by M. C. Decker
“I’m so sorry. I regret having involved you two. I should’ve told Bentley just liked you said. I’ll understand if you never want to speak to me again.”
“Ireland, you’re my best friend. You’re practically my sister. I may not have agreed with your decision, but I told you I would go along with it. I made the decision to back you just as you made the decision that you felt was best for you and your baby.”
“But, I’ve made things uncomfortable for Greg too. He’s Bentley’s best friend. He sees him every day at work. I’m so sorry. Please tell him how sorry I am.”
“We both know, sweetie. You need to calm down for the baby’s sake. Do you need me to come over?”
“No, you have a newborn there who needs his mommy more than I do. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’m just going to try and get some sleep anyways. All I want to do is stay in bed for the next four to five months. Give Shawn big smooches from his auntie,” I said, before ending the call.
Grabbing a pillow off the couch, I rested my head against it. I must have been so emotionally drained after Bentley’s visit that I soon succumbed to sleep. Waking up several hours later, my every joint was aching from head to toe from sleeping on the floor. I managed to pry myself off the carpet and padded to the bedroom where I crawled into bed and stayed for the next two days.
Getting ready for my doctor’s appointment, I heard my phone bing with an incoming text. I grabbed it off my dresser, hoping that it was Bentley saying that he’d go to the appointment with me. I was finding out the baby’s gender and I really wanted him to be a part of it. He’d already missed so much and the only person to blame for that was me.
Katie: Isn’t your appointment this afternoon? Want me to go with you? I can see if Greg’s mom wants to watch Shawn for a bit.
I loved Katie so much and really didn’t know what I would do without her. But, I’d been leaning on her too much lately and needed to start learning how to deal with everything on my own again. I’d done it once before; I could do it again.
Ireland: No, I’m good. Thank you for always thinking of me though. This is something I need to do alone though. I did send the information to Bentley, but he never responded. I’m guessing he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Hopefully he’ll eventually come around for the baby’s sake.
Katie: You know he’s a good man, Ireland. You know as well as I do that Bentley will be there for this child just like he’s been there for Tanner all these years. Lord knows, Staci hasn’t made it easy for him.
Ireland: I know. I just really thought I would’ve heard from him by now. I need to finish getting ready now. I’ll text you after the appointment and let you know how it goes.
Katie: Eeeeeep! I can’t wait to hear if I’m going to have a little niece or nephew to spoil!
I rushed into the doctor’s office with only minutes to spare. Parking had been a nightmare—with only parallel parking available. I had to park in a city lot about a half-mile away from the health center. Although it was a relatively cool, early summer day, I was sweating and out of breath when I walked up to the receptionist’s counter.
“Hi there,” I said as she opened the sliding glass window to greet me. “I hope I’m not late. I’m Ireland O’Brien. I’m here for my appointment with Dr. Rhoads.”
“Yes, Miss O’Brien. You’re right on time and the doctor is running a little behind anyways. Not to worry, you’ve already been checked in. You may have a seat and we’ll call you back when the doctor is ready to see you.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, confusedly. “Who could’ve checked me in?”
“I’m sorry. That gentleman sitting in the corner checked you in,” she said, pointing toward the opposite side of the room. Being so flustered when I walked into the office, I hadn’t even noticed anyone sitting in the waiting room. “He said he was with you. I just assumed he was the baby’s father.”
As I turned to look, I’m fairly certain my heart stopped momentarily. Bentley was sitting in one of the chairs with his elbows resting on his knees, raking his hair with his fingers. He looked terrible. I mean as terrible as Bentley could ever look. Sure, he was still handsome as ever, but he looked defeated. It appeared as if he hadn’t slept in days. I felt a sudden pang in my chest, realizing what I’d put him through.
“Miss, are you OK. Have I overstepped?” the receptionist asked.
“No, no. It’s fine. He’s my baby’s father. Thank you,” I reassured her, giving her a forced smile as I turned and walked toward Bentley.
“Hi,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek. “I didn’t expect to see you here. You never returned my messages.”
He looked up and stared at me in silence for several seconds before answering, “I wasn’t sure if I was coming. I guess you could say it was a last minute decision, but here I am.”
“Well, I’m glad you decided to come,” I said in a tired voice.
“I didn’t do it for you, Ireland. I did it for our child. No matter what happens between us, I will always be there for my son or daughter.”
“OK,” I muttered, lowering my head so he wouldn’t see my tears.
We waited in silence for several minutes before a nurse opened the door into the exam area and called my name. Rising from my seat, I began walking toward the nurse before realizing Bentley hadn’t gotten up yet,
I turned to face him, before asking, “Well, are you coming?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t know if you wanted me in the room for everything. I thought maybe someone could just come and call for me when they were doing the ultrasound.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Bentley. You’ve seen me naked. We can both be adults about this.”
“Fine,” he said as he stood and followed me into the office.
I changed into the paper gown laid out for me on the exam table as Bentley took a seat in one of the chairs across the room. The nurse charted my vitals before Dr. Rhoads entered and greeted both Bentley and me.
“Ireland, it’s nice to see you again. How have you been feeling since your last visit?” she asked.
“It’s nice to see you again, too, Dr. Rhoads. I’ve been feeling pretty good actually. Those pills you prescribed for the nausea have helped tremendously. Maybe too well, actually. The nurse said I’d gained almost twelve pounds since my appointment last month.”
“Normally, I would tell you to watch your calorie intake after seeing that kind of rapid weight gain, but since you actually lost weight during your first trimester, I don’t as yet see a problem. But, to be on the safe side, I think I’ll order you a blood glucose test. Typically, we’d wait until you were a bit further along, but I don’t think it’ll hurt to go ahead and do it now just to check things out,” she explained, turning toward Bentley. “And, I assume this is the baby’s father?”
“Yes, I’m James Roberts,” he said, shaking Dr. Rhoads’ hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Rhoads. I’m sorry I was—unavailable—for Ireland’s other appointments.”
After checking my heartbeat and examining my belly for any abnormalities, Dr. Rhoads removed a blood pressure cuff from the equipment drawer.
“I know the nurse already took your blood pressure while she was checking your vitals, but I’d like to measure it again,” she explained. “It was quite high, and if I’m being honest I’m concerned.”
I didn’t want to worry, but I’d read about high blood pressure during pregnancy and I feared complications such as preeclampsia and placental abruption.
“Is everything OK,” I asked, as the blood pressure cuff squeezed my arm tighter and tighter.
“It’s come down a bit from when you first got here, but it’s still about 140/90 which causes some concern. Ireland, have you had any extra stress in your life since your last visit,” she asked, pointedly.
“I suppose you could say that,” I said, glancing toward Bentley, fidgeting in his chair.
“Well, I don’t want to intrude in your personal business, but as your healthcare provider, I sug
gest you work things out, if at all possible—for your welfare and your baby’s.”
“I’ll do my best,” I said.
“I’m serious, Ireland. I’d like you to schedule an appointment again in another two weeks so we can see that it’s come down. If it hasn’t, I’ll have to put you on permanent bed rest. Now enough of the lecture, let’s get you prepped for your ultrasound. Are you ready to find out what you’re having?”
“Yes, I’ve been looking forward to this moment since I last saw the Little Bean,” I said with a smile.
“Little Bean?” Bentley questioned, as he got up from his seat and walked toward me.
“Yeah, when Dr. Rhoads did my first ultrasound, the baby was the size of a bean and the name kind of stuck. I’ve been calling it Little Bean ever since,” I shrugged.
Pulling my gown up above my belly, Dr. Rhoads squirted the cold gel on my bump. She placed the transducer on my skin and a fuzzy image immediately appeared.
“There’s your baby,” Dr. Rhoads said, pointing toward the screen to show Bentley. “It’s a little bigger than a bean now, Ireland.”
“What’s that whooshing sound,” Bentley asked with a look of adoration on his face. It was the first time I’d seen his smile in weeks and the sight made my heart begin to soar.
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat. It’s coming in strong and steady today at 145 beats per minute.”
“Is that normal. Is everything OK,” Bentley asked, with concern in his voice. “It’s been so long since my son was born. I forget the details.”
“Yes, everything is fine. Everything appears perfect, actually,” she said, smiling. “Would you like to know the gender now, or are you having one of those reveal parties that have become so popular these days? I can write it in an envelope for you if you’d prefer.”
“No, no party. You can just tell us now,” I answered.
“OK, well the fetus has actually given me a perfect view so I can say with one hundred percent certainty that you’re having a girl.”
“A baby girl,” I said, as tears formed in my eyes. In that moment, I felt my mom’s presence in the room. She would have loved a granddaughter and I know she would have spoiled her rotten.
“We’re having a little girl,” Bentley said, reaching to squeeze my hand. It was the first time he’d touched me since he’d learned the truth. I wasn’t going to assume that he’d forgiven me, but, in that moment, I was hopeful that things would be OK.
Bentley stayed in the room for a few minutes as I was dressing.
“Like I told you earlier, Ireland, I want nothing more than to be a father to our daughter. I’ve only seen her once, but I know I love her already,” Bentley said.
“You know you can always be a part of her life. She will always need her daddy,” I whispered.
“I want to be a part of your life, too, but I don’t know in what capacity,” he said. “The fact that you kept this secret from me for so long has really hurt. I’m not sure I can trust you again. But, I’m trying to understand.”
“Thank you,” I said, quietly. “I really am sorry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I really am sorry.”
Just then, Dr. Rhoads knocked and opened the door. She was carrying the orders for the glucose test and other various bloodwork.
“I just wanted to see that you got these. I also wanted to let you know about some upcoming birthing classes that the hospital will be offering on Saturdays starting in about three weeks. I hope that you both sign up. I think they’re very educational and informative sessions and I encourage all of my parents-to-be to take them.”
I called Katie the minute I’d left the doctor’s office. She must have been holding her phone in anticipation because she picked up on the first ring.
“So, am I having a niece or a nephew. Please tell me a niece because I bought the most adorable pink dresses and bows and Greg would murder me if I tried dressing Shawn in them,” she said, without even a hello.
“It’s a girl!” I shrieked into the phone.
“Ahhhhhhhhh,” she screamed. “Our babies really are going to get married!”
“Will you stop it with that! Our babies will probably end up hating each other.”
“Oh my god. You didn’t just say that! Take it back! Ireland Erin O’Brien, you take it back right now, or I’m ending this call.”
“OK, OK. I take it back. Our babies will love and adore one another and give us beautiful grandbabies someday,” I laughed.
“OK, you took that too far. My baby boy is never having sex.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I chuckled.
“So, did Bentley show up for the appointment?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding my head even though she couldn’t see.
“He really did? I bet that was super awkward. How did it go?”
I let out a long sigh before answering, “I mean I guess it went as well as could be expected. He wants to be a part of our daughter’s life, but he’s not sure he can ever trust me again. I think it’s really over between us.”
“You don’t know that, Ireland. He’ll come around.”
“I wish I could say you’re right, but I really don’t think so this time.”
As I was finishing up my morning paperwork, Katie barged into my office unannounced.
“I was in the area and I’m starving,” she said. “Want to go grab a bite to eat with me?”
“You know what a phone is, right?” I asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Because I really wish you would’ve used it. I’ve had a killer headache all morning and I’m trying to get my paperwork finished so I can go home for the rest of the day.”
Before I’d finished my rant, Katie spotted the almost-empty bottle of Tylenol on my desk.
“You should be careful with those,” she warned.
“Thank you, Mother—I know. Dr. Rhoads said they’d be OK to take. I’m not an idiot.”
“In moderation,” she shouted. “This bottle is practically empty. These aren’t candy, Ireland. This can’t be good for the baby.”
“I only took two today. Would you relax?
“Today? How often are you having these headaches?”
“Seems like recently, I’ve had one every day. I just figured it was a side effect from the pregnancy.”
“Have you told the doctor?”
“No, I have an appointment next week and was going to tell her then. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Didn’t you tell me that you were dizzy the other night, too?” she asked.
“Yeah, why? It just happened once. It’s not a big deal.”
“Ireland, if you don’t call Dr. Rhoads right now, then I will. This is more than nothing. And, it’s definitely a big deal. You shouldn’t be relying on Tylenol to get you through every day.”
“Fine,” I huffed, picking up my phone to dial the doctor.
Following the doctor’s orders, Katie took me directly to the ER. I was poked, prodded and hooked up to every monitor imaginable within a matter of minutes.
“I told you this was more than nothing,” Katie said, sternly.
“Fine. You’re right. I’m worried I should’ve called the doctor sooner. What if I hurt the baby?” I said with concern in my voice.
Just then, Dr. Rhoads came into the room.
“Ireland, I would say it’s good to see you. But, I don’t really enjoy seeing my patients under these circumstances,” she said, grabbing my chart from the door. “You did the right thing by calling me. Just as I feared, your blood pressure has spiked. It was 160/110 when you came in. I think I’m going to admit you for observation. I’m not comfortable sending you home while it’s still that high.”
“Is the baby OK?”
“The baby’s heart rate was strong and everything appears to check out. I’ll order an ultrasound once you get settled in your room.”
Once I’d gotten settled, I was completely worn out and exhausted. Katie said she’d go down to the cafeteria
for a bit while I tried to get some sleep. For nearly forty-five minutes I tried to fall asleep, but a hospital was hardly the best place to catch up on sleep. I laughed, thinking that my blood pressure would have a better chance of dropping if I’d checked into the Hilton.
I tried calling Bentley several times from the hospital, but he hadn’t picked up. Finally leaving a message, I explained the situation. I didn’t think he’d actually come up to see me so I was a bit surprised when I heard him talking to Katie out in the hallway.
“I don’t think you should go in there,” Katie said.
“Why not?” He asked, sounding exasperated.
“Because you’ll just upset her! Don’t you get it! You’re the reason she’s in here in the first place. She’s been so stressed out worrying about your relationship, or lack thereof, that she hasn’t been taking care of herself. She’s not eating. She’s not sleeping. She’s barely functioning,” Katie whisper-yelled.
“I think I need to talk to her,” he said desperately.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now, Bentley. Her doctor said she needs to remove all the stresses from her life before the baby’s born. She won’t be working for a few months now, either. I’ll tell her you were here. Just please go,” Katie begged.
I wasn’t initially happy at what Katie had done, but I understood why she did it. Talking with Bentley would only upset me further and that was the last thing I needed right now. After a few more hours of watching pointless, reality television, I finally drifted off to sleep.
After spending two days in the hospital, Dr. Rhoads allowed me to go home. I was ordered to stay on bed rest for at least a week, and wouldn’t be going back to work until after the baby was born. I was sure it wasn’t the stress of work causing my anxiety, but I wasn’t comfortable sharing the details of my personal life with my obstetrician so I agreed to it.
Trying to obey the doctor’s orders, I lay in bed catching up on the latest season of The Bachelor. Just then I received an unexpected text message. I stared at his name on the screen, hesitating for a moment before opening it. After all, I’d finally been able to get my anxiety and blood pressure under control and the last thing I needed was to wind up back in the hospital—especially when Dr. Rhoads had warned me that the next time might be for the duration of my pregnancy.
