Insomnia
What happens when you can’t sleep?
DONNÉE PATRESE
First Draft Publishing, LLC
Indianapolis, Indiana
Copyright © 2012
March 2012
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.
For information regarding this book contact:
First Draft Publishing, LLC
[email protected]
This book is fiction. Names and characters are produced from the imagination of the writer. Any resemblances to actual people or events are a coincidence.
First Draft Publishing
www.firstdraftpublishing.com
Table of Contents
Alone
Sleepless
Addiction
Losing my Religion
Red Eye
Unfaithful
Deprivation
New Year’s Eve
In dreams
Open 24 Hours
Betrayal
Prohibited
“In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge.”
Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
Alone
I glared at the clock. 3:45 am.
I rolled over and my hand reached out feeling the cold empty spot in the bed next to me.
I hated being alone.
I could never sleep when I was alone. I told him that the very first time he left me in this big house by myself.
What did he expect me to do all alone?
He claimed he didn’t realize that he would have to travel so much when he took this promotion. Not only did he have to travel, but we had to move all the way here in the middle of nowhere.
He saw it as a good thing. It brought us to the same town that his brother lived and near his son in college. I was not happy. The thought of moving closer to my new in-laws was not a good thing for me.
During the day, I made the most of it. At night I always found it difficult to sleep.
Lately, I have been finding ways to entertain myself during those lonely nights. Sometimes it was worth staying up all night and other times the guilt was too much to bare.
I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I was trying to talk myself out of what my body was telling me I should do.
I hated being alone.
When I was alone I could not sleep and when I could not sleep…I was always in the mood for something else.
In a measure to curb my desire, I climbed out of bed and I made my way to the closet hoping my husband had not moved his porno collection to a different location. He tried to hide his DVDs and magazine collection from me, but I always found them.
What he didn’t realize was the fact I used them to get off and keep me from doing bad things when he was gone.
I searched through the closet and found them in a large shoe box behind some old boxes. I sorted through them pulling out a few and settling on my favorite. I walked over to the DVD and slid it inside. Soon I was naked on the smooth satin sheets rubbing my breasts with fingers in my pussy driving me crazy.
There was an Asian beauty on the screen giving a well endowed white boy an incredible blow job. It was wet and sloppy and he was definitely enjoying it.
I was enjoying myself too as I thrust my fingers in and out.
I moaned as I watched him spread her legs and dip his head down making sure his warm wet tongue made contact with her throbbing clit.
I hated having to do this so often alone. I didn’t want to masturbate. I needed a man inside of me. I became jealous of the beautiful woman on the screen as he pounded her pussy making her beg for much more.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I picked up my cell phone and dialed my lover’s number. He picked up after the first ring.
I didn’t have to say a thing.
“Mmm, baby. I was hoping you would call. I was sitting here stroking my hard cock waiting and thinking about you. I’m on my way.”
I giggled and hung up the phone.
I waited for my lover to arrive impatiently. I was yearning for his hands on me. It felt like forever, but soon I heard his knock on my door. I scrambled off the bed throwing on my robe and raced to the door. I looked out of the peephole and smiled. I flung the door opened and leaped into his arms. His body was cold but it did nothing to cool down my hot body.
“Someone is happy to see me!” He chuckled walking into the house carrying me. He closed the door and placed his cool lips on mine.
I just stared into his dark brown eyes. He was so beautiful. Tall and strong with a head full of dark black hair. It made his tan skin glow.
“I am happy that you are here.” I exclaimed placing another kiss on his lips.
He smiled gripping my ass.
“You call baby and I come running.”
He stopped and listened. The sounds of sex were traveling down the hall from the bedroom. The moaning and groaning was getting my pussy wetter.
“Looks like you got started without me!”
I laughed.
“I was so horny, I could not help myself.”
He gripped me tighter and began to carry me down the hall into the bedroom. When we got inside, he let me down gently and I quickly threw off my robe. I climbed on the bed and opened my legs resuming my masturbation.
He watched me as he stripped down to nothing but a smile. He climbed on the bed and placed his body between my legs. His hands found my chocolate brown breasts and surprisingly they were warm. His mouth was too as it enclosed an erect nipple. I moaned in response as his tongue made circles around it.
My hands traveled over his body and suddenly he sat up.
“Baby, I just can’t get enough of you. I want you all the time. I want you all to myself.”
I sighed.
I was in no mood to discuss this right now.
“Honey, come eat my pussy.” I said spreading my legs further apart.
He looked a little upset but it was quickly replaced with a smile as he licked his lips. He buried his face between my legs and the first sensation of clit tongue contact was a wave of pleasure that rippled through my body.
“Oh baby you are driving me crazy!” I moaned.
He sat up.
“That’s the plan.” He responded continuing to drive me mad.
I could not take it anymore. I wanted him inside of me.
“Please, fuck me okay?”
He sat up with his mouth covered in my juices. He pulled himself over me and kissed me on the mouth. I could taste myself all over him. His mouth trailed down my neck and back to my breasts where he sucked gently on my nipples.
Suddenly he entered me. I was so wet. He slid right in without any problems. I was in heaven as he pounded me. Every time he thrust in and pulled out I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my climax.
He grabbed my right leg and lifted it over his shoulder. The deeper he went the louder I moaned. I could feel my body tighten and the familiar sensations took over me.
“Oh shit! I’m coming!” I exclaimed.
He grabbed my left leg lifting it over his shoulder and continued to ram me. I could feel him so deep.
I came hard surrendering my body to the waves of pleasure that rippled through me. There was nothing going on in my mind than how good it felt.
He never faltered as I came all over his hard dick. When I was done he pulled out.
“Turn over,” he instructed.
I struggled to flip over. My legs felt like jelly. I got on all fours with my ample ass in the air. He placed his h
ands on either side of my waist and entered me.
I could still hear the porno playing in the background. There was a different woman on the screen moaning and groaning. I felt like I was going to come again as I heard the sound of my ass slapping his thighs.
It didn’t take him very long. He came pulling out and spilling his cum all over my back and ass.
“Oh shit that was good!” He exclaimed.
I laughed.
He paused for a second trying to catch his breath. Then he moved off the bed.
“Don’t move. Let me get a towel.”
I stayed there feeling the cum grow cold and slide down my side. Suddenly I felt a warm towel on my back and he gently cleaned me wiping my pussy as well. When he was done, I rolled over and he collapsed on top of me.
We kissed and he placed his head on my chest.
“Lexi, baby. I want to be with you so bad. Why don’t you just leave him and be with me?”
I rubbed his hair.
“DJ, I can’t do that.” I answered
“He doesn’t deserve you. I can take care of you the way you need me to.”
I stared at him and I knew that he was serious. I knew he would what he said he would do, but was that enough to make me leave my husband?
“I enjoy being with you, but I can’t just leave him. I can’t-”
“Does he make you happy? He can’t because you are always calling me here to please you. You’re too young for him.”
“Do you really want to endure your his wrath?”
I know I didn’t. My husband had a temper that was quite scary. I don’t know if it is because he is Arab or because he just feels he has to be intimidating and cruel sometimes.
When he was angry he was very scary. He didn’t have very many friends because of that. Most of the people that surround him were there from fear of his retaliation.
He could get physical quite quickly with people. He was physical with me only once and that was enough. My nose was broken and I have been afraid of him. I did not want him to find out about DJ and me. I didn’t know what he would do.
DJ looked at me. He knew how scary my husband could be. I knew that he wanted to protect me, but I could not just leave my husband. I really do love him and as long as he is in a good mood, we are perfectly fine. He can be quite charming and loving sometimes.
“You have to be honest with me? Is he hurting you?”
I didn’t want to tell him about my broken nose. That happened before we moved here and he would just blow it out of proportion.
I just shook my head.
He sighed.
“If you really want me as much as I want you, I can handle him."
I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I leaned over and laid my lips on his. He kissed me back and we just laid there cuddling and kissing when my cell phone started to ring.
I froze.
I knew who it was. My husband always called at this time. He was three hours ahead where he was and always called before he went into the meeting.
DJ reached over and grabbed it off the table. He looked at the screen and tossed it to me.
“It’s dad.” He answered “Just talk to him.”
He climbed off the bed and began to put on his clothes.
“You’re leaving?”
“Answer the phone.” He said heading out of the bedroom.
Sleepless
I’m not myself.
I can’t sleep.
That is the way I have been feeling these last couple of minutes, hours, days.
I can’t sleep.
That is not something new.
I haven’t been able to sleep for a while now.
I’m just not myself.
The heat still radiates from my body as he rolls off me. I’m sticky from his cum and I do not want to move.
I didn’t want to. Yet in my despair I had to put on a show.
My body was there yet mind was back in that room doing deeds that I do not want to think about.
I am disgusted.
I just lay there in my own juices unable to sleep. Restless.
It’s crazy that I didn’t come.
His pleasure was more important at the moment.
I felt worthless.
I think that I should be doing something else. I can’t sleep and there is still so much to do.
There is so much to do yet I sit here in bed.
I think about masturbating. Sometimes the intense sensation might give me some comfort. But I do not want to touch myself. I am disgusted with myself. I hate festering in my own skin.
The house is quiet and everyone is sleeping.
I lie awake at night. I try not to listen to the voices in my head. I can’t stop them sometimes. The events of the day are floating around in my brain.
The scene plays in my head and leaves me desperate for something else to think about.
Desperate for sleep.
I can’t sleep.
That is not something new.
I hope that sleep will come soon. I hope that I could just think about nothing.
Nothing would be nice right now.
There is some much wrong that I am finding it hard to focus on what I want more than anything right now.
Sleep.
Will it elude me forever? Will I be trapped in this endless cycle of sleepless nights and lonely days?
I can’t decide what to do. I turn on the TV not giving up on sleep but hoping that the voices in that box will calm or muffle the voices in my head. It did not help and another hour goes by.
I felt him touch me and my skin crawls as his hand reaches my inner thigh.
He is sleeping, yet his fingers crawl up my body and find my ample breasts.
It gets frustrating and unnerving. I can’t take this life anymore. These sleepless nights…
I can’t take it anymore.
I fight the urge to cry.
I don’t want him to see my tears.
I hold them and I feel myself exploding.
I can’t sleep.
That is not something new.
I look over and there is a bottle of my salvation.
A full bottle of sleeping pills. I didn’t want to take them. I didn’t want to spend my whole life taking pills and wasting.
Tonight I need them. I can’t live without them.
I take 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, hoping and wishing that will be enough. 7, 8, 9, 10.
I fade….I’m not myself.
Addiction
Sleep.
It was another thing in my life that eluded me tonight.
Yet I much rather fuck than sleep.
I’m alone.
I’m alone as usual.
From the window, the moon leaves a streak across my motel bed.
I laid there naked and sticky from my latest encounter. I’m too exhausted to move. Yet, not exhausted enough.
I’m having trouble sleeping. It has been this way for a few years now.
Addiction does that to you. Nothing else seems to matter.
I wasn’t always alone, but for the past three years it has been me and my addiction.
I used to have a wife and three beautiful daughters. We were a happy family. I always made sure my girls had the finest things money could buy. I worked hard all day to provide for them. The problem arose when I decided that because I worked so hard…it was time that I play hard as well.
As long as I gave them the best, they should not have a problem with my extracurricular activities.
The best for them right now is not to have me around.
Sleep eluded me tonight and I’m all alone as usual.
I spent so many nights chasing pussy. My wife had no choice but to pack the kids up and leave. How many prostitutes and neighbors do you have to fuck before you chase your wife away?
In my case, quite a few.
My wife loved me so much she tried hard to tough it out and hang around. She wanted to be the only one I needed. She tried new things in
the bedroom. For the first time I knew how it felt to have my dick slide inside her tight lubed asshole.
That didn’t help me to stick around. It only made me want to slide my dick in as many assholes as I could. Her best friend was one woman I enjoyed fucking. Her pussy and her ass were always wet and ready. To top it all off, the feeling of her lips around my dick was extraordinary.
She was my downfall.
She showed up wearing only bra and panties under her trench coat. How could I possibly resist? She knew that my wife had taken my daughters to the mall and she came right over to get a mouth full of dick. I led her into the bedroom anticipating sliding in-between her supple ass cheeks.
She wasted no time dropping to her knees and taking me into her mouth. She sucked and slurped on my dick. I felt weak in the knees. I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to come from head.
No.
I wanted to come all over her breasts. I pulled my dick from her mouth and pushed her backwards.
She smiled.
She took off her bra and panties and climbed onto the bed. She spread her legs and began to slowly play with herself. Her fingers slid in and out of her tight wet hole. I was intoxicated.
That is what happens.
It is hard to describe. It is like I’m drunk. When I see it, when I smell it, I just have to have it.
I leaped into her head first licking and sucking her into oblivion. She could barely breathe let alone moan the way she wanted to. Her pussy was so tasty I could eat it all day.
That is if my wife hadn’t come home.
She just stood there staring. It was as if we were all frozen. I stared at her with my mouth covered in her best friend’s juices.
She didn’t scream or yell.
She just calmly exited the room. That was the last straw.
I lost her.
Since that day I have not been able to sleep.
I have spent all my time moving from motel to motel working in the day and hunting for prostitutes at night.
Working and fucking has been my new life.
Insomnia: What happens when you can't sleep Page 1
