by Lily Foster
Another train wreck I could not avert my gaze from. There were eight couples in all. Avery entered first with some guy from the football team. I had to admit it, she was ok. She smiled when she saw me and gestured to my outfit, dragging her finger from top to bottom. “Love it,” she mouthed. Next up was some sophomore that I didn’t know with Chris Gallagher, yuck. Three more couples and then the trio of evil descended, one after another. Paige was first, escorted by Colin. I couldn’t say anything about her slutty outfit, given that I was flashing ample side boob, but she had herself pressed up against Colin like she was his Siamese twin. Paige must have wanted to scream because the entire time she was on his arm, Colin had a big-ass grin on his face, waving wildly in Lauren’s direction. He mouthed the words, “You look hot,” to her. I wanted to cry it was so freaking cute. Next up was Charlotte on Brandon’s arm and that was…well…painful to watch.
The guys had all been dressed in these polyester suits with open, wide collared shirts, gold chains, porn moustaches, you name it. Brandon strode down the stairs slowly, taking it all in, playing the part. I looked over and saw Victoria knocking back a shot with Fiona and Warner joining her, taking one for the team. Charlotte looked good, I mean, the girl was pretty. And she was milking this for all it was worth. Brandon had obviously agreed to do some stupid choreographed routine with her too. As they hit the bottom step, he flung her out in a spin and then whipped her back in, dipping her as he ran his finger down the center length of her torso, tits to navel. That fucking ass, I thought angrily. What had come over him? She playfully swatted his hand as he raised her up. All innocent, Charlotte was. Yeah, right…as if half the guys in this room hadn’t already copped a feel.
I was bracing myself. I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. If I started bawling, the copious amounts of mascara Margot had applied would make me look exceedingly pathetic. For this, and a myriad of other reasons, I fought to control my emotions.
I didn’t want to look. I wanted to run but I was stuck, staring, waiting. The two of them stood at the top of the stairs, backs to the crowd. There was Cassie, hair stick-straight and glossy, her body on full display in a backless jumpsuit. As they turned, you could see that her top dipped so low in the front, it gave a nearly full view of the goodies. She looked pleased as punch, the belle of the ball. Pain was searing me, cutting through me, as I slowly dragged my eyes to him.
How could he do this? How could he not know that this would hurt? Or did he know it and he was doing it anyway? Thinking he could smooth it over afterwards, like he had so many times before. Like I’d let him so many times before.
I was done with him.
No more.
I was out.
“What’s your sign, baby?” a voice purred in my ear. Sweet Jesus, I thought my legs were going to give out from underneath me. Just the sound of his voice did it. I was molten lava, unable to manage speech. “I’ve been watching you for the past fifteen minutes, Anna, staring at your ass in these leather pants.” His body was so close behind me that I could feel his erection pressing into my exposed lower back. “And your sweet, sexy tits, Anna…bouncing, teasing me every time you move…driving me fucking crazy.” He breathed against my neck as he spoke. “Will you let me, Anna? Tonight? Will you let me love you again?”
I turned slowly to face him, taking in his giant permed wig, his cheap, blue tinted sunglasses, tie-dyed shirt and jeans. He slid the wig off his head as he removed the sunglasses. “Me, Anna. Do you want me?”
I turned around again, to make sure my mind—and the two shots I’d had—weren’t playing tricks on me. Cassie’s eyes were on mine, her smile tight and forced. They guy on her arm wasn’t Declan…it was Frank Collagrazzo.
I turned back to Declan. He looked so vulnerable suddenly, afraid of my response. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered in his ear, “I’ve always wanted you, Declan. Always.”
I saw him motion to Fiona, gesturing that we were leaving. She had a contented smile on her face.
Declan held me close by his side as we left the bar and he hailed a cab. He sat me on his lap in the back seat and said, looking at me intently, “Anna, you need to know that I love you. I’ll try to never fuck up again, Anna. What I said the other day, that you’re everything? I mean that with all my heart. I love you, so much.”
He kissed me then, a slow, romantic kiss. When we pulled up outside our dorms he paid the cabbie and then looked back to me, hopeful. “Will you spend the night with me?”
I nodded. He grabbed my hand and led me into his dorm taking fast, purposeful strides. His hand shook as he tried to get his key into the lock. “Damn,” he laughed, “I’m nervous.”
He smiled back when he saw me smiling. He let out a deep, steadying breath and then unlocked the door, ushering me inside. “Are you sure, Anna? I don’t want to screw anything up by pushing things too far, too fast.”
I pushed him back a step, so that he fell, sitting on the bed. “Stop talking,” I said as I put my hand on his shoulder to steady myself as I got myself out of my ridiculously high-heeled booties.
He held onto my hips and let out a deep breath as he rested his head against my abdomen. “Do you know how gorgeous you are, woman?”
I lifted his shirt over his head and remained quiet as I took in his chiseled torso. Then I shimmied out of the tight leather pants. I knew what I was doing. I knew how I looked in nothing but the black lacy panties I wore and the shimmery, gold halter top. I could see his lower body reacting and he twitched uncomfortably, waiting for me to set the pace. “Are you keeping your jeans on, Declan?
He smiled at me as he stood and undid the buttons on his fly and slid the jeans down, shucking each leg off. He was a work of art, a perfectly sculpted male specimen. He was staring at my breasts and just the attention of his gaze made my nipples harden. I could see him licking his lips at the sight. I pulled the string at the back of my top and the one at my neck. The scrap of gold fabric fell to the floor. He met my gaze. “Anna, I want to fuck you so badly.”
His words made me hotter. I moved to him and stroked him through his snug boxer briefs. “Take them off, please,” I whispered.
He did and then he held my gaze as he slid his hands down my hips, removing mine as well.
The first time was passionate, forceful, and quick. Declan laughed afterwards, sheepishly. “I’ll make it up to you, Anna. I’ve been waiting for this for so long, thinking about you this way at least ten times a day for nearly two months. I knew I’d bust.”
I kissed him deeply, smiling, and could feel him getting ready to take me again already. The next time—lordy—was slow, sweet, and decadent. He worshipped and tasted every inch of my body and when he entered me, he looked at me with reverence and devotion. My eyes glistened with tears after I came and he held my gaze as he thrust into me over and over, ready finally for his own release.
“Forever, Anna. I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”
Chapter Eleven
Three years later…
Anna
Four years. Classes, parties, papers, staying up all night studying for exams, staying up all night with Declan. Every memory. Every wonderful person who had come into my life. I couldn’t believe this was it.
We would all be leaving our little bubble come tomorrow. Fiona was going home for a few weeks and then she would be moving in with—me!!! Fiona had landed an entry level job at a publishing house, hopefully on her way to becoming the next great American writer. I didn’t kid myself thinking that I was the draw to New York City; I knew she was coming for Warner.
Those two had managed to make it through the past three years. Through countless separations when Warner shuffled between teams his first two seasons in the NHL. He finally called it a day and settled in New York, going to work as a financial analyst, now happily settled into Wall Street life.
The rest of our friends were either starting careers, starting graduate programs or, as in Lauren’s case, starting their own bus
inesses. She was always the most fearless of us all.
Me? I had two weeks off before I started as a full-time employee for Kate and Luke Donovan. The experience I’d gained working side by side with Kate these past three summers would have made it easy to snag an entry level position with one of the more established firms in New York but that was not what I wanted. I wanted responsibility, to be handling projects now, and knew that Kate had confidence in me and in my abilities.
My graduation present from Vince and Margot was a beautiful two-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side. Entirely too extravagant but I knew that the two of them considered me as much a daughter as Dylan was their son. It was in Dylan and CeeCee’s building and less than ten blocks from Declan.
I was so ready. Ready to start my life in New York with my best friend by my side, a great job lined up and the love of my life waiting for me.
Declan. In some ways, he was my warm, comfy sweater too. Especially on those nights when I needed to talk, vent, cry or grieve. But Declan was so much more. He was scratchy burlap when we challenged one another, a down comforter ready to wrap me up safely when I fell, and silky satin when he made love to me.
Declan made me feel it all.
I stood there for a moment taking it all in, my fingers gently rubbing along the words Declan had inscribed on my locket.
I knew what I wanted.
I wanted forever with him.
Declan
This was how it was meant to be. Being with Anna was my happiness. Did we ever argue? Yes we did, and her hot temper was something to behold. But we were even, we were equals. We loved each other, relied upon one another, but I knew that she could manage just fine without me and vice versa.
Maybe that would be considered a cold thought to others, but to me it wasn’t. It was a relief to be with someone whose happiness wasn’t entirely, one hundred percent reliant upon me. Anna had friends, a family she loved, and the makings of a fulfilling career. She was a whole person, with or without me. And the fact that she didn’t need me? Well, it drove me to make sure that she would, at least, always want me.
I was thinking this as I made my way up I-95, on my way to Boston. I was driving my new Jeep, the only other big purchase I’d made aside from my apartment. Since I was living in the Big Apple, the apartment was a big purchase. Sometimes I stood in place, imagining the space that my two feet took up to be a square foot. I marveled at how much that tiny piece of real estate actually cost in Manhattan. I didn’t really sweat it, though. Splitting my time between hotels when I was on the road and a rental in New York for most of the past year, felt odd and cold; I wanted a place that was my own. And the contract I’d signed with the Rangers made the cost of my apartment seem like it was nothing out of the ordinary, modest even. The cost of Anna’s interior design and decorating? That was a bit much to swallow but I let her go, gave her free reign, and the result was a place that was masculine but warm and comforting. It was a place I liked walking into at night, especially when she was here visiting.
She came down a lot this past winter, catching as many of my rookie season games as she possibly could. I’m not going to lie, playing in the pros was no joke; it wasn’t as easy to duck checks in this league and I’d had my ass handed to me several times this year. Even though I’d scored enough goals to make the organization pleased with their choice to sign me, looking up into the stands and seeing Anna there gave me the boost that I needed during some of those more trying games.
Anna was comfortable in this big city. New York was where she wanted to be, so she was dancing like a wild woman, hooting and hollering backstage when the Rangers called my name last summer at the NHL draft. Having spent the past three summers interning and then working for Kate and Luke Donovan, she knew the city like the back of her hand. I wasn’t completely sold on it yet, being a New England boy through and through, but the city had grown on me.
Anna loved watching plays, going to museums, seeing concerts and checking out new, exotic restaurants. There was always something pretty exciting to do here but I didn’t really need all that. My best nights, I told her, were the nights after my games when we came back to my place, ordered in and sat in front of the fireplace together, talking.
I loved her more than anything.
Tomorrow they were all graduating. It was bittersweet for me. I wasn’t that far off from graduating myself, but I wouldn’t be crossing the stage, dressed in cap and gown, like all of my good friends would be.
After Anna and I had finally become a couple—gotten our timing right as she would say—she helped me set up a plan for myself along with the Dean of Academics. Every off-season during the summers, I still had to train but I squeezed in as many classes as I could. I did it just as a precaution, in case I made the decision to leave school and go pro early. At the rate I was now going, after this summer I’d only need about nine more credits to earn my degree.
I wrestled with the decision after sophomore year, as the recruiters had been more persistent, but I decided again to stay in school. My junior year I broke the all-time scoring record for the school and we won the NCAA championship. I was ready. After talking it over with Anna and with Coach, I was satisfied and confident in my decision to leave.
The time apart from Anna was hard. We were kind of used to it from the summers, when I was in Boston and she was in New York, but when I left school permanently, it felt empty, moving on without her by my side. The traveling that first season sucked, and having to make do with phone calls and online chats as I sat in one hotel room after another was a poor substitute for sleeping with her body curled up and tucked into mine. She supported me all the way, though, and Anna making the effort to come and see me, sometimes dragging a half-dozen of our friends along with her, just made me love her even more.
I stopped by the guys’ place first. Frank, Brandon, Colin, Simon, Jimmy and Terrence had stuck together, rooming in the Village, the housing where most of the seniors lived. There were beer cans literally covering every surface in their place.
As I started clearing the counters, swiping my arm and letting the cans fall into the garbage can I was holding, Colin came down the stairs in his boxers, yawning and scratching his balls. “Guess you had a party here last night?” I asked.
“Senior Week is kicking my ass,” he said as he looked around, surveying the damage. “I can’t believe I have to be ready to go out again in three or four hours. Leave that crap, Declan. Have you been by the girls’ place yet?”
“No. I figured they’d be dolling themselves up and all that.”
“You’re probably right.” His eyes widened then. “I almost forgot, Declan. Lauren’s going to kill you when she sees you.” He was smiling as he said, “You know that necklace you had her swipe? Apparently, Anna’s been like weepy and freaking out since she realized it’s missing and she’s made the girls turn their place inside out like five times looking for it.”
“Oh, shit. I feel bad now.” I did feel bad. I remembered when she finally opened my Christmas gift to her. It wasn’t until we’d gone back to Connecticut together that first March, a few weeks after we’d officially gotten together. I was flattered that she’d asked me to come with her, to meet her aunt and uncle properly and to be with her when she visited Will’s grave. It meant more to me than she could ever know.
Later that afternoon, after inhaling the best cheeseburger and onion rings ever, we hung out in her room. She pulled out the small box from her desk drawer. “I want to open it now, Declan.”
I nodded, smiling, but I was nervous all of a sudden. She took her time undoing the ribbon and loosening the tape on the wrapping. When she opened the box, she smiled as she held the locket in her hand, running her fingers over the surface before popping the latch. Inside was a picture of us from that first summer. We looked so much younger; goofy grins, our arms slung around each other’s shoulders, our heads tilted towards one another.
She took in a deep, ragged breath and covered her mouth. “Decla
n, I don’t know what to say.” She looked up at me. “I love it. I love you.”
I rarely saw her not wearing the locket so I decided to head over there early and give her the gift that I’d intended on giving her tomorrow.
“Is everybody decent?” I called out as I let myself into their place with my hand over my eyes. Lauren, Colleen, Avery, Danielle and Fiona were all sprawled across the couches. After the hellos I asked, “Aren’t you girls supposed to be out getting manicures or getting your hair done or something? I thought the day of a dance was like an all-day primp fest.”
“Not,” Fiona said. “You are looking at a bunch of girls who need an hour, tops, to look fabulous. Besides, you’re girlfriend hasn’t even woken up yet.”
“Really?” I asked, big grin spreading across my face as I made my way towards the stairs, taking them two at a time.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I chirped as I whipped off her covers and laid myself right on top of her.
“Jeez. Do you actually get wood that fast or were you like that before you got here?”
“Just the girls downstairs telling me you were still in bed gets me standing at attention.”
“Whatever,” she said lazily as she kissed me. “I like it.”
After she threw me off of her to go brush her teeth, we spent the next hour together in bed, getting reacquainted after not having seen each other for an entire ten days.
As we were about to get up, Anna pulled me back down to her but couldn’t meet my eyes. “Declan, I have something crappy to tell you.” The look on her face was so dire I was suddenly praying this was about the locket.
