“You’re cleaning! The only time you clean like this is when someone comes to visit.”
“And you automatically thought it was Moira?”
She nodded eagerly. “Who else could it be? You don’t know anyone else.”
Pretending that didn’t hurt on a different level, I said, “I’m sorry, sweetie, but Moira isn’t coming. I’m cleaning because it needs to be done. We’ve accumulated quite a bit of junk, and it’s time to get rid of it all.”
Mandy came up behind Amara and stood in the doorway. “How’s it going?”
I’d already spoken to Mandy about my need to remove Carly from the house, and she had agreed with me. It was time, as she put it. In a way, I felt bad for Carly—it wasn’t a good thing to have your own sister make these sorts of comments. Then again, she’d brought it on herself.
“It’s slow, but it’s coming along.” The best part was that it gave me something to do. There were moments when I’d catch myself thinking of Moira, but anytime that would happen, I’d turn the music or TV up louder and work harder.
First thing in the morning was the worst part of each day for me. It didn’t make much sense, considering I had never woken up next to her, but that didn’t stop me from feeling my lowest as soon as I woke up. Which I had assumed was because I’d wake up and realize it all hadn’t been a nightmare.
I lived in the nightmare.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” She’d offered several times so far, but I had turned her down each time. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her help; it had more to do with needing this time for myself, and if she took some of the load off me, then I would have less time to keep busy.
However, I had come to the realization that I actually would need her help. “If you don’t mind, I’d love your assistance with my closet.”
I didn’t need to say anything else. She knew why I needed her to handle that for me—Carly still had quite of few things in the master bedroom closet. No matter how many times I’d attempted to deal with it, I’d end up having to walk away before I lit the whole thing on fire.
I’d spent weeks volleying between anger and sorrow.
As soon as Mandy left the doorway, Amara turned her sad eyes to me. “Why can’t she come, Dad? Is it because of Mom? Because I don’t think she’s coming back. And she left us, so I don’t think she will care if Moira is here.”
That broke my heart. I had done my damnedest to keep all conversation about Carly away from Amara, which meant these thoughts were hers and hers alone. And I hated that for her. Throughout all of this, I never wanted her to have any ill feelings toward her mother, even though I wasn’t sure how she couldn’t. I assumed it wouldn’t happen until she was older, until she could look back on what Carly had done with a more mature mind.
I’d assumed wrong.
I patted the spot on the floor in front of me and waited for her to take a seat. And with her little hands in mine, I did my best to explain it so she would understand. “Moira can’t come because she has to be in her own country. She’s a princess, which means she has to stay there and take care of every person on the island.”
“Why can’t she take care of the people here instead?” Her innocence made me smile.
“Because, sweetheart, she’s not a princess in America.”
Confusion marred her face.
So I tried to explain it in a way that would make sense to her. “You know how I’m your dad, right? And how I make the rules in this house? Well, if I go to your friend’s house, I’m still your dad, but that doesn’t mean I make the rules in their house. Does that make sense?”
She nodded, and with the saddest expression I’d ever seen her wear, she got up and went to her room. As much as I wished I could’ve consoled her, I knew that she only needed time. It was just like after Carly had left the first time—it’d taken a while, but Amara had finally come back to life. And I trusted that she would do the same with this.
It couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes later when Mandy came into the room with a small, crumpled paper bag in her hand. “Uh, I’m not sure whose this is, but I found it in your closet. I didn’t know if you want to keep it or not.”
She brought it to me, and as soon as I opened the bag and peeked inside, my entire world came to a sudden halt. I had flashbacks of walking on the beach to clear my head the night I’d gone to the pier to meet Moira. Tossing the bag into the sink after I’d gotten home but before finding Carly in the bedroom, pleading for me to forgive her.
I pulled out the leather flat cap and studied it for a moment before lifting my gaze to Mandy. “Where did you say you found this?”
She stood in front of me, complete confusion etched into every feature on her face. Maybe it was concern. “Your closet. It was shoved to the back of one of Carly’s shelves. I was worried it might’ve belonged to another guy, but I guess not. You recognize it?”
“Yeah…” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
As I studied the cap in my hand, mixed emotions consumed me. I was baffled as to how it’d found its way to my closet; not to mention, why it was in such good shape. It should’ve been moldy and stiff, considering it had been wet and sandy when I brought it home. The only thing I could think of was that Carly must’ve cleaned it—but that didn’t explain why she’d hidden it in the closet without saying anything about it.
However, the emotion that overwhelmed me the most was awe.
Complete and utter awe.
This was just one more thing pulling us together, like magnets being attracted to each other from halfway around the world. I couldn’t ignore the obvious reasoning for this, yet there was nothing I could do about it. We both had made a choice that day in the suite, and that choice had come with consequences.
It prevented us from ever being together again.
* * *
I’d spent three days trying to get ahold of someone who could give Moira a message for me. But that had only led to one dead end after another. Finally, I enlisted the help of Mandy, who was a self-proclaimed bounty hunter.
It’d taken her less than two days to get in contact with someone.
Apparently, I’d been seeking out the wrong person.
One way or another, Mandy had managed to get ahold of Libby. So now, it was a waiting game. Every time my phone rang, my heart skipped a beat. And every time I checked the screen and noticed it wasn’t Moira calling, my heart broke just a little bit more.
Finally, a full week after discovering that I still had Daniel’s hat, I got a call.
“Hey, Ryan, it’s Libby.” Right accent. Wrong princess.
The pathetic sound of disappointment rang in my tone as I said, “Hi, Libby. As much as I appreciate hearing from you, I guess I was kind of expecting Moira to call.”
“Then why didn’t you just call her? It’s not like you don’t have her number.”
I was taken aback by that for a moment. “Do you think I haven’t already tried that? I can’t get through to her. It just rings and rings. I’ve texted, but they all go undelivered.”
“Oh,” she whispered, as if a realization had just dawned on her. “Well, give me the message, and I will pass it on to her.”
“No. Tell me what that oh was all about.” Hopefully, that had come across as more of a plea than a command. The last thing I wanted to do was piss off the only connection to Moira that I had.
“It’s nothing, okay?” She must’ve taken my silence exactly how I’d meant it—that I wasn’t budging until she answered me—because she huffed and gave in. “Fine. It sounds to me like your number might have been blocked on her phone.”
That felt like a knife to my chest.
“Anyway, Mandy said you have something for Moira?”
“Yeah…” I cleared my throat of the agony I felt over the possibility of Moira blocking my number. “It’s something she left behind when she was here several months ago, and I just wanted to return it.”
“What could she have possibly
left behind?”
I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted Moira to have her brother’s hat, though I wasn’t keen on the idea of someone else being the one to tell her that she hadn’t lost it for good. So instead of telling Libby what it was, I said, “Her glass slipper.”
There was a second of silence, followed by the sound one would make when they’d shudder with disgust. “I don’t even know what that metaphor is supposed to mean, and I would like to keep it that way.”
“All you need to know is that it’s something that means a great deal to Moira.”
“Did you find a way to return her virginity?” She must’ve realized that she’d taken it a little too far because, before I could say anything, she added, “I apologize. That was uncalled for. It takes two to tango, and it’s not fair to put all the blame on you.”
Well, as far as apologies went, that wasn’t the worst I could’ve gotten from her.
“I’d tell you to put it in the post, but I’m not sure I trust that it’s not a bomb.”
I tried to laugh but failed. I wasn’t in a joking mood. “It’s not, I swear.”
For a full minute, the only noise that drifted through the line was the sound of her breathing. It was the slow and steady kind that told me she was likely deliberating on something. Then she said, “If it is something that will mean a lot to her, then you should be the one to give it to her.”
“How am I supposed to do that? Is she coming to the States?”
“No.” That popped my bubble. “You should come to her coronation. It’s in six months, though the date hasn’t been officially set yet. Once I find that out, I will let you know.”
“Sounds great, Libby. Except I think you’re forgetting two very important details. One, I’m banned from ever entering Ilunabarra again. And two, if she blocked my number, then she clearly doesn’t want to speak to me…let alone see me.”
“Oh, I don’t think she blocked your number. I am pretty sure someone else did.”
That at least gave me a little glimmer of hope. “Okay, but you’re still ignoring the other issue. I literally can’t step foot on that island. It’s the King’s orders. So unless the coronation is somewhere else, I won’t be able to attend.”
I also wouldn’t be able to afford that trip again, especially not after Carly had wiped me out the second time, but I wasn’t about to mention that. She didn’t need to know my financial situation—which was less of a situation and more of a crisis at this point.
“I will help you get in. Leave it all up to me.”
I sighed, really wishing that her idea was somehow plausible. But it wasn’t. “Just tell me where to send it, and I’ll mail it. But whatever you do, do not let anyone else get ahold of it. And please, I’m begging you, let her be the one to open it. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. No worries.”
Just because I couldn’t be there for her coronation didn’t mean she shouldn’t have her brother with her.
When I got off the phone, I noticed I had missed a text from Carly. I hadn’t heard a peep from her since she took off this last time, but after more than a month of being gone, she broke her silence. With four words.
I want a divorce.
Chapter 17
Moira
My heart raced and my hands shook, but at least my voice remained strong and steady as I addressed the people of Ilunabarra. It was an unplanned speech, but one that was desperately needed if we wanted to avoid riots or protests once the coronation date was announced.
I had six months.
It felt more like a death sentence.
“Whose side are you on?” someone cried out from the crowd that stood in front of me.
Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself enough to respond accordingly. “We are an island. Islands do not have sides, they have shores. We are bound together as a whole by the tides, not separated by the seasonal currents.”
I made a mental note to thank Libby for that poetic point, considering she had been the one who came up with it. And with that, I began to draw from the other things she’d said to me ever since the public hearing when the mention of division had first come about.
“I ask you all to look at the person on either side of you, in front and back of you.” My heart raced; except this time, it wasn’t caused by nerves. The excitement I had felt while listening to Libby say these things ran through me, and I hoped the crowd recognized it. “Who are you standing next to? Who are you standing in front or in back of?”
I watched as everyone began to turn their heads, glancing at the bodies around them.
“I will tell you, and I hope you hear me when I say this… The person to your right, the one to your left, as well as the person in front and behind you is an Ilunabarrian. I am an Ilunabarrian.”
Suddenly, I realized the crowd had grown quiet. As my voice got louder, theirs became lower and lower until they were all doing nothing but standing there, staring at me, mouths unmoving as they absorbed my every word.
It was easy to see how someone could enjoy this level of power.
I wasn’t that person, though.
“From now on, we only have one label, and it’s not male or female. It is proud citizen of Ilunabarra, regardless of who wears the crown. This country isn’t made up of only one person. It is made up of more than whoever is sitting on the throne. This island is made up of you, your neighbor, your friend, your parent and child. If we can’t all come together for the sake of Ilunabarra, then Ilunabarra. Will. Crumble. And I am telling you now, I will not stand by and wait for that to happen.”
The applause started slow, but quickly grew louder and more enthusiastic.
I could have said more, yet I didn’t feel it was necessary. The people had heard me, and that was all I had set out to accomplish. There would still be those who believed I couldn’t lead them as well as a man could, or that, as a female, I would be too emotional to make logical decisions. But I had to accept that I would have to prove myself to those people, and in the end, I probably wouldn’t ever win them all over.
Maybe I could if I were the Island’s Princess.
But that was Libby, not me.
Patrick escorted me off the stage and led me inside the palace, where I would wait for the crowd to clear so I could be taken home. As soon as I made my way through the grand entrance, I noticed my mother standing off to the side with another woman. I hadn’t spoken to her much since our argument, so I didn’t do more than make eye contact with her. Patrick, who walked in front of me, nodded in her direction, though she only glanced at him before turning her attention back to the woman she was with.
The pain I’d recognized in her eyes assured me that she knew Patrick had been the one to tell me about her and her ex, and my heart immediately sank. Patrick had been with the family for many years, and the last thing I wanted for him was to lose his position or become alienated all because he had tried to offer me some peace.
If anything were to happen to his position within the family, I would be sure to correct it once the crown sat firmly on my head. I wouldn't let him pay the price for my mother’s insecurities. That was her own cross to bear.
Libby met up with me as I headed down the hall to my office. She seemed positively excited, which I was sure had more to do with the fact that I had pretty much recited everything she’d said to me than the speech itself. But that didn’t matter, because I felt accomplished. For the first time since this sentence had been imposed on me, I felt like I might actually succeed.
“That was impressive, Mo,” she squealed and then quickly turned to close the door, probably out of fear that my mother was nearby. She was utterly terrified of my mother overhearing her call me Mo.
“You liked my speech?”
She raised her brow and rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly, of course I did. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I was referring to the fact that you actually listened to me. If I’m being honest, I had genuinely started to think that you igno
re everything I say when it comes to the throne. But I see now that you don’t. You just store it somewhere in your memory bank and then use it to make yourself sound good when you need to. I am really impressed.”
“Well, don’t get too used to it. That is probably the only thing you have said that I actually retained. So you probably shouldn’t expect it to happen again. That will likely go down in history as my one and only motivational moment as Queen—which is pretty funny considering I’m not even on the throne yet.”
“I’m not worried one bit.” The excitement oozed from her like a gaping wound that wouldn’t heal—which was just as disgusting as it sounded. “Think about it, Mo…with me by your side, you can’t possibly fail.”
I laughed and shook my head, amused by her complete lack of humility. “You should probably quit while you’re ahead. Keep pointing out how much better you are than I am at ruling a country, and I will go back to pestering you to take the crown.”
Libby pretended to zip her lips closed and toss the key over her shoulder. Like she was five.
“What’s that?” I asked, pointing to the small box that she held beneath her arm. She had come in with it, but this was the first opportunity I had to mention it.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” She held it out, but when I grabbed it, she wouldn’t let it go. Apparently, she needed to explain it before fully handing it over. “I have no idea what is in it. I was told to make sure it got in your hands, and your hands only. I also had to swear on my life that I wouldn’t open it, and as much as I really wanted to find out what’s inside, I refrained from doing so.”
“Okay, so give it to me already so I can see what it is. Who’s it from, anyway?” I asked as I started to peel back the tape that sealed the box closed.
However, she wasn’t able to respond before I had the package open and emptied.
And once I had my brother’s cap in my hand, I couldn’t speak, either.
“Ryan sent it.” As if that answered so much.
Throne Away Page 17
