“Mirisa.”
“I used to love the way you said my name. It was always so full of desire and love and now your voice is so angry.”
“I will do anything you want because I don’t want you to leave.”
“I told you when I first lay in your arms that I would never leave you. I just didn’t realize how much sorrow came with loving you or I would never have made that promise. My love wasn’t enough to save this marriage. I’ve never known what you wanted and I don’t understand why you couldn’t keep your promise.” She took in her breath. “I am truly sorry that I was unfaithful for there is nothing that someone can do that deserves such disloyalty especially from their own wife.”
“You’re right, I didn’t keep my promise.”
“I don’t want to be right. I am devastated by tonight. Being told you were dead wouldn’t hurt as much as this did. My heart feels like someone has their hands around it trying to kill me from inside. You did it on purpose and you were very successful in hurting everyone who loves you because of your anger solely for what I did.”
Dominic pulled her into his arms. He knew the last thing to do was the one thing that would remind her that he had just slept with another woman. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”
She didn’t respond but instead turned away from him. The pain was so intense and the entire night kept playing over and over again in slow motion. It wasn’t that she didn’t deserve the retaliation as much as it confirmed the fact that she meant so little to him. She knew this wasn’t the first time he slept with another woman and probably not even the thousandth time but to know that it meant nothing, that she meant nothing was a reality that she wasn’t yet ready to deal with but it was something she had to accept.
Dominic left her sitting alone and mounted his horse heading west. He rode hard until the anger started to subside then he turned south along the ridge before crossing back over the river onto the ranch. The men were already in the lower pastures working on the fencing and cutting out horses. He rode toward the card room and climbed the stairs.
Mirisa told Jasmine that she would feed the children in the nursery and as she said the words the memories of her childhood slammed up against her like a nightmare. The dysfunction was so palpable that she vowed to herself to never allow her children to live like she had. It was time for her to accept her responsibility for everything she had done. She went into the kitchen and took out the dishes and set the table. James watched her but didn’t say anything. He had made a large pot of stew and was putting in the last seasoning when she tasted it. She filled a small bowl then rinsed the gravy off and set it aside to cool.
“Mirisa?”
She put her arms around him and told him she loved him. He didn’t respond but held her tight for a few minutes before he released her. She fixed a pot of coffee and put the fresh bread on the table. James watched Mirisa as she climbed the stairs. The music stopped and Garnett came down and immediately went to the bar.
Meeks held her but waited for her to talk. “Alexander?”
“If it’s going to be bad news then I really don’t want to hear it. Mirisa, our love is too strong not to be given a chance. There’s no reason for you to live like this.” He kissed her and she wrapped her arms around him. He didn’t want to let her go now or ever but he loved her enough to wait. “Do me a favor.”
“What?”
“Don’t ever come to the card room again.” She smiled and understood he wasn’t referring just to Dominic.
Dominic was going up the staircase as Meeks was coming down. Meeks grabbed his arm and stopped him half way up.
“You don’t deserve her.”
Dominic looked up and saw her standing at the top of the landing. Meeks looked around, dropped Dominic’s arm and went back up the stairs. He took her in his arms and kissed her with so much emotion. He looked into her eyes and then turned and went back down the stairs.
“Unlike Garnett, I’m not willing to wait to see if you plan to hurt her again.”
James was speechless but Garnett thought that he couldn’t have done it any better himself. Meeks walked over to the bar and poured a shot. Dominic turned to face him. “And you thought it was alright to sleep with my wife in the first place?”
“Sleeping with a married woman never bothered you before Dominic. What is the difference whether you are the one seducing them or you are the husband?”
“Do you want to have this conversation here?”
“Dominic, you can keep the truth from a lot of people but the men in this room know the truth. We know what we have done, we know what we are capable of doing and we throw it aside with absolutely no feelings or guilt as long as we are happy doing it.” Garnett sat down on the back of the couch because this was a long time coming. “You’re not the first married man to spend your time in the bed of a whore nor are you the first one to get caught doing it. Sex is what we do when we’re not killing people, sex is what we do for fun, and sex is what moves our questionable behavior and cements our reputations.”
“So what you did when you slept with my wife meant nothing to you? She was just another married woman?”
Meeks thought Dominic should have been smart enough not to ask that question but last night had taken Dominic off his game. “It meant more to me than anything I have ever done in my life. If you are asking whether or not I love your wife then let me reassure you that if I could convince her to walk out that door with me right now I would. If you think that it had anything to do with her being married or the fact that she was married to you then think again. I am in love with Mirisa and I will move the world to take her away from you.”
“Don’t you suppose it matters to Mirisa that you have continued to entertain these very same women?”
“Have I? You obviously are not very observant.” You could see the impact of the words on Dominic’s face. “Dominic, I don’t believe I stood at that alter and took an oath before I went up those stairs with another woman. Mirisa didn’t come to me willingly and I won’t sleep with her again unless she does.”
“What about friendship and loyalty?”
Meeks lit his cigar off of Garnett’s before he answered. His calmness was very unnerving. “I don’t believe I am the one who told Mirisa you were sleeping with another woman. I believe it was your redhead, what is her name…Rose? She came to the house with the purpose and intent to let Mirisa know that you had been having a four month affair. Tell me Dominic; with the measures I take to keep that part of the ranch away from our personal lives how did that woman not only know you were married but how to find Mirisa? How did she know her name? And why did she think you would give up your family for her? What did you promise her for her to approach Mirisa and flaunt her affair with you?” Dominic knew he was right because they always kept the saloon women far from their own lives. “As far as friendship, I don’t believe you and I have ever been friends.”
“You think I should just forgive both of you for what happened? What about your daughter? How are you going to deal with her as she grows up? Did either of you think about that?”
“Honestly, I don’t think at the time I thought about anything except how much I loved your wife.” His constant reference to Mirisa as Dominic’s wife brought home the point very well. Garnett thought he would have made a great advocate. “And thank you for finally acknowledging that she is my daughter.”
James poured a shot awestruck by the whole conversation. Meeks walked over, poured a shot and turned back to Dominic. Mirisa was sitting at the top of the staircase spellbound and completely forgotten in the heat of the argument.
“So, Meeks what is your solution to this problem?” They all knew this tone and it was the most serious he ever got before he killed someone. James looked at Garnett who just acknowledged the threat existed but both were surprised by the depth of his growing anger. Meeks unbuckled his holster and laid his gun on the bar.
“I don’t have an answer for you because the decision isn’t mine
to make. I’m not a temporary problem and I’m not a man mesmerized by a beautiful woman. I am in love with your wife.”
“Then that makes two of you who think I don’t deserve her.”
James looked at him. “No that makes three of us.”
Dominic looked at him and was surprised because James rarely got into the fights other than to try to defuse them. “You, as well, believe I’m to blame for last night even though she was not only unfaithful but has given birth to another man’s child? You think that I don’t have the right to be extremely angry? I hope to God you don’t write my obituary because so far you have blamed me for everything.”
James found the dynamics interesting. “You don’t think last night was your fault?”
“Partly.”
Garnett laughed. “It’s entirely your fault and you know it. This is an argument that you cannot win in this room with anyone except your wife.”
“You don’t think she willingly submitted to Meeks?”
“I’m sure she did once he penetrated her emotions and loneliness. Dominic, we know her as well as you do and as long as you have, so taking advantage of her would be extremely easy if that was what we wanted to do. We told you before that she didn’t have the ability to stop a man intent on bedding her; she didn’t have the experience or the knowledge to fight against pros. There is no woman that we can't convince to take off their clothes, one way or another and both you and I prefer the hard way. You left her with the very men who knew what you were doing. But the question is does she have to pay because you knew better than anyone that you shouldn’t have married her and you knew that none of us had morals. It didn’t happen earlier because she believed in you and it wasn’t in us to destroy her illusion. She has never been anything except a naive young woman who still believes in the power of love.”
“Don’t you think this is between Mirisa and me? Other then Meeks exactly why am I arguing with all three of you?”
“No, none of us think this is just between you and Mirisa. This has always been some combination of the five of us. The fact that rather than attending to your wife and your marriage you would merely assign one or two of us to watch her like she was incapable of behaving while you were out violating your promises to her. Quite frankly, you placed her in our care and we each spent enormous amounts of time interacting with her. None of us would take the chance of leaving her with anyone knowing how easy it is to fall in love with her. Either you never really loved her or you don’t have the ability to care.” Mirisa could tell that Garnett was getting extremely angry. Garnett’s voice dropped so low. “I told you on the boat that night if you deliberately hurt her again you would have to deal with me. So, deal with me.”
“You don’t think I haven’t apologized for my behavior? You don't think I won’t live with the look on her face when she saw me last night?”
Garnett looked down for a moment weighing his next words then he looked back up. “What about this morning? Are you apologizing for taking your anger to the card room this morning engaging in the same behavior while your empty promises were still ringing in her ears? Tell me Dominic how much will Mirisa have to pay for your anger? How does one slip equate to seven years of infidelity?”
Meeks was holding James back as he threw his glass across the room splattering whisky on the wall before it rolled across the floor. “You left this house and went to the card room? You have got to be kidding me?” James pulled his arm away and walked over to the hearth before he turned around. “I can’t believe you are so damn stupid.”
Garnett wondered why James didn’t realize where Dominic was going when he left so angry. “You don’t think we all won’t live with her standing in that card room? We were all there, we knew as soon as she walked through that door that you were going to break her heart. But then I might be wrong because I think you broke her heart a long time ago and last night was just the cold reality of what she has been unable or unwilling to grasp.”
“Please stop.” They all turned to her. She tried to get her bearings but she didn’t think she would be able to stand. She finally pulled herself up and walked into the room quietly closing the door. James started up the stairs. Dominic started to say something and James told him to back down. James opened the door and shut it behind him. Dominic walked down the stairs, took off his gun and wrapped it before sliding it behind the bar. He poured a shot and picked up the bottle and sat down.
James sat down next to her and held her until she got her crying under control. He knew she didn’t want to talk so he just held her. He couldn’t explain to her that despite the anger the friendship would continue and they would accept any decision she made. Well, he wasn’t sure about Meeks because he couldn’t recall Meeks ever saying he loved anyone. You could see the softness in Meeks’ touch when he held Mirisa. Probably the most amazing change in a man he’d ever seen. Dominic didn’t change at all instead he made her into what he wanted and needed and then he put her up on a pedestal.
“Mirisa.”
James could feel her take in a large breath that rattled in the quiet room. “What?”
“It’s alright.” He pulled her up higher so he could look in her eyes. She started to say something and he put his hand on her lips. “There’s nothing to explain because everyone was just reacting to what happened. I don’t think you needed to witness that and I think Garnett was too graphic.”
“It hurts everywhere.”
“I know it does. You wear your pain in your eyes even though they are probably the most beautiful eyes in the world. Whatever decision you make we will support you and help you even if saving your marriage is what you think is best.”
“You don’t think it is, do you?”
“No. I didn’t think the marriage to Dominic was ever a good idea but it’s not my job to interfere. What you did may have surprised him but he categorized it. What you actually did was make him angry and because it was with one of us then it was something that will always be in his face. Your infidelity wasn’t ever a concern; it was the fact that you loved another man enough to sleep with him.”
“I betray him….”
“Mirisa, darling, I can’t explain someone who has no feelings to someone who is one bundle of feelings. You have so much that it leaks all over everything you are near like a peach pie in the oven.”
“What am I going to do?”
“I’m sure that it will eventually work itself out.” He got up and put the small blanket on her and she curled up against him. He poured her a shot and held her. Meeks and Garnett left the house to get drunk and Dominic sat out on the porch drinking alone.
MIRISA DEALT with the problem by burying it and moving into the guest room. None of them had issues with what they did or who they were. The argument was a long time coming because all of them stood by their initial argument that Dominic shouldn’t have married Mirisa and she should have never been brought into their world. They all felt better with everything aired out despite knowing that it changed nothing but they were all regretting having the argument in front of Mirisa because she was withdrawing.
The next morning a fire broke out at the card room and as it quickly consumed the building the smoke turned a dark black as it spiraled straight up as flames consumed the wood like a hungry demon. Dominic was working in the southern end of the ranch when one of the hands noticed the smoke and alerted him. It appeared to come from the area of the bunkhouses and when he arrived at the stables the card room was completely engulfed and everyone was standing watching it burn. James was leaning up against the railing smoking a cigar.
“What happened?”
“Don’t know.”
“Why aren’t the men trying to put it out?”
“They tried but it was burning too fast.” James turned at the sound of the piano wires breaking. “Damn, I really liked that piano.”
The building started to collapse as the men moved back and Dominic told them to start wetting down the roof tops of the nearby buildings to
prevent the fire from spreading. The ground was dry which concerned him more than the embers that were swirling up through the smoke that had finally turned back to a grey.
Meeks and Garnett rode in from the west and tied their horses up next to James as Dominic walked over to talk to the bar manager. They all had their way of dealing with what happened in the card room some ways were just a lot more memorable then others.
Meeks looked at James who just smiled then took a drag on his cigar.
“I think the weather is going to turn cold this week.”
Garnett was rolling his cigar watching the top floor collapse into the structure. “I don’t know James; it seems pretty mild for December.”
James nodded. “Do we have plans for Christmas or are things still too volatile?”
“I think Mirisa is planning on having Christmas for the children but dinner will be at the Ross ranch since everyone is in from Mississippi and she can avoid us if she wants.”
Meeks mounted his horse and asked James if he felt better. “You know I do.”
Garnett smiled then mounted his horse.
When Garnett walked into the adobe the day before Christmas, he was surprised to not only find a small Christmas tree but there were packages covering the floor under it. He took off his gun and bent down picking up a package. He loved Mirisa’s handwriting because it was always so flowery with little doodles everywhere. All of his transcripts had little notes in the margins but they weren’t corrections or even suggestions just little happy doodles and one time he found a set of lip prints that were planted right in the corner.
Meeks came in with James as Garnett stood up. “When did you put up a Christmas tree?”
“We didn’t.” James took off his gun and uncapped a new bottle of whisky. He picked up a present and looked at the little card smiling. “Are we having Christmas here?”
The Visitor - Colorado 1869 - 1871 Page 6
