Alexa
When I wake, it’s still dark, but I sense the sun is not too far from creeping over the horizon. I glance toward Josef, who looks weary but content.
‘Where are we going, Josef? It looks like you’ve been driving for a while.’ I try to stretch out as much as possible in my seat.
‘I have, but I wanted to make sure we weren’t followed so I took the coast road. We’re heading towards Dubrovnik and we’ll stop there.’
‘Have you heard from anyone?’
‘I’ve heard that they have been searching for you all night. They can’t raise too many alarm bells, given your unusual arrival at the chateau and the facility.’ He glances toward me and hands me a bottle of water. ‘It wouldn’t have taken them too long to work out it was me who helped you escape.’
‘What will happen to you now?’
‘Well, I guess I’ll be looking for another job,’ he says with a nervous chuckle.
I take a sip of water and regard him thoughtfully. ‘Why did you do it? Why did you risk everything for me?’
‘There are a few bad people in Xsade. Plenty of good ones also, but the bad ones seem to have more power in the company at the moment and they are willing to do and risk anything to have their way. I cannot work for an organisation I no longer trust or for people who are willing to endanger the lives of others. I know you signed an agreement and that is what I think we should work with. But when they didn’t achieve the results they were hoping for the scientists wanted to do more tests, tests you hadn’t agreed to. This is totally against my personal values and was the end for me. I knew I had to resign, but my conscience wouldn’t allow me to leave you there. I could only hope that you would trust me enough to escape with me.’
I sit quietly for a while, trying to absorb his words and understand the risks he has taken on my behalf as I stare out toward the dramatic coastline becoming visible in the growing light.
‘Thank you, Josef. I’m not sure how I can repay you.’
‘After all you have been through, Alexandra, please don’t think you ever have to repay me. I only wish you never had to be involved in the first place.’
‘Josef, who were those people we saw on the way out of the facility?’ I ask gently, unsure as to how he’ll respond even though we are alone.
‘They are people from Eastern Europe who are willing to be paid to try the drugs Xsade is testing.’
‘Is it safe?’
‘Some are safer than others. They are willing to risk their bodies to try to improve their quality of life and the lives of their children. Xsade pays them and provides them with accommodation. Some testing is worse than others, but drugs do have to be tested on humans at some stage. How else would they get to market?’
I think about how we stumbled upon drugs for HIV, chemotherapy… Then more specifically for women, the contraceptive pill, the IUD and now hormone-infused implants, among other things; how readily we accept chemical solutions to manipulate our natural hormonal cycles.
Someone has to test them; indeed, many people trial new drugs. Now I’ve become one of those people. I can’t help but wonder whether the success of Xsade’s purple pill will depend on women’s willingness to alter their personal chemistry for the sake of a few sexually aroused hours or days? I suppose I just did exactly that. I physically shudder the thought away.
‘The people you saw were being sorted by their blood group. Hungarians have the highest proportion of AB blood in the world so they were called in as a back-up plan when you refused to give Xsade your blood.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Jeez, that has to be a little concerning doesn’t it? My brain can’t accommodate the different tangents that this conversation is triggering right at this moment. So I deliberately change topics.
‘What do you think you will do, Josef?’
‘First of all, I want to ensure your safety then I think I will return to my wife. I haven’t seen her for days.’
‘You’re married? I’m sorry, I had no idea, I should have asked.’ I feel awful; I’ve been so caught up in my own circumstances, I hadn’t even spared a thought for the person behind the title.
‘Do you have children?’
‘No, unfortunately we haven’t been blessed with children. My wife had an ectopic pregnancy and the prognosis isn’t good. But you never know what scientists will be developing next, so we don’t give up hope.’ He attempts to hide his emotion behind an empty smile.
‘I’m sorry, Josef, but as you say, you never know what will happen. The world is advancing so fast in so many ways.’ I feel sad for him and can’t help but remember my own intense desire to procreate all those years ago. We continue our journey in silence, lost in our own thoughts.
I’m a little surprised when he pulls the car smoothly to a stop. The scenery is breathtaking.
We are parked by the sea at a small marina tucked in behind a rather secluded coastal headland.
There’s probably fewer than thirty yachts and motor boats moored here. Josef rushes around to open my door and assist me out of the car and I stretch my legs. It feels great to be outside and I inhale the fresh saltiness of the air deeply into my lungs. I squint my eyes at the sun rising over the horizon.
Josef escorts me down a long jetty towards a sleek-looking speedboat. There are two figures sitting in the boat and for a brief second I pray that Josef really is on my side and not leading me into a trap. I attempt to calm my nerves and tell myself firmly that I am not that bad a judge of character. As my eyes adjust to the sunlight and shadows, one of the figures climbs out of the boat and starts walking in our direction, wearing a navy shirt and cream cargos. It takes me a second to realise it is Jeremy walking steadily towards me, arms open, as if appearing out of a mirage.
I tentatively take a step forward before rushing full force into his arms and he envelops me securely against his chest, as tight as he can. Tears pour down our faces as I hug him harder than I have anyone in my life. My heart feels like it could explode with love and relief as I continue to sob and bury my head into the warmth of his body.
Eventually, I look up into his gorgeous smoky green eyes and his soft lips find mine, kissing me lightly, carefully, as if assessing my fragility, but it isn’t long before his mouth is hungry for my own. His palms cup my face and we kiss deeply and passionately, our tears blending together. There is a franticness between us as though it could be the last time we have the opportunity to connect in this way. It feels as though Jeremy is making sure I’m real and tangible and not a figment of his imagination. I have never wanted or needed another human being so much in my life, and judging by his reciprocating urgency, neither has he. I can only hope like hell I’m not dreaming because I’ve never wanted a reality more than I have this one, right now.
We finally draw breath from our very public display of affection and I’m giddy from the intensity of it. Jeremy has his arm firmly anchored around my shoulders and it doesn’t feel like he will ever let go. My smile is wide as we step back to acknowledge Josef, who is patiently waiting.
‘You look happy, Alexandra.’
‘You didn’t tell me, Josef!’ He just shrugs innocently. ‘Jeremy, this is Josef. Obviously I don’t need to introduce you.’ The two men shake hands.
‘I can’t thank you enough. You don’t know what she means to me.’ Jeremy places the palm of his free hand over his heart as he says these words and tears well up in my eyes again.
‘I believe I just had a sneak preview,’ Josef says with a smile and I blush at his words. ‘I’m so sorry you had to endure any of this.’ Josef’s voice is apologetic as he takes both my hands in his and kisses them gently. ‘I wish you every happiness for your future.’ Jeremy reluctantly releases me so I can give him a proper hug goodbye.
‘Thank you again, Josef, for everything. I will be forever indebted to you.’ Jeremy and Josef do a quick man hug; full of meaning, but not sure exactly how to let each other know physically, type of thing.
‘Don’t keep he
r out here for too long, Dr Quinn. There is no need to take unnecessary risks.’
‘I won’t be letting her out of my sight, Dr Votrubec. We’ll be in touch.’ Just as we say our final goodbyes we hear a screech of tyres rounding the sharp hairpin bends on the road, speeding towards the marina.
‘Jeremy, get Alexa in here now,’ calls the man in the boat. The next thing I hear is the engine roaring into action and Jeremy pulls me to the edge of the jetty and hauls me into the speedboat.
He then jumps in and lands beside me. I’m a little speechless as the boat shifts to full throttle, pulling away from the marina and forcing me back into the cushioned seat. I’m left with the receding image of Josef’s aghast face and two men running up the jetty with guns pointed in his direction. He raises his hands to his head as they approach him. The boat I’m in is moving so fast out to sea and around a jagged rock face, I don’t have the opportunity to see what happens next.
Jeremy draws me into his embrace and we remain silent in each other’s arms until we are certain no one is chasing us. As we are the only visible boat in the safety of the otherwise empty ocean, the speed and noise finally slacken a little.
‘Oh my god, Alexa, I can’t believe what you’ve been through. Votrubec is right, we need to get you out of sight.’ Jeremy yells to the driver, ‘Let’s get out of here, Martin,’ and receives a nod in agreement. The speedboat changes course and we make our way along a dramatic headland. I am still in shock about everything that has happened in the last ten minutes and we can’t talk over the sound of the massive motor, so I remain silent and snuggled into Jeremy’s warm body as we continue to travel at rapid speed. Eventually, we slow down and I see an enormous luxury yacht tucked around a hidden outcrop. We are skilfully positioned alongside the magnificent vessel.
‘Oh my goodness, you mean out of sight on this boat?’ I’m in shock. ‘You certainly never do things by halves, Jeremy, do you?’ He holds my hand steady as I take a careful step onto the ramp.
‘Never when it comes to you, sweetheart.’ His words seem to cause him some anguish as his face looks strained. I know that I’ll feel safer when we are inside and out to sea and have some much-needed time to catch up on everything that life has thrown us recently.
PART EIGHT
We do not quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes
Alexa
My world instantly transforms as I board this luxury cruiser. It is the most incredible boat I have ever laid eyes on, let alone set foot upon. Beautiful timber decks; both outdoor and indoor dining and lounge areas. A spa on the starboard deck. Our speedboat has miraculously disappeared into a purpose-made garage; it’s as if the large cruiser we are now on has swallowed it up entirely.
Jeremy introduces me to Martin, who was apparently protecting us at Avalon, and from what I understand will be accompanying us for the foreseeable future if Jeremy and Leo have anything to do with it. And to Salina, who looks small, strong, smart and savvy. I shake her hand warmly because it looks as though she could give Jeremy a run for his money. I like her instantly. And then I meet the rest of the crew, including a chef, the captain, and a few boathands to help out with all the things that generally need doing around a boat.
All the while, Jeremy’s arm is anchored around my shoulders. To be honest, it’s too much to absorb just now, but then again, I have felt like that for a while. The wild ride continues.
‘Do I even ask how you managed to arrange this?’ His arm is still protectively around me, as if he’ll never let me go. I don’t want him to.
‘A good friend of Leo’s…it isn’t being used until next month so he was more than happy to lend us both boat and crew for the next week if we needed it — which we did.’
‘Aha. Okay then.’ I slide my fingers along the lounge suite as we make our way deeper into the boat. There really are some obscenely wealthy people in the world. I’m a little overcome by my situation, compared to the looks on the faces of those people lining up to allow the use of their bodies for drug experimentation.
‘Are you okay, Alexa, do you need to lie down?’
‘Yeah, I think I do, actually. There is just so much we need to discuss, Jeremy, I honestly don’t know where to begin.’ The events of the past week have drained me both physically and emotionally. And now I’m on a dream cruiser with Jeremy — I feel like I’ve been dropped out of Dorothy’s tornado and landed in Oz.
‘I know, sweetheart, I feel exactly the same way. I thought you were…well, for days… I didn’t know…’ Tears well up in his eyes and he can’t continue. I hug him tight so he knows I’m here, so he can feel I’m here, finally, with him. I can only imagine how I would be feeling if the situation had been reversed, not knowing whether he was dead or alive. You wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
‘Can I use your phone, Jeremy? I really need to speak to Elizabeth and Jordan. It feels like it has been forever and they should be home and awake now.’
‘Of course, I’ll go and let the crew know we’re ready to sail. I’ll be right back.’ He stares lovingly into my eyes, gives me another lingering kiss and reluctantly lets go of my hand.
The relief when I hear their chirpy little voices is as overwhelming as it is calming; finally the knots in my stomach begin to unravel. They are happy, talkative and completely unaware of anything I have been through. It sounds like the messages Xsade sent on my behalf were fairly generic and inconsequential. Thank god! I send a prayer of thanks to the universe.
They miss me as much as I miss them and they really try hard not to talk about a big surprise they have for me. It works, sort of… My heart swells with love for them. Robert confirms everything is going fine, that yes, they are eating well and that my mother has been sending over additional meals just in case he has been too busy to cook. I laugh at the joyful, mundane, everyday life of parenthood and wouldn’t give it up for quids. I can’t help but think that so much has been going on over here and they have been none the wiser, their lives chugging along normally. This knowledge is enormously reassuring and I’m eternally grateful they haven’t been dragged into any of this mess.
Jeremy returns and I hand him his phone back with a smile on my face and love in my heart.
My relief is monumental. ‘Thank you.’
‘Everything okay with the kids?’
‘Everything is great. They have no idea what has been going on here and are very excited about some surprise for me, which is so cute.’
‘I can’t wait to meet them properly. They certainly sound like real little people these days.’
‘They are gorgeous, Jeremy. You get to realise how much children mean to you when you are taken away from them.’ My voice quivers and his arms are around me in seconds as I bury my head into his chest in tearful happiness. ‘You know, the one thing I missed and thought about more than anything, was not being able to kiss them goodnight. There is no greater privilege for a parent than to be able to tuck their child in and give them a kiss goodnight while they fall sleep. So peaceful and angelic, their little cherub faces dreaming their sweet dreams.’ His finger gently catches the last tear cascading down my cheek.
‘I’m so sorry, Alexa. I never meant for any of this to happen, or to put you in danger. Can you ever forgive me?’
‘I love you, Jeremy, I always have. Don’t doubt for a second that I’ve been through a lot, but it has worked out. We are here and we are together. All that is missing is my children, but speaking to them was the next best thing. We will get through this.’
The pain etched on his face is almost crushing. I stand on my tiptoes to kiss his lips, his chin, his cheeks in an attempt to smooth away his anguish. It takes a moment for him to soften, but I’m happy to persist until he kisses me back and we become lost in the moment. God, I’ve missed him.
‘Would you like me to run a bath for you?’ His lips caress the nape of my neck so perfectly as he utters these words, his hands gently resti
ng on my hips. I immediately consider where else I would love his lips and hands.
‘Absolutely. I haven’t had one for ages and I’m looking forward to getting out of these clothes. I must stink.’
‘You actually smell surprisingly good. Let me help you with your clothes.’ He drops the cardigan from my shoulders, sliding it down my arms and unzips the back of my dress, letting it fall to the floor. I’m left standing in my new black underwear that I bought especially for this trip. Finally, he gets to see it. ‘New?’
‘For your eyes only…’ I say cheekily as I look into his eyes in the mirror above the basin.
Then I remember that isn’t exactly true — other eyes have seen them before him. He smiles while absorbing my body until a frown shadows his face.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, sensing a change in his demeanour.
He slips a strap of my bra over my shoulder, lowering the cup covering my breast. He stares in shock at what he sees, running his finger down from my breast to my stomach. I catch a glimpse of what is causing his reaction just before he turns me around to face him directly. Oh dear. Nothing like this has ever happened between us before. I remain silent and still as he continues a close inspection of my entire body. His fingers linger along the tops of my legs and stop at my inner thighs before he finally speaks.
‘What did they do to you?’
I’m not sure whether to be embarrassed, angry, upset, thrilled or proud. Combinations of these emotions flow through me as though I’ve just taken a spin on the jackpot on a lottery machine. Jeremy’s eyes look as though he is going through a similar process albeit with vastly different emotions. I wonder which one he’ll settle on? I decide to cut to the chase before his mind comes to a complete stop.
‘They did many things, Jeremy. None of them harmed me; some of them scared me a little.’ I remember my inauspicious journey to the chateau. ‘But when I was in the facility, it was mutually agreed, and to be honest, I learned quite a lot about myself.’
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