Jeff remembered that it was so loud in the club it was hard to talk. But after they left, he tried to get to know her. She wasn’t having any of it, but she didn’t reject him. She entered into a sexual relationship with him, but she kept her distance. Jeff came to realize that she didn’t want anything personal. He continued to see Serena, but it was always unplanned; she didn’t want to plan anything ahead of time. He would just show up at the restaurant and then they would go out for a while, and then go back to her apartment for sex.
He admitted to himself that he was so caught up in firm politics, in trying to make partner in the large, prestigious firm, that he allowed the relationship to be impersonal. He didn’t need anything hanging him up. He let that go on for several months.
But then Serena’s mother had died and everything changed. When she texted him that her mother had passed away, he felt an overwhelming sympathy for Serena. He knew what that was like to lose someone you loved.
And even though Serena was keeping up her defenses against him, he went to her mother’s funeral. He wanted to show her that he was more than just a date, more than just a casual sex partner. Whether she wanted it or not, whether she put up a wall, Jeff knew that Serena was suffering. She was vulnerable, and he began to see her in a new light.
Serena had definitely been surprised to see him. And then he met her grandmother and Jeff couldn’t be impersonal anymore. Elena reminded him so much of his grandmother, with her petite body and endless spunk. He loved Elena right away. And Elena seemed to love him too, like some lost son.
When he went into Elena’s cottage he felt he was at home. He knew he needed to be there for Elena—and Serena, whether she knew it or not.
When he came back to visit at Elena’s insistence, he and Serena had been together, tenderly. By that point, he had begun to think he needed to leave his job. It was not satisfactory to him. He needed to do something better with his life.
Serena was more open to him than she ever had been. He still had fantasies about the nights they spent under the trees, making love. His heart started to open wide for Serena. He wanted her.
But Serena wasn’t ready. She wasn’t giving him the signals he needed to see. He stayed away for a long time. He tried to get over her. But Elena was there, texting him, and he was texting her back. He didn’t know how he could ever end that relationship, and he didn’t want to. He loved Elena. He wished he could love Serena openly. He wished Serena would drop her defenses. He wished that she would love him. Everything began to feel so complicated.
He hated being a lawyer. The partners were self-absorbed and could capture him in their offices sometimes, talking, talking, talking. They loved to hear the sound of their own voices. They loved to figure out ways to beat the little guy, beat the legal system. It was a big game, and he wanted no part of it.
Then Elena had asked him to come to Rossetti’s Fourth of July party. It would take him five hours to drive there and he would have to get back right after that. But the thought of seeing Serena again was enough for him. He needed to see her pretty face.
But it was a disaster. Serena was with Steven, something he didn’t know about, and she clearly wished that Jeff wasn’t there. He watched Steven touching Serena, and it drove him crazy. He felt awkward and couldn’t wait to get out of there.
When he got back to Atlanta, he knew he had to leave the firm. He had no idea what he was going to do with his life, but it wasn’t going to be law. Elena called him after he’d given his notice, and he told her. Elena asked him what other skills he had and he said jokingly that he was a bartender.
“We need a bartender!” Elena said. “Mark just gave his notice. He’s going back to school. We need to replace him. You could do that.”
Jeff didn’t really think that was a great idea, given the reception Serena had given him at the Fourth party. But Elena kept insisting. Finally, he told her he would only agree to it if Serena agreed to it. He hoped she would. Even if she was seeing Steven, Jeff wanted to be around her. He wanted her and maybe, somehow, he could get her.
But when he got there and started working at the bar, he couldn’t see a way to get any headway with Serena. Steven came in the bar almost every night, sitting his tall and lanky body in the barstool beside Serena. He watched them dance together, and they seemed to be in love. He didn’t know what to do about that, so when Angela started flirting with him, he flirted back. He started seeing her, like he had seen everyone in Atlanta, including Serena. Casually. What could it hurt? Serena wasn’t giving him the time of day.
It wasn’t long, though, before he started to see that Serena was troubled. Steven would come in almost every night, then he would be gone, out of town. That wasn’t anything unusual in a relationship. But Serena had a sadness in her eyes that killed him. Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. One night, after the bar closed, he stayed up until the early hours of the morning researching Steven Calloway on the Internet. He found cites from when he was a professor in Charleston. And then he found the wedding announcement.
Jeff was used to doing research. He pulled out everything he knew to find a divorce for Steven, but he couldn’t. He checked the Charleston online courthouse; he checked the newspaper listings for divorces. In the end, he couldn’t find anything about a divorce, but that didn’t mean there hadn’t been one. It could have happened anywhere. He felt sure that Steven had told Serena about his marriage and divorce. It would only cause trouble for him to tell Serena about it. So, he didn’t. He regretted that now.
That last time that Steven was away, just a few days ago, Jeff watched Serena sitting at the bar. So lonely and pretty. He wanted to feel her close to him. He didn’t care about Steven or if she was in love with him. He needed to feel Serena’s curvy body next to his. He was surprised when she accepted his offer to dance.
Her body was so voluptuous against his. He wanted to take her right there on the dance floor while Joe was singing. And when it was over, she agreed to come upstairs and she offered herself to him. There was no turning back then. He loved Serena. He wanted her.
Everything was so complicated. He knew that Serena wanted him too, but she still wanted Steven. Even after she had been devastated by Steven’s deception, he knew that she still loved Steven somehow. It would take her a while to get over that, and he had to be very careful. He couldn’t take advantage of her vulnerability.
He picked up his phone and texted Serena. “Are you okay? I’m here if you need to talk.” She didn’t text him back.
Chapter Fifteen—Elena
Elena sat on the couch with Rosita watching television. She loved that little cat. Serena had gone up to her bedroom and Elena was concerned about her. She knew that things were over with Steven, and she couldn’t say she was unhappy about that. But her granddaughter looked shell-shocked. There was something more to the story that Serena wasn’t telling her.
Was it wrong of her to want Serena to be with Jeff? Elena loved Jeff. She loved everything about him and thought he was the best match for Serena. Not only did he have Italian blood in him, he was very kind. And funny. But it wasn’t fair of Elena to want Serena to be with Jeff just because she liked him the best. Steven seemed like a decent person, too. But that was over, so Serena said. Elena’s life experience told her that things that seemed over, often weren’t really over. She felt there was more to come with the story of Steven and Serena.
It both delighted and pained her to see the way Jeff looked at Serena. It was clear that he was in love with her, but Serena gave her attention to Steven.
Serena had been a shy child. Elena understood that. Adrianna had been such a scene-stealer her entire life, and that didn’t change when she had Serena. It didn’t change when her husband had been killed. Adrianna carried herself in a certain way that Elena could only think of as dignity. Adrianna had a power over people, male and female. Serena had grown up in her mother’s shadow, and Elena realized now that it had shaped the person Serena became.
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Adrianna’s death, as tragic as it was, had freed Serena in some ways. It had cracked her hard exterior and allowed her to start feeling. It was terrible that Serena was suffering now, with the breakup with Steven, but she was feeling. That was important.
And now, Serena was upstairs in her room, suffering. There wasn’t a thing that Elena could do about that. The women in their family had suffered with loss, and now Serena was following suit. Elena prayed that Serena would come out the other side to find happiness. It was time for a female member of the family to find everlasting love.
“Come on, Rosita,” Elena said to the cat. “It’s time for bed.” She carried Rosie up to her bedroom and put her on the bed. She put on her gown and got under the covers. Rosie curled up against her waist and they both fell asleep.
Chapter Sixteen—Serena and Jeff and Steven
The sun streamed through Serena’s bedroom window, finally waking her up. She checked the clock. Eleven thirty-three. It had been a rough night, going over everything about Steven. She didn’t feel refreshed at all or prepared for the workday ahead. When she went downstairs, she realized that Nonna had already left for the diner. There was a plate of sausage and biscuits covered with aluminum foil on the table. Serena poured a cup of lukewarm coffee and zapped it in the microwave.
Rosie came into the kitchen and sat on the floor beside the table, looking up at her. Serena took a bit of the sausage and biscuit and then pinched off pieces of the sausage and put them in Rosie’s mouth. The sausage probably was too rich for her, but Rosie didn’t know that. She ate it hungrily.
Serena picked up her phone and saw the text message from Steven. “It’s not how it seems,” he texted. To Serena, it seemed exactly how it seemed. Steven was married and he had kept that from her. He had lied about it. She blocked any future texts and calls from Steven.
Jeff had also sent her a text checking on her. She texted him back that she was okay and would be in to work in the afternoon. She couldn’t deny that Jeff had been there for her. When her mother died, and now, when her world had fallen apart. He made love to her sweetly and with love. She wanted him, too.
She thought about Steven, of course. But every time she did she reminded herself that their relationship had been based on lies. She was still struggling with the new world order where Steven was married and where Steven had lied to her. She couldn’t dwell on their love or lovemaking now. Because it was all a lie.
When Nonna came home around two thirty, Elena watched a movie with her. When it was over, Serena got ready for work. She would have to put one foot in front of the other. Keep moving. Get going. Work.
“I guess I need to take Rosie with me,” Serena said, leaning over to pick up the cat.
“Oh, Jeff texted me and asked if I want to keep her a little longer. I said yes, of course. I think he worries about me being here alone while you’re at work.”
Serena said a silent thank you to Jeff. He knew what her grandmother needed better than she did, it seemed. She would thank him later.
Jimmy and Olive were in the kitchen preparing the pastas and baked dishes for the night. Brittany was at the bread station taking out her last loaf of the day. Looking at the girl, so intent on her bread, Serena realized that Brittany could use some help in the bread department. There were a lot of things around Rossetti’s that needed attention. Attention that Serena had not been giving since her consuming involvement with Steven. She was going to change that.
She walked over to Brittany and told her they needed a bread-making assistant. “Our bread has become a signature for Rossetti’s again, and that’s all because of your efforts, Brittany. But I think you need some help.”
Brittany looked at Serena gratefully. “I guess I could use some help. Do you have anyone in mind?”
“Not yet. Maybe you could put it on your Facebook page. It would be a part-time job, at least at first till we see how it goes.” She and Brittany discussed the job and what was needed. They decided on four hours a day, from ten to two. Serena was putting Brittany mostly in charge of the hire. Serena had learned a lot from working at Bridgewater’s about employees feeling a sense of value and a sense of personal power. That brought loyalty to the company.
Serena spent most of the evening in the office doing the books, dealing with receipts, writing checks. It was a slow night because it was a Wednesday—which was usually slower—and because it was the day after a major storm. When dinner shut down, she went out to the bar. Jeff was there and he brought her a cocktail.
He set the drink on the bar. “How are you doing?” he asked.
She looked into his blue eyes. They were kind and caring. “I’m, “ she said, faltering, wanting to choose the right word. “I’m recovering,” she said.
She looked around the room. “Where’s Angela?” she asked.
“She’s not coming back,” Jeff said. “She decided to stay in Montgomery.”
“Oh?” Serena said. “That’s pretty sudden, isn’t it? She didn’t even give us a notice.”
Jeff decided to be completely honest with Serena, even if she was in a vulnerable state of mind. “She said that she knew I was in love with you and she didn’t want to come back. She didn’t see a future with us.”
There it was again. Jeff was in love with her. She was so confused about Steven, but she accepted that she had deep feelings for Jeff, too. Feelings that she had been acting on. Feelings that wouldn’t go away, Steven or not. Feelings that caused her to sleep with Jeff and hold onto to him through the night.
Serena clearly didn’t want to talk about Steven or her feelings for him, so Jeff moved away down the bar. Cindy was working and it looked like she would be taking Angela’s place. Joe was at the piano, running his fingers over the keys, singing.
It was a sparse crowd that night, and by eleven, they decided to start closing down.
Jeff walked down the bar to Serena, bringing her a last cocktail. Joe was about to close the piano, when Serena walked over to him and asked him to play one more song. Joe was happy to oblige. She went back to the bar and asked Jeff if she could have the last dance with him.
Jeff wanted to dance with Serena more than anything. He was being careful of her state of mind. But Serena had asked him to dance, not the other way around. He couldn’t turn her down.
Everyone else had left Rossetti’s when Jeff and Serena made it out to the dance floor.
“Don’t know why, there’s no sun up in the sky,” Joe sang in his smooth voice. “Stormy weather.” Could he have chosen a more perfect song to go with the hurricane weather and Serena’s stormy heart. Joe knew her pretty well.
She held tightly to Jeff and they moved around the dance floor. Midway through the song, he dipped her so far that her wavy brown hair nearly touched the floor. She started laughing. The first laugh since her world with Steven had fallen apart. She could still laugh! Jeff pulled her back up to him, and he was laughing too. When the song was over, Joe pulled the cover down over the keys and got ready to leave.
“Thank you for playing that, Joe,” Serena said.
“It was Adrianna’s favorite,” he said. “I was happy to hear it again.”
Joe left, and Serena and Jeff still stood there, on the dance floor. They were alone in Rossetti’s. Jeff still held her loosely from the dance.
“Can we go upstairs?” Serena said, looking into his eyes.
That’s all Jeff wanted, but he couldn’t take advantage of Serena.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asked.
“I’m sure,” Serena said, pressing against Jeff. “I’m sure.”
Jeff wasn’t at all sure that Serena was sure. She was suffering.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t want to take advantage of you right now.”
“You aren’t taking advantage of me,” she said with a scoffing tone. “I want to go upstairs. Don’t you want me to?” Serena was sure that Jeff wanted her to go upstairs. He was in love with her.
“Of co
urse I want you to,” he said. “I guess I just want you to because you want to be with me.” He looked at her and she wanted him. “Me,” he said.
Serena stood on her tiptoes and kissed Jeff. “I want to be with you,” she said. She did want to be with Jeff. He comforted her. She loved to feel him next to her. She loved him.
And that’s when Serena knew that she loved Jeff. She dropped all of her defenses against that. She did love him.
Jeff knew that it probably wasn’t the best idea in the long run. Serena was in recovery mode from what had happened with Steven. She was not in her most sane mind at that moment. But he couldn’t resist her. He loved her. He wanted her. He would have her whichever way she would let him. He would deal with it all in the morning.
He took Serena’s petite hand and guided her to his bedroom. He lit the candle and turned on the radio low. She fell back on the bed and he lay beside her, kissing her. As he was making love to her, she said, “I just want to be with you, Jeff. Just you.”
He wanted so much to believe her.
But in the early hours of the morning, when they had both woken up, he said, “Serena, I know you have a lot of things to work out about Steven.” He didn’t want to have to bring it up, but he did have to bring it up. Serena needed to come to him, free and clear of Steven. It wouldn’t work otherwise.
“It was a shock,” she said. “Finding out the truth about everything. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew that, and that’s why I was with you. I let myself be with you because it wasn’t right with Steven.”
Jeff kissed her neck, then her mouth. It was true, he reasoned, that she had been with him while she was still supposedly with Steven. But why? He needed to be sure about Serena’s feelings, but he didn’t know how to be sure.
“Okay,” he said.
“Don’t you want me?” she said.
“Of course I want you. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a while now. I just want you to be sure of your feelings.”
Serena's Choice - Coastal Romance Series Page 16
