by Linda Broday
Yet friend didn’t exactly describe how he felt about her. Nor would it ever.
He had to find a way to either stay away from her or else get well enough to leave before he hurt her. But how, when he yearned with all his being to hold and kiss her?
The bunkhouse door opened, and Hardy and Judd strolled inside. They were arguing over a poster Judd held.
“Hey, Roan.” Hardy pushed the handbill at Roan. “You’re going to like this.”
“What is it?” Roan sat up and took the poster and froze. It advertised a horse racing event at the county fair—in San Saba.
“It’s the perfect plan,” Judd insisted.
Hardy snorted. “Yeah, if you want Roan dead. That’s enemy territory. Besides, he doesn’t even have a horse that can win. That gray mare is plumb ugly.”
“But she can flat run.” Roan stood, his mind whirling. “No better way to get a look at folks without really seeming to.”
“Maybe I’d best check your hearing, son. Did you overlook the dying part?” Hardy asked. “Those bastards will silence you for good.”
“They’ll try.” A muscle worked in Roan’s jaw. “Doesn’t mean they’ll succeed.”
Judd slapped him on the back. “That’s the spirit. Me and Hardy and maybe some of the boys could go with you to even the odds a bit. How sure are you about that mare?”
“I’d stake my life on her.” And Roan had, many a time. “She’s nimble on her feet and fast.”
“There you go!” A gleam filled Judd’s eyes. “I’d love a chance to clean out that mess over there. I’m guessing there’s lots of good folks who’d welcome that.”
“Her pitiful looks could be a real advantage,” Hardy drawled. “No one would expect such a plug-ugly horse to win the purse.”
Roan glanced at the poster again and his hopes fell. “The entry fee is twenty dollars. I won’t have that until I get paid at the end of the month, and the fair will be over by then.”
Hardy rubbed his whiskers. “I reckon I’ve got a little something stuck in a sock under my mattress that I can loan.”
“So that’s where you’ve been keeping your stash.” Judd gave Hardy a playful jab. “Wish I’d have known last month when I wanted to invite pretty Sally Ann Winslow to the ice cream parlor in town.”
“Keep your paws off my money.” Hardy narrowed his gaze and drew his one long eyebrow into a stern line. “If any comes up missing, I’ll know you helped yourself. And if that’s the hardest you can hit, I suggest you stay behind with the womenfolk when we ride to San Saba.”
Judd laughed. “Just joking, old man. I’ve known about your money for a long time.” He turned to Roan. “I have some put back too, and if you’re needing it, it has your name on it.”
“Thanks to you both. I’ll have to think about it.” Roan slowly sat down. A disguise of some kind might fool everyone for a while and let him get the lay of the land. He glanced at the poster again. The race was in two weeks. Would he be ready by then? If he did this, he’d have to be. This chance was too important to miss.
Some of the other ranch hands drifted in, and they dug out the cards. Before long, the men were raising hell along with their antes. To escape the noise, Roan shrugged into his jacket and went outside. He strolled to the corral and leaned against the rail. The night was clear, a million stars twinkling overhead.
“I’m coming for you, you murdering hoodlums.” His voice was as jagged as shards of glass. “As God is my witness, I’m coming.”
He glanced up, deep in thought, mulling over the county fair, planning everything he needed to do to get ready. He had to be smart about this. To fail would make them come after him harder than ever.
Footsteps crunched behind him.
“Do you have some time for a friend?” Marley asked.
Her soft voice floated over him like a layer of expensive silk. Roan turned and was struck by the sight of the moonlight shining on her hair.
“I always have time for a pretty lady.” He grinned. “Are you looking for an escape too?”
“How did you guess?” She laughed. “I helped Mama get the little ones to bed, and those kids wore me out. I needed some fresh air to relax. It’s beautiful out here, with all these stars. But the thing I cherish most is the quiet. How about you?”
“The men are playing cards, and words were getting pretty heated.” He settled his shoulder against hers, wishing he could find the courage to tell her how she made him feel. How deep pleasure wound through him just to have her next to him. And how afraid he was that fate would step in and leave him holding empty dreams. Best to silence the yearning. Somehow.
Marley glanced up, her eyes shining in the moonlight. “You’re not a card player?”
“Life is a big enough game of chance without the need to wager hard-earned money.” Roan drew in a breath, catching the edge of her fragrance mingled with the scents of the night. “Besides, I had some serious thinking to do.” He pulled the folded poster from inside his jacket and held it out.
She took it. “What’s this?”
“A horse race at the county fair…in San Saba.”
Her eyes grew wide. “No. Surely you’re not thinking of entering. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“The men said they’ll pitch in to raise the fee and go along to make sure any fight I get into is fair. How can I refuse their help?”
“By saying no. This is dangerous, and all the friends in the world can’t stop a bullet. Roan, you almost died before. Do you want them to finish the job?” Her trembling hand brushed her eyes. Tears? Roan swallowed guilt. “And another thing,” she went on. “You’re still dealing with the effects of your other ordeal.” She threw up her hands. “I’m not going to dig a grave. I’m just not.”
She paused again, this time to still her quivering lips. “How could you risk your life this way? How can you do this to Matt? To me? I swear, I don’t understand you. All of us care for you. I care. Why don’t you care for yourself?” Marley sounded like the boiler of a train engine spewing and gushing hot steam. Just as he thought she’d settled down, she fired up again with another headful. “I’m through worrying about you! Just go ahead and get yourself killed!”
He gently took her hands and faced her, staring into her dark eyes. “I can’t promise that I’ll stay alive. I can only say that I’ll be on guard for trouble. Despite what you evidently think, I do have a brain. At least half a one. I’m not going to waltz in there, daring that gang to shoot me. I’m going to devise a plan and move carefully.”
“That’s smart to think through it first.”
“I don’t know exactly how for sure, but I’m going to root out each rider who was there that night and make them pay. Mose deserves to rest easy in the grave.”
“And what do you deserve, Roan?” she asked softly.
That was hard to answer. He’d deserved more than Blackie’s whippings, the name-calling, and watching everything and everyone he cared about turn to dust.
“This isn’t about me.”
“Isn’t it?” she cried. “For me it is.”
He released her hands and brushed back her silky hair. “There are some things a man has to do in order to look at himself in a mirror. This is one.” He kissed her smooth forehead. “I don’t want to fight with you. There’s too much fighting in this world as it is.” He turned to go back inside.
“What do you want?”
“To kiss you,” he answered softly before he could remind himself again that the best thing he could do was to saddle up and ride. The pull was too strong, and he didn’t have that much strength to walk away. He swung back around to face her. “Heaven help me, I want to taste your lips. I have wanted to ever since I woke up to find you sitting beside my bed.”
“Then do it,” she challenged before softening and stepping close enough that he couldn’t escape the sweet scent of her.
“Hold me, Roan.” Marley slid an arm around his neck. “Hold me and kiss me. Life is too short, and we may not get many more chances.”
Her tilted head, lowered eyes, and mouth that begged to be kissed made him forget everything except hunger for her. He didn’t know what would happen when the kiss ended and she wanted more than he could give, but he couldn’t keep his mouth from crushing against hers. Burning need silenced the voices in his head. He put his hands around her slender waist and pulled her closer. She fit against him as though a carver had whittled her especially for the shape of his body.
The tiny cry that escaped her fueled the heat scorching everything inside. He nibbled on the edges of her lips, savoring, exploring, teasing the velvet warmth of her mouth. Strange how a person never knew how something tasted until he sampled it for the first time. Fair to say he’d never tasted such sweetness and desire. Something had told him her kisses would uproot everything inside and leave him a mass of quivering jelly, and that’s exactly what Marley did.
Heaven help him. He crushed her to him so tightly he could feel the wild beating of her heart next to his. Daring to run his hand down her luscious curves, he deepened the kiss, wishing, praying, hoping it would never end.
The fact that Marley didn’t push away told him she wanted this as much as he, and so did her whispered plea to hold her, kiss her.
Mystery and desire. Passion and promise. Marley Rose McClain tasted of hope.
She melted in his arms, her breasts crushed against his chest, and clung to him. Roan’s hands wandered down her back, her waist, and ended at those flared hips that drove him beyond insane. Little mewling sounds squeezed from her throat, seeming to beg him not to stop. A shiver of pleasure ran up his spine.
When the need to breathe drove their lips apart, she stared up at him. “I’ve never known anyone like you,” she whispered against his cheek. “No one has ever made me feel cherished before.”
“They must be imbeciles,” Roan muttered hoarsely. “Or blind as bats.”
Anyone should have been able to see the special woman she was.
He took her face between his hands and lightly kissed her lips. “I shouldn’t have done this, and your father would have my hide if he knew, but I can’t say I’m sorry.”
The moments they’d just shared were the best he’d ever spent, and he’d be damned if he would apologize.
Marley caressed his jaw. “No promises, no regrets.”
Roan released her. “Run far away from me. I’ll only cause you hurt.”
“I can’t,” she whispered, running her fingers along his arm. “It’s too late.”
“Nothing is too late. I’m not the kind of man you need.”
“Sorry, but you don’t get to determine that.” Marley ran a fingertip across his lips. “What are you searching for, Roan?”
A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? A place to belong? The kindness of strangers?
“One day I’d like to have a small plot of ground to call my own,” he answered softly. “A place where I can lay down roots so deep no one can ever yank them out.”
“What will happen then, when you’ve reached the end of your search?”
“I’ll find peace and sleep a dreamless sleep.”
“I hope you get that. One day you might just own more than a gray horse and a holey pair of boots.”
“Yeah, maybe.” If he was lucky enough. Roan stuck his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her again and glanced up at the stars. “You noticed my footwear?”
“They’d be pretty hard to miss,” she drawled.
“I’ll have you know these boots and I have walked many a mile together.” He tried for a teasing tone but seemed to fall short. “Bet you didn’t know that once boots mold to a man’s feet, they won’t fit anyone else.”
“I imagine that takes a pretty long while.”
“Years.” He was having trouble keeping his gaze from the long column of her throat and the hollow where her pulse softly beat. He itched to pull her close, to wind his fingers in her hair, and speak the words she wanted to hear.
He should go back into the bunkhouse and stop pretending things could ever be different.
His father’s voice grated inside his head. You’re worthless, boy. Not fit to shine my shoes. I curse you.
Roan closed his eyes to block out Blackie’s face. “Marley, I never dreamed a woman like you existed, but you’re too beautiful, too talented, too smart to get tangled up with a common ranch hand who’s trying to buy trouble. I’m not a character in one of your stories that you can fix.”
“You don’t need fixing. I wouldn’t change anything about you.” Her voice broke, and Roan called himself every name he could think of.
“I wish—” The door to headquarters swung open. Just as well.
Duel strolled out with his arm around Jessie. Roan quickly put plenty of space between him and Marley. It worried him a little that the man headed directly for them. Had Duel seen them kissing?
“Nice night, sir,” Roan called. “Not a cloud in the sky.”
When Duel reached them, he wore a big grin. “So it is. Marley Rose, your mama and I are going to look at the stars. The babies are asleep under Allie’s watchful eye, but stay close in case she needs help. The girl’s a little scatterbrained at times.”
Jessie patted his chest. “Now, honey, she does her best.”
“I know.” Duel pulled his wife a little closer. “Marley Rose, we won’t be gone long.”
“Okay, Papa.” She grinned. “You two have fun.”
Roan watched them stroll off arm in arm. Something told him they wouldn’t give the sky one glance. He leaned against the corral rails. “I should probably go inside.”
“Please, just a little longer.” Bright spots of color stained her cheeks. “Would you like to begin your dance lessons?”
She had dangled a carrot in front of him. Good sense told him no, but his heart said dance lessons couldn’t hurt. She would be the teacher and he the pupil.
“Just for a few minutes.” He straightened, hoping this wasn’t a mistake.
She showed him the basic steps. “Let your body move with mine and follow what I do.”
He opened his arms, and she walked into the circle without hesitation. Her slight form pressing against him aroused a hunger so deep it shook him. Damn that carrot. “This is a mistake. I shouldn’t.”
“Shouldn’t what? Find any enjoyment?”
Shouldn’t let her closeness open the door he’d closed.
In answer to her murmured question, Roan curled his hand around hers and brought it to his chest. “This feels… It’s nice.”
“See, I told you,” Marley whispered. “I just wish you didn’t have this cloud hanging over your head. I feel danger lurking around us, and it scares me. Oh, Roan, I wish you weren’t going to race in that fair. You could die, and I don’t think I could stand it if you did. I’m afraid for you. For us.”
“There’s risk to everything. I can’t let them win. All my life, people have been taking from me.” He couldn’t control the muscle quivering in his jaw. “I won’t let them take anyone or anything else. The price is too great.”
“I understand, or least I’m trying.” Marley looked up at him. “Granny Jack says that every tub has to sit on its own bottom.”
Roan chuckled. “She does, huh?”
“I told her about your determination.”
“She’s a very nice lady and one I’d like for a grandmother if I could choose.”
“Are you sure you’ve never danced?” Marley asked softly.
“Positive.”
“Because you’re already doing it—even without music.”
She’d probably think him looney to know he was simply moving to what he heard in his head and hoping for this time with her in his arms to never end. He place
d his lips to her temple and inhaled deeply.
A small voice suddenly said, “Mama Rose, I need you.”
Marley glanced down. “Matt, what are you doing out of bed?”
“I wasn’t sleepy, and I…I need you to read me a story.” Matt took her hand. “One from that special book of yours, the one you said was a secret.”
Roan dropped his hold. “Go take Matt on an adventure. I have to go anyway.”
Another minute with her curves against him and he’d do something he shouldn’t. There was only so much temptation a man could stand before he broke.
Matt tugged on her hand. “Let’s go read some more about that little boy that’s just like me.”
“You haven’t even spoken to Mr. Penny. Mind your manners,” Marley gently scolded.
“Hi, Mr. Penny.” Matt looked at him, pushing the hair from his eyes. “Now can we?”
“Go on.” Roan brushed her soft cheek with a knuckle. “Your stories bring the boy so much enjoyment. Someday I hope you let me read them.”
“Only if you promise not to laugh. Come along, Matt. I’ll read you a story, but only one. Then you have to go to sleep.”
Roan’s throat tightened as his gaze followed them into the house—the woman with a dream and a little boy who worshipped her. Marley couldn’t know it, but she was kinda like his Sister Frieda. Both had come along at the right time on his journey.
Except he’d never once thought about kissing the kind nun.
Thirteen
Several evenings later as the sun gave off its last golden rays, Roan took Shadow for a hard run across the pastures. He’d started to make a point of doing it each day since deciding to enter the race. Nerves tightened in his stomach for several reasons. One was the trip to San Saba and the uncertainty of what that might bring. But the biggest cause of nerves was Marley. He’d made a point of avoiding her since the kiss, but he didn’t know how much longer he could.
