by Kris Norris
* * * *
“No! Don’t touch me!”
The sudden harsh sound of her own voice jolted McKenna from sleep, bolting her upright as she jerked against the blanket. It tangled in her arms, spiking a wave of panic, before she tossed it aside, chest heaving, fear weighing down the air until just the effort needed to breathe seemed monumental. She palmed her head in her hands, hoping to banish the damning images when feet padded along the wooden floor, the warm glow of a lamp followed by the dip of the bed on either side. She didn’t need to raise her head to know Ethan sat on her left, Jude her right. She could feel them. Smell their individual scents as they leaned in, a hand from each man landing on her shoulders.
A voice in her head warned her that this was simply further proof they were more than men—more than a tight fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach. That the connection she’d felt from the start had grown far beyond any reasonable explanation, other than that they were mates. Hell, she’d heard her great-grandmother talk about the side effects of the bond from an early age—how with shifters, the partners simply knew when it was right—but McKenna had never given it much credence. Not when the ability had seemingly vanished within her family. The fact she’d inherited some unusual traits had always just been a coincidence…until now.
Jude shuffled closer, gently dragging her against him, one hand cupping her waist as the other stroked the length of her hair. She waited for her body to stiffen, for her reflexes to push him away. But instead of fear, a warm, soothing sensation settled in her core, and she leaned into his chest, savoring the way his simple presence chased away the images that had woken her. She reached out, linking her fingers through Ethan’s, content to sit there sheltered between the men.
Jude sighed, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Another nightmare?”
She shrugged. “Didn’t realize I’d already had one.”
“The other night. The fever…”
“Fever wasn’t the reason. I get them most nights.”
His body tensed, his breathing roughening. “Don’t suppose you want to tell us about them?”
She pulled away enough to meet his gaze, nodding in Ethan’s direction. “Didn’t I tell you already? Ethan said I talked a lot.”
Ethan shook his head. “You mentioned something about Bret and Frank killing everyone. Something about Bisbee, but that’s all. No details, and you weren’t in any shape for us to ask.” He reached out his free hand and cupped her chin, giving her fingers a squeeze at the same time. “If you’re not ready to tell us what happened, we’ll understand. But it sounds as if it’s tearin’ you up inside.”
Jude dropped a chaste kiss on her cheek. “You’re not alone in this anymore. We know it’s a lot for you to take in at once…being mates and all. But we’re here.”
She snorted, glancing down at the bed. “Not a pretty story to tell.”
Ethan lifted her chin until their gazes clashed. “Nothin’ you say will change how we feel about you. What we share goes beyond that. Though it might make us want to hunt those boys down the first chance we get.”
“Only if you promise to take me along with you.”
Ethan smiled, and her stomach dropped. How had she not noticed the perfect symmetry of his face, the way his hair teased his eyes when it wasn’t spiked up in every direction. The rough calluses on his hands, which were at direct odds with the smooth feel of his fingers along her skin.
Ethan brushed his thumb along her jaw. “We’ve both seen you shoot, and while we’ll concede you’re more than impressive, don’t think for a moment either of us would willingly put you in danger. And yeah, we know that’s being overprotective, but wolves are protective by nature, sweetheart. Might as well get used to it.” He leaned in closer. “However, should you have to defend yourself…”
She huffed, though she had to admit, a part of her found his claim comforting. She hadn’t felt as if she belonged since she was fifteen, and just the thought that there were two men invested in her wellbeing made her pulse quicken.
She raised a brow. “And you two will be in for the ride of your lives if you think I’ll stand by and wait for you to rescue me.”
Jude chuckled. “Would you concede to having us fight with you? Side-by-side?”
Her heart flip-flopped this time. “As long as you don’t slow me down.”
“We’ll do our best.” His expression sobered. “The dream?”
Indecision clawed at her, Jude’s hand brushing along her hair swaying her decision. She released a weary breath, wondering if they’d truly feel the same once she’d revealed even a hint of her past.
Ethan tsked. “You’re still doubtin’ us.”
She stared at him. “How…”
“Sweetheart. Mates. Though it’s also written across your face.”
“Can you blame me? Do you know what they did?”
“That’s why we’re askin’. The things you said… Shit. I think you need to tell us as badly as we need to know.”
She ran a shaky hand through her hair.
Ethan nudged her. “I’ll take a leap of faith and guess that Bret and Frank threatened your family?”
Anger burned through her self-doubts. “They didn’t just threaten my family. They killed them. All of them. Stole what they could, left me and my sister for dead. But after what they did to her…” She rubbed her hands along her skin. “She would have found a way to kill herself if she hadn’t bled to death, first.”
“They raped her, didn’t they?”
Bile crested her throat. “Repeatedly. And in ways far more cruel…” She clenched her jaw. “She was a few years older than me. Blonde. Curvy. The kind of beauty men noticed. When they grabbed her… She screamed the entire time. Then it just stopped. As if she’d never been there. I remember staring at her, but…she was already gone. I guess her body finally gave up sometime after they’d left.”
Jude tensed, his hand pausing halfway down her hair. “Is that when they turned their attentions on you?”
She nodded, her breath lodged in her chest, her throat too tight to get the words out.
“Fuck.” Jude’s hand moved down her back, his grip on her waist tightening. “How old were you?”
“Fifteen.”
“Bloody hell. And they took you after everything they’d done to your sister? While she was obviously lying there, dying?”
“Jude. Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Care?”
“I told you it wasn’t a pretty story.”
He mumbled under his breath, finally giving her a squeeze. “I promise you, those bastards will pay for what they did. Don’t think we didn’t notice the knife wound on your side. They did that, too, didn’t they? Left you for dead, bleeding. Broken.” He paused, his muscles tensing at her guarded nod. “How many times did they—”
“More than I want to admit to.”
“I’ll fucking kill them. We both will. No hesitation. No regrets.”
“That goes against being a marshal. Besides, I’ve taken care of that. Most of it, anyway. But now you know why I’ve spent the last decade preparing. Learnin’ how to shoot, to fight. Huntin’ them down. When I woke a few days after they’d left me there, bleeding in the mud, the knife they’d used lying on the ground beside me, I made a choice.”
He took a deep breath, seemingly pulling his emotions back. “Hell of a choice to make.” His fingers brushed over her scar. “Is that when you realized you were different?”
“I guess. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling much of anything. Haven’t since that day. Don’t stay long enough anywhere to do more than find my next target and move on.”
“Can’t say we blame you.”
“That’s not the point.” She tugged free of his hold, scooting off the bed. She took a few heavy steps away, stumbling against the wall before twisting to face them, one hand braced for balance. “I’m not the person I was. She died that day. What’s left…” She shook her head, waving at herself. “This is what I’v
e become.”
Ethan motioned to Jude as he slowly rose to his feet. “Nothin’ wrong with who you are.”
“You showed up at that saloon to arrest me for killing seven men. That’s not normal.”
“Those men aren’t normal. And as far as we’re concerned, you simply saved us the bother of killing those bastards ourselves. Because we would have. And we’ll challenge anyone still standing.”
“Because it’s justified or because I’m your mate and you don’t have a choice in the matter? Because it’s purely instinctual?”
Red flashed in Ethan’s eyes, the same shade she’d seen in the tavern. He took a few steps forward before his muscles flexed, and he fisted his hands by his side, visibly calming himself down. “You being our mate has nothing to do with the Wilson gang being outlaws or what form of justice their indiscretions deserve.”
Jude rolled off the other side, walking to the end of the bed. “I won’t lie. The animal part of me wants to rip their throats out for what they did to you. What they most likely did to other families, other women. But you’re right. The man inside knows they should be brought before a court. Tried for their crimes. And we’ll try to do that.”
Fear churned through her gut. “Then why not me? I’m just as guilty. Just as heartless.”
Pain creased Jude’s forehead, and he glanced at Ethan before taking what looked like a fortifying breath. “McKenna. You’re nothin’ like those men. What you did… Shit. It doesn’t even compare.”
“You don’t know that. What I’m capable of.”
“So if you’d managed to kill Bret and Frank the other night, then what? Are you going to stand there and tell us you’d line up the next string of men to kill? That it’s the act of killing that brings you pleasure now?”
“Of course not. It’s always been about them. About rightin’ a wrong.” She broke eye contact, the truth settling unforgivingly in her chest. “But it’s not what I thought it’d be.”
Footsteps padded closer before two hands grazed along her cheeks. She raised her gaze, staring at both men as they stood in front of her, expressions fixed. She felt the heat radiating off their bodies, the welcoming scent of their skin as their pale flesh gleamed in the wavering lamplight. Ethan held out his hand, and she reached for him before she could consider the consequences.
His arms wrapped around her, tucking her head into the crook of his shoulder as he drew a deep breath, a low sigh feathering past her ear as he exhaled. “I’ll be honest with you, sweetheart. Does being our mate affect our rationale? Yes. No way in hell we could ever willingly put you in danger. Right or wrong that’s simply the fact. But our wolves wouldn’t be drawn to you if there was nothing inside you but darkness. I’m bettin’ that killing those men, however justified it was in your mind, hasn’t helped bring you any peace. Hasn’t eased the pain, or made that hole inside you any better.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she closed them before they had a chance to escape. “I made a promise. But it’s killing me. A bit more each time, and I’m not sure if there’ll be anything left when I’m done.”
Jude moved in behind her, his hands landing on her hips. “I think your family would understand if you let it go now. You’ve done more than enough.” He leaned in closer, one of his hands rising to brush her hair back from her face. “You should rest. It’s the middle of the night and you’re not fully healed. Let us tuck you back in bed.”
She glanced at him, cringing when a few tears slipped free. “Once the nightmares start…”
He thumbed her cheek, wiping at her damp skin. “We can stay with you, if it’d help?”
She eased back, looking from Jude up to Ethan. “You’d do that, even though I’m not sure I’m ready to…”
“Darlin’. I’d like to think Ethan and I are capable of loving you for more than just sex. Wouldn’t speak much to our characters if we couldn’t. We’re bound to you, for life. Whether you ever want more than this—than simple contact that brings you comfort—won’t change that. We’ll still be your mates. Now climb into bed.”
Ethan released her, snagging her hand instead and leading her to the bed. He lifted her onto the mattress, waiting until she’d scooted into the middle before claiming the edge. He gave her a devastating smile, shuffling over then turning on his side, his back to her.
Jude motioned to Ethan. “Curl up into him.”
She bit her bottom lip, uncertainty prickling her skin before she rolled, wrapping one arm around Ethan’s ribs, her hand resting against his chest. Warmth spread through her, coiling tight in her belly as his heartbeat echoed inside her head. She closed her eyes, inhaling sharply when Jude pressed into her back, his hand mimicking her hold on Ethan.
“This okay? Not too much?”
Her chest tightened at the sincerity in his voice. “Just right.”
“Good. Now sleep.”
She glanced back at Jude. “Will you be here when I wake up?”
“Promise.”
She gave him a genuine smile, sinking into his embrace.
He chuckled, nuzzling her neck. “Stop thinkin’ and just sleep. You’ll know what to do when the time comes. Until then, we’ll keep you safe. That is if you don’t kill us first.”
She closed her eyes. Safe. She wasn’t sure such a place existed, but she liked the idea of it. Even more so if they kept their promise and stayed.
Chapter Six
Jude loped along the parched dirt, skirting in and out of the scrubby bushes dotting the landscape. Thunder rumbled overhead, the scent of rain heavy in the air. He’d been running for nearly two hours, doing laps around the surrounding area, checking scent markers for any sign Bret had discovered their location. But other than some hare and a couple of coyotes, nothing had crossed within miles of the homestead since they’d arrived.
His wolf slowed to a trot, sniffing the ground as he headed back toward the house. This was the third time today he’d ventured out, using the guise of protection to give his other half the freedom it needed to keep from breaking through his hold every time McKenna so much as glanced at him. They’d been holed up in the abandoned home for four days, and the constant pull was starting to take a toll. And not just on him. Ethan had been disappearing for longer runs with each passing day, and Jude knew the cost of being so close to their mate without being able to bond with her the way they needed was driving his friend mad.
His wolf snorted, stopping to paw at the ground in frustration. The poor animal didn’t understand the human part of loving. All it knew was that its mate was within reach, and Jude wasn’t doing a damn thing to satisfy his wolf’s desires.
He mentally told the creature to fuck off, looking up at the porch when the door to the homestead opened, McKenna’s lithe form silhouetted in the doorway. She padded out onto the wooden stoop, watching him in a way he hadn’t noticed before, and he couldn’t tell if she was nervous or excited. Ethan followed her out, standing several feet off as he leaned against a post, hands stuffed in his pockets, his mouth drawn tight. Jude could sense his tension, the constant battle to maintain their distance, as he stared at his mate, his obvious need etched in the fine lines on his face.
Jude stopped at the bottom of the steps, uncertain what move to make next. Though McKenna had seen him in wolf form that first night, she’d never witnessed either of them shift from one being to another, and he wasn’t sure whether to change or turn tail and run.
A gentle hum drew his attention as she walked to the stairs, slowly making her way to the bottom. He backed up slightly, giving her room as he looked at Ethan. The man shrugged, still rooted to the same spot as their mate lowered onto the steps, sitting directly across from Jude.
She smiled, and his wolf yipped, inching forward before Jude could rein the animal in. The last thing he needed was to scare her in this form, not when they were doing everything humanly possible to gain her trust.
She sighed, tilting her head as she gazed at him. “Ethan told me you can understand me, even when
you’re…” She waved her hand at him. “Like this.”
He cocked his head to the side, answering her with another yip.
“I realize I’ve been distant these past few days, it’s just…” She glanced at Ethan over her shoulder. “I’m not used to being around people…men, really. Especially two men that make me feel…” She snorted, looking as if she was searching for the correct word. “Off kilter. I’d never considered settlin’ down. Didn’t think I’d live long enough to have to worry about it. But you two…”
Ethan walked down the stairs, joining Jude at the bottom. “You don’t have to explain. We promised you we’d give you as much time as you need. We’ll keep that promise.”
“At what cost?” She stood, carding a hand through her hair. “You think I don’t notice how tense you two are? You look at me as if I’m hurtin’ you by simply being in the same room.”
Ethan glanced at him, shuffling his feet before staring back at McKenna. “It’s…fine. We’re…managing.”
“You’re in pain. I see it. Hell, I feel it. A burning ache that never goes away.” She closed her eyes as she kicked at the dirt before glancing up again. “I need… Damn.” She waved at Jude again. “Can I watch you both shift?”
“Are you sure you’re ready for that? It’s extremely intimate.”
She furrowed her brow. “Intimate?”
“Other than the obvious fact that we’re naked when we change, those first few moments after are when we’re closest to our animal as men. When we have the least amount of control over our more basic instincts. You standing here, watching, your scent hangin’ on the breeze, your body noticeably aroused…”
A hint of a smile curved her lips. “You know that?”
“Wolf, sweetheart. Just because I’m not wearin’ the fur doesn’t mean I don’t retain my enhanced senses. We’ve been surrounded by that heady aroma since the saloon.”
She frowned a bit, her lips pursing into a delightful pout. “Will either of you hurt me?”
