I make my way down going half speed with her a bike’s length behind me. As the trail widens at the bottom, she pulls beside me and then passes me.
“I see how this is gonna be.” I pump my legs as hard as I can.
Smaller hills make up the remainder of the ride, and by the end, we’ve caught up with Jeff again.
“Who’s up for food or beer?” Josie calls as we mingle at the trailhead.
I’m beat, but I ask Liz anyway. “You want to join them?”
Her face contorts. “I’m pretty tired, but you could drop me off if you want to go out.”
“No, I’m beat too. And five a.m. is going to come fast.”
We fix our bikes to the rack and climb into my truck. “You okay after that ride?”
“Sure. Like I said, mind over matter.”
“It’s more of a psychological sport, isn’t it?”
We talk about our weeks and set aside the next Saturday for our mini-golf date.
“My sister’s going to think I’m dating the lamest guy.” She laughs.
“These other dudes are not doing it right.”
“And you’re Mister Confident?”
“Hey, good ole American wholesome fun. It’s good for the soul.” I check both ways before I pull onto the road.
“As long as I don’t have to eat funnel cake.”
“Oh, gross.” I laugh.
At her complex, we rinse off the bikes, and I carry hers up to the apartment.
“Where’s Brad?” I ask as she unlocks the door.
“Working.” She opens the door and flips on the lights. I take the bike to her porch and lock it up.
“So, I’ll see you Wednesday?”
“Yeah.”
“Awesome.” I almost decide to kiss her, but I’m not sure if she’s feeling it. I duck around her, heading for the door.
“Should I expect flowers tomorrow?” She follows behind me.
I spin to face her and pan my eyes to the ceiling. “I don’t know. I think I may have to do something more exciting. Maybe sky writing.” I wave my hand through the air. “Liz, will you go to mini-golf with me? You did say you liked surprises.”
“I did.” She catches my hand and inserts herself between me and the door. “I had fun today.”
I smile and bite my lip. “Me too. Are you looking for a kiss?”
“Are you being a tease?”
“Oh, God no.” I wrap my hand around her neck and pull her face to mine, pressing my lips to hers hard. Still, before the kiss can proceed to more, she pulls away.
Before I even get the chance to plan something cute to do for her, she’s waiting outside the hospital when I leave work on Tuesday.
“What time did you get off?” I look at my watch.
“I only had an eight today.” She holds up a picnic basket. “I made us a picnic.”
“You didn’t tell me you had a short shift.”
“If I told you everything, there would be no surprises.”
I look up at the cloudless sky and the sun scorching the earth. Even at ten degrees cooler than last month, ninety is still warm. “I’m still in my scrubs, and I feel gross. Where are we having this picnic?”
“Sorry, bad idea, I guess. You probably need time to unwind after work.”
“No, it’s sweet. Can I go home and shower first? Where were you planning on going for the picnic?”
“My balcony?”
“I’ll meet you there in a half hour?”
“Sure.” She smiles. “That sounds great.”
We walk to her car, and I kiss her as she spins to say goodbye. “I’m looking forward to tonight.”
As the kiss ends, she lays a hand on my chest. “It’s a picnic.”
“Okay, got it.” I take that to mean it’s not an invitation to anything more physically. And although I’m kind of going nuts in that department, I don’t plan on rushing her.
The next two weeks proceed in the same fashion. Our mini-golf game and bowling night are super fun dates. I surprise her with a night-hike outing, which she reluctantly lets me call a date. So, by the time we load our things into my truck for the trip to San Diego, we’ve been on five official dates and as many non-approved ones.
“So, how is Rosh Hashanah celebrated? What is the plan?” she asks as we pass the one-hour mark.
Well, I guess families may celebrate differently, but we have a big meal before sundown on the day the holiday begins. From sundown the first day to sundown the next, we fast, only drinking water. But you don’t have to do that part. There’s a service and then a casting-into-the-water ceremony where you cast away all your sins. After sundown, we have a big feast. As a kid, the best part was the apples and honey you got to eat right after the day ended.
“Sort of like fasting on Friday.”
“You do that?”
“I remember the adults doing it in Ireland. In the States, we have meatless Friday. I can’t imagine you have many sins to atone for.”
“Well, you’ve only known me two-and-a-half months. I think coveting my friend’s fiancée and out-of-wedlock sex are considered bad in the church’s eyes.”
“Amanda and Doug were engaged? You never said that.”
“Well, they weren’t engaged, engaged. It was more like a promise to be engaged arrangement. Doug is a romantic, go-with-your-feelings type of guy, and also huge on planning.
Liz makes googly eyes at me. “I don’t know anyone else that does that?”
“Fine.” I roll my eyes. “Anyway. He gave her a promise ring before he moved halfway around the world. She took it, knowing it meant they were to be engaged, so I guess they sort of were.”
“You’re right. You’re a horrible guy. I can’t believe I’m dating you. But I wouldn’t worry about the sex thing. Everyone does that.”
I would have commented on the dating thing, as we hadn’t officially defined our relationship, but she’d added in the part about sex, so it seemed more logical to go with that first.
“Not everyone does it. Just because a lot of people do doesn’t make it right.” I glance her way, trying to gauge where she is.
“Are you saying sex is horrible and you regret doing it?”
“Oh no, not at all. I’m thinking in the eyes of the church… You know, like Noah, and the Ten Commandments.”
“Noah, and the Ten Commandments?” She peers into my eyes.
I slap my forehead. “Or the other dude, Moses?”
“All that was very practical when people got married at fourteen.”
She still hadn’t stated how she felt about sex before marriage, and I wonder if I should ask. She didn’t seem like the prudish type, and I assume she wants the relationship to be more established before we go further physically.
“Tell me about your aunt and her family.” Her words bring me out of my indecision, and I guess the chance passed.
My aunt Heather is two years younger than my mother, and my aunt’s kids are similar ages to me and my siblings, so I tell Liz about them and their interests. Then, I ask her more about her family.
She clears her throat, pats her chest, and stares out the front windshield for a few seconds. “We’re mostly girls, you know, girly stuff. My sister Marie got her cosmetology license and works with my mother.” Out of the corner of my eye, I catch her jaw tighten.
We pass the rest of the drive commenting on the never-ending desert, music, and current events. When we pull into the drive, my aunt Heather runs out, apron on, and arms outspread.
“Here we go? You going to survive this?” I ask Liz.
“Course. I’m from New Jersey.” She winks at me.
“It’s so good to meet you. I’m Aunt Heather, but you can call me Heather.” My aunt wraps her arms around Liz.
“Thank you for including me,” Liz responds.
I wrap around, and Aunt Heather gives me a hug. “I never get used to how tall you are. How my sister birthed you boys, I don’t know.”
My face grows warm, as I try to clear the visual f
rom my head.
“Get your things. You must be tired and hungry.” Heather waves us inside where she yells for everyone to come greet us. My uncle Grant and cousins Tabitha and Neal congregate around us. Then, Heather shows us to our room. I’m not sure why I hadn’t thought to ask for two rooms, or to make sure she didn’t assume we would sleep in one, but I hadn’t—and there we were, standing in their guest bedroom that held only one queen-sized bed.
I spin to face Heather. “Oh, we’re not—”
A timer on Heather’s apron goes off. “Oh, my goodness, the brisket. You two make yourselves at home. There’s a bathroom right there.” She points to a door on the other side of the room and jogs away.
I close the door behind her and spin to face Liz. Her face is blood red. “I’m so sorry. I can bunk with Neal. I didn’t tell her we were together like that, I swear. She assumed.”
“No, it’s okay. We’re adults. I get it.” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her middle.
“I’m going to use the restroom.” I point at the bathroom door. I do need to, but I want to give her some space as she looked like she might be near tears.
When I return, she’s still standing there. “I’m not sure what to do.” Her hands go to her forehead.
“It’s okay.” I take her hands. “I can see if Neal has extra space. It’s not a big deal. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Okay.” She slides her hand from my grip and paces away from me.
“I’ll go find Neal now.”
Closing the door behind me, I loop to the living room. Finding no one, I make my way to the basement. Sitting on the couch beside Grant, Tabitha, and Neal is someone I didn’t expect. “Papa?”
My grandfather’s white head turns at my voice. “You found me. Heather was saving it for a surprise.” He pushes off the arm of the chair to a stand.
I cross the room and wrap my arms around him. “I thought you were at Mom’s already.”
“God awful hot Indian… Oh, excuse me, Native-American summer there. Came back to get some more cool breeze in.”
“It’s good to see you. We didn’t take your room, did we?”
“Oh, it’s okay, Neal doesn’t snore too much. Now where’s the beauty I’ve been hearing about?”
“She’s freshening up. You sit down. I’ll get her in a minute.”
“Yeah, I’m not walking up and down those stairs again.”
I sit beside him. They have a baseball game on, and he asks me about the Diamondbacks. In a few minutes, Liz and Heather join us. I stand to introduce Liz to my grandfather. “This is Papa Adam. Papa, this is Liz.”
“Well, look at you,” Papa starts. “What a beauty.” He extends his hand to her, and she shakes it.
“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise, here, sit beside Zack. My back’s killing me anyway.”
“Here, Papa.” I retrieve a pillow and set it in the arm chair. “This will help.”
“This one.” Papa points at me. “Always helping me out with my pains. Keeping me in shape.”
“You still doing those exercises?”
“Every day. Keeps my legs and back limber. Helps my arthritis.”
“I told you.”
“I’m so proud of you.” He pats my shoulder.
I offer my arm while he lowers himself to the chair seat. Tabitha and Neal talk a little about college, and we refocus on the game. Papa interrupts every so often with a question for Liz. When he learns she grew up in Ireland, he starts talking about the war.
“I know we went to England a few times, but I don’t really remember. I was too young to remember much except my town, school, and house,” she tells him.
“I guess eight is pretty young.”
Aunt Heather returns with news that dinner is ready, and we proceed upstairs.
“So, are we really doing this whole fasting thing?” Neal poses to everyone as we pass the food around.
“Well, not your grandfather, of course. But, I expect you guys to honor the tradition. It’ll be good for you.”
“Zack?” Neal looks to me. “What about you?”
I’m the oldest cousin and have Neal beat by three years. I kind of feel like the head of our generation. “I was planning on it.” I stuff a bite of meat in my mouth. When I finish chewing, I continue. “I mean, it’s one day. We’ve always done it since our bar mitzvahs.”
“I guess.” Neal rolls his eyes. It’s funny because I usually think of Tabitha being the rebellious one. But Neal’s twenty-two and a senior. Maybe he’s trying to forge his own path.
“Well, you’re adults, I guess,” Aunt Heather hedges. “I can’t really tell you how to live your life anymore.”
Neal sets his fork on his plate. “I have classes I need to be in. I can’t cut and spend the whole day at synagogue.”
“Like your mother said,” Uncle Grant speaks up, “it’s up to you.”
“I have lectures too,” Tabitha puts in, her eyes trained on her plate.
I glance around the table. Beside me, Liz’s eyes are like saucers, and I slide my hand onto her leg under the table. She smiles and wraps her fingers around mine.
“Do you have any sightseeing planned while you’re here? Are you staying through the weekend?” Neal asks.
“We planned on it. But I don’t want to be an inconvenience. We can get a hotel room.”
“Of course not. You’re fine here.” Heather points her fork at me. “I told you that.”
“How come he gets to have his girlfriend in his room?” Tabitha asks.
Uncle Grant clears his throat. “Zack is an independent grown man. When you’re paying your own bills and have your own place, then you can do as you please.”
My face feels flushed, and I know it must be beet red. It’s kind of typical of my family to say anything they’re thinking, but I’m pained, wondering if Liz is mortified.
“This is not really polite dinner conversation,” Aunt Heather says. “Liz, tell us more about yourself.”
Liz describes her position and move from New Jersey, her job search, and siblings.
“Well, you’re mighty brave to move all the way across the country,” Heather points out.
“I was ready for a change.” Her eyes cut to me and then back to Heather.
I question Tabitha and Neal about their majors, and the meal proceeds without any more embarrassing topics. Afterwards, we help Heather and Grant clean up. Then, feeling the need to get some exercise, I ask about a walking path.
Heather directs us to one, and we slip on our sneakers and start out. The terrain is hilly and trees line the trail. The air is cool and humid. I take Liz’s hand as we walk and enjoy a few moments of quiet with her.
“This reminds me of Ireland,” Liz notes.
“When were you there last?”
“I haven’t been back since I moved.”
“Wow, not even for a visit?”
“Funds weren’t really available.” She shrugs.
“Do you want to visit?”
She is silent for a minute, and I notice her take a deep breath. “Maybe.” She nods. “I know it won’t be like I remember, so I’m not sure.”
“Sorry about the room thing.”
“Yeah, it was pretty uncomfortable. But I can totally see that happening in my family too.” Her eyes find mine, and then she looks back at the path. “Can I ask a question?”
“Sure.”
“How many people did you sleep with this year?”
“Like calendar year or the last twelve months?”
“Now you’re making me really nervous.”
“Nah, I had a girlfriend last fall, so her. Then there were like two more that were less serious relationships.”
“Like hookups?” she presses.
“Yeah.” I hate admitting that to her, but I’m not going to lie. I stop and face her. Taking her other hand, I lace my fingers in hers. “I haven’t been with anyone since I moved to Arizona. I’m l
ooking for something different now.” I bend down so we are eye to eye. “I actually wanted to clarify something with you. I’m not seeing anyone else or looking for anyone else to go out with. Are you?”
Her mouth opens, and she shuts it. Her eyes cut away and then back to mine. “No.” She slides a hand from my grasp and tucks her hair behind one ear. “I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“Good.” I let go of my breath. “Could we make it sort of official that we’re dating each other? I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“I don’t know.” She crosses her arms over her chest and balls her fists in her armpits. “I wasn’t thinking anything like this. I mean we’ve only been going out like a month.”
I take a step back, unsure how to respond. Smiling, I wag a finger at her. “Well, if you want to be hard line about our first date, but we went on the canyon trip together and have known each other since July. I mean, you do like me, right?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes open wide, and her pupils dart this way and that but never land on me.
“Is there someone else that you are interested in?”
“No, nothing like that. I wasn’t thinking this was that serious.”
“We’ve been hanging out like three days a week, every week for a month.”
“I guess.” Her eyes drop to the ground.
“You know, never mind.” I straighten up and continue along the path.
“Wait.” She catches up and grabs my hand. “Sorry, you surprised me. I guess that’s fine.”
“I don’t want you to guess. It’s not a big deal.” I straighten my back, feeling like a total idiot.
“Well, you wouldn’t have said anything unless you wanted to define our relationship.”
“No, it’s fine. If you want to see other people, it’s good for me to know.”
“I don’t want to see other people. I mean, I like hanging out with you.”
“But if you want to have that option.”
“I don’t… I don’t know why I hesitated. I’ve never dated more than one person at a time, so yeah, I like knowing where you stand.”
“Really? Because that’s now how it seemed a minute ago.”
“You caught me off guard.”
“What did you think we were doing?”
“I wasn’t really thinking about it. I mean having a job and an apartment—everything is new.” She shakes her head and places her hands on each side of my face. “Yes. I want to be dating you, officially.” She smiles.
Deepest Scars: A Being Me Stand-Alone Companion Novel Page 16
