by Mae Nunn
“If you can get him out of the house early then it won’t interfere with the rest of your day. I’ll drive him home myself if necessary.”
Benjamin didn’t respond. It was quiet on his end for so long Ali began to think he’d gone back to sweeping the pool.
“Benjamin? What do you think?”
“I think it sounds like I’m not invited.”
Ali’s breath caught, her heartbeat quickened. “I thought you just said you had plans.”
“I have plans to dig up an old flower bed so I can plant an herb garden and then eventually grill some burgers. I gave our housekeeper the day off so she could hit the holiday sales. Mrs. Alvarez always loads up on school clothes and ships them across the border to her nieces and nephews in Juarez. I offer to cover the cooking on holidays, since I never go anyplace anyway.”
“Is that a hint?”
“Yes,” he admitted. The man was appealing even when he pouted.
“Benjamin, anytime you want to participate in our therapy outings you’re welcome to join us. You are the one who got Ethan into that car the other day so you produced the breakthrough. I have neither reason nor desire to keep anything from you.” That sounded altruistic anyway. The truth was she wanted Benjamin along but didn’t know how to ask without sounding needy. “As far as I’m concerned, the more you share in Ethan’s progress, the better. You’re a great influence and an incredible role model.”
“Thanks for such kind words.” He was quiet again for a few moments. “You said you’d begun to respect me, but a person can never be sure.”
She considered his words. There was hope in the statement but sadness in the delivery. What had happened since she’d seen him the day before?
“Benjamin, is there something you need to tell me?”
“As a matter of fact, I do have some news to share. I’ve finally made the decision to run for the open Congressional seat. I’ll be announcing my candidacy as soon as Randy can arrange the details of the press conference.”
Ali stiffened, raised her spine away from the comfy sofa. Would Benjamin still accept support from the Parents First Alliance? Even if he didn’t the political action committees of Texas would line up at the door to fund the election of Benjamin Lamar in exchange for favorable votes down the road. It was the way politics operated in America, like it or not. She’d hoped against hope that he’d decide not to run.
Her insides clenched and churned at the thought of Benjamin shifting his full attention away from the welfare of his son. Instead he’d be giving his time to the writing and passing of laws, important things, but not compared to matters of the heart.
Specifically her heart.
I’m in love with Benjamin. She felt it in her core, had known it for days but hadn’t fully made the admission. Until now.
That’s what this is really all about. Ali selfishly feared for her own needs, more than she cared about Ethan’s welfare or Benjamin’s dreams. For the first time in her life, she’d begun to care for a man. And now she was afraid for herself. But it was a fear that made her want to move closer, not back away safely behind the walls she found so comforting and therapeutic. So impenetrable.
Still, she had to know which way Benjamin was headed in his political thinking.
“Will Sanders Boyd be at your side when you make the announcement?” She went fishing for information.
“That’s unlikely, but you can never tell who might turn up to support us in the coming months. You know I care about family rights and I won’t burn any bridges that I may need to cross in the future.”
It was a straight answer even if it wasn’t the one she wanted. Benjamin deserved high marks for honesty and political speak.
“I guess I should give you my congratulations.”
“I’d prefer your vote.”
She shook her head. It always came back to that.
“Nothing’s changed. How I cast my ballot will depend on the issues you stand for and the political bedfellows who turn out to be part of your camp.”
“That’s fair enough. Would you consider coming to the rally when I announce my intention to run?”
She closed her eyes and dropped her chin. She didn’t want to be one of many in a crowd around the candidate and she couldn’t afford to be singled out. Benjamin was moving forward with his plans. Ali had to do the same and that meant protecting her practice. She didn’t need the hassle of defending against rumors any more than he did.
“I don’t think that would be wise, but how about if I offer to hang out with Ethan that day? He’s not up to a noisy crowd or being the center of attention yet. So, just give me some notice and I’ll plan to spend the day with him when your press conference takes place.”
“That probably makes more sense. But could you at least watch it on television? It would mean a lot to know you’re out there somewhere.”
“Sure. Where are you going to hold the rally?”
“There’s some very old public acreage on the edge of town. It was one of the first official parks in the county and it’s fallen on hard times. I’m going to partner with the Lend a Hand Foundation to get it cleaned up and rededicated to the city network.”
Ali’s nerves sizzled with tension. “Are you talking about Halfway Landing?”
“That’s the place,” Benjamin confirmed. “So much good can be done there for the local community once we get it restored. But first the sheriff needs to take care of the undesirables squatting out there making a mess of city property.”
The undesirables. He means my Sunday Kids—people like Deena, Carla and Lenny. People like Josie.
And me.
Chapter Seventeen
Ben woke early Monday morning having hardly slept at all. His collarbone twinged and ached as if a hurricane with his name on it was waltzing its way across Texas. His mama had once cautioned to listen to that busted bone because in addition to weather forecasting it was also gauging the stress level in his life. If that was true he was in for a painful summer since he’d just bitten off a whole new chunk of responsibility.
While he shaved and dressed in casual clothes, he pondered and prayed over yesterday’s brief discovery of Ali with those kids who were tattooed like gang members. There had to be a reason for why she’d hang out with people of their ilk, but she hadn’t offered it even when he’d mentioned the park in hopes that she’d explain. She hadn’t opened up—if anything she’d clammed up. He’d tossed all night, wondering how it would feel to truly have Ali’s trust and respect. This morning as he drove to the campus he was no closer to knowing.
On the flip side, Ben was in a continual stage of praise that Ethan seemed to have settled into a stable place. He still spent ninety percent of his time in his room, but he was willing to get out of the house for short periods if it meant seeing Ali and Simba. They were a miracle drug, a tonic for the sadness that had hung over the Lamar house for far too long.
Because of Ali, the throbbing in Ben’s shoulder couldn’t hold a candle to the ache in his chest. He missed her presence in his home. Missed her wisdom, her wit and her compassion for others. Quite simply, he missed the confident woman who had stolen his heart.
Will Ali ever love me the same in return, Father? Please give me some encouragement today. I need something positive to hold on to.
With his silent prayer ended Ben waved his hand before Ethan’s face to get his attention. Ethan clicked off the iPod and tugged the earphones free. Today he was looking every bit a normal, handsome fifteen year old who needed a haircut. The occasion of visiting the geologic exhibit had him pushing past his anxiety, just as Ali had said he could if he wanted to exercise control over his many fears.
“There they are!” Ethan’s spotted Ali and Simba waiting beneath the tall, white portico. Though his excitement was contagious, Ben didn’t need any provocation to be jazzed about the next few hours. He didn’t even mind that the dog was tagging along. Maybe he’d try brushing the back of his hand against her sleek coat when nobody
was looking. Maybe.
Ethan allowed his father to hand him the backpack filled with comfort items. He tucked his iPod inside and double-checked each compartment, methodically keeping track as he unzipped and zipped, unzipped and zipped each pocket multiple times. Being an Asperger sufferer meant self-soothing through rituals of counting and touch. So, bringing along personal items or a few favorite rock specimens would help if anxiety began to invade.
Ben looked toward Ali, standing patiently only twenty yards away. But even that short distance was too far. He wanted her close. He thought back to the near-kiss as she’d slept on his sofa, wished he’d taken advantage of that private moment but fearing her reaction if she’d awakened. Ben was magnetically drawn to her, sensed she cared as well, even though she hadn’t made any romantic overtures. But there were a number of clues that made him suspect a strong reason existed in her past for her reservations.
Ali had become like a big sister to Ethan, if not a mother figure. She was having a huge impact, teaching him how to manage his behavior. Ben was reluctant to mess with what was working to satisfy his own selfish needs, but the more he knew of the woman the more he wanted to know. If only she’d volunteer the dark details he didn’t dare ask for.
“Happy Memorial Day!” She called, waving a small American flag, the classic red white and blue colors matching her plaid knee-length shorts and the bandana tied around Simba’s neck.
Ethan hoisted the straps of his bag over his shoulders and fell into step as they crossed the short space to Ali.
“What’s the big deal about this holiday?” Ethan grumbled.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Ali poked at his usual grumpy state. “The big deal of Memorial Day is honoring the brave people who fought and died for this country. Their sacrifice allows you the freedom to be here today.”
“No, my dad’s connections allow us to be here today when the place is closed.”
Ali propped one fist on her hip and pointed the flag at him in warning. “I know your world is comfortably small, Ethan, but stretch your mind to a grander scale just for a minute if that’s possible. If not for the brave men and women who’ve given their lives, you could be speaking a different language and pledging allegiance to a flag that doesn’t approve of the liberty we enjoy. And that, kiddo, is the big deal about this holiday. You got it?”
“Got it.” His eyes were downcast for a moment while he let Simba sniff his hand. “Sorry.”
The voluntary apology sent a wide-eyed glance between Ali and Ben.
“You’re forgiven.” She affirmed his effort. “Shall we go inside?” Ali swept her hand toward the entrance where the security guard waited to unlock the door.
Ben’s chest swelled to bursting beneath his shirt, filled with pride for Ali and the way she handled his son’s disrespectful moment. Without thinking twice he draped an arm around her shoulders as they headed for the door.
“Score one for the Rock.” Ben murmured close to her ear as he gave her shoulders a squeeze, wanting so much to embrace her. To kiss her.
“You think?” She looked up, her face so near, her skin so fair and lovely, her lips so inviting.
He forced a chuckle, afraid his thoughts would otherwise give him away. “Absolutely. I’ve all but given up on confronting his nasty comments, partly because we’d be at each other’s throats all the time and partly because I know he’s not always aware of how rude he sounds.”
“And that’s why you’re going to be the good cop to my bad cop,” she explained. “Let me be the heavy when we’re together and eventually Ethan will pick up on the words and behaviors that get his ears pinned back. If he wants me to keep coming around he’ll have to adjust his style.”
Ben couldn’t help wondering if that guidance applied to him as well.
Ali wiggled out from under his arm, stepped back and stared up into his face. “Those are some pretty big bags you’re packin’.” She gestured toward the dark circles he’d noted in the bathroom mirror.
“And I thought I was home free when Ethan didn’t point it out.”
She offered up a sheepish grin and a shrug before adding, “Hey, you’re about to step back into the public’s brutally critical eye. You’ve gotta keep your game face on and be lookin’ good. I bet Laura Epps isn’t missing her beauty rest, so what’s up? You’ve made your decision, so why aren’t you sleeping like a newborn babe?”
Lord, is this You giving me another opportunity to question her about yesterday? Ben couldn’t be sure and he didn’t want to spoil a special day that was just getting started.
“I guess I underestimated how much there would be to decide right out of the chute. When Randy is on a mission there’s little that slows him down, including the clock.” It was true, just not the whole truth. “He phoned late last night with a list of things to consider. And he gave me a wakeup call this morning wanting answers.”
“You sure you’re up for this tour today?” Her narrow auburn brows tilted together in concern. “It’s gonna be very exciting, you know. Paleozoic rocks are well represented in Texas and we are about to be treated to some rare vertebrate shark fossils on display from the Permian period.”
He closed his eyes, shook his head. “Where did that spiel come from?”
Ali fished into her bag and produced a page that looked to be printed from some website. “While you were considering your buddy’s questions all night I was surfing the Paleontology Portal.”
“Sounds like party time.”
“It was a struggle but I held my excitement in check, which is why I look well rested.”
“Y’all come on!” Ethan called from inside the building. The guard held the door open, tapped his toe and waited for them to follow.
“Shall we?” Ben offered Ali his arm.
“By all means.” She curled her fingers around his biceps and gave a gentle squeeze. Ben felt the pressure all the way to his heart.
“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Ali waited for Simba to jump to the ground and then slammed the vehicle door.
“Is there anything illegal or immoral about two single adults digging in the flower bed?” Ben asked.
“Not the last time I checked. But one of those adults is about to put his name on a hotly contested ballot and doesn’t need any wagging tongues over his personal life.”
Ali preceded him through the door Ethan had left wide open in his haste to get upstairs and crash. Ben couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his son worn out to the point of exhaustion, but the day had been more demanding of the boy physically and emotionally than they could have expected. In a good way.
“There’s fresh lemonade in the fridge. Would you bring a couple of glasses out back for us, please?” Ben headed straight through the family room, out the sliding doors and down the steep flight of steps to the pool and dining area. He dropped a country CD into the outdoor sound system and sang along with his favorite troubadour while he rolled a wheelbarrow full of gardening supplies from the potting shed. As he passed the pool Ben could see Ali making herself at home in the kitchen.
Warmth coursed through his veins at the sight of her moving about his familiar rooms as if she belonged. It had been years since he’d felt complete in his own home. Ali was the missing piece. She was making them whole again.
Oh, Father, give me patience and wisdom to take this slowly when what I really want to do is sweep this amazing woman off her feet.
Ben laughed out loud at the thought. She’d been keeping an eye on him from the first moment they’d met. There was little chance she’d be taken by surprise, much less swept off her feet. Everything Ali did was deliberate, well thought out and prayerfully planned.
Which reminded him again of the previous day’s discovery. He should have revealed himself, but he’d hurried away. Now, how could he reconcile these two sides of Ali? The one secretive, keeping questionable company under wraps and the other a direct, in-your-face therapist who was making such headway with Ethan?
“Can I bring anything else?” she called from the balcony.
He pushed aside the disturbing thoughts and focused on the charming lady one flight up. “Actually, wait there and you can help me gather up everything so we’ll be ready to grill later.”
He took the white limestone steps two at a time, feeling adrenaline surge as he climbed higher. Recognizing the increase in his pulse as he drew closer.
Closer to the woman who’d become the center of his world.
He reached the landing, stepped through the sliding door, slapped his hands and rubbed them together.
“Okay, let me get the meat seasoned and back into the cooler and then we’ll go get elbow deep in dirt.” He poked his head into the fridge and busied himself with a package of ground sirloin when what he really wanted to do was take Ali in his arms and confess his feelings.
I have to get my imagination under control. I haven’t been this jittery since my last NFL game.
Remembering the teak serving tray he’d bought for outdoor use he closed the stainless steel door, turned about face and stepped right into Ali’s arms.
Chapter Eighteen
Ali slid trembling hands around Benjamin’s taut waist, tipped her head back and forced a smile. This was a meant-to-be moment and she was grabbing it and the man she loved with all her might. She’d never had the inclination or the courage to be so forward and might not get a chance like this again.
Heavenly Father, don’t let me make a fool of myself. If Benjamin isn’t seriously interested please let the floor open up and swallow me whole!
Ali pressed her palms against the firmness of Benjamin’s back, dared to pull him closer, kept her gaze fixed on the deepest blue eyes she’d ever seen. She drew in a breath while she tried to think of something clever to say, something that would make this obvious overture seem accidental. She closed her eyes, praying that when she opened them he’d look a little less stunned and maybe return her smile.
In the quiet of the kitchen, with George Strait crooning in the distance, she felt the motion of Benjamin bending toward her as he wrapped her in his arms and pressed her close. A physical peace she’d never known washed over her spirit.
