Sally grabbed his arm. “Don’t, she’s just really trying to help you out. She said that you work far too much and never take the time to look for love. She described the way you looked perfectly. I could see an image of what I thought you would look like when I met you, it’s a perfect replica.”, she told him.
He stopped and listened to her. “What else did she tell you?”, he asked...the curiosity getting the better of him.
She laughed, he smiled, and it was a nice laugh. “I don’t remember everything. We’ve been talking for about 6 months now I think. If it isn’t 6 months, it is really close to that. I’d rather hear the stories from you anyway. When a person who loves us talks about us, they always make it seem great. But I know that everyone has imperfections. Just remember that she loves you very much, and she doesn’t want you to die alone.” Sally added at the end.
Sam thought for a few minutes. “Well she is right; I’ve not seriously looked for a woman to marry. I am busy a lot of the time. It’s a hard life being a prospector, and not really one that will be right for a woman. I mean I’ll still be gone a lot of the time, you can’t come with me up there.” Sam explained.
“I don’t know about that, I don’t see why I couldn’t be there with you. It would give you someone to talk too, and an extra eye for when people might be trying to sneak up and ambush you.” Sally said.
“Oh no, she told you that story.” He sighed and shook his head.
“Yes she did, she was so worried about you when you didn’t come home for 5 days in a row.” Sally stated.
“I wasn’t jumped by anyone for my claim though. She just took the story and made it all her own.” Sam said.
“So tell me what happened. I’ve been dying to know since I first heard about it.” Sally smiled.
“I was out by my claim. I know most of the guys around there, and we trust each other. But there was a new guy out around us. He decided that he wanted to try a few tricky maneuvers and try to steal someone’s land, he didn’t care whose. The new guy actually tried to attack the guy who was placed fairly close to me, I heard the fighting. I ran to help my friend and got hit a few times. After we took care of the attacker, I cared for my friends claim and mine for a few days as he recovered.” Sam explained.
“Oh so they didn’t sneak up on you, but could have. So your mother is right you might need someone with you to help.” Sally stated.
Sam looked at Sally; he was confused by her behavior. She seemed to not care about the danger, or perhaps his mother had made her say it. He was suspicious of how much coaching his mother might have done of this woman. “I don’t know about that. It really isn’t something a woman should be doing.”
“Well I think you should let me go, I may like it, and I may not. At least I could see what you do all day long.” Sally said.
“Yeah I guess so.” Sam replied with a heavy sigh. He wasn’t the type who would fight for long, and in all honesty, she might make it less boring. Plus it would give him a chance to get to know her better. He still couldn’t believe that his mother had ordered a mail-order bride for him. No worse yet, she had courted her for him the whole time too. “Just out of curiosity did my mother ever tell you I didn’t know about you?”, he asked.
“She said that you were too busy and that she was helping you find a wife. That she knew everything about you anyway, and would be able to find a good girl to marry. But I figured that you at least knew about me, until today.” Sally admitted.
“No, this was the first time I’ve heard about you since she first found you.” Sam said.
She laughed. “Well I guess she felt you would put a stop to the whole thing if you found out.”
“Your right, I would have tried. But my mother is pretty darn stubborn anyway.”
“She said the same thing about you by the way!” She laughed again.
Sam shook his head. “Well let me show you to your new home.” He grabbed her trunk and put it in the wagon. He helped her get up on the wagon and headed towards his home.
Sally looked around as they rode to her new home, his home. She was nervous around him, perhaps it was because she wasn’t sure how he felt. Well she knew that he had no clue about her coming out here now, and she had to wonder if it would work out. Sally had really felt that she had gotten to know Sam through the mails that her and his mother had exchanged. She felt that she would really like him; she knew already that she had found him attractive.
She thought back to the first time she had heard what he looked like. She wanted a man who was taller than her, and he was by 5 inches. He was 27 years old; she thought this would be a more mature age. His brown hair was slightly longer, but not too long, it made him look rugged. His brown eyes would seem normal, except for the shards of yellow that were lingering here and there in them. It made them something else to study and look into, she had found out. That was the only part of his description that Sam’s mother hadn’t included.
Sally stole a look out of the side of her eyes at him. He had a stern look on his face, like he was upset about the whole situation and didn’t want to be here. In all honesty, she couldn’t really blame him though. If the tables would have been turned and she was being introduced to a man who someone else picked for her, she wouldn’t be too happy either.
Of course she didn’t have anyone to do that for her though. Her parents had died long ago, and even when they were alive they hadn’t been very caring. She could remember many times wondering why her parents hated her, or at least that was how they treated her.
Someone though she had come out of her childhood as a somewhat normal woman. However, she longed to find love and someone who would want her around. She had dated one man back home, but then he had died during the war.
Sally was actually more than happy to get out of South Carolina and move to Arizona. She hoped it would bring an all new life, something that was worth living. For years she had wondered if love was ever going to come around. While she had been communicating with Sam’s mother she had felt that perhaps it was possible. But now looking at him, she wasn’t sure at all.
The thought of being here and him not loving her, or no one loving her was one that made Sally quite sad. She sighed deeply and he turned to her. “Is everything okay?”, he asked a look of concern on his face.
“No it’s far too long of a story to share, and really isn’t something that is important to you.” Sally said.
“Well you may be my wife one day, so I should learn about you. So far I don’t know much at all, except that you are 24 and quite beautiful.” Sam said.
She blushed at his compliment. She had never been told she was beautiful, not even by the one man she had been courted by. He had simply been ready to marry her, because she was about the only available choice in the area. At least that was what he had hinted at, though he had never said it out loud to her. It was more the way he had acted around her. She had seen many other women who were being courted and how their men treated them. He had been nothing like that with her. She pushed the memories out of her head.
“Thank you, no one has ever said that to me.”, she admitted.
“Well they need their eyes checked then.”, he stated. “So tell me what the sigh was for.”, he probed.
“I’ve just had a life where I’ve wondered if love can be found or not. From early life, when my parents didn’t act like they loved me, and through another relationship. I was hoping that the way your mom was talking in the letters that you were just as ready to find love as me. But since you didn’t even know about it, that can’t be true, now can it? Instead it looks like my search may continue longer and honestly I’m tired of it. Why do so many people value love so little?”
“It’s not that I’m not looking for love, I wouldn’t mind being married. But again, you know my life is one where I’m out prospecting the majority of my time during the day. There are plenty of times that I sleep up by my claim as well. So how is it fair to ask a woman to only get part of my time? Wouldn�
�t I be better off waiting a bit longer when I can offer her something more?”, he countered.
“But again, you don’t know if you don’t give it a chance. How do you know that some woman, like me, won’t be happy being at your claim with you? You don’t know, because you’ve never given it a chance. You’ve blocked yourself off from chances; your mom is right about that.” Sally stated.
Sam looked at her, he wasn’t too happy about her observation, but he had to admit she might be right. He slowed the wagon and stopped. “Here we are, home sweet home. I’ll help you with your stuff and then I have to leave.”
“What, you’re leaving already? I thought we discussed about me going with you, why not now?” Sally asked.
“You just got into town and are most likely tired.” Sam said.
“Why don’t you ask me, instead of making my decisions for me?” Sally stood firm.
He sighed heavily, he knew what her answer would be, and she was pushing it far too much. “Do you want to go with me to my claim? It might be a bit of time before we come home though. So don’t expect for me to stop and bring you back in an hour because you’re bored.” Sam said.
She laughed. “That just goes to show you know nothing about me, or you wouldn’t make that comment. But if you give me a chance you’ll learn. I realize you may not like me when you get to know me, but at least try. That’s all I’m asking. Your mother contacted me and picked me for a reason, so why not get to know what she found out, and more about me.” Sally shook her head as she talked.
Sam looked at her and agreed. “I know, you are right, I shouldn’t just give up. I just feel like my mother manipulated me into something I’m not honestly sure if I’m ready for or not.”, he admitted.
“I’m not asking you to run to the judge right now and marry me am I? There’s a reason for that. It’s because your mother loves you dearly, but she won’t notice your faults. I have to figure out if the things you don’t like me to do, are actually things I won’t mind giving up.” Sally said.
“Give up things, why would I do that? Seems like a really mean thing to do, if you care about someone, you should never try to control what they do. It’s like not allowing the person to be truly themselves. I would never want someone to do that to me either.” Sam stated.
She looked at him in shock. She had honestly thought this was something that was normal for people to do. At least it had happened to her for the past 20 some years or more. She couldn’t remember the first time that her parents had made her stop something she found fun. But she could remember one day and that was all she needed.
“Sally, what are you doing out here? You’re filthy, how did you get so muddy? Come on now. You are unbelievable, I hate you. I wish you would never have been born.” She could remember her mother’s words perfectly that day. It had been when she was 4 years old. It had rained outside and their back yard was a big swimming pool. Granted it was a muddy swimming pool, but she was 4 years old, she wanted to have fun.
The words had cut her, and that wasn’t the last time she would hear the same basic content. “I hate you and I wish you would have never been born.” Those words were said to Sally so often when she was growing up, she honestly thought it was normal to not love.
If she wouldn’t have met her friend Mary in school she might have never learned about love. But Mary had befriended her and showed Sally that there was such a thing as love. It was a feeling that she adored and wished she could have every day of her life. Instead she had found someone else who had done the same thing to her.
How Sally had ever found Jack interesting she never could figure out. He was the meanest, nastiest piece of crap she could have ever met. The fact that he paid a little bit of attention to her though was enough for Sally. She convinced herself that he would learn to love her, but the 2 years they were together before the war, he hadn’t changed.
“Are you okay?” Sam looked at her. He had noticed she had gone silent after her comment. He had answered her, but she had seemed to not hear him.
“I’m sorry I was just reliving some of my past.” Sally shook her head, her mind clearing.
“Why don’t you come up to the claim with me, and we can talk about it. I do what to learn more about you, just so you know. Perhaps I’m worried that if I give my heart to someone they might trample on it. It happened once, and I really don’t want to deal with that pain again.” Sam said.
She looked at him; in his eyes she could see the pain. Yes she knew that feeling all too well, she thought. “I’d like that, thank you.”, she answered.
Sally felt happy inside, if only for a chance to get to know him better. She thought back to the first correspondence from Sam’s mother and had to smile. She had done such a good job of explaining her son’s personality. It was uncanny how well she knew him, down to the caring soul she had stated he had. “He cares about people deeply and will try and help out everyone.” His mother had written in the letter to Sally.
She had to wonder if she had fallen in love with him at that point. She could tell she was by looking at him and feeling that pain in her chest. Currently it was a mix of happiness that would be trampled on by the fear of him not liking her. Hell she would settle with just a friend right now, though she really wanted to marry him.
This was something that she had to keep wrapped up though. She knew that if he learned that she loved him, he would surely run off. He might even send her away and she would lose him forever. That thought was something that she didn’t want to think about. But she knew it had to be considered. One wrong move on her part, and Sam would run for the hills and never set his smile upon her again.
I’m scared, she thought. I don’t want to go through this again, followed behind quickly. Honestly she wished that he had known about her, and had gotten to know her better before now. Sally had been tossed to the side all too often in the past, by the people she had loved. It could happen again, she knew that, but really she would rather focus on the good things. He was letting her go with him to the claim, that was a huge start, and it made her feel warm once more.
“Do I have enough time to change into one of my older dresses first before we go?”, she asked him.
“Sure, go ahead and change. I’ll put you up in the guest room.” Sam said.
“Thank you.” She said and followed him to the room. As he left, she was already opening and finding her older dress to put on. She wished she had some male britches they would be far more comfortable. I wonder if I can ask him, she said. Why not? Why should I suffer in these clothes and not be able to explore nature as much as I want? She opened the door to the room and yelled for him.
“Yes, what can I do for you?”, he asked as he rounded the corner.
“This may seem a bit of an odd request, but could I borrow a pair of your trousers and a belt?”
He laughed at her and said, “Sure but I’m pretty sure they’ll be huge on you.”
“It’s okay; I’ll wear a longer shirt so that it won’t look too badly. Plus we’re going out to your claim right? Why would I dress up to do that?” Sally answered.
“You are one interesting person Sally Palms.” He laughed and went off to get a pair of pants and a belt for her. “Here you are.”, he said as he came back a few minutes later.
“Thank you, I’ll be right down.” Sally said and closed the door. She put the pants on and saw how huge they were on her. “Not too bad, easy fix!” She said and bent down to roll up the cuffs of the pants a bit.
She looked in the mirror to see how close both sides were to one another. “That looks good.” Sally grabbed the belt and cinched it up as tight as she could. She studied herself in the mirror once more and decided she looked fine.
“Okay, I’m ready.”, she said coming into the living room area.
He looked up at her and didn’t say a word, he was stunned into silence. Then he nodded his head. “I must say that looks really nice on you.”, he complimented her.
“Thank you, it’s just
much easier if you are outside to dress like this.” Sally said.
“So you’ve done it before?” Sam asked.
Sally nodded her head. “I can’t tell you how many times I would grab a pair of my dad’s trousers and sneak outside when I was growing up. I was okay if he found me, but if my mother caught me. Well I don’t really want to talk about that right now. I honestly just want to enjoy the fact that you didn’t tell me no.” Sally stated.
“I actually think it’s a smart move. A dress when you’re at the claim makes no sense. You would get all messy and dirty, and then the complaining would begin. I really don’t want to deal with that.” Sam admitted.
“Dirty and messy, you think that bothers me?”, she laughed as she shook her head. “I just don’t know what to tell you about me, besides I’ve been dirty and messy my whole life. It was one of the biggest problems my mother had with me.” Sally replied.
“I thought little girls hated mud and dirt?”, he laughed.
“I was a different type of little girl. I loved outside so much. I would have slept out under the stars if I could have, away from my mother. Dirt and mess and mud was for me. Once when I was 4 years old I went swimming in the back yard after a rain fall. It was so muddy; I was covered from head to toe when my mother found me. I got such a beating that day.” Sally said. The words her mother had uttered that day had been a lasting scar though.
“You were only 4? She shouldn’t have spanked you for that. You’re only a child; let you have fun, that’s what she should have done. I don’t think I’d like your mother very much.” Sam said.
“Well that makes two of us. There is no love lost between me and her.” Sally admitted.
He helped her get up on the wagon so they could go out to the claim. “So what about your father, did you get along with him?” Sam asked.
“Not really, he didn’t hit me or yell, but he also let my mother do it. Far too many times he would stand by as she would beat me, not just spank me, and allow it to take place. If he would have just stopped her at least once, maybe I could have a little respect for him. But I don’t, perhaps even if he had stopped her once, I still don’t think I would ever feel fondly of him. It’s hard growing up with two parents who so clearly wish they didn’t have you.” Sally admitted.
The Duke's Dilemma: Regency Romance Menage Short Stories Page 33
