I tried to open my mouth and tell him what had me so upset: Cade had found a new girl, my mother despised me, soon I’d be living in a strange world, separated from a family that actually loved me . . . But at the moment all my sorrow came flooding out in one overwhelming wave of emotion. I threw my arms around his neck and cried into his chest as he scooped me up.
“Hush now, little Faelorah, hush now,” he crooned as he carried me over to another room.
Once there, he set me down on a spacious couch next to a roaring fire. The party still carried on in the other room, but the distant clamor didn’t drown out the sound of the whispering flames.
“Now,” the Dagda stated, picking up a pitcher and filling a small tankard with golden liquid, “you must tell me why the prettiest girl in my house is so upset on this, Beltaine Eve, of all nights.”
I grinned at his attempt to cheer me, but my tears still fell.
“I’m sorry Dagda,” I murmured, finally feeling a little ashamed of my behavior. “I think, I think it’s just been so overwhelming. Discovering I’m Faelorehn, being hunted by the Morrigan, learning I’m the illegitimate daughter of Eilé’s high queen.”
I let out a deep sigh, wiping my eyes with the handkerchief the Dagda had given me.
“Yes, and I’m sure witnessing your young Caedehn receive so much attention while keeping you at arms’ length isn’t helping.”
He grinned and I blushed.
“He isn’t my Caedehn,” I grumbled as I tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear.
“No? Are you sure?” the Dagda said cheerily, as if speaking to a daft child who couldn’t grasp the obvious.
I blinked at him again, this time with some surprise. His grin widened as he placed the tankard of mead in my hand. The honey wine cooled my throat but warmed my stomach and as I savored it, I thought about his question. No, I wasn’t sure. That was the problem. Well, okay, I had no doubts on my end, but not Cade’s. Sometimes I was wholly convinced he returned my affections, but then he would do or say something to prove otherwise. Like spending the whole evening with some other girl while I was left to dance with a cute boy who turned out to be a total ass.
I took a deep breath, then thought more about what Drustan had said to me.
“Drustan seemed to be appalled to learn I was the product of Danua’s affair.”
I stared the Dagda in the eye as the sadness welled up again. “Do you treat me kindly only because I am half Fomorian? Only because you feel sorry for me?”
The Dagda’s blue eyes hardened into ice and he frowned. “Drustan o’Ceallaigh is an ignorant whelp. What exactly did he say to you Meghan?”
The anger in his voice surprised me.
“When I told him about being Danua’s daughter, he went from being polite to acting as if I were something nasty he’d stepped in.”
The fire sputtered and almost went out, and the room vibrated with violence. I set my mead down and cast the Dagda a worried glance. He was angry; cold and angry. Then the dark look passed.
“I’m sorry Meghan. His behavior sickens me.”
I lifted a hand, glad to discover this god’s irritation had dissipated.
“It’s partly my fault. I told him who I was without even considering what the repercussions might be. I mean, I know my mother’s nobles weren’t too thrilled when she told them, but I didn’t think he would have reacted so, um, negatively to the truth.”
“And why did you tell him the truth?”
I frowned. Yes, why had I . . . ? Oh yeah, because he had made some comment about Cade.
“He said the younger girls didn’t realize what Cade was and if they found out, they’d be horrified. It made me angry, so I got a little careless and told him I was Danua’s daughter. I guess I did it to take his focus off of Cade.” My own fear of what Drustan had insinuated, about Cade using me, I kept to myself.
The room grew cold again, the healthy fire nearly flickered out, and the cup of mead I held seemed to freeze in my hands. Fear prickled my senses, and when I worked up enough nerve to glance at the Dagda, his face was blank and distant and his eyes appeared as dark as night.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low and cold, “And did he tell you, Meghan? Did he tell you what Caedehn is?”
I set my icy tankard down with care and took a deep breath.
“No,” I said carefully, “I was too angry at the time to ask him.” And too afraid.
The sigh coming from the Dagda might’ve been winter’s first icy breath.
I garnered my courage again. “What is he, Dagda?”
My voice was a whisper, so I expected silence or more anger. The sad hum that left the Dagda’s throat sounded like defeat; weariness even. He ran his fingers through his hair, a motion that reminded me of his foster son, before letting his shoulders slump as he rested his chin on one hand.
“That, my dear girl, is Cade’s story to tell. Don’t get me wrong, you deserve to know, but Caedehn should be the one to tell you.”
My own tension began to drain. Yes, deep down I wished be told the entire truth. For a long time I’d suspected Cade was more than what he seemed, but I could never figure it out. I had always been too afraid to ask; terrified my terrible suspicions would prove true. Cade had never opened up to me. I think this is what hurt me the most, that he didn’t trust me enough to talk to me when he needed to. And now I had people warning me to stay away from him. I wanted to understand why.
“Your trust means a great deal to him, Meghan. As secretive as he may seem, he would never betray it,” the Dagda whispered.
I jerked back on the couch, my eyes wide. Had he read my mind?
“How’d you know that’s what I was thinking about?” I croaked.
The Dagda grinned, his pale blue eyes sparkling once again. “It’s written all over your face darling. For as long as I’ve lived, if I haven’t learned anything else, I’ve learned how to read a woman’s face.”
He winked, which made me laugh.
He sobered up again and took a deep breath. “Promise me one thing Meghan, please?”
A hint of sorrow lingered in his words. I gave him my full attention.
“When you do find out, please try to understand. Please remember what he means to you and like you, he cannot help what he is.”
I shuddered. That frightened me. Could Cade’s secret really be so terrible? Could it make me forget I loved him?
I took a long, steadying breath and answered, “I promise. I would never betray his friendship.”
The Dagda nodded, the sadness still burning in his eyes, then clapped his hands together before standing.
“Now, let’s find something to help clean you up so we can return you to the festivities. Midnight draws near, and you’ll not want to miss the show!”
I lifted my hands to my cheeks, wondering how awful I looked after blubbering half the night.
After washing my face and running my fingers through my hair, I rejoined the party. Several couples were lined up in the center of the hall, laughing and kicking up their heels to a lively song. I searched their faces and breathed a sigh of relief when I realized Cade wasn’t among them.
I focused on finding him then. I felt pretty foolish about how I’d behaved earlier so I wanted to apologize if he had noticed. I hoped he hadn’t seen how upset I’d been, but despite my embarrassment, I yearned to be with him for the rest of the night, especially after what Drustan had implied. Perhaps Cade and I could be outcasts together.
My search of the room proved to be fruitless. Just as I decided to give up and find a seat somewhere, I caught a glimpse of Drustan tucked away in another alcove, pressed up against the girl I’d seen Cade with earlier, whispering something in her ear. She seemed to be listening intently to what he said, the distance across the hall doing nothing to hide the expression of horrified shock now taking the place of confusion on her pretty face.
Drustan’s grin revealed his malicious nature and the glint in his eye confirmed my suspicions.
I gritted my teeth. The Morrigan isn’t the only one capable of cruelty in this world, I told myself.
Needing to cool my anger, I crossed the room, heading towards the entrance hall. One of the Dagda’s guards eyed me with curiosity, but kindly stepped aside when I informed him I needed some air. The night hinted of frost, despite the fact it was spring, and only a few people remained standing around the dwindling bonfire.
I wrapped my arms around myself and threw my head back, gazing up at the stars twinkling through the branches high above me.
“They can be overwhelming if you haven’t learned how to deal with them.”
Cade’s voice appearing out of the dark startled me a little. I turned to glance at him and frowned.
“I didn’t display the best behavior in there myself,” I mumbled.
Cold anger seemed to flash across his face and disappear just as quickly. “Drustan o’Ceallaigh had no right to treat you so callously. If word got back to Danua-”
“How did you know?” I cut him off, turning to gaze at him in the semi-dark with wide eyes.
Cade gave me a sad smile. “The Dagda told me.”
“Oh.” I dearly hoped the Dagda hadn’t told him everything . . .
I sighed and cast my worry aside, focusing instead on what Cade had said about Danua.
“My mother wouldn’t care,” I grumbled as I turned to gaze back at the stars.
The gentle touch of Cade’s hands on my shoulders informed me he had moved closer.
“She cares Meghan, believe me, even though she doesn’t show it,” he murmured. “In order to keep the balance of this world, she must not display emotion. Someday she’ll be able to show you her true self. Until then, you’ll just have to believe you have people here who,” Cade paused, as if he were giving careful consideration to his choice of words. He released a tiny sigh and finished, “people who care for you.”
My face warmed. A roughness tinged his voice, making my skin tingle, but I shook the sensation off. I hoped he was right, about having true friends here in the Otherworld. If, for some unforeseen reason things didn’t work out with Cade and me, I had others to help me with my new life. The Dagda, for one, had made it clear I was welcome to stay with him, but I would worry about the details later. Time to change the subject.
I turned my head and peered up at Cade. He was watching me, making sure I didn’t bolt.
“How can you stand those people talking behind your back and treating you with scorn?” I whispered, my tone harsh. “How do you tolerate their constant judgment and ridicule?”
“I learned to ignore them long ago.”
“How long ago? How long does it take to get used to being an outsider?”
I really did want to know. If I was assured that someday the harsh and spiteful words and actions of others would cease to bother me, perhaps I could tough it out for now.
Cade only grinned, the light of the bonfire cutting a fierce shadow across his face.
“That all depends on the person. When you finally understand who you are, really understand, then their indifference won’t seem so bad. Trust me.”
I turned those words over in my head. Trust him. Despite my better judgment, I did trust him. Did he trust me, though? I was tempted to ask him why Drustan and the others shunned him, especially after what the Dagda had said, but I kept those questions at bay. Now didn’t feel like the right time.
Cade took a deep breath and held out a hand. I stared at it for a moment.
“I suggest we head back inside, especially now that I’ve managed to extricate myself from the talons of that little blond harpy,” he said, shuddering in what I liked to think was disgust.
I looked at him with wide eyes and he smiled back at me before continuing, “It’s nearly midnight and we don’t want to miss the spectacle my foster father has planned. Besides, don’t you want to practice dancing for your prom tomorrow night?”
Forgetting my worry, I grinned back and took his hand. The moment we entered the loud hall, Cade pulled me into a fast jig and from that point on I forgot about my earlier jealousy, about Drustan’s rude behavior, about what the Dagda had told me, about my worry over Danua. I was completely absorbed in the music and Cade’s every word and lingering touch.
The Dagda’s musicians played three more songs, one being slower than the rest, and Cade didn’t give me up for any of them. All the awful events of the night seemed to melt away as he hugged me close and led me in a slow dance. I leaned my head against his chest, breathing in his unique scent and letting the smooth rhythm of a Celtic tune sweep me away. I felt, for the first time in weeks, as if this was exactly where I belonged.
Midnight rolled around and the Dagda had everyone clear away from the center of the room. He invited those who wished to display their talents to step up and give us their best. Cade and I watched in amazement and humor as several people tried to impress us with their juggling, acting or mimicking skills. We were encouraged by our host to boo the ones who failed at their task and cheer on anyone showing an unusual talent. By the end of the show, my face hurt from laughing so hard.
Partway through the performance, Cade left to get us some more refreshments. On his way back, one of the Dagda’s guards entered from a side hallway and made a bee line towards him, intercepting him before he could reach me. The man gave a polite bow and handed Cade a rolled parchment sealed with wax. The guard returned to his post in silence as Cade studied the seal with a slight frown.
“What’s the matter Cade?” I called out.
He didn’t seem to hear me. He cracked the wax on the missive and started unrolling it. A sudden flourish of music pulled my attention back towards the dance floor and I laughed out loud when I saw the Dagda, his huge form, leaping from foot to foot, as limber and agile as a gymnast.
A light touch on my shoulder jerked my attention back towards Cade. He had moved closer to me, the piece of parchment held tightly in his hand. His face had turned grim and all the joyous light in his eyes had vanished.
I eyed the crumpled paper and spotted a small symbol on one corner. My heart stopped when I recognized the image. A black bird. A raven. I gestured towards his hand. “What does it say?”
Cade took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair, a sure sign something was distressing him.
“Cade!” I repeated, becoming frantic as I stood up and knocked the goblet I’d been drinking out of to the floor. The cup made a dull crack against the ground, spilling mead on the carpet as well as the stone.
Cade looked up at me, his eyes darkening as his anger rose. “A message from the Morrigan. She is on her way to the dolmarehn that leads into the swamp behind your house. She intends to enter the mortal world with the purpose of killing your family.”
-Seventeen-
Disclosure
I didn’t even pause to tell the Dagda I was leaving. The moment Cade told me what the message said, a roaring of some internal emotion flooded my senses. My fingers began to tingle and the little pit of magic next to my heart started glowing again.
I grabbed Cade’s hand and tugged him down the great hall. He came easily with me, his own steps long to match my fast pace.
“If we push Speirling, we should arrive at the dolmarehn in half the time it usually takes. The missive said she was still several hours away from the castle, so with luck and speed, we’ll reach the dolmarehn before she does.”
I was glad Cade was talking, because I had lost the ability to speak. All my body knew at the moment was that we needed to race as fast as possible, back to my family before anything happened to them. If the Morrigan used her power against them, they wouldn’t stand a chance. No Meghan, don’t think, I told myself as the first sob broke free, don’t think about anything. Just get home.
Cade realized my anguish and stopped abruptly, pulling me around by the hand he still held and locking me into a close embrace.
“We’ll get back in time Meghan,” he breathed against my hair, “we’ll get
there before she does.”
I returned his embrace, wrapping my arms around him. His heartbeat matched my own, and I wanted nothing more than to lean into Cade; let his simple presence will away my fear and sorrow.
He held me for a few moments more, then just as briskly as he had scooped me up, he released me and pulled me through the huge door of the entrance hall of the Dagda’s home. He darted back inside to grab a cloak, then threw the thick material over my shoulders and wrapped it tight in front of me.
A small group of boys loitering near the bonfire jumped at our sudden burst through the doors.
“My horse, please. The large black stallion,” Cade said sternly.
One boy nodded and darted off. As we waited, I watched the flames of the fire dance and flicker in the breeze. The night would be cold and windy, and I sensed a storm blowing in. My whole body quivered and Cade pressed me close again, smoothing his hand over my hair and murmuring words in the ancient language of this world, none of which I understood.
The young boy returned, tugging Speirling behind him. Fergus trotted silently after him and I heard Meridian’s distressed cries somewhere above us. Before I could so much as take a breath, Cade climbed on top of Speirling’s back and pulled me up to sit in front of him.
“Tell the Dagda we give our apologies, but something urgent has come up,” Cade called down to the startled boys.
He didn’t wait for a reply, but dug his heels into his horse’s sides and we went tearing across the ground, Speirling’s hooves kicking up the dirt of the smooth road.
Cade kept one hand on the reins and one arm around my waist. His grip was protective, possessive even. If we were racing through the dark countryside for any other reason than to save my family from the Morrigan’s wrath, I would have been tickled pink. Well, and a bit terrified of falling and being trampled. I took what little comfort I could in Cade’s arms and tried not to let my mind descend into hysteria.
Unfortunately, my mind paid no attention to me. Mom, Dad, the twins . . . Bradley and Logan. Aiden. That’s when I lost what remained of my feeble composure; thinking of Aiden. My baby brother, the one who looked most like me even though we weren’t blood related. Aiden was the most helpless of them all. Not able to help myself any longer, I turned my head and buried it in Cade’s shoulder and simply let the tears come. He started murmuring to me in those ancient words again as we sped through the night, but the agony in my heart just wouldn’t go away.
Dolmarehn - Book Two of the Otherworld Trilogy Page 19
