“Why are you staring?” she asked.
He ignored her question and posed one of his own. “Why you fucking with a nigga that can’t drop you off at your doorstep?” Ethic asked, his calm demeanor not revealing any emotion in his tone.
“Why do you care?” Raven asked in confusion. Her body was beginning to feel sluggish as she came down off of her cocaine high, and she did not have time for Ethic to be butting into her business.
“I don’t ... I just think that you should,” he responded bluntly. “Your man is a jack boy. I had my people check him out after what went down at the party.”
“You’re going through an awful lot of trouble for someone who doesn’t care,” she commented, and folded her arms across her chest. “I don’ t care how he gets his paper as long as he gets it. I like him and he doesn’t think I’m too young to be his girl. Besides, he had nothing to do with what happened. He was with me the entire time,” she defended.
Ethic smirked and shook his head. “Open your eyes, little girl.”
Tired of hearing him speak, Raven reached for the door. “Just mind your business. You already told me you’re not interested in me. I found someone who is. So me and you, we really don’t have anything to talk about. You do you and I’ll do me,” Raven stated as she got out and closed the door.
Ethic got out of the car to go after her. She was halfway across the street before he caught up with her. He grabbed her by the arm and turned her toward him, pulling her closely, so that he didn’t have to speak too loudly. “Look, Raven, I don’t want to see you out in the streets with that nigga, Mizan. I’ve heard about how he gets down and I have no love for a stick up nigga. I’ve got a lot of money invested with your pops, and if he’ s constantly worried about you then his mind ain’t on what it should be on, n’ah mean? I’m not trying to get caught slipping, and if I even think your little boyfriend barking up my tree, I’ma snuff his lights out.” He looked Raven up and down. “Nigga got you out here climbing out of windows and getting in cars on corners like a ho, and that’ s the type of nigga you’re feeling? You should follow your own advice and be more selective of who you spend your time with, ma.”
He was standing so close to her that she could smell the peppermint on his breath. He made her nervous, and the harsh way he came at her made her eyes water. The fact that it bothered Ethic to see her with Mizan made her heart flutter nervously. She didn’t want to pull away from him. It felt too good to be in his space, but she did it anyway. It was clear that he wasn’t interested, so she couldn’t understand why it was so much of a problem for him to see her with another dude.
“I’m not a little girl. I can handle myself. Mizan isn’t who you think he is,”she replied.
Ethic chuckled slightly as he rubbed the top of his head. “I guess you learned a lot about him in the short time you’ve known him,” he replied sarcastically, making her feel stupid.
“Why are you so mean?” she asked. “You talk to me like I’m beneath you or something, but you want me to listen to you when it comes to my man?” she scoffed, and waved her hand in dismissal.
“Your man?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah, my man,” she stated firmly as she stormed away.
“Raven?” Ethic called out.
She stopped and turned to face him. “What?” she answered with teary eyes.
“I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. I just want you to be careful. You’re too green, ma. You’re a target simply because of who you are.
Raven put her hand on her hip and looked at him, baffled. “You sure talk about me like you know me. Did you get all of that in the short time you have known me? You must forget, I don’t know you any better than I know him. So who says you are so trustworthy?”
She walked away and climbed up to her bedroom. When she turned to look out the window, Ethic had gotten back into his car. She pushed him out of her mind and went to sleep.
Chapter Five
Raven pulled up to Nikki’s house and honked her horn. She came running out, and hopped into the car.
“Hey, bitch, what’s up? Nikki greeted, as they pulled away.
“I saw Mizan last night,” Raven said. She couldn’t wait to fill her best friend in on the amazing night she had.
“What? How?”
“He came and got me ... We went back to his place,”Raven said vaguely.
“And, bitch?”Nikki grilled, waiting for Raven to say more.
“And nothing. You don’t need to know all my business,”Raven replied with laughter, knowing that the suspense was killing Nikki.
“Oh, you know you coming better than that,” Nikki said as she leaned her back against the passenger door so that she was facing her best friend. “Did you fuck him?”she asked.
“Not exactly.”Raven stated.
“Oh my God, you did! Tell me everything,” she said, eager to know the juicy details.
Raven shook her head and replied, “Good girls never tell.”
As she pulled up to Hamady High School, Nikki pointed to the rear of the parking lot.
“Well, you did something right, because there go your boy right there,”she stated.
Raven parked her car next to Mizan’s and smiled. “What are you doing here?”she asked sweetly.
“I wanted to see you.”He rested his arm on the top of his steering wheel. “Come take a ride with me for a minute?”
Raven looked at Nikki and said, “If anybody asks, just say you drove my car to school. I’ll meet you back here after the last class.”
Nikki smiled knowingly. “A’ight, girl, you know I got you. Hey, Mizan.”
Mizan nodded, and waited for Raven to switch cars before speeding off. Mizan knew that the way to win Raven over would be to shower her with his time and affection. Financially there was nothing he could give her. He knew that by being the daughter of Benny Atkins she had everything she could ever want, so he wouldn’t try to compete with that. He was going to give her what she obviously craved: attention. Mizan made her feel like his world revolved around her. Every move was calculated carefully in an intricate plot to get her to trust him. He wanted her to be so wrapped up in him that she would do anything he asked.
They spent the entire day together chilling and getting high together at his house. Being there with him made her feel like an adult. There were no prying eyes, no boundaries. When she was with Mizan he respected her and let her do what she wanted. She loved the freedom and valued every minute she spent with him. The day ended too soon for her, but she knew she had no choice but to leave. She had to meet Nikki back at the school once classes were over.
“I don’t want to leave you,”she whispered as she lay on his chest.
“Then stay.”
“I can’t. I have to get home before my parents wonder where I am, but I want to see you again. Soon,”she whispered. “Can you meet me at the school tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”He kissed her forehead. Mizan was going to have to put a lot of effort into Raven in order for his plan to work, but he was confident that in the end it would all be worth it.
This routine went on for weeks, and the closer she got to Mizan the more she pushed her father away. She was tired of being controlled, and by disobeying Benjamin, she felt like she was proving her independence. She didn’t notice that she was simply shifting the control to Mizan. On top of that, the daily weed and cocaine use was slowly turning her out. She found herself sneaking out with Mizan every chance she got. He kept her high and happy. She was quickly falling in love, and when she was not around him, she felt sick. She had a serious love jones for the young thug. She was ostracizing herself from her family but it only made her more dependent on Mizan. She was crazy over him and she told herself that no one was going to stop them from being together. She had no idea that she was mistaking infatuation for love, but in her mind they were one and the same. Now that she had her mind set on being with Mizan, she was determined not to let anyone tear them apart.
>
“Come and take a ride with me, Rae,”Justine requested as she popped her head into her daughter’s room.
“Where are we going?”Raven asked. She got up and followed her mother out of the house.
“We’re going to the spa. I want to talk to you about something.”She lowered her sunglasses onto her face to conceal her eyes. Raven stared out the window, knowing that if her mother wanted to talk, something had to be wrong.
“How was school today?”Justine asked.
“It was good. I’m ready for it to be over, though. I can’t wait for graduation next month.”
“Raven, I’ve been around the block more times than you can count. Don’t lie to me, little girl. I received a call from your counselor today. You haven’t been to school in the past three weeks. Now, you’ve been leaving the house every morning. Where have you been going?”Justine asked.
Raven tried to think of a reasonable excuse, but Justine raised her hand to stop her. She could see the wheels turning in her daughter’s head. “Don’t lie to me, Raven. I know you’ve been sneaking around with Mizan.”
“I wouldn’t have to sneak if Daddy would just be reasonable.”
“Your father has his reasons for everything he does. He’s just trying to protect you, Rae,”Justine argued. “I can’t believe you would do something like this. You barely even know this boy.”
“I know him enough to know that I love him, and y’all can’t make me stop seeing him. I’ll be grown in two months. I can do what I want,” Raven replied adamantly.
“Love? Raven, you don’t even know what love is yet,”Justine said exasperated. “You’re too young to even think of making that type of commitment.”
“You were my age when you met Daddy,”Raven shot back.
Justine gripped the steering wheel of the car tightly as she shook her head in disappointment. “Raven, things were different back then. When I was seventeen I was on my own and paying bills, not living underneath my parentsroof and lying to get my way. You have a month left of high school. Why don’t you focus on graduating? I know you think you love this boy, but it’s not the real thing, Rae. I promise you by the end of the summer you will forget all about him.”
“Are you going to tell Daddy?”Raven asked.
“Girl, your father knows everything that goes on underneath his roof. I don’t lie to my husband. He already knows and you can deal with him when we get home,” Justine said as she finally arrived at the spa. She opened the door and got out, noticing that Raven was frozen in her seat like a deer in headlights.
“You might as well get out and come enjoy this spa, because you aren’t going anywhere besides school anytime soon. Ain’t no point in pouting now. You wanted to act grown and go see that boy, now you have to be a grown woman and accept the consequences.”
“Raven, get in here,”Benjamin’s voice boomed as soon as she stepped in the door. Raven’s mother rubbed her back soothingly as she escorted Raven to the study. Ethic was sitting in a chair across from Benjamin, and he stood when he saw her enter the room. “Ethic, can you excuse us for a minute? I need to speak with my daughter. Go and grab something to eat out the kitchen. Make yourself at home.” Ethic nodded and left the room as Raven nervously sat in front of her father. Benjamin took his time before he spoke, and sat back in his chair as he loosened his necktie.
“I thought I made myself clear when I told you this the first time, but obviously I did not. I’m going to say this one more time. I don’t want to hear about you being around Mizan again.” He was reserved, his voice low and calm, but Raven could see his temples throbbing in rage. No one else would have known how upset he was, but Raven and Benjamin shared a special connection. She knew him well enough to see past his controlled demeanor.
“I love him, Daddy,” Raven whispered.
Her voice was so low he barely heard her, but a statement so ludicrous he could not miss. “Then you’re going to love the nigga to death, Raven, because if you keep fucking with him, I’m going to kill him,” Benjamin threatened, fully serious on carrying through if need be.
“Daddy! You’re not being fair. You can’t tell me who to love,” Raven defended, her voice quivering. Her father was the only person she could not stand up to.
“As long as you’re living underneath this roof you will not disobey me, Raven. Fair has nothing to do with this. I’m trying to keep you safe,” he said.
“Then maybe I don’t need to live under your roof!” Raven shouted defiantly, causing Benjamin to stand to his feet.
“Excuse me!” he yelled, raising his voice at her for the first time in his life.
“I’m not going to stop seeing him! You can threaten me all you want. As a matter of fact, I’m out of here!” she screamed as she stormed out of his office.
Benjamin was so upset that he swept all the papers and documents from his desk in one motion. “Fuck!” he screamed as he put his hands on his waistline and paced the room.
Justine came rushing in. “Benjamin, what did you do?” she asked, near tears. “Go upstairs and stop her! She’s our baby.”
“Let her go. She wants to be grown so I’ma let her get out there and see what it’s like. She’ll be back home by tomorrow morning,” Benjamin stated.
Ethic sat in the living room as he heard the family argue. Morgan peeked her head inside.
“Ethic? Where is Raven going?” she signed to him as she leaned against the door frame.
Ethic, being knowledgeable in many things, knew sign language and surprised her when he signed back, “She’s just going out for the night. Don’ t worry, pretty girl.” He patted the seat next to him, and Morgan smiled as she rushed to sit by his side.
“Is she going to go live with her boyfriend? Morgan signed with a worried expression.
“Nah, shorty, she not going to stay with him,” Ethic replied.
He could still hear Justine and Benjamin arguing as Raven descended the stairs with a suitcase in one hand and her keys in the other. Benjamin came into view.
“Leave the car key here,” he said, speaking sternly as he stood with one hand in his pocket and the other over his mouth.
Raven stared at her father, and for the first time she found herself disgusted by him. She removed the car key and put it in his hand, and then removed her house key as well. “You can keep that, too. I won’t be needing it, she said as she stormed out the front door.
Tears came to Benjamin’s eyes as he fought to control his emotions. He was heartbroken that Raven was leaving, but he stubbornly refused to stop her. He had never been in conflict with his daughter. In all of her seventeen years on earth she had never disrespected him so bluntly. As he pictured her face in his mind, everything in him wanted to go after her, but this was not something he would concede. He had seen many young girls led astray by dealing with the wrong man. Raven’s judgment was off when it came to Mizan and he would never approve of their relationship. After ten minutes of pacing back and forth, he looked at Ethic and said, “Go make sure she is okay. That’s my baby girl,” he stated, becoming emotional as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Ethic nodded and began to leave when Benjamin’s voice stopped him. “Ethic, don’t let her know that I sent you.”
Justine grabbed her coat and went to follow Ethic, but Benjamin grabbed her hand. “No, Benny! No! I’m going after my daughter. You can’t just send her up out of here like this. What if something happens to my baby?”
“Nothing’s going to happen, Benjamin stated. “But she has to learn that she cannot disrespect us underneath this roof. That boy is bad news.
“And you’re just going to run her into his arms by acting like this!” she argued.
“Justine!” he said sternly. “I got it. Go and put Morgan to bed. Have I ever let you down?”
Justine’s reserve melted as hot tears burned her eyes, threatening to spill over. “No,” she whispered.
“Then trust me,” he said. He nodded for Ethic to leave, and then watched his wife scoop Morgan up and car
ry her upstairs.
She stopped midway and turned around. “If something happens to Raven, I will never forgive you, Benjamin. Never.”
I’ll never forgive myself, he thought as he watched his beautiful wife turn her back on him and ascend the staircase.
Raven cried hysterically as she carried her heavy suitcase down the suburban street. I can’t believe he would take my keys, she thought, outraged. She wasn’s even two blocks away from her house when Ethic pulled up to her. She stuck her middle finger up at him to let him know that she wasn’t trying to hear shit he had to say.
“Get in the car,” he said, ignoring her childish antics as he rolled slowly next to her. She looked straight ahead, ignoring him. “Raven, get in the car. Where you going? You just said fuck your pops to be with a nigga who don’t give a damn about you.”
Raven ignored him and carried on. She didn’t care that she had no destination. The further away she got from her father, the better.
“Where you going?” he asked. “You think ol boy gon take you in now?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, Ethic sighed in frustration. “Just get in, ma. Why you got me out here like Keith Sweat, begging you and shit?” he asked.
Raven couldn’s help but laugh slightly as she stopped walking. She put her suitcase on the ground and stood with her hand on her hip as she looked tentatively at Ethic.
“Get in,” he said.
Knowing that she had no place to go she sighed and lifted her suitcase as she climbed into the car. “Don’t take me home. I’m not going back there,” she said stubbornly.
Ethic didn’t respond as he pulled away from the curb.
He let her into his house and threw his keys down on the coffee table. “Look, I’m not your keeper. I can’t tell you, what to do, but if you thinking about having that nigga come and scoop you don’t let him know where I live. You take a cab over there or something. ’Cuz if he come down my block, it’s gon’ be a problem, a’ight?”
Moth to a Flame Page 7
