Skirting the kitchen table, which was strewn with empty wine bottles, she bolted out the open back door. Sure enough, there was her mother, now crawling across the grass on her hands and knees, white ass in the air while she called to Loki, their cat, who was cowering behind the overgrown juniper bushes in the corner of the yard.
The kids were gone, thank the lord, but Turnasky was standing on a chair on the other side of the fence, getting quite an eyeful.
Cassidy gave him the look of death and hurried to her mom, snatching the cushion off the wicker loveseat on the way. “Mom?” She knelt down next to her, nearly knocked over by the same pain that flashed whenever she smelled the woman’s lilac scent. It was the scent Cassidy remembered from her childhood. The scent that used to mean comfort and security and assurance.
“Cass-a-frass!” Her mom turned, white hair frizzed and unwashed, her eyes glazed with the telltale gloss of a drunk. “You’re home!” she sang, completely oblivious to the fact that Dev now stood behind them on the deck, his hand covering his eyes.
“Is she okay?” he asked, eye protection still firmly in place.
“Of course I’m okay!” Lulu Greer sang. She abruptly stood, dusting off her thighs the way she might’ve done with pants, had she been wearing any.
Cassidy quickly shielded her mother’s skinny front half with the cushion. “Mom…” She wasn’t oblivious to the fact that this tone was the same one her mother used to use on her and Cash when they’d done something stupid. But that was before Cash died when he was twenty. Before her mother broke and Cassidy was forced to become the adult in the relationship. “What happened to your clothes?” she demanded. “Why are you out in the backyard naked?”
Her mother laughed. “It’s our backyard, honey,” she said, as though that made a difference. “It’s not like I’m running down the middle of the street giving the neighbors a show.”
“Actually you are giving the neighbors a show,” Cassidy pointed out, nodding toward Turnasky. When they all looked at him, he quickly climbed down from the chair and dragged it away.
She turned back to her mother, a familiar sorrow leaking through the anger. Once again, she wondered how they’d gotten here. How had her healthy, devoted, superhero of a mom collapsed? “You can’t do this. You can’t just walk outside naked. The neighbors have little kids,” she reminded her.
“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Her mother slung her hands onto her bony hips. “I was in the bath, and Loki climbed right out the window. I had to go after him! He knows he’s not supposed to go outside!”
Cassidy’s heart uttered a quick prayer of thanksgiving that her mother had gotten out of the bathtub. What would’ve happened if she’d passed out and drowned? That was all it took to diffuse the billow of exasperation. “Come on,” Cassidy murmured, nudging her mom toward the back door. “Let’s go inside.”
Lulu stomped through the door like a pouting two-year-old and headed straight for the hallway that led to their bedrooms. “Sheesh. A woman can’t even step out into her own backyard without a public inquiry anymore,” she muttered.
“Put some clothes on, Mom,” Cassidy called after her. “We have to be at the ribbon-cutting ceremony in thirty minutes.” Which would be about as much fun as finding her mother wandering around the backyard naked. She had no desire to see Levi Cortez receive a standing ovation for his work rebuilding the rodeo grounds over the past year, but she’d lost a bet with her friend Darla.
Before she forgot, she dashed back outside and crawled through the prickly bush until she reached Loki. “Come on, you turd.” She grabbed him by the scruff of the neck before bringing him in close for a snuggle. “Look what happens when I leave you in charge,” she muttered as she hauled the cat back inside and set him on the floor. He promptly swung his ass in her direction and pranced to his favorite spot underneath the table.
Dev had already retreated into the living room and was hanging out by the front door, pretending to be completely engrossed in the old pictures she’d hung there—of her previous life, of her perfect family. If she didn’t have the proof in the pictures, she’d question whether it had been real.
“I’m sorry about this, Dev,” she said, walking him outside. “I was gone overnight. She doesn’t do so well on her own when I’m away.” Which would really throw a wrench in her plans to go to a nurse residency program. She’d thought about it all the way home. Maybe Mom could come with her and they could get an apartment close to the hospital. But the truth was that she’d be working full-time—twelve hours a day at least three days a week. She wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on her mother. And who knew what kind of trouble Lulu would get into in a big city like Denver.
Sighing, Dev gave her that empathetic look she’d come to hate. The one that blended pity with embarrassment. “Yeah, I get it. No big deal. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. Got it? You don’t want your neighbors to press charges.”
“Nope. Definitely don’t want that.” She didn’t have the money to bail out her mother or pay any fines. While Cassidy worked long hours as an EMT and Lulu received a modest retirement check from her years as a mail carrier, there wasn’t exactly anything extra.
Dev hesitated before he got into his cruiser. “Hey, Cass…have you thought about getting her some help? Maybe you could take her to an AA meeting or something.”
“Yeah, I’ll look into it,” she said, brushing him off. She’d tried a few times in the last couple of years, but her mother wasn’t interested in AA. In all honesty, alcohol wasn’t Lulu’s biggest problem. It was depression. The heavy weight that seemed to cling to her, that told her to stay in bed. That’s why she drank. She was trying to lighten her load.
“Let me know if I can help out. Okay?” Dev slid into the driver’s seat. “I can give you some brochures. There’re a lot of resources out there.”
“Sounds great,” she said, straining the muscles in her cheeks to keep her smile intact. “Thanks, Dev.”
After a sympathetic nod, he tore out of there, and she turned to face her little dilapidated house. She’d purchased the small two-bedroom for her and Mom after her dad decided he couldn’t handle the grief and left for Texas. While it might’ve been the wrong color blue and the epitome of a bad 1970s remodel, Cassidy loved the house because it was hers.
She trudged back up the walkway. Facing the house was the easy part. Facing what was inside would hurt more, but she didn’t have a choice. This had to stop. Her being the parent. Her bailing her mom out of trouble. Her begging Lulu to get up, to get dressed, to eat something.
Somewhere inside that shell of a woman, Lulu Greer was still there. She was still funny and compassionate and friendly and honest. She was still Cassidy’s mother.
Rolling up the sleeves of her sweatshirt, she opened the door armed with a purpose and a deadline. If she got into that nurse residency program, she had just over one month to turn her mother into a functioning adult again so Cassidy could move on and have her own life.
She’d better start now.
* * *
Levi Cortez had spent his fair share of time in front of the cameras.
As a bull rider, he’d competed in front of the cameras, he’d done interviews in front of the cameras, he’d posed with fans in front of the cameras. Hell, his main sponsor, Renegade Jeans Co., had even taken countless pictures of his ass filling out designer denim. So he was no stranger to cameras. No stranger to attention from large crowds. Even in an arena filled with thousands of spectators, he’d never once been nervous.
Until now.
As he made his way to the cheap, portable podium the town council had set up in front of their new rodeo facility, the hundred or so people gathered around whispered and elbowed each other. Some wore scowls, some narrowed their eyes with suspicion, as though they were waiting for him to make a mistake. Another mistake.
Admittedly, he’d made plenty of them in his life. The worst one being letting his brother take the fall and go to prison for thr
ee years because of something Levi had done. When the truth had come out last year, everyone discovered he was the one responsible for burning down the rodeo grounds when he was a delinquent teen, and these same people standing around had done their best to run him off.
Hank Green, the uncontested mayor of the town, had even started a Facebook page calling for Levi’s voluntary banishment. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave. For once in his life, he’d stuck around, determined to make things right.
Levi placed one hand on either side of the podium and faced the crowd directly. Their faces blurred together. A dribble of sweat itched on his back. Speaking in front of cameras was a hell of a lot easier than speaking in front of a whole crowd of people you’d disappointed. Cameras didn’t tend to see through a façade the way people did.
But this was it. This was him. A screw-up who’d hurt the town, disgraced his family, and had spent the last year doing penance to save his career and reputation.
He inhaled a deep, even breath. Don’t let them smell fear…
“I wanted to thank you all for coming out today,” he said, well aware that some of them had likely been bribed by his brother Lance and sister-in-law Jessa. Those two stood in the very front row, Jessa snapping pictures on her phone like a proud mom.
She waved at him, and he gave her a grateful smile.
“Over the last year, I’ve worked hard to make up for the hardships my actions caused…” That was an understatement. He’d spent every hour he wasn’t competing fundraising and draining his own investments in order to raise enough to rebuild an arena and stables, a place where the town could host rodeos again. “Which is why we’re here.” He glanced over his shoulder at the new facility. It was ten times nicer than the old one—complete with a covered metal roof. The old arena had consisted of stands, a small call box, and lackluster stables. But during the rebuilding phase, he’d gone big. “My goal in leading this effort was to give our town a place to gather, a place to compete, and a place that will make Topaz Falls one of the most popular stops on the circuit again.”
A murmur buzzed around the crowd. Someone actually applauded.
Levi eased out a breath, motivated by the minimal show of support.
“There’s still more work to do. But I’m thrilled to be here today to dedicate phase one of the project. And I promise that I will keep working until we expand the stables and add the educational spaces we’ve promised.”
This time Jessa started to clap. She elbowed Lance, and he joined her, rolling his eyes. The rest of his family joined in on the applause—his father, Luis, and Evie…Levi still wasn’t sure exactly what to label her. Girlfriend, probably, though neither one of them would admit it. And then there was his brother Lucas and sister-in-law Naomi, who stood off to the side. She was about a month from giving birth and was fanning herself with the flyer they’d passed out earlier.
He scanned the crowd again. More people had started to clap. That was a good sign, right? The tension that had pulled at his neck dissolved. “I’m proud to officially welcome you all to the Cash Greer Memorial Arena.” A tremor ran through his voice, but he didn’t care. Cash had been his best friend and everyone knew it.
As they’d rehearsed, Hank Green walked forward and handed him the giant scissors. Levi cut the large red ribbon that Jessa had made, then gritted his teeth real tight and shook Hank’s hand. They both walked back to the podium and Levi stood off to the side while Hank launched into one of his famous monologues. The man loved to hear himself talk.
“I would like to thank Mr. Cortez for his contributions to ensuring our town’s bright future…”
Levi tuned him out and scanned the crowd again. No one seemed to be listening. Most people were either staring at their phones or chatting. His gaze moved to the back row and a punch of air hit him in the lungs.
Cassidy Greer stood next to her friend Darla. Shock rolled through him, rooting his boots to the ground. She’d come. And she looked good—like she was dressed to go out. The sleeveless sundress she wore showed off her tanned shoulders. Her mid-length blond hair had a wave through it, shining in the evening sun.
Daaammmnnn. His body heated. He shouldn’t be looking. He knew that. She was Cash’s little sister, and she’d always been off limits. That was how she seemed to want things, anyway. Ever since he’d come back to Topaz Falls, she’d blown him off. If she wasn’t glaring at him, she was ignoring him. And he got it. He knew she blamed him for what had happened to his brother. She seemed to blame all bull riders.
But she’d come…
“We’d like to invite everyone far and wide to our first rodeo event in twelve years,” Hank said dramatically into the blipping microphone. “Mr. Cortez has put together a benefit rodeo featuring some of his famous friends to raise money for the completion of the facility. You should have received a schedule of events. We hope to see you all tomorrow.”
Another round of applause rose, louder this time, actually bordering on enthusiastic. A newspaper reporter stepped forward and snapped a quick picture, but Levi wasn’t looking. He held his gaze on Cassidy as the crowd started to scatter.
She’d already made it to the edge of the dirt parking lot when he finally caught up with her.
“You came,” he said behind her.
She stopped but didn’t turn around. “I didn’t have a choice. Darla made me.” Her tone could’ve formed icicles in his eyebrows.
He moved in front of her so she’d have to look at him. Hadn’t she punished him long enough? Everyone else in town had forgiven him for his past sins. Hell, they’d actually cheered him on up there. Everyone except for Cassidy Greer.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said, wondering how things could be so awkward with this woman he’d once known like a sister.
“I can’t stay.” She looked past him. “My mother’s waiting in the car.”
Lulu had come? God, he hadn’t seen much of her since he’d been back, either. “You should go get her. I’m sure she’d love to see the sign with Cash’s name on it.”
The woman’s striking blue eyes dulled. “She’s not feeling well.” Cassidy moved to step past him, but he reached out and snagged her shoulder. He couldn’t let her walk away again. Not this time.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, emotion mucking up his throat. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it from happening. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.”
Her full lips parted in surprise as she stared up at him. “Seriously?” Her sigh condemned his ignorance. “I don’t blame you for Cash’s death, Levi.”
“Well, you obviously blame me for something,” he shot back before she walked away. This was the closest thing they’d had to a real conversation in years. “You’ve been giving me shit ever since I came back, so I just assumed…”
“Cash’s death was an accident,” she said, her voice gentling. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could go back.” It had just been him and Cash out the corral that day. Training, trying to one-up each other like always. They’d done it so many times. But his friend had lost his grip and slid off the back of the bull, getting trampled before Levi could save him.
“None of us can go back,” Cassidy said, her eyes lowering to the ground. “We all had to move on. It wasn’t as easy for some of us as it was for others.” Her gaze targeted his. “Some of us are still trying to move on.”
The words jabbed him. Yeah. He’d moved on. He hadn’t been able to face everything in Topaz Falls after Cash’s death, so he’d left as soon as he could. Was that why she couldn’t stand him?
“I have to go,” she said, before he could find the courage to ask. “I need to get Mom home.” Without a goodbye, she hurried across the parking lot and got into her car.
“Wow, you sure know what to say to a woman.” Lance walked over. His eldest brother never missed an opportunity to give him a hard time. “I think she was actually jogging to get away from you.”
"Not in the
mood right now.” He turned to walk away, but Lance followed on his heels.
“Why does it bother you so much? So she doesn’t like you. Who cares?”
He paused. Why indeed. “Cass is…” Special. There. He said it. Okay, he thought it. She was special to him. They’d grown up together. He’d been a part of her family. And there was a time she’d liked him a whole lot.
His brother’s eyes narrowed. “Cass is what?” he asked suspiciously.
He and his brothers had come a long way in the last year and a half, but Lance didn’t need to know what he thought of Cass. If Levi told him how he really felt, he’d never hear the end of it. “She’s a friend. She was a friend,” he clarified. Once. They’d been close. They shared a history and a deep grief. Instead of bringing them together, that’s what stood between them.
But maybe it didn’t have to.
Acknowledgments
This is my favorite part of every book I write! When I finish a project, nothing means more to me than taking the time to recognize all of the people who continue to help, encourage, and inspire me on this journey.
First, to my readers, I love how stories bring people together and give us a chance to share a special connection. Thank you for faithfully reading and for reaching out to share your own stories and thoughts and insights. I treasure each word.
The team at Forever continues to amaze me. It’s incredible to work with such a diligent, talented, and creative group of people. Special thanks to Megha Parekh for knowing how to fix all the things, and for the smiley faces on my revisions.
Thank you to Suzie Townsend and Sara Stricker at New Leaf Literary for making sure I get to write more books.
To Julie Pech, owner of the real Chocolate Therapist in Downtown Littleton—thank you for allowing me to borrow your brand for this series! And thank you even more for making the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted. Seriously. You all need to try the Down by the Sea Salt bar. That’s what gets me through my deadlines.
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