Uncaged

by Paige Notaro

"It was gonna be a treat."

  "We can do it together." I slid into his grip.

  "Oh I like the sound of that." He looped his arms around me. "Set a mood of cooperation for the night, huh?"

  “You’re right,” I said, tapping my chin. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “What?”

  “Well if sex is a sort of dance, and a dance is a sort of fight, then we’re better off as enemies.”

  He laughed so hard that his eyes shut. Then his lips pressed down on my head, but I save my smile for the fresh cheese. Soon the kitchen was steamy and thick with the smell of bubbling queso and the sizzle of bacon. I was starting to like the local food, but this was just the thing I needed. I wasn’t to go to work for a week, so I was basically stuck here. I could use the reminder that some prisons weren't so bad at all.

  We folded into each other on the couch and fed each other steaming mouthfuls. The heat and the steam and the texture had us sweating. Andre asked me about the day at the bar and I didn't even feel that anything that bad had happened. I did mention that I might take a few days off.

  "I like the sound of that,” he said. “You at home waiting for your man to come take care of you.”

  I had nothing but smiles for that. Well, no words at least. I planted another kiss on his lips and soon I was lying on the bed, watching his beautiful chiseled face loom over me as he entered me tenderly. The bedroom glowed with the last of the sun. The sheets ruffled softly under us like there was a breeze and maybe there was under the rhythm of his motion. He was deep inside me, heat at my center.

  He gazed down on me with soft eyes and then grinned silently.

  I remembered all of a sudden, how much I missed being away from him. It occurred to me that one day this might end. This perfect routine, this place, or even Andre could be gone altogether. Maybe it was the danger of the morning finally catching up to me, but something broke deep inside. Water poured out of my eyes. He stopped and bent in close.

  "Hey, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His whispers washed hot over my face.

  "No." I tried to crack a smile. "Not even a little. It’s just – I can’t lose you. You’re the reason I am. I mean, I’m nothing with you."

  "Nothing without me?" Now it was his voice that seemed to crack. "You’re perfection incarnate, baby. You don’t need anyone else, you don’t need any thing else. I’m the one who had nothing before you. You mean everything to me."

  He pressed his lips to mine and it was softer and sweeter than any kiss before. He pulled away and I tore the words from his lips.

  "I love you," he said.

  "I know," I said, smiling sweetly. "I always knew. I just want you to know how much I love you too."

  His cock swelled inside me and I groaned as he thrust again. Even his eyes seemed to light with the sensation. Each of his pumps had us both tearing against each other, binding ourselves more tight than any of the times before. He came and his wetness seeped into me like a rich warmth. I came softly in a whimper around him. Not because the orgasm had been soft, no, but because the sensation was beyond what anything my mouth could express.

  We didn't pull apart after, just rolled on our sides. I tucked into him, his body still a part of mine as I became part of his. The perfect moment wouldn’t last forever, but I knew it was seared into my memory till the day I died.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Georgia

  On Saturday morning ,Dennis came out of the elevator and announced he was taking us out of the city.

  Andre and I were lounging on the couch, lazily watching the TV, and just enjoying the morning together. I'd spent the last two days avoiding the bar, but without knowing Spanish, and without Maria or Andre or anyone to play tour guide, I'd mostly just wandered around getting sunburned during the day. Once Andre came home, the nights passed like a dream. We whispered sweet things at each other freely while our bodies came together.

  Still, I didn't much like the feeling of being useless again. I was ready to go anywhere with anyone.

  I left the living room to change when I heard Andre bother to ask. "Where are we going?"

  "Samalayuca."

  "The dunes? We’ve been there already."

  "Yeah¸ but she hasn't."

  They both turned to me. "Want to go out into the middle of the desert?" Andre asked.

  A flash of adrenaline shot through me. The desert was not included in the ‘anywhere’ I’d had in my head. Encased in all that emptiness – it was worse than my days alone here.

  "What do we do there?" I asked, keeping the fear out of my voice.

  "I rented a jeep from a tour group I work for, and some boards and some other gear." He smiled. "See, not all my clients are shady."

  "Boards?"

  "It's for-"

  "The sand," Andre cut in. "You'll see when we get there. It's pretty fun actually."

  "Yeah, bro. Thanks for bringing up the damn idea. Where would we be without you?"

  Andre rose and yawned lazily. "Not here, that's for sure."

  "You do have a point. Well, Maria and I are waiting in the car. Hustle on down. No time for tomfoolery, ok?"

  He walked out and Andre stroked my arms. “It’s up to you,” he said. “I know you don’t have a great connection with the land here.”

  No, but despite the sudden shot of anxiety, I couldn’t really remember what had happened in all those weeks locked up out there. I had some vague memory of the desert beauty. Mr. Tarly shouldn’t have the right to steal that away from me.

  “It’s ok,” I said. “I need to do this, and besides, you’ll all be there.”

  A little later we strode out, skin caked with sunscreen, to the jeep idling by the curb. Andre slung a duffel bag with clothes and towels into the trunk before getting in the front and I climbed in with Maria. She beamed as if we hadn't met in weeks and threw me a casual hug. We'd had dinner all together just the night before, but it was true - not having her to talk to during the day hurt a little bit.

  "You ladies ready back there?" Dennis called, pulling off anyway before we answered.

  "I'm ready to go everywhere, baby," Maria said, beaming next to me. It looked like they'd had a good night, too.

  "That's good, but we're actually headed to the middle of nowhere."

  "What do you mean?" Andre asked.

  "Business is actually picking up out in the dunes. Lot of people into nature or maybe the tourists all think the safest part of the city is 50 kilometers outside it. Whatever it is, the tour group running the op is giving me a little cash to test out a new spot in the dunes."

  "So this is work?" Andre grumbled.

  "Lucky for you, my work is pleasure."

  "Don't remind me," Maria said. I could almost see her afterglow slipping off.

  I laughed. How could I have ever doubted this day would be anything other than amazing with all of them around?

  We jetted through the heart of the city. The sun pressed down like an iron, heating as it rose toward noon, but the breeze kept us cool enough. Maria was giving me her own tour of the city, pointing out restaurants I'd like and stores she'd have to take me to. Dennis and Andre bobbed their heads to some Mexican rap up front blasting it higher and higher until I yelled that I couldn’t hear Maria.

  The buildings died down and then we were slipping past vast plots of low housing - the sort I'd passed through often, back when I’d been with other company. Little kids in oversized clothes pushed and played with each other right at the edge of the highway. We passed rows of washing machines with giant neon paper price tags. There was a restaurant here and there, but the life seemed to be smothered under the dirt and the sunlight. My chest started to feel a bit heavy. I'd been a victim all my life it felt like, but at least I had someone to blame and a way to a better future now that I’d escaped. Where did these kids have to go? Who could they blame? How many of these little girls would have to choose the life that I'd manage to avoid?

  I felt lucky to be in the car with these wonderful people
, but I wasn't sure I deserved it. I sank into my seat.

  "What's wrong niña?" Maria asked, almost right away.

  I shook my head, struggling for the words. "I don't deserve this," I said finally. "What exactly am I taking a day off from?"

  "You are taking a day to be with us. That's all."

  "But I didn't do anything to earn it. I don't work. I don't cook or clean. I didn't even escape by myself. I should be out there on the streets. Maybe not in Mexico, maybe not kidnapped, but out somewhere struggling to make my way up."

  "What's going on back there?" Andre asked. His sweet dark eyes found me through the side window.

  "Nothing," Maria said, sinking back in her seat. "She's just being American again."

  "What?" I snapped to her.

  "American." She shrugged. "Always looking for a struggle."

  "I'm not looking for a problem."

  "Then what do you call this? It is a beautiful day. We are heading to a beautiful place and you are surrounded by love and friendship, and this makes you feel guilty?"

  I felt even guiltier now. That made me crack a smile.

  "How's that American, mi amor?" Dennis called back.

  "How is that American? Ok, tell me right now, do you think your fate is completely in your hands?"

  "To some extent, right?" Andre chimed in.

  "Yes, but to what extent? Americans strive. That is what made the country good, but at the same time you refuse to accept that not everything can come if you work hard enough. Sometimes you just have bad luck. And sometimes you get something for nothing. The world is still like that, but you people refuse to accept this."

  "Hey, who you calling 'you people'," Dennis said back.

  Maria leaned right up to his headrest. "I know exactly who I am calling 'you people.' Trust me. My life has become so much more stressful since you two showed up in it."

  "I'm sorry, Maria," Andre said, but I could see his smirk through the mirror.

  "Don't be." She stroked Dennis's shoulders. "You are more good luck than bad, but I can accept both."

  "Fate this, fate that. It's all cause you're Catholic, babe," Dennis said.

  "Perhaps. Maybe it lets us accept better that things are against our control." She looked at me. "When Georgia here told me that she was very religious I thought she might finally be one who understands, but now I see her religion is very American too. She has to suffer to achieve good things, or suffer for receiving them without reason. She can't just accept.

  "That..." I said. "Actually makes a lot of sense."

  "Of course it does," she said. "So suffer as you want. Hopefully it'll mean you can be happy when we finally arrive."

  We all laughed. Maria had kept her face calm the whole time, but she did a little happy shuffle in her seat at cheering me up.

  I did feel better. Maybe just cause the city had finally crumbled down into sand and I could see that nature had its own way. For example, the desert wasn’t as empty as I remembered. Green shrubs and low brushes covered much of the area. It was as if plant life took over where humans cut off. Eventually that started to fade too, and the land swept up into hills of fine yellow sand.

  We drove past a sign that promised Dune Surfing and on a bit further until we turned into a tiny creek of a road. We drove it up towards a low curving wave of a dune and stopped under a grove of trees that looked like they’d been planted there on purpose.

  Dennis got out of the car and nodded as he looked around. "Oh yeah," he said. "People are gonna love this."

  Andre laid his arm around me and led us deeper into the little valley. "It ain't bad," he said. "Nicer than that one place we went to before."

  I sank against Andre. "Nicer for what? What's so great about this place?"

  "Nice smooth hill. Tall. Perfect slope to take a board on."

  "A board?" I had an awful realization. "Wait, is that what Sand Surfing is? Is that why we're here?"

  "Well, I do declare, she's got her hands on a dictionary." Dennis clapped my shoulder and peered up at the top of the dune. "Don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks. Even Maria loves it."

  "It is pretty fun actually," Maria said.

  I’d come to conquer my fears, not replace them with new ones. The dune didn't look all that small up close.

  They went back and grabbed white boards. I'd seen surfing on TV to know these weren't really surf boards. They looked more like doors or sleds.

  "Wait," I said. "Can I just sit on it?"

  "I guess that's ok for a first run," Andre said. "Come on."

  He and his brother started sprinting up the side of the dune with a pair of the boards. In full stride they really did look like they were related by blood.

  "Boys," Maria said as we clomped up behind.

  "Yeah, but not always." I smiled at the memory of nights before.

  "No, just the right amount."

  We were only halfway up, when Andre and Dennis came screeching down, side by side and erect on their boards. Sand whished out the sides, and seconds later Andre had jumped off and Dennis was tumbling over at the bottom. Their laughter boomed up at us, and the sound of Andre's strength filled me.

  Heck, it actually seemed kinda fun.

  We reached the top and set our boards off the top of the dune. It didn't look like we'd come up that high, but then Maria's hat got blown off and it tumbled an awful long way down the sand ramp.

  "Ah, puta," Maria said, readjusting her board. "If I don't get it you get it ok?"

  "How?" I asked, but Maria was already standing up. She tipped her board over onto the hill and vanished over the edge.

  Her whoops filled the air as she zipped away. Her hands were out for balance but even that pose came to her gracefully. She crouched a moment, then rose with her hat in hand. The board swept down like a carpet and at the bottom she jumped off into Dennis's waiting embrace, pressing the hat on his head.

  I had to shut my mouth. Apparently I was the only one with any doubts about this. Andre stood alone, arms glistening with strength under the pouring sun. He cupped his mouth.

  "Come on baby," he said. "I'm waiting on you for round two."

  I swallowed deep and crept onto my board. I could do this – it was just like sledding. It’d been my favorite part about winter back on the farm. Not much work to do, relatively and I could sneak off after a fresh snowfall without much trouble.

  That was all this was. Just a harsh, hot, gritty sled.

  Not the best pep talk, Georgia.

  Then I remembered Maria’s words. Sometimes you just had to see where fate would lead you.

  I tipped the board over the dune. It shot down as clean as if I were riding a cloud. The air whooshed over me and then I was pouring out my lungs into it. Ok, half the scream was fear, but the other half held the wild thrill of shooting down to Earth. I was coming up on Andre so fast, but he held his ground. His mouth hung open but his words were lost to the wind. We were going to hit.

  He reached for me, but I tried to swerve instead. I ended up just tumbling forward. My world spun and then suddenly I was lying next to Andre.

  "Hey. You ok?" he asked.

  I grinned wildly and screamed out into the air.

  Andre covered his ears. “Jeez, girl. Give me a warning.”

  "Well, she's finally gone mad," Dennis said as his face loomed in from higher.

  "Why did I go so fast?" I asked, heart still pounding.

  "Lower center of gravity, no air resistance at all. Actually, that looks fun as hell." Dennis disappeared.

  Andre pulled me to my feet. Our faces both sat a bit dusty now, but he smiled at what he saw and pulled me in for a gritty kiss. I think I could have taken him right there with all the blood flowing through me, but I settled for some tongue instead.

  We pulled apart and saw the other two halfway up.

  "Shall we?" Andre said.

  "Why I thought you'd never ask."

  We went up and down a half dozen times together. Andre taught me to keep my b
alance for surfing, but I tumbled down off my board and that was so much fun, the rest of them joined me.

  When we were all well worn out, we set out the picnic that they had brought. Dennis blasted bachata music from his car, and we sat under the tree and ate juicy pork tamales with fresh refried beans and this creamy green salsa. A bottle of Tesol went around and soon we were nice and giddy. Andre and Dennis started arguing energetically about proper form for hitting the sands, but Maria and I just sat huddled next to each other, glowing with all the fun, and making plans to eat even better food that night.

  Once we were all drunk and full, we set back to the hill again, and things got even more giddy. It was amazing how little you needed to keep you happy when you had the right people around you.

  I didn't feel any guilt that afternoon.

  Later, Dennis and Maria were lying on a blanket under the tree for a little siesta. Andre and I watched them from the top of the dune.

  "Poor little guys," I tut-tutted. "Can't handle a little thrill without getting tired."

  Andre mussed up my hair. "Not like you."

  "I do take to some thrills pretty well."

  We kissed, and that was enough for now. There would be time for more later. Andre turned out to look at the other side of the land. I followed but saw nothing in particular.

  "It goes on a long while," Andre said.

  "I guess so," I said. "It's pretty, the way it's patterned."

  "It is, but that's not what I mean."

  His mouth was shut firm. The hard line of his jaw stood out, and his full lips moved like he was talking to himself. "What are you thinking about, then?" I asked.

  "How damn big the world really is. It's so easy to forget."

  He glanced over his other shoulder. "Two years," he said. "Two years I’ve been looking only that way. Looking at my star, you know. Just practicing, biding my time to get back to the place I was. But there's so much else out there."

  "Yeah," I said. "It's hard to let go though."

  "Yeah."

  "Even when what you're holding onto sucks. A lot. It's still all you know."

  "You do know about those things."

  "I guess I do.” Cruelty had trained me for empathy. That was something new.