by Mae Nunn
“Of course it bothers me. You’re important to me, to my life, Ali. Having your respect matters a great deal.”
The layers of this man were peeling back one by one. His positive nature wasn’t a fake or a facade—he truly was a glass-half-full person. But each time she scratched a bit deeper she found him hurting a little more. They had a lot of things in common after all.
She touched his bare forearm below the short sleeve of his casual white shirt. His skin was warm beneath her cool fingertips. “Benjamin, I assure you that you have my respect.”
“Thank you,” his words were humble. “But not your vote, right?”
His teasing smile was back as he tugged the cap in place.
“That all depends on whether or not you’re running. Have you made a decision yet?” She was relieved the serious moment had passed. More headway had been made.
If she could just say the same about Ethan.
“The only decision I made this morning was to get my kid out of the house.” Benjamin turned and pointed toward the parking area. Two empty spots away from Ali’s dirty Land Rover, a huge red convertible was backed in as if ready for a quick getaway. In the front passenger’s seat was the back side of a familiar shaggy, blond head that wagged to and fro.
“Ethan!” Ali shouted as she hurried to the end of her private walkway. But the teen gave no indication of hearing. Benjamin followed behind, laughing at her efforts to get the boy’s attention.
“He’s wearing those little earbud things so he can tune out the traffic noises and listen to his iPod. I’m pretty sure his eyes are closed behind those gosh-awful sunglasses. Don’t ask me where he dug up those checker boards.”
“They’re mine,” she admitted. “He won them from me fair and square. How did you ever get him into the car? And where did that land yacht come from, anyway?”
They’d stopped at the end of walk, still a ways from where Ethan jived to his private concert, seemingly unaware they were even in the vicinity.
“One question at a time, please.” Benjamin looked down at her, his eyes soft in their solemn stare. “Ethan misses you and your dog. He wanted to see both of you. I told him that was only gonna happen if he got in the car and let me bring him here.”
“Why didn’t you call? Five more minutes and you’d have missed us.”
“I tried. When you didn’t answer I took a chance you’d be someplace close by where we could spot the two of you.”
Ali patted her pockets. No cell phone. She snapped her fingers. “I left it attached to my jeans when I put on these running clothes. It must be in the closet floor with the rest of my dirty laundry.” Yuck, he didn’t need that clue about her sloppy housekeeping when his place was always immaculate. She hurried to change the subject. “Well, I’m thrilled things worked out the way they did.” She beamed at his success with Ethan.
“I believe your next question was more of a disparaging comment, but you won’t get my goat on this subject.” Benjamin’s chest inflated with pride as he held his arms wide to present the red convertible. “I call this beauty the Scream Machine. She’s a 1969 Cadillac DeVille, all original parts. My dad bought her the same day she rolled into the showroom at Randall Motors, so she’s been in our family for over forty years. Dad left the Caddy to me with the provision that she never have an owner who’s not a Lamar.”
“It must be something special to have a family history to be so proud of.”
Benjamin shrugged, made light of his pedigree. “Oh, every parent thinks their child hung the moon and every child believes their parent is a superhero. Even if the sentiment only lasts a few minutes, I think it’s pretty standard.”
“Not necessarily,” Ali muttered.
“Sorry, I forget you work with kids whose experience has been anything but that.”
“And speaking of kids, let me get Simba and we’ll come say hello to Ethan.”
“I see you’re dressed to go for a run, but how about going for a ride with us instead?”
She gave him a hard look. “Do you think that’s wise after the media storm of the past few days?”
“Here’s how I’ve come to look at it.” The lines of his face relaxed as if peace rushed in where stress had been camped for ages. “You sleeping on our couch is pretty small stuff when you consider how many married Congressmen have been forced out of office over misbehaving with their college interns. If a budding romance between a widower and a single woman is the worst they can make of us, then I’d say we can survive it.”
A budding romance? So, she wasn’t imagining it!
“Come on, go with us,” he cajoled. “A stop at the Marble Slab for a banana split with extra pecans was another condition of getting Ethan out of the house.”
“I think I should be offended by being the same temptation as fruit and nuts, but I’ll let it pass because the offer is just too good to resist.” She looked toward the open door knowing Simba would still be waiting patiently, her belly pressed to the cool tile. “My roommate’s inside. I need to let her know I’m leaving for a while so she can keep an eye on Simba. You have to promise to have me back in an hour. The Rescue Round Up is next weekend and we’re not ready.”
“Rescue Round Up?”
“I’ll tell you over the most expensive sundae Marble Slab sells.” She turned about face and headed for the door. A strong hand on her shoulder stopped Ali in her tracks and sent her pulse info a flutter fest.
“Thanks, Ali,” Benjamin said softly. His gaze was as warm as his hand. “I figured something out over the past couple of days.”
She held her breath, silently praying that the man standing before her would be the one she’d waited for all her life. A gentleman whose very presence was enough to help her forget the past. To give her hope for a future.
“Ali, Ethan may have missed you, but I’ve been downright lonely without your company. I know we disagree on some important things, but can we focus on the areas where we think alike and see where it leads?”
“Sure.” She smiled, not knowing how else to answer. “I’ll meet you at the car in two minutes.” She turned toward her door.
So, that was it. Since their conversation about his wife Benjamin had discovered he was lonely.
From her years of foster care and then being completely on her own as a student, Ali certainly knew the power and depths of that emotion.
Well, Benjamin hadn’t exactly made a declaration of love, but it was a start they could build on.
Wasn’t it?
Chapter Fourteen
“So, why did you spend so many nights hanging out at the house and then just stop showing up? What kind of flaky doctor does that to a kid?”
“Ethan! Where are you manners?”
“It’s okay.” Ali assured Benjamin she hadn’t taken offense. “We agreed the first night to shoot straight so he’s entitled to his opinions.” She turned her attention on Ethan. “I’m entitled to mine, too. And you know what I think? I think you are selectively disabled.”
Ethan paused momentarily from the business of shoveling ice cream into his face as if someone might take the rest away at any moment. Ali was continually amazed by the eating habits of teenage boys. Even Simba showed better sense, taking her time over the dinner bowl.
“What does selectively disabled mean?” he mumbled with his mouth full.
“It means you have control over when you panic and when you remain calm. That choice is always within your ability. You have to decide when and how to exercise the control, just as you are today.”
“So, you’re saying I’ve been faking it?”
“No, you’re definitely a mental case.” Ali paused, waited for the smirk she knew the inappropriate comment would get from Ethan. “What I’m saying is you’re lazy. Kiddo, when you’re motivated your abilities are far beyond what you give yourself credit for. And one day soon I’m going to prove that to you.”
She took another luscious spoonful of sweet cream and cookie dough, then looked to Benjam
in for his reaction. For the most part he’d steered clear of her discussions with Ethan, not judging or interfering. Today he seemed to be doing the same. If it bothered Benjamin for Ali to criticize or issue challenges, he didn’t let it show.
“So, when are you two going to have this outing at the university library?” Benjamin asked.
Ethan stopped scraping his plastic spoon around the edges of his container. “Yeah, when? I really need to know.”
Asperger’s made the boy rigid about his schedule, so Ali understood his need for a timeline. But even with a plan he could still get overanxious and refuse to cooperate. Because today had been so successful, she felt the element of spontaneity might be more effective than days of planning and hours of worry over the timing.
“Patience is a virtue you know so little about, Ethan. But I’m working out the details,” she said softly, knowing it was not the answer he wanted.
“You promised,” Ethan whined. He pushed his bottom lip out, once again reverting into his childish other-self.
She glanced at Benjamin, noted the tense set of his jaw, the building aggravation. It had to be difficult for such a driven and successful father to watch his only son morph from snotty teen to insecure child in the blink of an eye. Neither was attractive and both were disappointing. She prayed they would make further strides together. But Ethan was who he was and only God’s hand could permanently change that circumstance. Benjamin may have to be the one to change instead.
She risked touching Ethan’s arm in an effort to reassure him. “Yes, I promised and I keep my promises. We’re going to have a fabulous time, and we could go right now if we wanted to be around a bunch of other people. But if you’ll hold your horses a couple more days you’ll get a closer look at everything. Okay?”
Eyes downcast, Ethan nodded as he slipped his hands beneath the table outside of her reach.
Benjamin shrugged and pursed his lips, an unspoken What did you expect?
Ali checked her watch. “Guys, the ride in the Scream Machine was awesome and the sundae was fabulous. I will cherish it for weeks to come.” She patted the side of her hip knowing her comment wasn’t entirely a joke. But the rest of her day would require a lot of energy. Maybe she’d burn some of the calories before they took up permanent residence on her thighs.
“We’ll head back just as soon as you tell us about this Rescue Round Up you mentioned before.”
“Oh, right.” She needed to bring Ethan back into the conversation so he wouldn’t sulk all afternoon and spoil the day with his dad. “Hey, you remember Harry and Sid don’t you? They were the crew who lifted us out of Big Bend.”
The boy grunted, sufficient encouragement to continue.
“Well, every year we get together with other rescue units to compete for team and individual honors. It’s not anything official, just fun and braggin’ rights, but you know how much that means to a Texan.
“Anyway, I participate with the guys from West Texas Rescue in the obstacle relay. I climb and rappel individually and then Simba competes against other working dogs in physical strength and commands.” Ali turned to Benjamin who was listening intently enough to make up for Ethan’s fixation on his empty cup. “That’s a day when you can truly appreciate how smart she is. It might even make you want to pet her.”
Benjamin shuddered, raising his shoulders to his ears and shivering as if something had just crawled up his spine. Ali laughed at his silly antics.
“Could I go?”
Ali and Benjamin swiveled their heads in Ethan’s direction. “What?” they chorused.
“I want to watch.”
“Sounds doable to me,” Benjamin agreed as he turned to Ali. “Could we come?”
“It really isn’t a fancy to-do, guys. I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed when you show up at the park and it’s just a makeshift obstacle course with a bunch of daredevils eggin’ each other on.”
“How about this—we’ll come cheer for you and after you and Simba win I’ll take us all out for a celebration dinner?”
“Wow, that’s a nice offer. What are you willing to do, Ethan?”
He jumped to attention. “What’s this got to do with me? I just wanna watch.”
“If we have to sing for our supper, you do, too. How about this? After the competition is over some of our family members get to harness up and climb the wall or put on knee pads and experience parts of the obstacle course. As long as you’re willing to do one or the other you can come.”
He slumped in the chair, silent.
Ben watched his son, almost certain he would refuse the challenge. But there was something about Ali that made Ethan want to please her, be close to her. Ben understood—he felt the same. Using her as bait to get Ethan out of the house today was pretty low. But it had worked! And now what had initially seemed disrespectful felt more like a stroke of genius. It gave Ben an open-ended excuse to be with Ali even if it was initially for his son’s benefit. This bond between her and Ethan was just what Ben was praying for, so he’d grabbed the opportunity like a cornerback grabs an interception.
“Come on, buddy. That’s fair and it sounds like a lot of fun. What do you say?” Ben encouraged Ethan, hoping he’d go along.
“It’s not fair at all. Ali has to work hard and I have to try something scary. All you have to do is pay the bill and that’s no big deal for you.”
His son was right. “Okay, you name it. What do you want me to do to make it even?”
Ethan looked at Ali. The two gazes locked and the small nod that passed between them would have been missed by most people. For a split-second Ben felt a pang of jealousy. Someone had been successful where he’d failed. Just as Ethan and Ali had snickered over her “mental case” wisecrack before, the two had broken the nonverbal sound barrier right before Ben’s eyes. The stinging moment of envy came and went like a puff of smoke in a gust of wind. Insignificant. All that mattered was moving Ethan forward. Giving back his life. Restoring their future and making Ali a part of it.
Whatever his son chose for Ben’s part of the plan, it would be worth it.
“I know exactly what price you should pay.” Ethan rubbed his hands together, enjoying the thought of what he had in mind. “Why don’t you guess?”
“Okay, let me see,” Ben pretended to think hard. “A new high-def television?”
Ethan shook his head. “Nope. Guess again.”
“Umm, how about a driving lesson in the Scream Machine?”
“Nice, but keep guessing,” Ethan insisted.
Ben glanced at the wall clock. “Ali has to get back to her house, so why don’t you end the suspense?”
Mischief spread across Ethan’s face in a way Ben hadn’t seen in years. The triumphant look in his son’s eyes was priceless.
Thank you for this moment, Lord!
“If I climb higher than ten feet you have to sit with your arm around Simba for five minutes,” Ethan announced.
Ben’s stomach lurched. He took a sip of water to force down the ice cream that threatened to surge up into his throat. His face filled with heat and prickles of sweat broke out beneath his cap.
He was afraid of that animal. Ethan knew it. Ali knew it. And when the time came the dog would certainly know it.
Ben couldn’t refuse. Wouldn’t refuse.
Ali laughed, a comforting sound even if it was at his expense.
“Smooth move, kiddo!” She praised Ethan, then turned to Ben. “So, what do you say? Are you gonna run with the big dogs or sit on the porch?”
“Good one, Ali,” Ethan caught the obvious pun.
“I thought so.” She beamed.
Ben stalled his response with a question. “Is there any chance this was a setup?”
“What difference does it make, Dad?”
“Yeah, Benjamin. You’re the one who threw down the gauntlet. Now, what’s it gonna be?”
Ben willed his gut to stop the nervous churning it had experienced at the nearness of a dog for as long as he cou
ld remember. To his parents’ recollection, there had been no trigger event to cause the trauma. He’d tried hypnosis once to exorcise the embarrassing reaction. When that failed he reconciled to keeping a barrier between himself and canine creatures. And it had worked until Ali had become part of his life.
“Come on, Dad. Don’t be a chicken.”
“How can I possibly refuse such heartfelt encouragement from my son?”
“So, you’re in?” The incredulous note in Ethan’s voice was second only to the delight in his eyes.
“Yes, count me in.”
The cheer that went up from their small table drew more stares than usual. Ben glanced around and smiled apologetically. His eyes stopped on a familiar face. He raised his hand in a half-hearted wave, then groaned quietly when his cousin left the waiting line for the popular ice cream parlor and headed their way. There was no time to whisper a warning.
“Well, if it isn’t the family celebrity.” The tone was light but not enough to cover what was intended as a biting comment.
“Hello, Gerald.” Remembering the good manners his mama had taught him, Ben stood and extended his hand. “Ali, this is my cousin, Gerald Lamar. He’s the editorial chief at the Standard-Times. Gerald, this is Doctor Alison Stone. Of course, you know Ethan.”
Gerald ignored Ethan and focused on Ali.
“I’d recognize Doctor Stone anywhere and I must say the pictures I’ve seen didn’t do her justice.”
“As much as I’d like to take that as a compliment I know the photos you’re referring to and even a brown paper bag over my head would have been an improvement.”
Her lips were pressed together as if she had more to say. She didn’t stand or offer her hand.
Good for you, Ali.
“I doubt you’re interested in an accurate quote, but you may repeat me as saying your publication showed incredibly poor taste in choosing a few pieces of silver over the facts.”
Gerald laughed. “Ah, she’s a spunky one, Ben. No wonder you’re out having ice cream with her when you should be hosting a political fundraiser. Or are you still on the fence over whether or not to run?”
