That’s right!” Matty growled back before nipping my neck. “You are enough the way you are!” His hand grabbed a handful of flesh before backing out and slamming in at a mind-numbing pace. “You. Are. My. Everything!” He accentuated each word with a deep, hard thrust.
He was so honest and raw in that moment that it almost distracted me. Almost. Then, all thought was gone as he picked up the tempo, in and out, fucking me stupid. The hand on my hip shimmied back up my skin, grabbing my boob just rough enough. His thumb and finger pinched, pulled, and rolled my hardened nipple, and I couldn’t hold on anymore.
My muscles tightened around him, trying to coax out his release so we could have it together. His low grumble of appreciation pushed me over the edge again and I gasped for air, every nerve on alert. His fingers moved quickly, finding a home at the apex of my thighs. Expertly, they move to my clit, flicking and massaging. I’d stayed relatively quiet, the fact that it was the middle of the day and there were people around always in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t hold back a second longer. I cried out, loudly, as his fingers pulled another orgasm from me.
Matty laughed happily, as if he was beyond pleased with himself, and never missed a beat as he slammed into me over and over at alarmingly fast speeds. Biting my shoulder roughly, I heard his own moans of ecstasy. Even though they were muted some by my skin, they were hot and mixed with his still steady pounding, I came again, making even more noise.
“Fuckin’ Christ, baby girl! Those sounds undo me, every single time.” I groaned as he pulled out, realizing how sore I was, and then let go of the headboard and turned over. I needed to touch him. Dropping onto his back, head next to mine on the pillow, he seemed happy to let my fingers roam. Within minutes though, once his lungs had a chance to catch up, Matty turned onto his side, propped up on an elbow, captured my hand in his, and looked down at me.
Normally I’d want to hide, knowing that the cellulite on my thighs and the stretch marks on my belly were giant turnoffs. But the look in his eyes held only love, and I watched in wonder as his fingers trailed down over my body, around my belly button, and then over the roundness of my lower tummy. Keeping his hand there, cupping my Buddha belly, he leaned over and gave me a kiss that could melt the polar ice caps.
“Do you have any idea how much you glow when you’re pregnant?”
Romantic mood gone, I sat up on my elbows and watched him cautiously. “Matty?” Wow. I wasn’t sure what to say. Did marriage suddenly come with more children? Because I was very sure that we’d agreed we were both too old to start over, and he’d gotten a vasectomy for Taylor.
His eyes flicked to mine for just a second before they looked back to my stomach, as if mesmerized. “Just because we can’t have babies doesn’t mean I don’t wish we could.” His fingers traced one of my faded lines, souvenirs of being a mom. “Did you know that you are to blame for Sam?” My forehead wrinkled, and I wondered if he’d been drinking while he’d been out in the great room. He didn’t notice, too busy following my marks as if they were going to lead him to the largest gold mine ever found.
“I wasn’t sure I even wanted to have kids. But watching you carry Ben, seeing how your belly grew a little bit every week and how much you radiated happiness—that did something to me. When you pulled my hand here,” he pressed two fingers into my lower abdomen, “and made me feel him kick, I was a goner.” He smiled at me. “From that moment on, I wanted nothing more than to be a dad.”
Fingers moved again, tickling as he danced them to the other side. “Then, with Lily, I watched you glow all over again, expanding a little more and more every day as you housed a life. At that point, I didn’t want to just be a dad—I wanted to be her dad.” My heart paused, his words having more of an effect than they should. “I would give anything to watch you grow a miracle that we created together.”
“Matty.” My voice was soft, and I was almost afraid to admit the next part. “I don’t want any more kids.”
He looked up and smiled wishfully. “I don’t either, Joes. I wish we’d figured us out ten years ago. We could have had a baseball team by now.” He let his hand slip off me and gave me a quick peck before pushing himself off the bed. “Come take a shower with me. We have somewhere to be.”
And then he was striding away. I watched his naked back, full of ink, head into the bathroom. What in the hell had that been about?
Chapter 26
Jo
“Go on in, babe. I’m right here.” Matty held the ropes apart so I could climb up into the ring with Nick. I felt like an idiot in all the protective gear I had on, and I was still reeling about
the fact that I was even here. When Matty had told me we had somewhere to be, the gym was the last place I had imagined. After Rob’s reaction to Cris bringing me here, I never expected Matt to agree to it, let alone arrange a private session.
Here I was, though. Nick smiled that killer smile of his and went over what we were doing once more. Self-defense was more about avoiding a hit than it was anything else.
“Don’t stand still,” Nick instructed. “A moving target is harder to hit. Someone comes after you, you’re gonna wanna freeze or back into the wall. First gut reaction. But don’t do it. Move.”
He also showed me the pressure points to target—eyes, nose, throat, knees and groin. If I’m backed into a wall, he said, I was to use my knees, elbows, fingers, and feet, and aim at those pressure points. The goal was not to kill, but to get the attacker down long enough for me to get away. He had me practice by cornering me and having me try to get by him.
Next, he taught me how to take a punch. Unfortunately, instructions can only go so far. After he’d walked my body through each maneuver, and reminded me to constantly keep my eyes on my attacker so I could react appropriately to where the hit would land, he asked me if I was going to be ok with him hitting me. Was I? I hesitated for a minute too long. He looked relieved and suggested we leave this part of the lesson for another time. I shook my head—I wanted it now.
The stomach hit drove me back into the ropes and earned me a nasty remark from him about paying attention, keeping my eyes on him, and tightening my stomach muscles. I not only didn’t tense up, I didn’t roll with the punch or keep my balance. Epic fail.
The next few blows weren’t much better. My cheek had started to bleed and my lip felt puffy. My side ached when I took a deep breath, and my eyes watered from the pain I felt all over the rest of me. But, I refused to give up. Each time Nick knocked me to my knees, I got back on my feet and faced him for more. He was taking it easy on me. An attacker would not.
For the first part of the session, Matty stood patiently next to the ring. Every so often he’d holler words of encouragement to me or shout something to Nick, asking him to remember to show me another technique. Now, though, he seemed to be struggling. He hadn’t said anything in a long time, other than asking if I was ok after the first hit to my gut.
At one point, after I didn’t avoid an elbow to my cheek and I’d fallen flat on my ass, I’d glanced his way. He had his back to the ring and was leaning over, hands on his knees, as if trying to catch his breath. The next time I snuck a peek was after I forgot to keep my chin down and I’d gotten jabbed so hard it made my teeth snap on my tongue. The enraged look on his face terrified me, and I turned away quickly.
I don’t know how long Nick beat the shit out of me, but if felt like it lasted years. I wasn’t even sure I was getting any better or if poor Nick was just taking it even easier on me than he had when we started. Every part of my body was begging my mind for a break when Cris started yelling to me.
“Jesus, Jo, move! Just because he’s showing you how to get your ass handed to you doesn’t mean you should make it easy on him!” I didn’t have time to acknowledge her, but relief washed over me. I knew this was all just pretend and that I could tell Nick to stop at any time, but knowing I wasn’t alone was a good feeling. “Watch him! Keep your eyes glued to his every movement!” she screamed.
As Nick advanced, she walked me through what to do. Slide right. Duck. When he closed in on me again, she told me to watch his hands, move and react. I jerked my head to the left, throwing all my weight onto that foot, and aimed my heel for his knee. Nick stumbled back, surprised, while Cris shouted excitedly on the floor behind us.
“That’s it! Fight back!”
Nick smiled and shrugged. “I think that’s a good way to end our first class, don’t you?”
I nodded, groaning when even that hurt, and climbed out of the ring. I looked everywhere, but my fiancé seemed to be missing. “Where’s Matty?”
Cris grinned. “I sent him outside. Wicked sore?”
I didn’t even bother to nod, just closed my eyes. “I think my bruises have bruises.” She gave me an understanding look and pulled me towards the back.
I was too tired to object when she removed all my gear for me and then stripped off my tank top and shorts. There was no doubt in my mind that I’d never be able to get my arms to cooperate enough to get the shirt over my head. Then, she stepped into a cool shower with me and helped me wash the blood and sweat away. The temperature was frigid, and I wanted to ease my aches and pains with heat, but she insisted cold was better.
As soon as I was clean, she snapped off the water and led me to a table. “I need to rub you down. It’ll help, you’ll see. Plus, I need to make sure nothin’s broken.”
Expert fingers trailed over my body, rubbing gently at the spots where I was still tense and inspecting each and every bruise. Not only was I exhausted from the workout, but her hands were soothing, and I had to fight to stay awake.
“Why’d you send Matty outside?”
Cris snorted. “Really?” I waited for her to continue. “My brothah is many things, Jo, but a bystandah is not one of ‘em. He has the white knight complex. If someone is in trouble, he has a psychological need to save ‘em.” She laughed.
“He still has a hard time comin’ to my fights, and I could kick his ass in the ring. I think watching the woman he loves gettin’ beat to a bloody pulp was a little more than he bargained for. I was half-convinced that he was gonna jump in there and rip Neo to shreds.”
I groaned, rolling my eyes. “This was his idea, not mine.”
“Right. So, he was not only watchin’ you take a beatin’ and not able to help, but it was him that put you there to begin with. He needed a time out. I’m glad Neo called me before you guys got here.”
That made sense. I’d have to make sure Matty knew how much I appreciated his self-restraint. “Oh! How was your weekend away?” Closing my eyes again, I let her hands do their magic as she gave me all the amazing details.
She sounded like a girl falling in love—a very happy and spoiled girl that was realizing the man she was dating could actually be something more than an occasional date. It was so different than her normal view on relationships that I knew something must have changed over the last few days. I didn’t tell her I’d gone to the dinner in her place, or that I knew why she started dating Caleb, and I didn’t mention Rob. Cris deserved to be happy, and I didn’t want to be the one that took it away from her.
My injuries weren’t that bad. I was sore, yeah, but my ribs weren’t broken. My lip was a little swollen, but I could easily cover it with dark lipstick. My cheek was the worst. The crack in my skin was bright red and stood out on my pale skin, even though it looked worse than it felt. Cover up was an option, but it was too sore to touch, so I bought big sunglasses that covered it instead.
Matty refused to go anywhere with me. Well, he insisted on going everywhere with me, but wouldn’t hold my hand or cuddle me in public. He said my face looked like I was a battered woman, and that people would assume he’d beaten me. I rolled my eyes and asked what kind of idiot would automatically come to that conclusion, considering I could have had an accident of some sort. The look he gave me made it clear that he was that kind of an idiot. So, whenever we left the apartment, he was more like an annoying shadow that would shake his head when I tried to talk to him. If secret service agents were like that, I felt bad for the president and his family.
It was actually nice having Matty around all the time. When he’d told me he’d taken a leave of absence from work, I’d panicked. I didn’t want to be the reason he lost a job he loved, and I was worried about being with him twenty-four seven. The last time we’d lived together hadn’t exactly ended well. Not to mention the fact that we’d gone from barely talking on the phone to engaged and living together in a little over a week. Really? Who does something that rash?
Matty and me.
We spent every second we could toget
her. I had class and then my one-on-ones with Nick. Matty had to drive back to Maine to meet with his boss and go to Sammy’s games, and then he had a ton of meetings at the clubhouse. But other than that, we were together. Sometimes he’d just sit and hold me while I studied, and sometimes we’d sit on the roof, enjoying the sun while catching up and laughing like we used to. And then other times he’d pull me out to the bike and we’d ride for hours. If possible, I’d fallen in love with him a little more every day.
The need for answers was always in the back of my mind. Every time I thought about suggesting we sit down and have a serious conversation, though, something important came up or Matty would smile and I’d talk myself out of it. What would a few days really hurt? I wanted to think that we were strong enough to handle anything, but an engagement ring on another woman was a big thing to forget to tell your current fiancé, and maybe we needed the extra time to fortify our relationship. Pushing the nerves away, I focused on our happiness.
The days merged into a blur as time flew. We were cuddling on the roof, Matty lying with his head on my lap, feet dangling over the edge of the couch, enjoying the late afternoon sun on Thursday, when reality hit. As much as I was looking forward to seeing my kids, and I missed them more than words could explain, I didn’t want to leave Matty. I brushed the hair off his forehead and pressed my lips against his skin.
“I’m gonna miss you.”
He opened his eyes, looking up at me sleepily. “When?”
“Tomorrow’s Friday. I’m headed home.”
“Shit!” He sat up abruptly and turned, looking at me. “I forgot.” He swallowed and started chewing the inside of his lip. “It’s vacation week.” I nodded, confused. A shit-eating grin transformed his face, and he turned and laid back down.
“Matty?” I’d missed something.
