That humiliating day at the courthouse had sickened her, especially when she finally understood that Bobby had spent all that money in a wasted attempt to prove to her father that he was good enough for Amanda. He’d given her a lifestyle they couldn’t afford and left her with debt she couldn’t manage.
Oddly enough, even now when she was still working the same two dead-end jobs—one at a lovely boutique, the other at a superstore, when she had to deny the children anything more than the basic necessities, she couldn’t hate Bobby. He’d made those misguided choices out of love for her and to counteract the sense of inadequacy her own father had instilled in him. No, she didn’t hate Bobby. It was her father she despised.
William Maxwell, known far and wide in South Carolina Low Country as the benevolent Big Max, had been anything but benevolent when it came to Bobby O’Leary. He’d seen him as a no-account loser from the day they’d met and made no pretenses about it. He’d had big plans for his only child and they didn’t include a blue-collar husband he believed would only hold her back. He’d done everything in his power to keep Bobby and Amanda apart, and when love had triumphed over his objections, he’d accused Amanda of squandering all the advantages he’d given her. He’d sent her packing with a warning never to look to him to save her from the mess she was making of her life.
Her father’s unstinting disapproval had been one of the hardest things Amanda had ever had to endure until she’d lost Bobby. She’d never known her mother, who’d died giving birth to her, so from the time she was a baby, she and her father had been inseparable. He’d doted on her, taken her everywhere. She’d grown up sitting quietly in the boardrooms of some of Charleston’s biggest companies, not coloring or reading as some children might have, but absorbing the atmosphere of power around her.
Given that, she supposed it wasn’t surprising that her father had held such high expectations for her. He’d anticipated her getting a business degree, then putting it to use and replacing him in many of those same boardrooms, maybe even getting into politics one day. He had the contacts, the will and the raw ambition to make it happen. There was no limit to what he thought she could accomplish. It didn’t seem to matter to him that she’d never shared that vision.
He certainly hadn’t expected her to throw his legacy back in his face by marrying a garage mechanic. It didn’t matter to him that Bobby thought big and already had the beginnings of a small chain of well-run auto shops in half-a-dozen communities too small to attract the national companies. What mattered to Big Max was the loss of Amanda’s potential to follow in his footsteps. He couldn’t conceive of her achieving anything by the side of a man with grease under his fingernails. Her lack of ambition had appalled him.
Remembering the fight they’d had on the morning of her wedding still brought tears to Amanda’s eyes. Her father had tried one last time to make her see reason and she’d tried harder to make him see Bobby in another light. In the end, it had all dissolved into bitter accusations and her father’s vow never to see her again. Amanda knew him well enough to take him at his word. Big Max was known throughout Charleston for his stubbornness and pride, a bad combination for any man, but especially for one who possessed a share of power to go with it.
If it hadn’t already been too late, she would have grabbed Bobby and eloped, but Bobby had spent a small fortune to make sure she had the wedding of her dreams, even if it was over her father’s vehement objections. Friends she’d grown up with had accepted the invitations. Most of her father’s friends had not.
Filled with her own stubborn Maxwell pride, even though her heart was aching, Amanda had gone to the church alone, walked down the aisle alone with her chin held high and her eyes glistening with tears. In front of the minister, she had clung to Bobby’s hand as if it were a lifeline.
Bobby knew her heart was broken, not just on her wedding day, but every day thereafter, and he’d done everything he could to mend it. He’d even gone to her father after their first child was born, taken pictures of Max’s new grandson, but her father’s heart hadn’t softened. He tore the pictures up in front of Bobby’s eyes and uttered words no grandfather should ever say about his own kin.
Looking back, Amanda realized that was when Bobby had started going overboard. He’d begun buying her things to make up for Big Max’s intractable attitude. It had become his obsession to see that she and the children wanted for nothing.
Since Bobby took care of their finances, Amanda hadn’t had any idea of the amount of debt they were accumulating. She should have paid attention to the mounting bills, questioned him more about their finances, but she hadn’t wanted to indicate in any way that she didn’t have total confidence in him. Maybe she should have reassured him more often that he and the kids were enough for her, that she didn’t need more things as proof of his ability as a provider, but she’d assumed he knew that. She took for granted that he knew how to manage money. He’d been smart enough to expand his business; surely he could balance their personal checkbook. And basically he had, but only by mortgaging their lives to the hilt.
If only Bobby had known what fate had in store, he might have made better choices. Instead, they’d lost it all. Worst of all, she’d lost Bobby.
Now, though, she and the children had a second chance, Amanda thought, feeling at peace for the first time since Bobby’s death. With the soft afternoon sunlight spilling over her, she smiled. This room would fit into the pantry at Big Max’s house. She had little doubt what he would think of it. He would treat it with the same disdain he had shown when she’d made a desperate attempt to reach out to him after Bobby’s death had left her virtually penniless. She’d made that attempt only for the sake of her children, but being rebuffed once more had convinced her that the father she’d once adored was now only a bitter old man incapable of compassion.
“Doesn’t matter what he thinks or what he does,” she told herself fiercely. “My kids are healthy and this house is mine. We’re getting back on our feet and that’s what counts.”
And if Big Max couldn’t see that all his wealth, all his power didn’t amount to a hill of beans without love, so what? Amanda had long since stopped caring what her father thought or how empty his life had become. She’d stopped because he’d given her no choice. If she hadn’t, she might never have stopped crying.
“They’ve moved in?” Big Max asked Caleb when the minister finally turned up for their regular game of cards. For once Max didn’t waste his breath complaining. He was too anxious to hear how things had gone with Amanda and the kids when she’d moved into her new house the day before.
Max and Caleb were an odd pair—the heathen and the man of the Lord, as Max liked to say. Maybe he was more worried about his immortal soul than he’d ever realized. He couldn’t see any other reason for having gravitated to this man whose unwavering faith Max couldn’t share. He’d lost his belief in God when he’d lost his wife, leaving him all alone to raise Amanda. For a man who’d never understood a thing about women, it had been a terrifying burden.
Yet, from the moment he’d gazed down into Amanda’s trusting blue eyes, felt her tiny fist close around his finger, he’d been totally smitten. That girl of his had filled his heart with so much joy, it had dulled the pain of losing his beloved wife.
Severing all ties with Amanda when she’d chosen to defy him and marry that no-account Bobby O’Leary had just about ripped his heart out. He’d taken what he’d considered to be a calculated risk that day and he’d lost. The memory of it haunted him.
Stubborn pride had kept him from reaching out to mend fences. When Bobby had tried, Max had turned him away, embarrassed and shamed to have the boy attempt what he should have been man enough to do himself. When Amanda herself had come to him after Bobby’s death, he’d been too quick to say hurtful, judgmental things guaranteed to turn her away. He’d lost a lot of sleep over the years knowing he was a damn fool and the price he’d paid for it.
“If you’re this curious about Amanda, why don
’t you go and see for yourself?” Caleb asked. “Don’t you think this feud has gone on long enough? You love your daughter, Max. You need to get to know your grandchildren. You’ve lost too many years already. Don’t lose any more. Don’t wait until it’s too late.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Max snapped. “I’ve had more than one chance and I blew it. The girl hates me, and who can blame her?” He looked away. “Besides, if she ever found out…”
“Found out what?” Caleb prodded.
“Nothing. I don’t want to get into it.”
“Get into what? Don’t you know by now you can tell me anything and I won’t judge you?”
“You’re a real saint, all right,” Max said snidely, hoping to tick him off.
Caleb didn’t react. He just sat there with the patient expression that made Max nuts.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, it was a slip of the tongue, that’s all,” Max grumbled.
“I doubt that,” Caleb said.
“Look, all I’m saying is it’s too late for Amanda and me.”
“It’s not too late until you’re in your grave,” Caleb retorted.
Maybe that was what Max liked about this young man. He didn’t wilt under Max’s scorn, didn’t turn away when pushed to do just that. Caleb was a man with staying power. Max admired that, even if he didn’t know how any man could devote himself to God’s work when there was evidence all around that God wasn’t paying a damn bit of attention to what was happening down here on earth.
“You gonna pray over me when I’m gone?” Max asked, taunting him.
Caleb grinned. “I pray for you every night as it is. If you weren’t so ornery, I think maybe my prayers would have a better outcome.”
Max regarded him with surprise. “I never asked you to pray for me.”
“You didn’t need to. It’s what I do. I see a need and I jump in.”
“Well, you’re wasting your breath,” Max replied irritably.
“It’s mine to waste,” Caleb responded. “Besides, I think one of these days even someone as cantankerous as you will wake up and admit he’s made a dreadful mistake and reach out to the one person on earth he cares about. In fact, you and I know you’ve already done that in a way. The only one who doesn’t know and should is Amanda.”
Max scowled at him. “You tell her I bought that land her new house is sitting on and she’ll move out by morning,” he said with absolute conviction. “That girl got my stubbornness and doubled it.”
“Maybe,” Caleb said. “But maybe she’d see it as a gesture that’s been too long coming.”
“Stay out of it, Caleb. You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” He frowned at the pastor. “And don’t go dropping any hints to her, either. You and I made a deal. She’s never to know about me buying that land. You spill the beans to her and I will see your sorry butt in hell.”
Caleb’s steady gaze never wavered. “You don’t scare me, Max. Don’t you know that by now?”
Max was flustered by the amusement in Caleb’s voice. Most men in Charleston would have been quaking in their boots. Most men understood that he never made idle threats.
“Well, I should terrify you,” he said testily. “Now, are we going to play cards or are we going to sit around here all night gabbing like a couple of old women?”
“Bring it on, old man.” After he’d dealt the cards, Caleb pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and smoothed it out. “Let’s see here. You already owe me $7,403.62.”
Max chuckled at the precise accounting. “Just think what kind of stained-glass window you could have bought for the church by now if we played for more than small change.”
“And isn’t it lucky for you that I don’t approve of gambling except for a worthy cause?” Caleb retorted. “The stained-glass windows can wait. This money will come in handy at the church’s food bank. I think when we get to a nice round ten thousand, I’ll ask you to cut me a check.”
Max looked at the hand he’d been dealt and muttered an oath. “Sure as hell looks like I’m about to make another contribution tonight.”
Caleb laughed. “Who’re you kidding, old man? It looks that way every time we play.”
“True,” Max conceded. It was a small-enough price to pay, though, for some decent company. Add that Caleb kept him abreast of what was going on with Amanda without gloating about it, and Max was perfectly content to lose a few dollars once a week. Hell, he’d give up his entire fortune for the chance to go back in time and do things differently. So many things. Some that only a small handful of people knew anything about.
Since going back wasn’t possible, he’d have to make do with the way things were.
2
Amanda was rushing to get out the door at the boutique where she worked when Maggie Parker halted her exit.
“Hey, where’s the fire?” Maggie asked. “I came to see if you and the kids would like to have dinner with me tonight. Josh had to run over to Atlanta to take a look at that historic renovation project he and Cord are starting next month.”
Amanda regarded Maggie with surprise. Though she’d been a bridesmaid in Maggie’s wedding to Josh, she’d always thought Maggie had made the gesture to appease Josh. While Maggie had never been outright rude to her, the wedding was just about the only occasion she had been openly friendly. Maybe now that she and Josh were married, she was putting aside the irrational jealousy she’d once felt toward Amanda and turning over a new leaf. Still, Amanda couldn’t help being skeptical.
“You want to have dinner with us?” Amanda said. “Me and the kids?”
Maggie shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”
“Maybe because a part of you still wonders if there wasn’t something going on between me and Josh,” Amanda said candidly. “I know it bothered you that there was a bond between us when he was in charge of the crew building my house.”
Maggie winced. “Okay, I acted like an idiot. I took my insecurities out on you.”
Amanda grinned at the admission. “Yes, you did, especially since Josh could barely untangle his tongue whenever you were around.”
“I guess I missed that, at least at first,” Maggie conceded. “I swear to you I’m over it. Come on, Amanda. I know you’re not the type to hold a grudge.”
“Not usually,” Amanda agreed. “Something tells me, though, that this was Josh’s idea, not yours.”
“It most certainly was not,” Maggie declared with a pretty good show of indignation, then sighed. “Okay, maybe it was, but he’s right. It’s past time for me to get over that ridiculous jealousy, especially now that he and I are married. I really do want us to be friends, Amanda. You and the kids mean a lot to Josh and to his mother. We’re bound to be thrown together from time to time. Can’t we get past my bad behavior?”
Amanda could see her obvious discomfort. Maggie Parker was the most self-confident woman Amanda had ever met, with the possible exception of Maggie’s best friend, Dinah Beaufort. Amanda envied them, and she was still a little astounded that Maggie had thought even for a second that Josh was interested in her, not Maggie.
“I’d like that,” Amanda told her sincerely. Real friends had been in short supply since her marriage to Bobby. And since his death, there hadn’t been time to make new ones. “But I can’t tonight. I have to get home.”
“The kids are invited, too,” Maggie reminded her.
“I know, but actually I already have plans. Caleb’s coming by.”
Maggie’s expression immediately brightened with curiosity. “Really? Do tell,” she said.
Amanda shook her head. “Stop that. It’s not what you think.”
At the quick denial, Maggie grinned. “Then, please, tell me what it is.”
“He wants me to talk to someone. He thinks I might be able to offer a perspective that he can’t. That’s it.”
Maggie regarded her with blatant skepticism. “So, this seasoned minister who’s counseled who knows how many people about every problem un
der the sun is turning to you?”
Amanda frowned at the hint of amused disbelief in Maggie’s voice. “In this particular situation, apparently I’m the one with firsthand experience,” she said.
“Of course you are. And Caleb’s sudden recognition of your expertise doesn’t have anything at all to do with the fact that he has the hots for you?” Maggie inquired.
Immediately Amanda’s cheeks flooded with color. “Maggie!” she protested weakly. “You can’t say things like that. Caleb’s a minister.”
“I know. I worried about the same thing when Dinah pointed out that Caleb practically salivates when you’re nearby, but then I caught on that he’s a man, not a saint. It’s not as if either one of you is off-limits in any way. The only shocker is that in his seven years here in Charleston some woman hasn’t already snapped him up.”
Amanda had had similar thoughts from time to time. Aside from being gorgeous, Caleb was the kindest, most decent man she’d ever known. It didn’t make sense that he wasn’t married. She, however, wasn’t the woman to change that. She was just beginning to get back on her feet emotionally. She needed time to prove to herself that she was strong and capable. She was not about to let some man promise to bail her out, only to have him abandon her. She’d learned to prize her independence. If her life ever fell apart again, it would be her own doing, not someone else’s.
“That woman won’t be me,” she told Maggie emphatically.
“Then you don’t see what a catch he is?” Maggie asked skeptically.
“Of course I do.”
“Well, then?”
“I’m not looking for a catch, even one as terrific as Caleb,” Amanda insisted. “Now, I really do have to go.”
Waking Up in Charleston Page 2
