*
CORINNE FINALLY got home a little past eight. The Bell Tech people had just signed an extension of their contract, and they’d insisted on taking her and Gerald out for drinks to celebrate. Gerald hadn’t been in the most celebratory mood—he still despised the Bell Tech executives—but he’d behaved himself, downed a gin and tonic and made small talk. Corinne had nursed a glass of Merlot which had ultimately given her a headache, one of those tight throbbing circles at the center of her forehead.
Rather than returning to her office, she’d headed for her apartment, stopping to pick up a tray of sashimi at the take-out Japanese restaurant around the corner from her building. She rode up the elevator, her purse slung over her left shoulder, her foil-wrapped dinner in her right hand, her key and her mail in her left hand and right foot sliding out of her low-heeled leather pump and then back into it as the elevator slid to a halt at her floor. She strolled down the hall to her apartment, juggled the mail and the tray while unlocking the door, and stepped inside. Letting out a deep sigh, she kicked off her shoes, set down the tray in her closet-size kitchen, and moved to the bathroom to pop some aspirin.
Only two more days and she’d be up in Arlington—a thought that worked on her headache more effectively than the pain-killing tablets she washed down her throat with a glass of water. Only two more days and she’d be with Levi and D.J. in a world both peaceful and full of activity, a world where she didn’t have to wear business shoes and ride elevators and make nice to clients her boss couldn’t stand. A world where she could sleep in Levi’s arms and wake up to the cheerful clamor of D.J. just down the hall, announcing that he was ready for the day to begin.
She stripped out of her suit, wrapped a soft cotton robe around her and padded barefoot to the kitchen. While she ate her sashimi, she thumbed through the newspaper—a morning paper, all its news was out of date by now, but she needed something to occupy her mind and the television would only exacerbate her headache. The silence of her apartment helped to dull the drumming inside her skull. But it also reminded her of how alone she was.
Only for two more days. Then she’d be with the Holts. Man, woman and child, just like a real family.
She couldn’t believe this had become her new dream. At one time she’d adored the silence, the lack of interference by people she might or might not be related to tomorrow, the spats and tantrums and tear-fests her parents and their spouses and her assorted step-siblings indulged in. She’d loved not being dependent on anyone but herself for her own happiness.
But now, her greatest happiness came from Levi and D.J. She loved the noise, the bustle, the sound of her own voice lilting in a lullaby.
By the time she was done eating, the silence of her apartment was actually annoying her.
She wandered to her bedroom, stretched out on the bed, and lifted the cordless handset of her phone. She had programmed Levi’s number into the machine, but even if she hadn’t, she knew it by heart.
He answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hi, Levi—it’s me.”
“Corinne.” There was a long pause. “I thought you were going to call on my cell phone.”
She frowned. “Was I supposed to?”
“It doesn’t matter. I left you a message at your office to call me on the cell phone.”
“I’m sorry, Levi. I didn’t get it. What’s up?”
“I can’t talk now.”
His voice, she realized, sounded crisp and cool. Not exactly as if something was wrong, but not as if everything was right, either. “What happened?” she asked, then felt a sharp clutch in the vicinity of her heart. “Did something happen to D.J.?”
“As a matter of fact…” He sighed. “I really can’t talk right now, okay?”
“What?” Panic rippled through her in icy waves. “What happened? Is he all right?”
“He’s fine,” Levi said, still in that frosty voice. “I have a guest right now.”
“Who?”
“D.J.’s father.”
Chapter Fifteen
HOME FELT DIFFERENT with the new man in it. D.J. didn’t know who the man was, or why the man kept staring at him. The man’s hands weren’t as big as Levi’s. They were smoother, too—not like a woman’s hands, but softer than Levi’s.
He wanted the new man to leave, and he wanted the woman to come back. When she was gone he missed her so badly it was like a hunger in his belly. Levi could hold him and feed him and do all kinds of things for him, but he never sang hush-little-baby. Only the woman did that.
Maybe the new man would sing to him. But D.J. didn’t expect it. The man seemed too shy, too frightened. He only watched.
*
SHE EMERGED from the train Friday afternoon. Her nerves were pulled taut and her heart kept thumping unevenly. Usually, the hour-and-a-half train from Manhattan was a time for her to unwind, exhale, let the week’s tension seep from her, emptying her so she could fill up with Levi and D.J. But this time, she didn’t unwind and exhale. The closer the train pulled to Arlington, the more anxious she grew.
She couldn’t believe D.J.’s father had just materialized in Arlington eight months after his son’s birth. What Levi had told her made a certain kind of sense: “You can’t blame him for not showing up sooner. Ruth never told him she was pregnant. They’d both agreed that their affair wasn’t going to lead to love and marriage. Ruth had been fine with that. She wanted the baby and she didn’t want Travis, so she never told him. It’s not his fault.”
“Maybe not,” Corinne had conceded, “but still, after all this time… To just show up at your office and say, ‘Hi, I’m D.J.’s father.’ What gives him that right?”
“His genes. His sperm. He is D.J.’s father, Corinne.”
“A father isn’t just genes and sperm,” she’d argued, as if she were some sort of expert, as if she were the product of an ideal upbringing in which her parents fulfilled their roles with utter mastery. “A father is someone who burps a baby and feeds him and walks the halls with him in the middle of the night. You’re D.J.’s father as much as this—this Travis person is.”
“Who’s to say Travis wouldn’t have been burping D.J. and feeding him and walking the halls with him if he’d known D.J. existed?”
“Maybe he would have, and maybe not. The thing is, you did.”
“And the other thing is, Ruth named him after Travis. His name is Travis Justice, Corinne. She named her son Damien Justice. She was acknowledging D.J.’s father, admitting that the guy existed, that he was an important part of the situation.”
“Important enough for a name. Not important enough to walk the halls with him at night.”
Levi had sighed. “Look, Corinne, Travis is a nice guy and he’s trying hard to do the right thing, which—given the fact that Ruth denied him some essential information—is pretty noble. He’d be within his rights to turn his back on D.J., to pretend he’d never learned he had a son. Ruth shut him out, so why not? But instead, he tracked me down and traveled all the way here from Los Angeles to meet me and see his baby. He’s putting some effort into this.”
“He’s still in Arlington?”
“He’s planning to stay a while. You can meet him this weekend if you want.”
Corinne didn’t want to meet Travis Justice. She knew she wasn’t being fair to him, knew everything Levi said in the man’s defense was true—but she didn’t want to meet this stranger who claimed that his ties to D.J. were as significant as Levi’s.
But there she was, bracing herself as the train rolled into the Arlington station, the wheels squealing against the rails and the car shuddering to a halt. She pulled her bag from the overhead rack and squared her shoulders, determined to make the best of a difficult situation. She would be with her two favorite guys; everything would be okay.
Out on the platform, she scoured the milling throngs in search of Levi and D.J. Levi was easy to spot, towering over most of the other people. He was alone, though. D.J. wasn’t on his shoulder or se
ated in his stroller beside his uncle’s long legs. As thrilled as she was to see Levi, his now familiar smile, his thick, windswept hair and his dark, soulful eyes, she felt a small but real stab of disappointment that D.J. wasn’t with him.
No, not disappointment. Fear. Dread.
Forcing a smile, she wove through the crowd to him and accepted his hug. He brushed her mouth with hers in a light kiss, a promise of what awaited them later that night. Usually, his simple kiss of greeting was enough to send an erotic thrill through her. Not this time, though. Not when she didn’t know where D.J. was or what was happening to him.
She wanted to ask Levi how D.J. was, but thought the first words out of her mouth shouldn’t be about him. So she said nothing, only swallowed her panic and nodded her thanks when Levi took her bag from her. He laced his fingers through hers as they left the platform for the parking lot. His hand felt so hot against hers—and she realized that was because her hand was icy.
She risked a glance over her shoulder as Levi helped her into the passenger seat of the Porsche. D.J.’s car seat wasn’t strapped to the upholstery the way it usually was. She tried not to cringe, but by the time Levi settled behind the wheel, her cheeks were cramped from her false smile and her heart was aching from all the possible explanations for that missing car seat.
She couldn’t hold back any longer. “Where’s D.J.?” she asked.
Levi inserted the key into the ignition but didn’t start the car. Instead, he twisted to look at her. “He’s with his father.”
“Where? At your house?”
“Travis has a room at the Arlington Inn. He asked to take D.J. for a couple of hours today. We can swing by there and pick him up on our way home, okay?”
“Okay.” Her smile at this answer was genuine, accompanied by a flash of tears. D.J. was only visiting with his father. He’d be coming home with her and Levi. Home for him was Levi’s house, not a room at the Arlington Inn with a someone he didn’t even know.
Levi touched the key but didn’t turn it. His gaze remained on Corinne, searching, questioning. “I know this whole thing is strange,” he conceded. “But everything in D.J.’s life has been strange. His mother dying so young was tragic—but also strange. My getting custody of him was strange. That his father tracked me down shows the kind of man he is. I think D.J. is lucky to have his father in his life.”
His tone was casual, but she heard chiding in it. He was lecturing her. He knew she was upset, and he was telling her she ought to be reasonable.
And he was right. D.J. was her lover’s nephew, period. He was a usually sweet, occasionally crabby baby who’d lost his mother and taken up residence with Levi. His father certainly had a more legitimate claim on D.J. than she did. Where the baby was, and with whom, was not her business. Her anxiety was completely unreasonable.
But the pain in her chest swelled, devouring her from the inside. She didn’t want D.J. to be anywhere but with her and Levi, seated in his car seat, kicking his feet and chattering incoherently. Maybe she had no rights, but she had feelings, longings, love for that wonderful little boy.
Levi had taught her the meaning of home, of love, of trusting in both. But D.J. had taught her the beauty of lullabies.
After a long silence, Levi revved the engine and pulled out of his parking space. “You’re quiet,” he commented.
“I know.”
“Travis and I are feeling our way through this thing. I’m not saying any of it is easy. Bringing D.J. home with me three months ago wasn’t easy, either. But it’s all going to work out all right.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because Travis and I both have D.J.’s best interests at heart.”
She couldn’t refute that. Levi would do what he believed was best for D.J., and she had no reason to doubt that D.J.’s father did, too.
Still, the car seemed woefully empty without D.J. in it. Her arrival in Arlington seemed empty. She had yet to wrap her arms around D.J., inhale his baby scent, feel his damp breath on her cheek and his hands patting her hair. Until she saw him, her heart would feel a bit empty, too.
When she’d first taken a room at the Arlington Inn last June, she’d thought it a welcoming building, its colonial architecture charming and its broad windows beckoning. Now, in the hazy heat of an August evening, the sprawling clapboard inn looked forbidding to her, cold and aloof. She knew she was letting her emotions distort her perspective, but she couldn’t help herself.
After parking in the front lot, Levi ushered her inside. He gave Travis’s name to the desk clerk, who phoned his room. No one answered.
Oh, God. What if Travis Justice had absconded with D.J.? What if Levi had been a fool to trust him? What if he was a kidnapper, or worse?
What if Corinne never saw D.J. again?
She felt only a little foolish when, across the lobby, one of the French doors leading out to the pool swung open and a man carrying D.J. entered. The man had expertly groomed hair and a sharp, almost pretty face, with hollow cheeks and a long, narrow nose. His apparel was sleek and elegantly casual, and he looked only slightly awkward holding D.J., who was squirming and mumbling, attempting to face forward so he could see where they were going. One lunge brought his head around enough to spot Corinne, and he let out a cry and squirmed even harder.
Without stopping to think, she raced across the lobby, her arms outstretched. “D.J.! Hello, my sweetie! I missed you at the station!”
She was scarcely aware of Levi and the father exchanging a look as she eased D.J. out of the man’s arms and into her own. He nuzzled her neck and she kissed his hair. He let loose with a wondrous assortment of syllables and giggles. His bare feet left wet spots on her shirt.
“I dipped his feet in the pool,” the man said, more to Levi than to her. “It was hot and I thought he might like that.”
“Did he?” Levi asked, sounding genuinely curious.
Corinne wanted to knock their heads together. What had the man been thinking, to dangle a baby over a pool? What if he’d sneezed and lost his grip? D.J. could have fallen into the pool! Or if the water had been cold, he might have been chilled. How could this so-called father have done such a boneheaded thing?
And why wasn’t Levi scolding him for it?
“Hey, buddy,” Levi addressed D.J. “Did you like the pool?”
D.J. answered with happy gibberish.
“I’ve been wondering about when to take him into a pool,” Levi said. “I asked the Daddy School teacher, and she said he could go into a pool anytime, as long as a grown-up held him the whole time. She said those baby swim classes weren’t a good idea, but he could be taken into a pool if he enjoyed it. Some kids do, some don’t.”
“I think he did.” The man sounded modest, uncertain in a way that would have been endearing if Corinne had been disposed to think kindly of him.
Belatedly, Levi introduced them. “Corinne, this is D.J.’s father, Travis Justice. Travis, this is my friend Corinne Lanier.”
“I’m D.J.’s friend, too,” she said before planting a kiss on the crown of D.J.’s head.
“Well, yeah, I can see that.” Travis held out his right hand, and Corinne shifted D.J. into the curve of her left arm so she could shake hands with the man. D.J. rested heavily on her elbow. He’d grown so much in just the couple of months she’d known him. All those mashed bananas and boiled carrots, all those bottles of formula… He must weigh close to twenty pounds by now. Corinne would have to ask Levi.
“Listen, Travis,” Levi said, “we’re going to take off. Corinne just had a long train ride. I know she’d like to go home and freshen up.” Corinne hid her smile. The train ride hadn’t been that long. Levi was just eager to get her and D.J. away from the father and take them home. She appreciated his tact—and his sensitivity to her. He knew she didn’t want to hang around in the lobby of the Arlington Inn, making small talk with Travis Justice.
“Okay,” Travis said. “So, I’ll be by tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
/>
If she’d been inclined to smile before, that last exchange doused her happiness. Why was Travis going to be by tomorrow? She was here for the weekend. She ought to be allowed to enjoy a couple of days with D.J. and Levi, without the intrusion of some West Coast interloper.
“I need the car seat,” Levi added.
“Oh, yeah—I’ve got it in my car.”
His car? He’d been driving with D.J.? He could have kidnapped the child if he’d wanted.
But maybe he didn’t want to. Maybe he wanted to visit with his son and then go home. And Levi, being the kind of man he was, would allow him to enjoy that visit without interference.
They all trooped through the hotel’s front door together. Corinne walked straight to Levi’s car with D.J. while the men crossed the parking lot to another car. The asphalt felt sticky beneath her shoes, and the evening air was thick and muggy. D.J. rested his head in the crook of her neck and murmured something unintelligible.
“I know,” she agreed, just to make him feel better. “They’re getting your car seat and then we’ll go home.”
“Oh-oh.”
“That’s right. Home.”
Levi strode across the lot, carrying D.J.’s car seat and tossing a quick wave to Travis, who veered back to the hotel’s front door. Deftly juggling both the seat and his keys, he managed to unlock the car, shove forward the passenger seat, and wedge D.J.’s seat into place behind it. D.J. let out a rousing hoot. He loved riding in the car.
Reaching around, Levi took D.J. from Corinne and eased him into his seat. Then he unfolded himself from the cramped space of the car and straightened up in front of her. His eyes searched her face, and for one moment she forgot about D.J., forgot about his father and his car seat and the steamy August evening settling around them. All she could think of was Levi, so steady, so capable. So secure. So unlike the people she’d grown up among, her loved ones, on whom she could never depend.
She could depend on Levi. For her, that was an arousing notion—a man who could love her, who could ignite a fire inside her with his touches, his kisses—and could still be there the next morning, the next day, the next week. His steadiness, his serenity, his confidence turned her on in a way even his kisses couldn’t.
Hush, Little Baby Page 22
