L8r, G8r

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L8r, G8r Page 11

by Lauren Myracle


  Fri, Feb 24, 11:07 AM E.S.T.

  zoegirl:

  ok, angela, i know yr phone’s off, cuz when i called it went straight to voicemail. but i just had a run-in with the j-word, and you need to know about it.

  zoegirl:

  i was sitting at my locker trying to organize my binder. i wasn’t even THINKING about jana, when suddenly she comes barreling over to me and says, “you can tell angela i know it was her. tell her i’m gonna kick her a**!”

  zoegirl:

  i was like, who talks like that? are you for real?

  zoegirl:

  i don’t want to demonize her, because i know she’s a real live human being with wants and needs and all that. blah blah blah.

  zoegirl:

  but face it. she *is* stunted and immature and oozing with bad energy. she just IS.

  zoegirl:

  and i hope she grows out of it, and maybe one day at our 20th reunion we’ll, you know, all share a chuckle … although that seems extremely unlikely, if not downright impossible.

  zoegirl:

  AAARGH, i’m getting all worked up, when the only reason i’m texting is to warn you of her wrath. so watch out, that’s all i’m saying!

  Fri, Feb 24, 4:14 PM E.S.T.

  SnowAngel:

  ASS, zoe. yr allowed to say it! ass ass ass! ass-poopy!

  zoegirl:

  did you just say … ass-poopy?!

  SnowAngel:

  and GOD, why do you have to be so nice all the time? we will NOT be sharing a chuckle with jana at our 20th reunion. we will not be sharing a chuckle with jana at our 100th reunion! i suppose it’s to your credit that yr trying to be all fair-minded or whatever (gag), but honestly? it’s just annoying.

  zoegirl:

  angela, jana was showing serious psychotic break material by threatening you like that.

  zoegirl:

  has she said anything to you in person?

  SnowAngel:

  of course not, cuz i put her in her place and she knows it. *squishes jana with thumb and grinds into icky mess*

  SnowAngel:

  SHE is the ass-poopy. i learned that term on “Bones,” btw. have you ever watched that show?

  SnowAngel:

  or, hrmm. maybe it was ass-booby …?

  zoegirl:

  she’s not gonna let this go, you know.

  SnowAngel:

  oh, whatever. blah blah blah.

  SnowAngel:

  let’s go out tonite and put it all behind us. wanna?

  zoegirl:

  i can’t, i’ve got plans with doug

  SnowAngel:

  BOR-RRRRING

  SnowAngel:

  i’m gonna call maddie and see if SHE wants to go out, since yr now being a you-know-what. (here’s a hint: it rhymes with gas-woobie)

  Sun, Feb 26, 7:01 PM E.S.T.

  SnowAngel:

  hey, sweet tater. have you figured out what yr going as for alter-ego day tomorrow?

  mad maddie:

  “alter-ego day,” good god.

  SnowAngel:

  don’t take that tone with me. you love the special senior days as much as anyone!

  mad maddie:

  do i? i mean, seriously. who comes up with this shit?

  SnowAngel:

  *pouts in a steely-eyed sort of way*

  mad maddie:

  oh, wait! it’s YOU! YOU come up with this shit!

  SnowAngel:

  ha ha, yr soooo hilarious

  SnowAngel:

  so what r you gonna go as?

  mad maddie:

  let’s c. i’m normally the coolest chick on the planet, so for my alter-ego i guess i’ll go as … the president of the senior planning committee!

  mad maddie:

  jk again. whew, i crack myself up.

  SnowAngel:

  i think i’ll go as a big ol’ slob, since normally i’m so stylish and hip. which means I’LL go as YOU!

  mad maddie:

  could ya try being the tiniest bit original? could ya?

  SnowAngel:

  i told zoe to go as a stoner, since in real life she’s Miss Straight-A Super Student. but she’s afraid the administration would disapprove, so she’s going as a biker babe.

  mad maddie:

  A BIKER BABE???? ZOE????

  mad maddie:

  what is she gonna wear?

  SnowAngel:

  i dunno, we didn’t get that far.

  SnowAngel:

  what do you think jana’ll go as?

  mad maddie:

  hmm, what is the opposite of evil incarnate …?

  SnowAngel:

  ZOE!!!! *rolls about in glee*

  mad maddie:

  lol. good one, a.

  SnowAngel:

  ah, me. *pats self on back with extendable hand*

  SnowAngel:

  i’m gonna go figure out my outfit for tomorrow. see ya in the morning?

  mad maddie:

  yeah, only tomorrow’s my day to sleep in, so don’t look for me before 2nd period. byeas!

  Mon, Feb 27, 9:02 AM E.S.T.

  SnowAngel:

  ello, biker babe! yr looking verrry hot!

  zoegirl:

  ello, rain cloud angela! you’re looking very … gloomy!

  SnowAngel:

  seen mads?

  zoegirl:

  not yet. saw jana in her geek-wear, though. so tacky.

  SnowAngel:

  can you say, ego?

  zoegirl:

  ego!

  Mon, Feb 27, 5:13 PM E.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  hey there, sunshine. r you back in your traditional pink?

  SnowAngel:

  u kidding? i’ve decided black is a good look for me. i will soon start using one of those ultra-long cigarette holders and slink about discussing art.

  mad maddie:

  only u don’t know anything about art

  SnowAngel:

  fashion, then. i’ll suck in my cheeks and be heroin-chic. except heroin-chic is so yesteryear.

  SnowAngel:

  didn’t you think it was thoroughly egotistical of jana to show up dressed like a nerd?

  mad maddie:

  it would be the same as if zoe had come as, like, a drooling idiot, cuz basically she’d be saying, “look how smart i think i am, if this is what i consider to be my opposite.” but zoe would never do that.

  SnowAngel:

  i liked your preppy attire. the pink-and-green belt was an excellent touch.

  mad maddie:

  ms. hathoway said, “well, madigan, you certainly clean up nice.” i said, “enjoy it while you can, cuz i am never tucking my shirt into my pants again.”

  SnowAngel:

  hee hee

  SnowAngel:

  and andre in his football uniform thingie, i loved that

  mad maddie:

  and the captain of the football team in a tutu

  SnowAngel:

  he shouldn’t have worn tights, tho

  mad maddie:

  especially w/o underwear

  SnowAngel:

  i’m bored, and aunt sadie’s going out with friends. logan said he’d bring me pizza, but i turned him down. if he and i could just hang out and have fun, i’d be all over it. but he always wants to fool around.

  mad maddie:

  the nerve

  SnowAngel:

  so can i come over?

  mad maddie:

  yeah baby!

  Tues, Feb 28, 4:34 PM E.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  oh man, you should see my room. i can’t stop laughing.

  zoegirl:

  pourquoi?

  mad maddie:

  angela came over yesterday, and we took a pad of sticky notes and jumped on my bed and stuck them to the ceiling.

  zoegirl:

  ha

  mad maddie:

  then i found 5 more pads, blue green purple pink and orange. we jumped off my chair and desk and stu
ck them ALL OVER. i totally forgot how trashed it was until i got home from school.

  zoegirl:

  aw! i wish i could have been there!

  mad maddie:

  me 2. i need more of that, just good times with my buds.

  zoegirl:

  we have had some pretty good times over the years, haven’t we?

  mad maddie:

  some FABULOUS times.

  mad maddie:

  hey, did you ever check out big bunny?

  zoegirl:

  as a matter of fact, i did. maddie … big bunny has teeth.

  mad maddie:

  yeppers

  zoegirl:

  and maddie, big bunny ate that poor little puppy.

  mad maddie:

  nuh uh. didn’t you listen to big bunny’s story about the giant orange wolf?

  zoegirl:

  the giant orange wolf who found a puppy whose nose was like an olive and whose legs were like four well-stuffed sausages?

  mad maddie:

  and you will recall that big bunny—i mean the big orange wolf—did NOT eat the puppy, cuz he wasn’t hungry at the moment. he put the puppy in a bag for later.

  zoegirl:

  ick, maddie

  mad maddie:

  blame that amy winfrey chick. she made it up!

  mad maddie:

  anywayz, there’s 6 more episodes. you have to watch them all to find out what happens.

  zoegirl:

  uh huh

  zoegirl:

  g2g—there’s someone at the door.

  mad maddie:

  come back and visit me l8r. and be sure to drink plenty of milkshakes and eat lots of sausage!

  Tues, Feb 28, 5:15 PM E.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  hey, not trying to bug you, but i’m downloading songs from itunes. want me to send you my playlist when i’m done?

  zoegirl:

  yes please!

  mad maddie:

  who was at the door?

  zoegirl:

  two jehovah’s witnesses. my instinct was to give them the polite brushoff, but then i thought, why? shouldn’t i see what they have to say?

  mad maddie:

  uh … no

  zoegirl:

  they’re people just like we are. it can’t hurt.

  mad maddie:

  yeah, but it can waste your time—time which would be far better spent downloading songs from itunes, for example.

  zoegirl:

  plus, it doesn’t say much about me if i’m not willing to consider other perspectives.

  zoegirl:

  so i invited them in, and they were nice. they were both women, and one of them wasn’t much older than us, like maybe 19 or 20. she just got married last month.

  mad maddie:

  too young, too young

  zoegirl:

  she goes to Bible study every week, and she and her husband are committed to lifting up their lives to God. well, whom they call “Jehovah.”

  zoegirl:

  can you imagine believing in something so much that you go door to door trying to spread the word?

  mad maddie:

  no, and i think it’s obnoxious that they do. organized religion gives me the heebie-jeebies.

  zoegirl:

  they left me a book called “knowledge that leads to everlasting life,” which we’re gonna discuss the next time they come.

  mad maddie:

  you invited them BACK?

  zoegirl:

  in an up-in-the-air sort of way. they said, “can we come again?” and i kind of agreed.

  mad maddie:

  good lord

  zoegirl:

  what was i supposed to say?

  zoegirl:

  the girl, tina, was so pretty. she had really long hair, and she wore a skirt and a blouse. she seemed so … innocent.

  mad maddie:

  don’t let them convert you, that’s all i’m gonna say

  zoegirl:

  oh please

  mad maddie:

  don’t “oh please” me. i’m serious!

  mad maddie:

  time for din-din. tootles!

  Wed, Mar 1, 5:01 PM E.S.T.

  SnowAngel:

  my steering wheel cover arrived! my steering wheel cover arrived! *gambols about strewing cherries thru air*

  zoegirl:

  did you end up ordering the seat cover, too?

  SnowAngel:

  yes, it’s spifftacular. plus an ADORABLE dangly cherry to hang from my rearview mirror.

  SnowAngel:

  next i’m gonna get a Barbie to prop in front of the gear shift. mary kate has a Barbie propped in front of her gear shift, and it cracks me up.

  zoegirl:

  but do you really want to copy mary kate?

  SnowAngel:

  then i’ll get a Care Bear! yeah! *gets really excited* cuz isn’t there 1 with cherries on its tummy???

  zoegirl:

  last year glendy gave you a care bear and you got all freaked out. you threw it away, remember?

  SnowAngel:

  that’s cuz it was from glendy. *makes strangled sound as if being smothered in saran wrap*

  SnowAngel:

  if there’s a Care Bear with cherries on it, then i’m definitely getting it. i’m not letting 1 bad experience taint my whole Care Bear career.

  zoegirl:

  what does logan think of your cherry theme?

  SnowAngel:

  he makes fun of it to carl and brannen, but mainly just to tease me. he’s like, “i get her a jeep—a tough rugged jeep!—and she’s already dolling it up. women!”

  zoegirl:

  i’ve noticed that he brings that up a lot, the fact that he gave it to you.

  SnowAngel:

  but he DID give it to me. i guess he’s got the right to brag.

  zoegirl:

  it doesn’t bug you?

  SnowAngel:

  no. does it bug YOU?

  zoegirl:

  why would it bug me?

  SnowAngel:

  good question, why WOULD it? i thought you wanted me and logan to be hunky-dory, so why r you looking for problems?

  zoegirl:

  i want things to be hunky-dory if they ARE hunky-dory, but i don’t think you should fake it just for the sake of the jeep.

  SnowAngel:

  what a horrible thing to say! omg, zoe!

  zoegirl:

  angela, wait, i don’t mean it in a *bad* way.

  SnowAngel:

  what other way IS there?

  zoegirl:

  well, then i’m sorry

  zoegirl:

  just delete that whole remark, ok?

  SnowAngel:

  *crosses arms over chest*

  zoegirl:

  maybe i’m just having troubles of my own. maybe i’m feeling bad and taking it out on you.

  SnowAngel:

  why? did something happen with doug?

  zoegirl:

  he’s annoyed with me because i don’t want to go to tilman barnwell’s party with him on friday. but it’s going to be that whole popular crowd. i feel awkward around them.

  SnowAngel:

  did you explain that to doug?

  zoegirl:

  no. i mean, all of a sudden doug IS friends with them, and i don’t want to hold him back. but at the same time, i’m like, “wouldn’t you rather spend friday night with me? *alone*?”

  SnowAngel:

  so what r you gonna do?

  zoegirl:

  go with him, i guess. since he wants me to.

  SnowAngel:

  ah-ha! so your rltnshp with doug ISN’T perfect—even you have to make compromises!

  zoegirl:

  i never said it was perfect!

  zoegirl:

  and of course i have to make compromises. i never said i didn’t!

  SnowAngel:

  well, then let’s not fight about it. *thwacks all stupidness away* there
, it’s gone.

  SnowAngel:

  here’s something to change the subject: guess where aunt sadie’s going tonite?

  zoegirl:

  where?

  SnowAngel:

  to a POLE-DANCING party! *snickers into cupped hands*

  SnowAngel:

  it’s the new rage among the 30s set, apparently. she and a bunch of her girlfriends r getting together, and a real live exotic dancer is going to teach them how to do pole-dances.

  zoegirl:

  i don’t understand. WHY?

 

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