by Amanda Ashby
“That’s why I’m here.” Keith dropped into the chair opposite her and put his feet on the leather ottoman. “You see, I was thinking it would be a great—nay, fantastic—idea to do an interview about how you and Matt are doing since that first meeting.”
“I’m still not sure I follow?” Kate leaned forward, still completely confused. “How could that be of interest to anyone?”
“Of course it’s of interest. My listeners went crazy over Matt, and while they were a little angry to hear that he is off the market now, they still want to hear about the woman who stopped the clock. Maybe even get a few tips.”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“You know, the Stop the Clock competition that I was running, on account of Matt’s biological clock.” Keith vaguely waved his hand in the air and Kate went completely still.
What had he just said?
It sounded remarkably like biological clock.
That couldn’t be right. Keith must’ve made a mistake. Perhaps he’d meant to say biological lock? That would make sense, she thought feverishly. After all, she had seen a padlock sitting on Matt’s kitchen bench last week. That had to be it.
Her relief lasted for about thirty seconds before she realized she was kidding herself. Keith had known Matt all of his life. He obviously knew what he was talking about. Kate supposed she must’ve nodded her head weakly, because Keith continued to ramble on about the struggle it was to always be finding fresh and original material and how hard it was to beat those cowboys at Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio in the ratings game.
“But the people obviously want to hear about love, babies and marriages. We’ll give them what they really want. So, what do you say about the interview? Is it a yes?”
“Um, I’ll have to get back to you on that,” Kate stammered as a loud buzzing sound hammered in her ears while her palms tingled. “But you know what? I just remembered that I have an appointment that I need to get ready for. B-but I’ll definitely think about what you said.”
“You will?” Keith grinned as he jumped to his feet like a schoolboy. “Well, that’s great. Okay, I’d better go and let you do whatever it is you ladies like to do. And thanks, Kate.”
“Sure,” Kate managed to say, but it wasn’t until she closed the door after him that her entire body started to shake. Their conversation yesterday when he’d said that there were no problems, only solutions waiting to be found. He hadn’t been talking about compromising his own beliefs, he’d been talking about changing hers.
And finally she saw the truth for what it was.
He wanted a baby. No ifs, buts or maybes about it.
After Harry she’d sworn to never get involved in another relationship again. And yet here she was. Personally, she blamed Matt’s lips. And his eyes. And the way he made her try and succeed in ways that she’d never dreamed were possible.
She rubbed her brow and cursed how naive she was. Why hadn’t she just ignored Jenny’s advice and had the conversation on that very first date? Then none of this would be happening. She would’ve said no to his offer of help, to his warm bed and to his smile that made her feel complete.
And even if he had said he’d support her decision not to have a baby, she knew what that story looked like. After all, she’d already been through it with Harry.
Not that they’d talked about babies on their first date. Well, going to watch Harry give an evening lecture about surrealism in the modern marketplace was hardly a date. But all the same, it had marked the day their relationship had developed. And although they didn’t speak about it straight away, Kate had felt confident it wouldn’t be an issue with the thirty-six-year-old Harry.
And she’d been right. She could still recall the flush of relief she’d experienced after admitting to him she didn’t want children. He hadn’t even asked for an explanation. All he’d done was hold her tight and tell her he respected her decision. Kate had felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward him. Not just for loving her the way she was, but because she’d never have to talk about it again.
Of course, that was before Harry had gone and had an affair with the bimbo from the copy shop and two months later announced that the bimbo was pregnant and that he was going to marry her. The fact that he was already married to Kate and had supposedly not wanted children seemed to have completely passed him by. By the time he left, she’d known she didn’t love him anymore, so it wasn’t the abandonment that hurt her, it was the fact that he’d changed his mind.
Or worse, that he didn’t know his mind.
Which left Kate right back where she started from. And if Harry, who didn’t even like kids, had said he respected her decision and then changed his mind, what would someone like Matt say? Matt, who would do anything for his little niece and nephew and his sister? Who came from a big family who liked to spend time with one another? Who obviously had a biological clock that couldn’t be stopped?
She let out a sob as she got to her feet and began to randomly throw her clothes back into her suitcase. Suddenly she had to get out of there.
Chapter Thirteen
Matt smiled as he stepped into the foyer of the boutique inn. It was a combination of sixties styling with whimsical modern art, and it was just the kind of thing that Kate loved. The idea that she would be enjoying her stay pleased him immensely. And all it had taken was a little bit of lateral thinking and planning. He quickened his pace and had almost reached the reception desk when he heard a familiar laugh coming from the cocktail bar to the left.
Keith?
He frowned as he looked over and saw his lovable but reprobate best friend with his arm around a busty blonde. Keith’s black spikes were more pronounced than ever and the goofy smile on his face let Matt know that he’d already had quite a few drinks.
“Matt, buddy!” Keith raised his glass in the air. “This is . . . Actually, I don’t know your name. What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Lola,” the blonde giggled, and Keith leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.
“Lola. This is Lola.” Then Keith paused and frowned. “By the way, what are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”
“Having a drink.” Keith blinked, as if the answer was obvious.
“Yes, but why are you at the Talbot?” Matt gritted his teeth. He’d spoken to Keith yesterday to arrange the accommodation, but there had been no mention that his friend would be there. Then Matt swore under his breath as he recalled Keith’s ongoing pleas for an interview. “Please tell me that you didn’t try and see Kate.”
“As a matter of fact I did,” Keith admitted with a lopsided smile. “And for your information she said she’d think about it. So take that, Mr. Stop the Clock.”
“Stop the Clock?” Lola looked up with interest. “This is the guy from the competition?”
“There is no competition. Well, not anymore. And, Keith, we’ve already talked about this. What part of no interview didn’t you understand?”
“You were serious about that? I thought it was code. Hey, perhaps we should set up a code so that in the future there won’t be any misunderstandings.”
“There will be no code. Not now, not ever. Do you understand?” Matt clenched his fingers and tried not to think of how Kate felt after being hounded by Keith. Especially since they’d never really talked about the competition, mainly because he hadn’t wanted her to think he was crazy and then because it had no longer been relevant.
Or so he’d thought.
“Sure, no code.”
“Good.” Matt rubbed his forehead before looking at Keith’s unfocused eyes. “And you’ve had enough to drink. I’m sending you home in a taxi.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you have to get up at two in the morning, which means you need to get some sleep. Unless of course you want me to call Miranda.”
/> “Fine,” Keith muttered at the mention of his producer’s name before he got to his feet and kissed Lola’s hand. “Farewell, sweet maiden. I must now depart.”
“Oh.” Lola pouted before eyeing up a group of businessmen who had just wandered in. “Well, see you around.”
It didn’t take Matt long to hustle his friend safely into a taxi before he finally reached the reception counter.
“Hi. I’m here to see Kate Mitchell. She’s staying in room forty-two.”
The woman at the counter smiled and tapped away at the computer before frowning. “I’m sorry, sir, but Miss Mitchell checked out an hour ago.”
“What? Wait. She’s gone? But she was supposed to be staying for two nights.”
“Sorry.” The woman looked at the flowers in his hand and then offered him a sympathetic smile. “I wish I could help.”
“It’s okay,” Matt assured her as his mind filled with possible scenarios of what had happened. And all of them ended with his drunken friend saying something inappropriate to Kate and her taking off. Now all he had to do was find her.
***
He wanted a baby.
Kate tightened her jacket as she sat on the wooden bench, looking at the series of steel sculptures in the park around her. The towering prisms stood out against the stark skyline, and despite the graffiti and trash that surrounded them, they’d always made Kate feel better. Until now.
It didn’t help that she’d brought Matt here after one of their dates, hoping that he could see the same magic that she could. She hadn’t been disappointed, but now as she looked at the angular monuments, all she could think of was Matt’s face and his glittering eyes.
She shivered as the Seattle sun dipped lower in the sky. It would be dark soon and then where would she go? After she’d checked out of the Talbot her first instinct had been to go back to her studio. To submerge herself in her oils and canvases until the pain lessened. But as soon as she’d jumped into her old van, she’d remembered that her studio was off-limits for two reasons. One because the ceiling was still being repaired and two because it was right next door to Matt.
Yet another thing she hadn’t considered when she’d rashly let herself fall for Matt’s ample charms. Which brought her back around to the problem.
She clamped down on her lower lip and tried to push away the vision of Matt surrounded by Lucille and her friends. Of the photos of him and his small niece and nephew. Of how quick he was to go toy shopping with her. How could she have ignored it all? And then, before she could help it, another vision came unwanted into her mind. That of her baby brother, Andy. It wasn’t something she liked to think about and over the years she’d managed to keep her feelings wrapped up in a tightly sealed box. But now it seemed that Keith’s Stop the Clock was the very key her box had been waiting for.
Her breathing faltered as she suddenly found herself back in her mother’s kitchen. She’d been only twelve, but she could still see it clearly. The chipped Formica, the broken light switch. Julia’s sewing machine in the corner and Andy’s highchair pushed up against the peeling wallpaper. Andy. Her beautiful little baby brother. Six months old with cheeks like peaches and the contagious giggle that made the whole world smile. If she thought hard enough she could still capture the smell of him.
Andy and Julia’s new husband, Errol Johnston, had been a revelation to Kate. Up until then it had just been the two of them together, living their strange, separate lives. But then Errol had swept in and everything changed. Suddenly they did things like a family. Going to the circus. Eating ice cream at the beach. Laughing. And just when Kate thought it couldn’t get any better, her mother had given her the news.
“A baby, Katie.” Julia had giggled. “A darling little baby for us all.”
Kate had nodded her wise head and said she thought it was the best thing in the world. And it had been. Errol loved Julia and made her laugh and he always had time for Kate as well. It had been perfect. Until that moment in the kitchen.
Julia and Errol had gone out the night before to celebrate their second-year anniversary and Kate had stayed home with the baby. People had said she was too young to babysit. But since she knew how to change diapers better than Julia, it had seemed like a silly thing to say. During the night, she’d checked on Andy before she went to bed and then got up to feed him when she heard his little wail coming from the nursery. Even his cry sounded happy. That must’ve been about three o’clock. The last time anyone saw him alive.
The next morning she remembered Julia coming out in her dressing gown and doing a childish pirouette around the kitchen before heading into the nursery to get the baby. Julia never danced again.
According to the doctor, Andy died of crib death. It was called sudden infant death syndrome now, but Kate didn’t really care about the name change. It all meant the same thing, really. Her brother was dead and she was responsible for it.
“I should’ve looked after him better,” she’d sobbed into Errol’s shoulder when he tried to convince her it wasn’t her fault. But when he left them both a few weeks later, she knew he’d been lying. After Errol left so did the last glimpse of their family, and not long afterward Julia had her breakdown and Kate was sent to live with her grandmother.
When Julia came to collect her a year later, neither of them spoke about Andy.
There really wasn’t anything to say. He was dead. That was it.
Suddenly Kate jumped to her feet, determined to push the unwanted memories from her mind. All her instincts told her to run. To just cut Matt from her life and never look back.
If she was going to be alone, she had to start now. Only problem was that not only did Matt live next door to her, he also had her cat and she had a bad feeling that unless she told him what was going on, things would end up getting even more complicated.
Which meant that she was going to have to do things the sensible, grown-up way. She gulped as she reached for her cell phone and hit his number. Matt answered on the first ring.
“Kate, where are you? What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Not really. Can I come over to your place? There’s something we need to talk about.”
***
Right, Kate tried to counsel herself as she climbed out of her old van and walked past her own gallery to where Matt was standing in his doorway as Socrates wove in and out of his legs. You can do this. Just don’t look directly at him. And on no account let him touch you. She repeated this little mantra once more, ran a hand through her curls and forced herself to smile.
Oh, she added as an afterthought. Definitely don’t look at his body either. Unfortunately it was too late and her eyes had already devoured his long legs, which were covered in a pair of dark denim jeans while a white shirt was hiding his muscular torso.
“Hey,” he said, his dark eyes full of confusion. “Where have you been? I was worried.”
“I know. Sorry, I should’ve called sooner,” she said as she reached down to scoop up Socrates. The ginger cat let out a reluctant sigh as she held him tight to her chest.
“Right.” Matt studied her face for a moment before seeming to collect himself. “So, would you like to come upstairs?”
“A-actually, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Kate quickly said, not trusting herself if she walked into his apartment and surrounded herself with Matt-scented objects. Instead she took a deep breath and steadied herself. “I guess you want some answers.”
“I suppose. Though honestly, I’m not even sure what the questions should be.” A small frown burrowed between his eyes. “What happened? One minute we had dinner plans and the next minute you disappeared. Did I miss something?”
Unfortunately, he wasn’t the one who’d missed something—she was. She’d missed all the signs that she’d been heading for disaster.
“I don’t know where to begin.” She tightened her grip on Soc
rates.
“How about when you checked out of the Talbot? Was it something that Keith said? He swears it wasn’t, but he’s also drunk, so if he did offend you, then I’m sorry. And so is he.”
“It’s not that.” She opened her mouth. She had to tell him quick. Before she lost her courage. But why? Look how lovely he’s been. Not to mention how great he looks in those jeans. The man is gorgeous, he obviously adores you and he wants to run around and look after your every need. Can’t you just enjoy it for a little while longer?
No. She didn’t doubt he’d be a lot more compassionate and caring in the way he would handle the news, but at the end of the day, he wouldn’t be any different from Harry. She took a deep breath. She could do this. She had to do this.
“So what is it, then?” he said, looking genuinely perplexed. He was leaning so close to her she could almost feel his breath on her cheek as he looked anxiously at her. It took all of her willpower not to reach up and touch his mouth. To try and wipe away some of the worry.
“It’s the Stop the Clock competition,” she said as her chest rose and fell from the effort. “I—I didn’t know about it. When you showed up that day I just thought that Keith had been trying to find you a date. I had no idea that he was trying to find you a mother for your child.”
“I promise you it’s not as weird as it sounds.” Matt closed his eyes for a minute before finally looking at her. “The whole stupid announcement was completely blown out of proportion. It was ridiculous.”
“Really?” Kate clutched onto his words like Socrates with a piece of fresh chicken. “So what are you saying? That you don’t really want children?”
“What?” Matt blinked before finally seeming to understand what she was saying. “Oh, no, of course I still want children. It’s just kind of embarrassing to be thought of as the only man in the world with a biological clock. Not to mention being set up by a radio station.”
“Oh.” Kate felt her hope plummet back down to her toes, and Matt looked at her in concern.
