Rachel reached her hand forward and softly touched the side of Ben’s head. Then she leaned in, slowly and confidently, and kissed him right on the lips. Ben’s entire body hummed with hot, lustful potential.
She pulled back before the boundary had been entirely broken, and then waved to him as she walked back over to the bathroom. Ben scratched his head and looked at Emma, whose expression was smoldering with fury.
“That didn’t seem like a very motherly kiss,” she whispered.
“I told you, Rachel isn’t…” Ben stopped in midsentence as I tried to think of how to explain it.
If she’s not like a mom to me, then what exactly is she?
He ended up just shrugging his shoulders. After rushing upstairs to throw some clothes on, he and Emma headed out through the front door and started walking to school.
The walk felt normal, almost too normal. There was something about Emma that made Ben feel little unnerved. She was right there beside him, walking with cute little steps as though she was any other girl. Her memories, what she knew, gave her a power over him. He didn’t feel as though she was taking advantage of it, but it was still there, impossible for him to ignore, and impossible to not take into account.
"Ben," said Emma. "You don't have to be nervous around me."
He smiled at her and shook his head. It was hard for him to know whether or not he could even keep his emotions hidden from her. She apparently knew him better than he knew himself, but Ben still struggled with trusting her and being entirely forthcoming with his thoughts.
Why won't she just come right out and tell me? Who was I before?
"It's just going to take some getting used to," said Ben. "I feel like my entire life has turned on its head. I'm not sure if I am who I think I am anymore."
Emma reached over and took his hand in hers again. She looked at him with understanding eyes, and for a moment Ben felt a glimmer of a memory float on the horizon of his mind.
"Everything will make sense to you once you start to remember," said Emma. "I know how hard it must be. And I know... Well, I know that it affects more people than just you."
Ben couldn't stop thoughts of Rachel from entering his mind. She was the real victim here. He was on the verge of getting his memories, his life back. She was on the verge of losing him, or at least that must be what it seemed like to her.
Before Ben could contemplate situation any further, footsteps sounded on the concrete from behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see exactly who he’d expected. Danny was headed their way, with a self-pleased smile across his face.
"The two of you are walking to school together now, too?" Danny was looking at them in a slightly exasperated expression, as though he couldn't believe how close they gone in a single day. "Don't tell me that you slept over at his house, Emma, did you?"
Ben felt his face against heat up. He turned to Emma, who was also blushing, but with a strangely flattered looking smile along with it.
"Shut up, Danny," said Ben. "Don't project your dirty mind onto the two of us!"
Danny laughed and seamlessly merged into the group of them.
“But seriously, though,” said Danny. “The two of you have gotten awfully close, awfully fast. Are you guys…?”
Ben glared at his friend. The question was not one that he wanted to have to answer, not yet. On the surface, Emma was everything he could want in a girl. Gorgeous to the point of having her pick of guys, and yet still interested in him for who he was on the inside.
It’s the fact that she knows what’s on the inside better than I do that makes it weird.
“We’re just friends, Danny,” said Ben. “Emma just moved here, it’s still a little early for that kind of thing.”
He looked over at Emma, as though expecting her to agree with him, but she said nothing. A deliberately awkward silence hung on the air for a long moment, and then Danny began cracking jokes. Ben forced himself to laugh at them and pretended as though everything was still the same as it had been for the past four years.
CHAPTER 7
“I’ll see you at lunch, man,” said Danny. “If I were you, I’d head straight to class. Cliff isn’t too thrilled after what happened yesterday.”
Ben couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he watched Danny disappear around the corner of the school’s hallway. He hadn’t given it much thought, but the memory of Emma’s lunchtime kiss the day before felt like revenge after all of the beatings the wrestler had given him over the course of his high school career.
Emma was still walking next to him, holding her hands behind her back and swaying in a little closer with every other step.
“I have gym class first thing,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you after school, if you still want to hang out?”
The way she asked the question was timid and meek to the point of being cute, coming from a beautiful teenage girl. Ben nodded and smiled at her, but there was a voice in the back of his head that was impossible to ignore.
You have to get her to tell you more.
“Emma,” he said. “What I said before, about the two of us being friends… I meant it.”
The look on her face was crestfallen. Ben held up one of his hands and continued, feeling as though leaving it at that without explanation would bring her to tears.
“I mean, you remember me, right?” He scratched his head, choosing his words carefully. “I can tell that I meant something to you. And I’m sure you meant something to me, too. But if you don’t tell me, if you don’t help me remember, it’s as though we’re starting over from square one.”
Emma had a conflicted expression on her face, one that Ben struggled to make sense of. It looked as though she wanted to agree with him, but at the same time, there was something holding her back.
“That’s… true,” she said. “I guess I was hoping that you’d start to remember on your own, just by being around me. Or at least, I hoped that, well, the feelings might still be there.”
She took one of his hands into hers and held it for a moment. Ben did feel something, a flutter in his chest, and warmth in his heart as he looked into her eyes, but not the depth of emotion that he knew Emma was hoping for.
“I need to know, Emma,” said Ben. “Please…”
“I’ll tell you, Ben,” she said. “But not all at once. We should take it slow. It’s going to be a lot for you to take in, and it would probably be better if we took it-”
“Well look what we have here!” Cliff’s voice sounded down the school hallway, coming from the direction of Ben’s locker. He saw the wrestling captain’s posse before seeing the boy himself, hidden behind several fit, lanky teammates.
Ben stopped right where he was and waited for the group to approach. His first impulse was to do what he usually did and stand his ground with as much righteous indignation as he could muster. But Emma was with him, adding a complication into the mix.
“I’m headed to my locker, Cliff, and then to class,” said Ben. “You should do the same. Midterms are coming up in a few weeks.”
“Midterms, that’s cute.” The group slowly formed a circle around the two of them, and Cliff stepped forward and into Ben’s face. “Your new little girlfriend is pretty cute, too. What’s her name again? Ericka? Erin?”
Emma smiled at Cliff.
“It’s Emma,” she said. “And I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to apologize for what happened at lunch yesterday.”
Wait, what?
Emma was looking at Cliff with a strange gleam in her eyes, and stepped away from Ben and towards the wrestling jock. Ben had never seen Cliff look so pleased with himself before.
“Oh, no apology needed,” said Cliff. “I admit, I came on a little strong. How about we go and get to know each other a little better down in the quad?”
“That sounds nice.” Emma reached her hand out and took Cliff’s, and Ben felt his heart sink as the entire world came crashing down around him.
And then, in an instant, Cliff was screaming o
ut in pain. He held up his hand and revealed an index finger that was grotesquely broken, folded at the side like a snapped twig.
“Fuck!” yelled Cliff. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Emma pulled Ben forward and out of the group, which was momentarily stunned by what had just happened. He was as shocked as they were and stared at Emma with a greater feeling of suspicion than he’d ever felt before.
What the hell did she just do?
“Sorry, but there was no way he was going to leave us alone.” The two of them stopped in front of Emma’s locker, and she quickly began to grab her books as the first bell sounded over the intercom.
“Emma, you broke his finger,” said Ben. “He’s not going to leave me or you alone after that!”
“Whether he leaves us alone, or not,” she said. “He won’t forget the pain.”
Ben was at a loss for words. He just stared at Emma, the beautiful, dangerous mystery of a girl that was suddenly a part of his life. She caught his gaze as she closed her locker and leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips.
“I’m still new here, I can’t be too late for first period,” she said as she walked away. “See you after school, Ben!”
He silently watched her go, and then turned and hurried to his own locker. The hallway was empty by the time he’d gotten his books out for his first class, and he did his best to speed across the school and to the room.
Mrs. Mead was the English teacher, and luckily, she was more forgiving of late arrivals than most. Everyone else had already settled into their seats when Ben stepped in through the door, but Mrs. Mead just sighed and waved her hand toward his desk.
“Sit down, Mr. Faye,” she said. “Don’t start making this a habit.”
Ben nodded, and took his seat. He pulled out his textbook and listened as the teacher continued with her lesson.
“So what was Kent’s punishment after he was recaptured? Who can explain just why it was significant?” She drew a table on the board with chalk and waited for one of the girls in front to raise her hand.
“Uhm, he was whipped,” said the girl.
“Not just whipped, but bound and lashed,” said the teacher.
Bound… and lashed?
Mrs. Mead went on talking, but Ben couldn’t hear her. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt beads of sweat begin to form on his forehead. Suddenly, the classroom faded to black, and he was somewhere else.
***
“Bind his hands!” A commanding male voice echoed in his ear. He was struggling, and it felt as though more than just his life were on the line.
“Don’t! He’s sorry, he’ll apologize, just leave him alone!” A girl’s voice, full of panic but also strangely familiar to him, came from his left.
“He will be sorry when I’m done with him,” said the man. “Don’t worry, his daddy will still be able to recognize him when I’m done. I’m sure the photos of sweet little Brandon all bloodied and broken will go a long way towards convincing him to play ball.”
Ben tried to scream, only to find that something was in his mouth. It felt like he was suffocating, and terror began to course through his veins as naturally as blood.
“You’ll want to close your eyes for this, boy,” said the man. “It’s going to be painful. But given the pain you’ve caused us over the past few days, it’s only fair.”
“No!” The girl’s voice was almost drowned out by her wet, body wracking sobs. “Please, don’t hurt him! Please!”
The pain was indescribable. It was enough to make it impossible to think or do anything other than suffer. Ben wasn’t sure if he was screaming or not.
Where… am I?
***
“Get him to the nurse’s office, now!” Mrs. Mead’s voice was worried and urgent. Ben could feel cold tile underneath his head.
“I’m… fine.” The words were almost inaudible as they left his mouth, and then everything went black.
CHAPTER 8
My back… is on fire.
“He still looks like he’s in pain. It’s against school policy for me to give him any pain killers without consent from his legal guardian, but if this keeps up, he’s going to need to go to the emergency room.”
Ben recognized the voice as belonging to Ms. Langston, the school nurse. His teeth were clenched, but he pulled a deep, deliberate breath in through them and tried to focus on what was going on.
“I think he’ll be okay if he just rests for a little bit,” said Emma, from the other side of the bed.
“Can you give me any more information on what triggered this episode?” asked Ms. Langston.
“I wasn’t there,” said Emma. “I only came because…”
Wait, what is Emma doing here? What am I doing here?
Ben slowly willed his eyes open and tried to sit up on the clean, white sheet covered cot that he was lying on. A hand came to rest on his chest, and he closed his eyes again as the bright fluorescent lights made his pupils hurt.
“Don’t try to get up just yet,” said Ms. Langston. “You need to rest. You fainted during your first period class.”
“I… fainted?” Ben tried to think back to what had been happening, but his mind seized up as though he was trying to remember a painful, headache inducing nightmare. His back still hurt, and he could just barely remember the whip and the evil man’s voice.
“Ben, it’s okay,” said Emma. “The nurse is right. You should try to sleep for a bit.”
“Emma…” Ben’s thoughts were hazy, but a single fact hung on his mind that eclipsed both the confusion and the pain.
Emma was there. Emma knows what happened, and why I can’t remember.
“I’m fine, really.” Ben forced the lie out and his body forward into a sitting position. His eyes began to focus, and the first thing that they saw was the worried expression on Emma’s face.
“Ben, you aren’t fine,” she said. “You need to rest for a bit longer.”
The nurse was talking on her cell phone over in the corner of the room. She hung it up after a moment and turned back towards Ben and Emma.
“I have to head down to the lunchroom to check on a student that claims to have a peanut allergy.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked at Emma. “If he says he’s okay enough to go back to class, then it’s fine.”
“But he’s not!” Emma crossed her arms in protest.
“Then try to convince him to stay here,” said the nurse. “Whatever it was seems to have passed, at this point.”
Ms. Langston left through the door and closed it behind her. Ben struggled further up on the cot, turning to the side and putting his feet on the ground against the protesting looks of Emma.
“Ben, you need to rest for a bit longer before heading back to class.” She held the back of one of her hands up to his forehead, as though checking him for a fever.
“I’m not headed back to class,” said Ben. “I’m getting out of here for the day. And uh, I want you to come with me.”
Emma’s face lit up, as though she was a little flattered by his suggestion.
I hope she doesn’t get the wrong idea.
“Are you sure?” asked Emma. “I mean, you’re heading home to rest, right?”
Ben shook his head and started walking towards the door. His feet were still a little shaky, and his head throbbed with every step.
“I thought we could just walk together and talk,” he said. “There is a lot I need to ask you. We can head over to your place. Rachel might stop in for lunch if we go to mine.”
Emma nodded slowly. She looked a little worried about something, but Ben ignored it.
“Alright,” she said. “That’s… fine, Ben.”
The nurse’s office was near the school’s front entrance, but Ben and Emma still had to walk by the door of the main office in order to get there. He held Emma’s hand in his, and pulled her along quickly as they went by it, not stopping to glance in through the clear windows or let anyone inside glance out.
It was a ni
ce day outside, bright and sunny with only a hint of wind. Ben didn’t say anything until they’d reached the far side of the parking lot and were walking into town.
I have to approach this carefully.
“Emma,” he said softly. “When I passed out during class, my English teacher was talking about the book we’re reading in class.”
Emma didn’t say anything, but looked over at him with sympathetic eyes.
“She was asking us about a scene in it where one of the characters was captured and whipped.” He paused and felt a hot chill run up his spine. “I remember being whipped. And I remember… that you were there, with me.”
Emma’s hand squeezed his tightly. Ben looked over at her, but it was impossible to tell what she was thinking from her expression.
“Do you remember anything else?” she asked, in a quiet voice.
“I remember the storm, the night that I washed up,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Somehow, I get the feeling that you were there for that, too.”
Emma started walking faster, almost as though she was physically trying to get away from Ben’s line of questioning. She never let go of his hand, and if anything her grip on it only tightened.
“Ben, we didn’t just know each other, back before you lost your memory,” she said. “We were… close. We were really close.”
“I figured as much,” said Ben. “Please, stop beating around the bush. Just tell me what happened. Tell me what it is that I’ve forgotten!”
Emma was silent for a couple of seconds. She turned around a street corner into a residential area and pulled Ben along with her. Finally, she turned and looked back at him over her shoulder.
“You were whipped because you tried to escape, Ben,” she said.
“Escape from who? Was I a prisoner, or a hostage, or… what?” Ben’s heart was beating faster in his chest.
I’m so close to the truth, please Emma!
She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. Ben could tell that her aloofness was an act, but the reasons behind it were still a mystery to him. Anger ran hot through his blood as he stared at the pretty girl, a strange enigma of secrets and obsession.
Lost Memories (Forbidden Romance) Page 5
