Chapter 3
Sara heard the knock on the door. “Yes, can I help you?” She opened to see the telegram delivery boy at the door.
“Yes ma’am I have a message for you.” He handed her the folded piece of paper.
Sara opened it and read the message.
My Dearest Sara,
I’d like to introduce myself. I am Jeb Howard; I am a 31 year old widower from the Arizona Territory. I have black hair and green eyes, weigh 245 pounds and stand 6’ 3” tall. Yes I am a bit on the rubenesque side myself! I am interested in marrying you for the following reasons. Please keep in mind that I was married before for a total of 7 years before I lost my lovely wife some 5 years ago now. I have found that these years have been far too lonely for me. I am a man who desires human contact and communication from a lovely woman who I can call my wife. Maybe saying that I am lonely won’t win your heart, but I hope to win it one day anyway in other ways. I am a gentleman who believes that chivalry is a must. I would like to buy a ticket for you to come to me as soon as possible. I’m not sure what else to say about myself really, but I hope to hear a positive response from you soon. I’ve placed some money on an account that you can use to send a telegram back to me. Unless you feel that I would not be the correct person for you, then you may not respond. However, I would appreciate knowing, so that I may continue my search as well.
Yours Truly,
Jeb Howard
She smiled at the note. He seemed like a pleasant man, but what could you really tell through a telegram? Sara wasn’t sure but she had a good feeling about him. He was older than her, so he would be more mature than Jake, surely. He was a bit heavier, that meant he wouldn’t try and pressure her to lose weight.
She had to deal with that from Jake all the time. She thought back for the first time she met her late husband. She had been 20 at the time and he was only a spry 18, but he was so handsome. She had been immediately attracted to his boyish charm. The key word to her at that time should have been boyish, it would have hinted at her relationship with him.
Sara often wondered now why Jake had married her, she didn’t get it. He was so much more than she was, had so much more to offer then she did. But she still liked to believe he loved her, even when he was mean to her.
Mary Ann had been right, Jake hadn’t been a good husband to her, but Sara blamed herself for that not him. If she would have just been a bit smaller, he might have loved her more.
“Your too fat Sara, you need to lose weight.” He had scoffed at her more than one time. Usually it would be when they had just started to eat dinner.
The first time he had done it had cut the deepest in her soul. She had felt ashamed that she wasn’t smaller, more attractive. He didn’t know that she had started to throw up her food after every meal. It helped she lost a little bit of weight, but not a ton. He had still complained about her size after that, and she knew she would never be good enough for him.
Mary Ann hadn’t known about this chapter in her life either. Sara had kept it hidden inside of her. The only reason her friend knew how mean Jake was, had been because she’d witnessed on several occasions.
The cutting words often came out of his mouth like fire. It would burn Sara deeply, and make her feel less and less like a woman. Perhaps she should be happy he died that night long ago? But she missed him still. Sara missed even the mean words that seemed to fly from his mouth frequently near the end of his life.
Sara tried to shake herself out of the negative though. It always made her feel like she did back then, sad and worthless. She worked on building herself up a lot after he died, and had done a good job. Most of the time she wouldn’t let thoughts of Jake and his behavior slip into her conscious mind. She had safely tucked most of those memories away, deep in the darkest recesses of her mind.
She picked up the letter from Jeb again and read it one more time. “Why not, what do I have to lose?” She sighed heavily. Sara knew that Mary Ann would push her to respond later on anyway, so why not get it down with now.
Sara walked to the telegram office and tried to compose a thoughtful answer to Jeb, but couldn’t come up with anything. “Maybe I should go home and think up the response, write it down, and then come to the office?” She wondered.
Instead she continued to the office and picked up a paper there. Looking down she thought of what she should say.
Chapter 4
Jeb was at home when he heard the knock on his door. He opened to find he had a telegram. He quickly took the note and gave the man a tip.
“Thank you sir, have a good night.” The boy left with a smile on his face.
Jeb’s hands were shaking as he opened the letter. He hadn’t realized he would be so nervous to find out her answer. “Please let it be good.” He closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.
Hello Jeb,
I was very glad to hear from you. I think I would enjoy coming out there to Arizona and living with you. I don’t know what else to say about me.
Yours Kindly,
Sara Adams
He smiled and felt a weight lift off his chest. “How do I get her here the quickest?” He said aloud and thought of the most current options. Jeb finally figured that the train would be the quickest, though he wasn’t sure how much it would cost him. “I think this is worth it!” He said, knowing that his finances were just fine, and he could easily pay most prices. He hadn’t shared with her anything about his wealth. He knew there were plenty of women out there who would simply come and try to milk him dry.
Jeb’s eyes closed a bit as he thought about his one attempt since his wife had died to date. It had been a very short lived two months with her, far too long. He thought about her, Betty, and shook his head.
It had been his loneliness that had allowed her to fool him. He had simply wanted the touch and feel, and yes even smell of a woman in the house. She had fooled him quite well, convinced him she was just a “dancer”, nothing more. That was how she had phrased it he was sure.
“Oh honey, I’m just a dancer. I wish I didn’t have to work here, but what can a girl like me do? I can’t do something where I will get dirty. But if I found a man who would love me and take care of me? He heard her voice in his head like she was right there.
He had looked at her and felt so sorry for her. “You can come home with me; I’ll take care of you.” Jeb remembered the very words had come out of his mouth that night.
“Really, you would do that for little old me, do you love me?” She had purred to him.
Jeb didn’t love her, but would have admitted to just about anything at that point. He perhaps lusted over her company, not necessarily sex. He ached to hear a female voice in his house again. Sure he would have sex with her, but it wasn’t what he wanted the most.
“Companionship that was what I wanted.” He said it aloud, admitting it. “What an idiot I was.” He stated.
She had of course came home with him. But soon he realized that she had simply come for his money. He had talked about how rich he was to her earlier in the night. Bragged about how much money he had all over the place.
He was just glad he found out soon enough what she was, or he would be broke right now. Jeb had come home one day to surprise her and had found her entertaining another man in their bed. He had heard them talking too as they were having sex.
“So how much money you find now?” He heard the male ask.
Then he heard her voice. It sounded like poison now. “So much, but I know there is more. I just found some yesterday, it was around 1,000 dollars.” She laughed.
“How much longer you going to stay, I mean have you fucked him yet. You know that your ass is mine, not his right?” Jeb heard the man ask.
“Baby I keep leading him on, telling him I don’t feel like it yet. He’s been lucky to get a kiss from me every once in a while.” She stated.
Jeb had heard enough at that point, he kicked in the door and threw them both out of his house, but not before he beat the
hell out of them. He had been so furious at what he had found out. His anger welled up in his chest still when he thought of it.
It had been a few years ago now since that night. But at times like this he felt like it was taking place now. His heart would still ache at how badly he was fooled by her. It was one of the reasons why he was worried about Sara, but not near as much as he would be, if she knew he was rich.
He would even keep it a secret for a while after she got to town. “Just to see how she is around me.” Jeb said.
If he was lucky enough to find another woman like his first wife, he would be thrilled. Not that their marriage was perfect, not at all. He remembered they would fight sometimes like cats and dogs. But never once did they go to sleep without making up and knowing they were good with each other.
Jeb knew that even when she died she had no doubt about his love for her. He wanted this feeling and relationship again. He could only hope that Sara would be the one to offer it to him.
For now though he wanted to think back to his late wife. He could see her long blonde hair as it floated down to her shoulders. He had loved touching her hair all the time. Jeb could almost feel a strand in his hand right now. But it was only a phantom feeling, he knew it.
“Oh I miss you so much at times.” Jeb said, thinking of her. “I have to find it again; I want to feel happy again.” Jeb added.
He knew that it wasn’t fair to Sara for him to continue to think of his late wife. So he tried to adjust his mind and way of thinking. He had just bought her ticket and she would be here in two days. That was all the time he had to wipe away the thoughts of his late wife, and how she had made him feel.
“I need to give Sara a chance too.” Jeb stated.
Jeb knew that he would have a tough time doing it. For such a long time they were each other’s lives. Everything in their world evolved around the other in the relationship. He had always believed in communicating with her as much as he could. Jeb had no secrets from her either. He wanted complete honesty in their marriage. It was something he would demand from Sara as well, if she would be his new wife.
He felt the flutter of fear at giving his heart out to another woman. Not that he had done it with her either, he thought back to the poisoned venom comments from her again. That was the kind of woman he hoped that Sara would not be. Jeb wouldn’t stand for it, if she was like that, he would just as soon be alone.
Chapter 5
Sara got the telegram and found out that she was leaving the next day. She went to tell Mary Ann. Her friend had been so happy to hear she had written back to this man and agreed to move.
“I’m so happy for you. Oh I bet it’s nice out there, you’ll see so much.” Mary Ann had said to Sara when she had told her about Jeb Howard and his letter.
“I knew you would be.” Sara had smiled at Mary Ann.
Now she went over to tell her friend she would be leaving tomorrow. “Mary Ann, he sent me a ticket.” Sara smiled. Though she still felt nervous inside about doing this whole thing, she had finally accepted that it was going to happen.
“So when do you leave?” Mary Ann asked.
“Tomorrow, so I need to really pack up. However, if you want to stop over later it will be nice.” Sara said to her.
“Okay, I’ll be over in a few hours.” Mary Ann had hugged her.
Sara was sad that she was leaving her friend as well. She could tell that Mary Ann had been close to crying at the thought as well. Tonight when they said their final goodbyes would be hard for Sara.
She walked home and thought about Jeb and her new life. Her heart wanted to believe that he was a good choice, but there was fear there as well. Even though he was a bigger man, it didn’t mean he liked his women large. It was something that really frightened her though.
Sara had gained a bit of weight since Jake had died. She wasn’t proud of it, but at first she had ate out of guilt at her life. Then she ate because she really loved food. She looked at her body in the mirror, she looked entirely too fat to be attractive to anyone. What if he felt the same way too? She thought and pictured Jeb looking at her in disgust. Sara had seen the look on Jake’s face enough when he had been alive.
She wondered if he had it the first time he saw her to. “Why would he marry me if he didn’t like me at that weight? I might have gained two pounds in our marriage, maybe 10? But I wasn’t fat at all, why wasn’t I good enough?” The questions came out like so many times. It was a rapid fire wondering of why so many things had been based on her weight.
Her heart tried to tell her that she was fine, that Jeb would like her just the way she was. But the one thing that kept coming back to her was how Jake would tell her she was too fat. A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and she felt it roll down her face.
She wondered what it would be like to be with someone who accepted her the way she was and not try to change her. It had to be nice to feel free and able to not put on a mask to everyone around you. She knew it would be nice. Sara let her mind slip to a point where she tried to imagine Jeb falling in love with her and liking her the way she was.
It made the task of moving and facing this new adventure easier for her. As she packed she pictured a happy life. A life where Sara and Jeb would love each other the same and she wouldn’t feel like she fell short. Sara smiled thinking that she could have this type of life, it was the way life was supposed to be, of that she was sure.
“But without this pain in my past, would I be the same I am today?” She said out loud. It was a good question, and one that she might focus on a bit. She didn’t feel that she would be the same person today, not without Jake pushing her the way he had. “I don’t want to have to change for anyone.” She sighed.
She pictured Jeb, and hoped that he was a man who was truly kind. “I hope he likes me like I am.” She whispered.
That night Mary Ann came over, and said her final good byes. Sara cried as her friend left out the door.
“I’ll try to come see you off in the morning, though it is quite early to be up.” Mary Ann said.
“It’s okay; I would rather not cry my eyes out tomorrow before I leave. I’ll look a mess when I get to him.” Sara stated.
They hugged once more and that was it. Sara closed the door and went to sleep. She had a long trip in front of her, and a brand new life. She smiled as she closed her eyes, thinking of a good life, and hoping for it at the same time.
Chapter 6
Jeb waited for the train to pull in, his nerves where on edge at the thought Sara would be here soon. He had gotten his hair cut and a nice shave. His beard and mustache were nicely trimmed. If she didn’t like the beard and moustache he had decided he would shave it off.
The night before he had barely slept at all, instead he had cleaned the house completely. He wanted her to come to a nice looking house. He could feel his leg jumping up and down in a nervous habit. He could barely sit still as he waited for the train to come in.
He watched as it glided up to the stop. Jeb stood up and waited for her to step off the train. He wondered if she would think he looked nice, and would she like him. He took a deep breath and watched the passengers as they got off the train.
Jeb watched as he saw the only passenger that could be Sara. He looked at her shape and was instantly attracted to her. He walked up to her and introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Jeb Howard, you must be Sara.” He held his hand out.
“Yes I am. It’s nice to meet you.” She grabbed his hand back. He felt the warmth of her skin, and how soft her hands were.
“It’s very nice to meet you as well. You are lovely. I hope no one has ever told you differently.” Jeb stated.
He watched as a blush spread over her face. “Thank you very much.”, she said and looked at the ground.
“I hope I didn’t embarrass you. Surely you are used to compliments?”, he said, and once more complemented her.
“No actually, not very much at all.” Sara admitted.
“Well any man who can�
�t see your true beauty is just shallow in my opinion.” He said. “Come along, I’ll take you to the house. Oh first though how do you like the beard and moustache?” He asked.
“Oh I think they make you look very attractive indeed.” Sara said a flush crossing over her face again.
Jeb smiled broadly. “I’m glad you like it. I’ve never really kept one long, well a moustache, but not the beard.” He stated.
“I like it a lot really.” Sara admitted. Jake had always been clean shaven. She had to be honest and admit she really preferred Jeb’s look to her late husbands.
He helped her down off the wagon. He hugged her quickly and surprised her. But instead of pulling back, she embraced him back. He heard her sigh deeply, or it could have been him, perhaps even both of them. Jeb wasn’t sure, but he liked how she felt in his arms.
“That feels good, I like this, hope you don’t mind.” Jeb said in her ear as he continued to hold her.
“No I like it a lot.” Sara held him back. She felt her heart melt inside far too quickly.
“Okay, let’s go inside.” Jeb grabbed her hand.
Sara liked how it felt for him to hold her hand. It hadn’t been something that Jake had ever done with her, except when they had danced together. It had only been a few dances though, and often he would leave her at home and go by himself.
“It’s beautiful.”, she said as she looked around the house.
Jeb had showed her every room and had now headed to the bedroom. It was the last room in the house. “I’m sorry, but I only have one bedroom. If you want me to sleep on the couch I can do that.”
He saw her blush at the thought of being in the bed with him. He could feel the heat coming off of her skin though.
“No it’s okay.”, she said.
“Okay. So tell me Sara are you hungry, because I’m starving.”, he said.
The Duke's Dilemma: Regency Romance Menage Short Stories Page 31
