“It’s mid-August. That’s hardly the end of summer. We still have a few weeks to go.”
“Yeah, but it goes by fast.”
“I guess you’re right.”
We walked up the steps and Drew pushed open the door, then placed his hand on my back and guided me through the door.
“Surprise!”
Startled, I took a step back and bumped into Drew as he steadied me. All of his friends were gathered in the living room smiling at me. There were baby banners and some kind of cake made out of diapers. Boxes and bags were scattered through the living room, overflowing with tissue paper. In the corner of the room was a giant teddy bear sitting in a rocker. Before I had time to process what I was seeing, women were walking toward me and wrapping me in warm hugs. Some people I didn’t even know.
It was a little weird and I couldn’t understand why people I barely knew were here throwing me a baby shower. My stupid hormones took over and I ran from the room crying and headed for the bathroom or where I hoped the bathroom was since I had never been in this house before. A knock sounded at the door before I was ready to see anyone, but the voice was reassuring.
“Sarah, are you alright, sweetheart?” Drew asked.
I opened the door a little and allowed him to come in. He pulled me into his arms and I immediately melted into him. I cried into his shirt for the better part of five minutes before pulling myself together.
“I don’t know what happened. These stupid pregnancy hormones have me crying at the drop of a hat.”
“You don’t have to lie to me. You know more about me than anyone else in that room. You can tell me what’s bothering you.”
“The thing is, I don’t know what’s wrong. I should be happy. All these people are here and they brought presents for my children. I should be so grateful that these people thought enough of me to do this for me, but…”
“But it’s not who you wish was here.”
“That’s so selfish of me.”
“It’s not selfish to wish that the father of your children was here. I don’t know anything about your life before you came here, but I’m sure you wish there were people from that time here to celebrate with you. That’s not selfish.”
I gestured toward the hallway, completely embarrassed that now I would have to go out there and face them all. “They’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“Maybe. You seem to always end up crying in the bathroom, but we’ve all been around hormonal, pregnant women. We’re well aware of the idiosyncrasies of a pregnant woman. You don’t have to tell them what you’re feeling, though they would all understand. You just say you were overwhelmed by the support and you needed a moment to pull yourself together.”
“Okay.”
“Come on. I’ll introduce you to everyone. I’m sure there are people here that you’ve never met before.”
We walked out of the bathroom after I did a quick check in the mirror and went back to the living room where everyone was chatting as if nothing happened. Harper made her way over to me and wrapped me in a big hug.
“I acted a little crazy when I was pregnant, too.” Harper whispered in my ear, but apparently not quietly enough.
“A little? Woman, you drove me up the wall when you were pregnant. In fact, we’re not having any more kids cuz I’m not sure if I can deal with that particular brand of crazy again.”
“Really? So what am I supposed to do with the little one currently residing in my belly?”
The whole room went deadly silent and Jack stared at her like he was considering whether what she was saying was true. After a long pause, an older woman ran forward and started kissing Harper on the cheeks and patting her tummy, rambling on about getting another grand baby. Jack, finally pulled from his reverie, stalked toward Harper and pulled her into his arms and kissed her with so much passion my face turned red. When they finally came up for air, the rest of the group gathered around giving their congratulations and well wishes.
“I’m so sorry, Sarah. I didn’t mean to announce that at your party.”
“It’s okay. It takes all the pressure off me!” I gave her a hug and stepped back looking at all the happy faces around me. I didn’t know all of them, but they were all so friendly and seemed like a great group of people, like a family. They couldn’t replace those that weren’t here with me, but it wasn’t a bad place to start.
Everyone took turns pulling me around the room and introducing me to those I didn’t know. Harper’s mother-in-law, Agnes, gave out hugs and kisses and promised me homemade lasagna. She was Italian and made everything from scratch. She promised to teach me all about cooking someday and I was overjoyed since I no longer had a mother to teach me that stuff. Alex was sitting on the couch smiling and when she tried to get up, I stopped her. She was still recovering from her attack and although she looked fine, Drew had told me she was still struggling to do physical activities.
Cece, who now sported a slightly rounded belly, stood next to Vira who was glaring at someone across the room. I followed her gaze to see an equally upset looking Sean, glaring back. I didn’t want to know what was going on there. I had enough to deal with. Anna was also there and her baby was toddling around somewhere by the guys. Cole’s mother, Patricia, was also there. I had never met her, but she was just as motherly as Agnes. My heart hurt the more I thought about the fact that I was alone, but I pushed it aside as I continued around the room. Cole’s cousin, Kate, was also there and gave me her card, making me promise to call her if I had any questions. She was a physician and though OB-GYN wasn’t her area of expertise, she promised to help me with anything I needed. There was one more woman that stood off to the side, not really engaging in any conversation. Cara, Sean’s sister, was sipping water and pretending to blend into the wallpaper. It felt as though I had found a kindred spirit in her.
“Hi, I’m Sarah.”
“Cara. I’m Sean’s sister.”
“Yeah, he’s mentioned you.”
“Oh really? What did he tell you?” She had a snarky attitude and I could only guess that it was a defense mechanism of some kind.
“Nothing, just mentioned who you were.”
“Well, I’m not really someone worth knowing so you should just go join the sorority girls over there.”
“Um..I’m not…I mean, I don’t really fit in anywhere. I just moved here and I’ve only met them a handful of times. They’re really nice, but I’m not quite as..”
“Bubbly?”
I laughed at her assessment. That wasn’t really what I would consider them. They weren’t bubbly. They were just full of life and I wasn’t. I had a feeling Cara felt the same way.
“Maybe you could help me get through this party without feeling like a total outsider.”
She nodded and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to a seat that I gladly sat in. I had only been standing for about a half hour, but it was already too long. As I sat down, I noticed Sean looking intently at Cara and I. He had a look on his face that I didn’t quite understand, but he wasn’t objecting to me being around his sister, so I sat down and waited for the party to commence. I looked out at the sea of gifts and blew out a breath. This was going to be one long party.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Drew
THE GUYS ALL hung around the back porch and the kitchen, but I kept mostly to the kitchen where I could keep an eye on Sarah. When she broke down in tears, I thought maybe I had misstepped, but I really thought this would be good for her. No matter what had happened before she moved here, she needed friends around that would support her when the babies were born.
Sean seemed to stick close to the kitchen also. I noticed him watching Cara and Sarah a few times. He seemed nervous at first, but then relaxed as he saw the two women interacting. I never would have thought Cara and Sarah would hit it off. Cara was so abrasive after what happened to her and Sarah seemed way too emotional to deal with that. For some reason though, it worked.
There were so many gifts that Seba
stian and Ryan had to help haul stuff back in their trucks. I didn’t even know what half this crap was, but Harper, Anna, Agnes, and Patricia all insisted it was all necessary while the other girls looked on in curiosity. I had to admit, it was fun watching Sarah open all the presents. Most of them, she had no clue as to their function, but she smiled and thanked everyone anyway.
“Where do you want the rocker?” I asked after Sebastian and Ryan left.
“I think we should just leave it for another day. I’m exhausted and I just want to go to sit down for a while and relax.”
“How about this? Let’s watch a movie and I’ll order a pizza.”
“We just ate two hours ago. Don’t tell me you’re already hungry?”
“I’m not, but I know you are. Don’t deny it.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked guiltily at the couch as she rubbed her belly. “Alright. Yeah, pizza sounds really good right now.”
I guided her over to the couch and then ordered a pizza for us. We looked through movies on the TV to find something to watch. After much arguing, we finally settled on Red. She had never seen it before and I promised she would like it. She did and actually laughed during most of it. It was probably the most relaxed I had ever seen her before. I had also never seen her laugh so much in all the time I had known her. When the pizza arrived, she put away half of the family size pizza and I ate the other half.
When the movie was over, I got up to leave and Sarah grabbed my arm. She looked vulnerable and unsure of herself as she tried to ask me something. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Sarah, whatever it is, just ask.”
“I was wondering if you could stay with me tonight.”
At first I thought she meant it as something more and I was about to tell her no, but then I realized that nothing about tonight would point to her feelings being more than friends. Knowing that, I couldn’t refuse her. She’d had a hard day and obviously needed a little comfort tonight.
“Sure. Why don’t you go get ready for bed and I’ll lock up. I can sleep on the couch.”
“No. Can you.. I want you to…to stay in bed with me. Strictly platonic. I just don’t want to feel alone tonight.”
“Okay.”
I stood and went to the kitchen and cleaned up, then made sure all the doors were locked. I took my time, making sure she would have plenty of time to get ready and in bed. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. When I finally went into her bedroom, she was getting in bed in a short pair of shorts and a tank top that stretched over her belly. She didn’t see me, so I watched her for a minute from the doorway. She was beautiful. She was so strong, dealing with the death of her babies’ father and impending motherhood that she would be facing alone. She fluffed the pillows all around her and spent a good few minutes getting everything in place. When I saw how long it was taking her to get situated, I decided to step in and help.
Walking over to the bed, she finally saw me and laughed at her predicament. “It gets harder every night to get comfortable.”
“Why don’t you give me a minute and we’ll try something.”
I walked to the bathroom and made quick work of getting ready for bed. The hardest part was trying to figure out what I was going to wear to bed. I finally decided on my boxers and t-shirt. It was more than I usually wore, but she probably wouldn’t be comfortable with less. I climbed into bed next to her and scooted closer to her.
“Why don’t you lay on your side and I’ll put this pillow in front of you to support your tummy and your legs. Then I’ll lay behind you to support your back. I’m a lot harder than a pillow.”
I practically groaned in embarrassment at my statement. That sounded so bad. “I mean, my body is harder, not…other areas of my body.”
She started laughing at me. “I know what you meant, but it’s cute hearing you try to explain yourself.”
I pushed up behind her and helped her situate the pillow, then wrapped my arm around her belly, letting my hand rest on her belly button.
“Is this okay?”
“Yeah. It’s kind of nice. It’s been so long, I kind of forgot what it felt like to be held.”
“I kind of forgot what it felt like to hold someone.”
“Have you not…slept with a woman since your wife?”
“I haven’t been with anyone since her. For a while, when I first moved here, I slept in bed with Harper. That only lasted until last year when she finally moved in with Jack. There was never anything between us, but it was comforting to lay next to someone again.”
Silence stretched on until I heard the slow breathing signaling that she was asleep. I was just about to drift off to sleep when I felt the tiny kicks coming from her belly. They only lasted a minute before her tummy went still again.
The sun peeked through the windows the next morning and for the first time in a long time, my body was reacting to the gorgeous woman lying beside me. Sure that she would not be okay with my erection poking her in the ass, I moved away from her and got up to use the bathroom. When I went to the kitchen, I saw that it was still early, so I made some coffee and checked out the fridge for breakfast.
When I was just about to go call her for breakfast, she walked sleepily into the kitchen and plunked down at the table, rubbing her belly.
“Coffee. I need coffee.”
“Did you not sleep well?” I asked as I grabbed a mug and filled it for her.
“No. That was the best I’ve slept in months.”
“Ah. So, just not a morning person then.”
“I don’t think I moved all night. When I woke up, my arm was numb from sleeping on it all night.”
“Well, breakfast is just about ready and then we can work on getting the babies’ room set up.”
I dished out the food and we sat in silence as we ate. Sarah kept moaning when she put a bite of food in her mouth and it was making me rather uncomfortable. I had to shift in my chair several times to find a more comfortable position. When she bit into her bacon, I had to leave the table before my cock took hold of my body. She looked at me strangely as my chair practically flipped backwards in my haste to get away from her.
“Uh, I think I’m gonna run home for a while.”
“I thought we were setting up the room?”
“Yeah..definitely, I’ll just head…run! I’ll run home and use the bathroom.”
“You can use my bathroom.”
“I have things that I have to take care of…there.”
She looked confused and then smiled at me. “Oh, well, you know I have air freshener in the bathroom. It’s nothing I haven’t smelled before.”
Shit. That was even worse than telling her I had to get away from her because I had a boner that was threatening to break the zipper on my jeans.
“No. I mean I have to take a shower. In my house. Alone.”
“Oh. Okay.” She was so cheery. She didn’t even get that I was a mess right now, trying to figure out why my body suddenly decided after all these years to be attracted to the one woman I should probably stay away from. She was going through her own shit and about to have twins. She didn’t need me acting like a horny teenager around her.
“Alright. I’ll go. Home. To shower.”
Goddamn, I couldn’t even talk around her. I was so focused on keeping my erection from her line of sight that I couldn’t form a sentence. The problem was, I was standing behind the counter in her kitchen and I had to walk around her to get to the front door. When she looked at me, expecting me to leave and showing no signs of getting up herself, I finally walked out from behind the counter. I saw the moment when she saw the rather large tent in my pants. Her face turned bright red and her eyes widened, then shot up to meet my gaze.
I cleared my throat and tried to move, but I was frozen as I stared at her. I didn’t know what I expected to happen, but I wasn’t prepared for what she said.
“You should go take care of that,” she said, pointing at my cock. “It looks, uh, painful.”
&n
bsp; She blushed an even deeper red and not knowing what to say in response, I walked around her and headed for the door. I made my way quickly to my house and went to my bedroom, stripping my clothes on the way. I hadn’t gotten hard for a woman in years, not since my wife. Thoughts of her and the final months of her life had stripped all desire from my body. I had been to plenty of bars where women would try to drape themselves on me and try to get me to take them home, but not one had had any effect on me.
I stepped into the shower and grabbed my cock, needing to find some release before this became my permanent state. I felt like I had taken Viagra and was one of the unlucky people whose erection lasted longer than four hours. I fisted my cock and jerked myself off, but the face that I saw was Sarah’s. I saw her crawling into bed in those cute little things she called pajamas. I saw her sitting outside in her garden. I saw her moaning as she ate bacon. None of those things were something I would have ever classified as sexual before, but as I jerked my self faster and harder, the images of her continued to flow through my mind.
When I finally found my release, I leaned my head against the shower wall and guilt flooded me. I hadn’t even considered thinking about Iris once while I was walking over here or when I was in the shower. Little by little, Iris was leaving me and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Part of me was relieved that I might be finally able to move on, if not with another woman, at least move on from feeling sad all the time. The other part of me knew that as soon as I started to let her go, she would slip faster and faster from my memory and one day, she would hardly exist. I wasn’t sure if I was okay with that.
As I got dressed, I realized that for the first time in a long time, I had missed my night with Iris. I hadn’t even thought about sitting out on the porch and waiting for her to wrap her warmth around me. Sarah had asked me to stay and I hadn’t even thought twice about it. I sat down on my bed and stared at the floor, not knowing where to go from here. I had to make a decision. I could head over to Sarah’s and talk to her about what was going on or I could stay here and pine over my dead wife.
Drew Page 12
