Perhaps they would accept that fact that he could say, “Because I’m a businessman I must hold up my image in town.” That would be his excuse if they asked about his mail order bride option.
He could hear some of his friends already. Or so they liked to call themselves friends. He knew that they were just people to keep him occupied. Someone to take the void out of his life, because he knew they weren’t really friends.
They would still say, “Why’d you get a mail order bride?”
He had already prepared for that though. He looked down at the classifieds and tried to picture the perfect woman in his mind. “She should be loving, caring and want to have kids.” He said out loud as he thought of the woman.
As he read the classifieds though he realized he might have to think of about size and shape instead. But he found out it didn’t matter to him. He found a couple and looked at them again. Finally he picked one by a woman named Gail.
Though he wasn’t really sure about taking on a son, he liked the fact that she had some money. That would make her look less cheap, to those so called friends. They will understand his angle from the money point of view. That will keep them off of him about her being a mail order bride.
He wrote out his response and sent it off. Hopefully, they would be able to get along well. Especially with a kid involved. He thought, and agreed that it was a tough pill to swallow. But he didn’t care what they thought. He would just keep pushing them back to the money he would get in the deal.
Gareth wasn’t one who was influenced by money; he had enough of his own. Those so called friends of his did not have money however. If they knew how much he had on hand, they would always be asking him for some.
So needless to say, they thought he was always close to broke. Even if he had to buy some things he didn’t want to prove he was broke.
“Look I got this new horse from the guy in town.”, he had pointed out one time.
“What was wrong with the other horse?”, his friend had asked.
“I don’t know, just liked the look of this one better.” Gareth had stated. He was shaking his head in his mind though. How did this person even believe any of this? Gareth didn’t know, but he knew the truth of how much he had would never come out.
His message to her had been a little more open though. He didn’t tell her how much he was worth, but he gave a fairly close quote. Though he hoped she wasn’t someone who was only with him for that. “Well now that’s a stupid comment to have?”, his mind said.
Gareth knew it was a business arrangement, but it didn’t mean he could hope for love. He knew most men wouldn’t admit to wanting to settle down. They liked to pull that tough exterior of just how much pain they would gladly accept. But that pain often didn’t include the attempt of love.
He knew it wasn’t something that would come easily. He had learned with his lost wife just how that went.
“So what will you tell those friends, they’ll ask about her?” He heard the rational part of his brain remind him of the other problem he might have to face.
He sat back and thought; well he had been saying she was lost for so long now. Hell, I’ll just tell them I have no idea where she went. It was the truth after all, for all he knew they already were aware of her betrayal.
Gareth shook his shoulders, it didn’t matter anyway, and he knew that he hadn’t loved her for a while. He thought he had at first, and most likely he had. But she had changed quickly after they had gotten married. In all honesty, he was lucky that he had any money left after her. But he had gotten smart and realized that she was spending too much. So he began to squirrel the money away. He had hid the money in many locations that she would be able to find it.
Shortly before she had left, he had cut off almost all the money he had given her.
“Gareth dear I need money to go shopping today.” She had demanded about a month before today.
“What are you planning to buy?” Gareth had asked.
“Maybe a couple of dresses, the shop got in a few new styles.” She had smiled at him. In the past that might have worked.
“You have enough dresses already. We have to cut back, the store isn’t bringing in as much money as it used too. Men are now going off to California; they say the gold is gone here, or close to it.” Gareth had lied.
They lived in Arizona, the gold rush will still going strong. But he knew that his wife would never check it out. She was too busy shopping all day long. Or whatever else she might be doing while he was away working.
“But if you want to have money to buy things from now on, you may want to get a job. I hear the dress shop is hiring now.” Gareth had said.
She had gone crazy on him. Accusing him of all kinds of things that they both knew weren’t true. She had tried to get money many other times after that. Each time he would refuse she would swear at him, and say so many things about him.
Gareth had learned to block them all out after a while. He had not loved her anyway. Perhaps if that love had been present he would have been more upset. But the fact that he had figured out she was only in this marriage for money helped him feel better.
Right now he had to wonder why he hadn’t cut her off a lot sooner. If I had done this several years ago, well life could be different now. He thought.
But now he was simply going to settle for this girl in the classifieds and hope that she would be different. He thought she would definitely be more appreciative of him. After all if she only came with a little money, after a while it would be his work paying their bills.
He would try and love the son like his own. Maybe they could even have children of their own? He thought and smiled at the idea. It would be nice if life could be something different, something wonderful.
Gareth took another swig of the whiskey he liked to keep on hand. This had been a bottle he had kept hidden. Too many times when he had brought a bottle home, it would be gone.
“Hey where did the whiskey go?”, he had asked her on more than one occasion.
“I don’t know. I guess you drank more than you remember.”, she had commented on more than one occasion. But he knew she had been lying. He found a glass in the living room one day. He knew either his wife had been drinking, or she had someone over who had drunk his whisky.
Gareth didn’t care which it was honestly. But he hid this bottle anyway. He had snuck just a few shots out of it so far. But now he could keep it out in the open and drink as much of it as he wanted.
So he filled up his glass once again, his eyes were barely open he was so drunk. He lifted it and swallowed the contents of the full glass. The whiskey burned down his throat. He coughed; it was nice to feel nothing but a silent buzz in his head.
Gareth put his head on the pillow of the bed. He had already delivered his reply to Gail Wynd. Now he would just have to wait for the mail. At least Texas wasn’t too far, so it might get to her in the matter of a week.
For now he would keep himself busy with the bottle and his work. It was a good combination for now.
Chapter 3
Gail got the mail and noticed a letter from Arizona. The name on it was Gareth Wilson, maybe it was a response to her classified? She opened the letter trying to keep her composure. Since she had placed the classified a month before, she had gone back and forth on whether it was a good idea or not.
She had wondered how long the money they had would last, and whether she should worry about finding a husband? There were so many questions in her mind that she really wasn’t sure about. She often sat at night and hoped that no one would ever write back to her classified. Perhaps if she was put in the position where she had to find out more about her options, well what if the money didn’t last? That would always be her last thought in the process.
Gail wanted to be able to survive on her own. But in the long run she knew it was more about love then the money. She knew it would most likely carry over through the rest of her life. How much would Sam have left? She didn’t know and she wasn�
�t willing to play around with his future.
One thing she didn’t want to do to Sam was to give him everything he ever wanted. She wanted him to learn that life wasn’t always easy, and that one had to work for money. Gail often thought that was one of the reasons her parents had always been so uncaring, because they were raised with money.
She still wasn’t sure how she had garnered a different idea or philosophy in life than them. But she was happy to be this way. “It will make him a more rounded person.” She would say to herself on more than one occasion. As she was doing right now, her thoughts running free.
The truth was she didn’t know if she wanted to read the letter from Gareth Wilson or not. Gail already knew that she would have a desire to hope for love, for that glimmer of a chance at happiness. But what if he’s like my parents, or Dale?
I was never loved by any of them, but I offered it up freely. Giving of my heart without a thought, she reminisced. Her heart was heavy with the pain that reminded her of how unloved she had felt for most of her life. The only one who had offered her that unfettered type of love was Sam, and that was just because he was her son.
“He’s part of me, he’ll always love me.” She smiled looking over at Sam. He was working on his homework from school. So far he hadn’t faced any criticism at school; they were still giving him the sympathy of the loss he had suffered from.
Gail had played her part in making Sam think that his father had been a great man. No one in town would question his feelings towards his father. But she couldn’t tell him the truth yet. He would soon find out what sort of man his father had been.
Maybe not though, she thought to herself. Gail might be able to always hide that part of Dale’s nature from Sam. She hoped she could at least. It would make him a better person not remembering some of the problem’s he’d gone through in his young life.
To throw out all of the bad things about his father to him right now would simply crush this little boy. She looked over at him once more. He had really grown in the past month, putting on a few extra inches from his old height. He was an adorable and loving boy right now.
I can’t let him turn out to be like his father. She shook her head, knowing that she didn’t want another woman to experience what she had with Dale. If she saw too much of that type of behavior in Sam, she would have to correct it. It wouldn’t be fair to any woman who came in contact with Sam later in life.
But just how much do I share with him? How much does he remember? She had to wonder. Maybe he knows behind those sad eyes than he’s let on? It was reasonable; he was a very intelligent boy. Too bad Dale had never noticed that.
Gail felt really bad for her son. He had gone through so much in his 8 years of life. If she could go back and change it though, she knew she would go through it all. Just for this little boy right in her life. He was precious. I hope he has a lot of me in him too. She sighed.
I’ll have to be careful who I choose. She knew that the letter was a response; she could feel it in her heart. But she couldn’t be weak when they decided to marry or not. She would go through with it, but she wanted to guard her heart. Gail didn’t want to be hurt again. She didn’t want to give her heart only to find out that she was the one who was giving all of the love again.
All she wanted was to be loved the same way as she gave. It wasn’t too much to ask, she didn’t think. But so far in her life, she hadn’t experienced that level of love from a person, besides Sam.
Opening the letter she read the words.
Hello Mrs. Wynd,
I’m very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. Please accept my condolences in this matter. I would be willing to take you and your son into my home. I hope that you and I may be a compatible match as well, as I would enjoy having a good friend and wife by my side. I run a business and am not hurting for money, nor will you or your son ever be. As long as we stay married I will take care of you both. I think you will find that I am a decent looking gentleman. I am a tall 6’ 3”, having black hair and green eyes. I have been married before, but am willing to take another chance on it. If you are interested in this arrangement, I’ve left funds on an account at the bank so you can send me a telegram with your response. I don’t think I live all too far from you either, so the trip would be short for you and Sam.
Sincerely yours,
Gareth Wilson
She sat and reread the letter a few times. The first thing she was worried about was a person who was rich. He said he did well in his business, did that mean he was like her parents? She didn’t want another loveless relationship, but could she do any better?
Gail decided she couldn’t do better. She could hope, but not too much. It was time to try and harden her heart to any type of love feelings it might try to convince her she felt. He hadn’t said how old he was in the letter either. Did that mean he was some old man? Did it really matter at all?
Now that she had found out how much money she was really worth, all she wanted to do was make sure she saved some for Sam and when he got older. But if she had to use that money for their bills, she would go through it quickly.
Even though she had grown up with rich parents, they had never spoiled her. In fact they barely bought much of anything for her. Maybe that was why she always found it so easy to save? Having grown up with parents who hadn’t shared anything much with their daughter, it had made her this way.
She was scared if she would be able to control her spending. Maybe she would use it all up, and Sam would have nothing to live on. Gail couldn’t do that to her son, he was the only person who had ever loved her this much.
No matter how old this Gareth Wilson was she decided she would take his offer. This way she should be able to make sure Sam wasn’t like Dale. Not that money would fix the type of person Dale had been, but maybe it would have made a difference.
Her mind wandered back to the first time she had seen his true nature. It was shortly after Sam had been born. Dale had come home drunk and he had hurt her. The first hit had been a shock for Gail. The words had been even worse.
“You’re just a rich little princess bitch. If I wasn’t a Texas Ranger you would have never looked my way.”, he had yelled out at her.
“Please the baby just got to sleep, keep your voice down.”, she had pleaded.
“You want me to be quiet?” So instead of talking he had used his open hands and beat her badly.
Gail had cried for days about it, silently. Afraid to share this with anyone, thankfully Sam was too young to see the bruises and ask about that at that time. But as he got older, she had lied to him many times about the bruises.
“Mom, look at that bruise, where did you get that?” Sam had asked her and pointed at a huge mark on her arm.
“I accidentally hurt it yesterday.” She had lied. Not wanting to say that your father did this to me.
It would be at a little older age when Sam had seen the punishment she received from Dale. He had cried out and yelled for his father to stop. Dale had turned on the boy in a rage, and Gail stepped in between them. It hadn’t been the last time either, but thankfully he had never hit the boy.
Did he remember any of it? She really hoped not, she would feel bad that his image of his father was tarnished. However, there was still part of her that was hoping that he did remember it. I don’t want him to love Dale, she thought vengefully.
“Sam I have to run and send a telegraph, you keep studying okay?” Gail stood up and said to her son.
“Sure mom, but I’m almost done with it all. If you wait I can walk with you!” Sam smiled at his mother.
“I can wait a few minutes!” She kissed him on the top of his head and ran her hand through his hair messing it up.
“Ah mom, come on stop it.” He laughed but moved his head so she could do it to him again.
Gail loved Sam very much. She really hoped this Gareth Wilson would be nice to him. He needed to have a good man in his life. It would help to guarantee that he would be nothing like Dal
e when he got older. Well in that case the only thing he would get from Dale was the good looks!
She sat down to wait for Sam to finish and thought a bit about what she hoped this Gareth fellow looked like. She was sure he would dress different than Dale had, that would be nice. Perhaps he would wear a more refined looking suit, and one of those bow ties, she thought.
He hadn’t given a really good description of himself. Leaving out some key information, like his age and his weight.
Again she didn’t think either of them mattered. She finally figured out it didn’t matter if the man loved her, as long as he was good to Sam. That was what she thought would be most important in this whole thing. Whatever it was!
“Hey mom, I’m done.” Sam called out.
They walked down to the bank and she filled out her message. She would tell Sam about it after they got home. He had tried to ask her while she was filling it out what it was about, but she wouldn’t answer him.
Gail wasn’t sure how he would take the news. Really it would depend on how much of Dale’s behavior he had remembered. But if he didn’t remember it and threw a fit in the bank, well everyone in town would know their business. She didn’t want that to happen. Too many people had turned to stare at them as he became more agitated.
“I’ll tell you when we get home.” She finally had said to keep him quiet.
He was quiet immediately, thankfully. But as soon as they were home he asked once again. “What was that message for?”
“We are moving to Arizona.” She said, not knowing how to explain the rest of the situation to him.
“What are we moving there for? Is it for a new dad for me?” Sam asked.
“What makes you say that?” Gail asked shocked at his question.
“They were saying in school that you put in a classified for a husband and a father for me. I don’t care mom, if you think I’ll be upset, I’m not.” Sam stated.
The Duke's Dilemma: Regency Romance Menage Short Stories Page 48
