As if I care about the crown.
He rolled his eyes, likely reading my mind. “You know what I mean, Moira. You would lose your family if you walked away from your…obligations. They’re all you have left.” He didn’t have to say it for me to understand that he had meant now that I didn’t have Daniel.
“Do you have family?”
The change in topic seemed to puzzle him for a moment, but thankfully, he didn’t protest. “My dad is still alive, but we don’t really see each other much. As soon as I finished high school, he started dating this woman, and a couple of months later, he moved to the other side of the country to be with her.”
“You only have your father? No one else?”
Ryan dug his head into the pillow further and stared at the ceiling. “No, my grandmother is still alive. And my dad’s two sisters—and their families—are around, but again, they don’t live anywhere near me.”
“I understand why you’re putting such importance on my relationship with my family—because you don’t have that. But that doesn’t mean it’s somehow more important than the relationship we could have.”
He pushed up until he sat with his back against the headboard. In order to be at his level, I pressed my hand against the mattress and used my arm to keep me upright. And suddenly, this seemed more serious than I had intended for it to be.
With my free hand in his, he held my gaze and said, “It’s not only that, Moira. We have so many roadblocks between us that I just don’t see how we can be together, no matter how badly we both want it.”
“I would like to think of them as hurdles, not roadblocks.”
His smile seemed sad, which practically broke my heart. “I’m still legally married to my wife. Unless that changes, we’d never be able to be together. And if it changes, that means I’d lose my daughter. I’m sorry, but I don’t have any plans to file for divorce. Ever.”
I completely understood that. So why did it hurt so much to hear?
“And what about your country, Moira? Who will take over if you walk away?”
“Let me worry about that.”
His chest appeared to deflate when he sighed. “Don’t you think that’s something we should discuss before making any decision regarding our future?”
Wrapping the sheet around my shoulders, I sat up all the way and held a pillow to my front. He had seen all of me, but right now, I felt too exposed and needed a shield. “I am so tired of being told what I need to do and who I need to be. If one more person tries to decide my life for me, I’m going to lose it.”
That seemed to get his undivided attention. He turned to completely face me and leaned forward. With his hands on my knees and his eyes on mine, he said, “That’s not what I was trying to do. I swear. But I get it, so let’s discuss it.”
Now that I finally had a chance to express my own desires, hopes, and wants, it was like I had gone mute. My thoughts were all over the place, my mind unable to settle on one thing. So to clear my head, I closed my eyes and pictured my best life.
“I don’t want to be here.” I opened my eyes and found him staring at me, as if he were witnessing the images in my mind. “You wouldn’t have to give up Amara, because I don’t want you to move here. I can come to you.”
“We’d still have the problem of my marriage. In order for you to move to the States, you’ll have to get a visa. As long as I’m legally married to someone else, I can’t bring you over on a fiancé or spousal visa. And without some super impressive skill that is needed, you can’t get a work visa. Coming over as a student would only be temporary—unless you plan on staying illegally. There’s always the option of buying your way in…but that’s a lot of money, Moira.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but as I ran through his monologue in my head, I stopped to switch the direction of my thought process. “How do you know so much about the United States’ immigration visas?”
He pursed his lips and lifted his gaze over my head. It was a cat who caught the canary expression if I’d ever seen one. “Well, that’s maybe because I might’ve possibly, in passing, very briefly glanced over the options today while I waited for you to return my text.”
To my surprise, that filled my heart so full that I almost couldn’t handle it. To keep him from seeing the emotion that blurred my sight, I dropped my face into the pillow that I held against my chest. And while I was there, I laughed.
“Why is that so funny?” he asked with humor in his tone as well.
“Because, Ryan…” I lifted my head and returned the smile he offered me. “Two seconds ago, you were telling me how it’s impossible for us to be together; meanwhile, you have already checked into ways for me to move to the States.”
“Well, yeah.” The duh was implied in his tone. “I was curious if it would even be possible, which is how I know it’s not. I’m not trying to tell you what you can and can’t do because I want to control you or think I know what’s best for you. It’s because I’ve looked into it.”
I raised one brow at him, silently returning his duh, spread my arms, and declared, “I am a freaking princess, sunshine!”
His eyes squinted as he laughed at me.
“In all seriousness, though…did you give any thought to the fact that I am a princess of an entire country? If I want to move to the United States, I will. And they will welcome me with open arms. Money or no money, visa or no visa…if I want in, they will let me in.”
He shrugged with a small grin still tugging at the corners of his mouth. “No, I hadn’t thought of that. But okay, that takes care of that part of our dilemma. Now, what about the fate of Ilunabarra?”
“I have no idea, Ryan. It’s not like I don’t have options, though. If it’s not me, it will be someone else. The monarchy didn’t die when there weren’t any legitimate Coldwell males who were willing to take the throne. They were able to find a solution for that, so they can find one for this, too. I still have cousins—and now that females are allowed to rule, the elders will have their pick of a Queen.”
“So that’s it?” He studied me with narrowed eyes and deep creases between his brows. “You’re leaving with me the day after tomorrow? How does this all work, and when does it all take place?”
I cupped his cheek, feeling the harshness of his stubble against my palm. “Obviously, there are things I will have to do here before I can come to the States. But with my father’s timeline for when he wants to hand over the reins, it won’t be long. I’ll have to act fast, because once I am on the throne, it will be infinitely harder to walk away.”
“Are we really going to do this?” He didn’t appear scared or worried at all. If anything, he seemed almost excited. “Me and you? We’re going to actually attempt to make this work between us?”
Shoving the pillow away, I climbed onto his lap, my knees on either side of his hips, and with his face between my hands, I whispered against his lips, “Yes, we are really doing this.” I pressed my lips to his, and within seconds, his tongue massaged mine.
We were in our own little bubble, enjoying the high we were on, oblivious to anything around us. Unfortunately, that also meant we were deaf to the front door opening, as well as the footfalls that would have gotten louder the closer they came to the bedroom.
The only thing that alerted us to the presence of someone in the doorway was the harsh and grumbly clearing of someone’s throat. Which, as it turned out, was Andrew. His crimson face, heavily furrowed brow, and tightly pursed lips said it all.
He. Was. Furious.
And I was naked.
I quickly moved to cover myself with the sheet, shielding Ryan in the process. But it was too late. There wasn’t anything I could do or say to save us now. We had been caught, and there was no doubt in my mind that Andrew planned to take me home. To face my parents.
Unfortunately, there was no glass slipper to leave behind.
So instead, I left Ryan my heart.
Chapter 12
Ryan
Out of Moira’s entire security team, I was most afraid of Andrew.
They were all large men who were no strangers to the gym, but Andrew had the face of a killer. He just looked angry. All the time, too—not only when he’d walked in on Moira and me in bed.
“Do you have any idea what you have just done?” His deep voice was like a building collapsing on itself—the rumble of destruction reverberating through his entire body. “Do you know the kind of damage you have caused?”
I wasn’t dumb enough to respond. So while he stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, I hurriedly pulled my clothes back on, not once looking directly at him. Meanwhile, I berated myself the entire time. For Christ’s sake, I was a grown man, and Moira was an adult herself. Yet this felt worse than being caught sneaking in after curfew as a young teen.
By the time I finished getting dressed, Moira was long gone. The other guy—Patrick, I believed was his name—escorted her out while leaving Andrew behind to deal with me. She’d left without a word, only a desolate glance over her shoulder on her way out of the room.
“Is this a game to you, son?” His booming voice made it sound like he stood behind me, when I knew he was at least ten feet away.
As soon as I had my shoes on my feet, I stood and turned to face him, my shoulders pulled back in the hopes I didn’t appear intimidated by him. The second I showed any ounce of fear, he’d win. So, with my spine ramrod straight, I stared him down. “No, it’s not a game.”
It didn’t seem like Andrew was expecting that from me, because it took him several seconds to respond. “This stunt you pulled could cost the monarchy more than you’re worth. Speak of this to anyone, and they will be the last words you utter. Do you understand me?”
That was more than likely a scare tactic to keep me silent, yet I didn’t care to test that theory. Ordinarily, I would have challenged a threat like that, regardless of how scary someone looked. But I knew that would be the quickest way to end any chance I had of ever seeing Moira again, so I bit my tongue.
I considered him for a moment, and I knew that whatever I said next, I may as well have been saying to the king himself. There was no chance that this man would keep any secret that may harm the family. I had to be honest and hope for the best. “You don’t have to worry about me saying anything to anyone. Like I said, this isn’t a game to me. It’s not for Moira, either. And any damage it might cause was completely unintentional on both accounts.”
Without another word, Andrew escorted me into the elevator. Instead of parting ways on my floor, he stepped off behind me. And then he followed me down the hall. If he were anyone else, I would’ve gone to a different door to keep him from knowing which room I was in. But this was Moira’s security guard, meaning he more than likely already knew which door was mine.
“Pack your bags, get on the plane, and don’t ever look back.”
Everything in me wanted to fight. I wanted to stand tall and defend not only myself but Moira as well. They didn’t know what we had, the type of relationship we shared, so no one had the right to forbid us from being together. However, Moira wasn’t any ordinary woman. She had to play by a different set of rules. So regardless of how much I wanted to tell him to mind his own business, I had to remind myself that Moira was his business.
Instead of protesting, I kept my head down and nodded.
Luckily, Andrew didn’t follow me inside. I couldn’t tell for sure if he’d left the hallway, but at least he wasn’t in my face any longer. He wasn’t here to prevent me from reaching out to Moira. The thought of her being hurt or scared gutted me.
I pulled out my phone and quickly typed out a text, simply asking if she was okay. The thought of her being anything else nearly suffocated me, so I closed my eyes and imagined her smile. The smile she gave me as she lay beneath me, or when she had curled up next to me with her head on my chest. I recalled the smell of her hair and the softness of her skin.
Being with Moira was my best life.
After several minutes, I checked my phone to see if she’d received the text, but when I pulled up the messages, I noticed it’d gone unread. So I sent another, wondering if maybe she’d missed the first alert. And still, the second text was delivered but unread.
The fear that burned in my chest began to fester and grow roots. The only thing I could think of was that she didn’t want to read or respond to her messages while in anyone’s presence. She was the one dealing with the fallout of our experience together. I wished I could be there to help her.
I tossed my cell onto the coffee table and fell into one of the couch cushions. With my head in my hands, I thought about how this had happened, how it could’ve gone differently, how I’d be able to fix it for her. Unfortunately, every avenue led to the same conclusion—I’m not a time traveler, and this couldn’t be fixed.
The worst part was that I hadn’t met with Moira to do anything other than talk. I’d wanted to discuss the book and her note and what she thought it all meant. Yet we hadn’t gotten that far before our afternoon had taken a turn toward the bedroom. We’d talked about being together after this and how that would work, so I knew enough to assume what she’d thought of the meaning of the book.
The more I contemplated it, the more I wanted to find out for sure. Maybe she’d gotten caught up in the heat of the moment, and without the post-sex endorphins running through her, she’d feel differently about walking away from the crown. I didn’t believe that was the case; however, something in my gut told me that I needed to hear that from her.
I picked up my phone, noting that it had been twenty minutes since my last message. She should’ve been at the house by now, and hopefully, not around anyone else. So I tried to reach her again. However, this time, my texts weren’t even being delivered.
Worry practically choked me. I needed to see her. I just had to know that she was okay, that she wasn’t hurt, and that she was safe. I felt the need to protect her, yet I hadn’t been able to do anything to stop them from taking her from me.
It was like an ominous foreshadowing of what was to come.
Between me or the crown, the crown would always win.
Because the crown could never be thrown away.
Chapter 13
Moira
Patrick remained silent during the drive to my family’s house.
Ever since I was a small child, I had probably spent more time with Patrick than my own father. So disappointing him felt like a more significant punishment than upsetting either of my parents. And if he wasn’t talking, that could only mean I had really disappointed him.
The last time he acted like this was the night I’d made out with Ryan at the karaoke bar.
But this was worse—so much worse. Getting caught necking with a bloke was one thing, but at least we’d still had our clothes on. I couldn’t say the same for today. The only thing I could be thankful for was that we hadn’t actually been in the act when Andrew walked in, and by the time Patrick came to the door, I had already pulled the sheet around me.
“How did you or Andrew even know where I was?”
He stared silently out the tinted window of the town car for so long that I began to think he would never speak to me again. But then he swallowed harshly—so much so that I could literally hear it—and said, “We have our ways.”
“No, really. I think I deserve to at least know how you found me.” So I won’t make that mistake again!
“There are only so many places you can hide, Princess, the chateau being one of them. And considering the lad you’ve been cuddled up with all week is staying there, it wasn’t difficult to narrow down your location.”
I knew Libby would have never sold me down the river, which only left one other person who knew where I was. “Was it the receptionist? Georgina? Did she tell you where to find me?”
Patrick closed his eyes, clearly annoyed with this conversation, but at least he humored me with a reply. “No one told us anything. The penthouse is your suite. Your friend is staying
at the chateau. We grabbed a key from the front desk to check it out for ourselves. This is our job, Princess…and we are very good at what we do.”
I twisted my fingers in my lap while contemplating what was next for me. My father wouldn’t dare speak to me regarding this matter, but my mother sure would. And she would come bearing the wrath of both parents.
“Can I explain?” I asked, peeking at him out of the corner of my eye.
His jaw ticced as he groaned to himself.
While he hadn’t given me permission, he technically hadn’t told me no, either. So I took it upon myself to speak until he made me stop. “Ryan is different. I’m pretty sure I love him, Patrick.”
“That’s really good to know. I can sleep better now that I know you are pretty sure you love him.” He peered at me out of the corner of his eye, a scowl permanently etched on his face. “Your feelings—or prospective feelings—do not change the facts. He is married…with a child.”
“He’s not with—"
“You knowingly participated in the act of adultery,” Patrick interjected and then turned to face me, the sight of his ire and displeasure making my chest ache. “Is that what you want to be known for, Princess? Did you ever stop to think about what could happen if his wife discovers what he has done with you?”
I rolled my tear-filled eyes, unable to control my emotions any longer.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I whispered, mostly to myself.
“Oh, I wouldn’t?” He sounded almost offended. “I have watched over you since you were a wee little thing, barely able to walk. Protecting you has kept me from marrying or having my own children. If anyone understands what it is like to have every aspect of your life controlled all the time, it’s me.”
Even though I knew he had always been in my life, and that as far as I was aware, he’d never dated or had kids, I guess I hadn’t considered the why of it all. “Then wouldn’t you be the first person to have my back?”
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