by Kat T. Masen
Bitch. One fucking time, seriously. She made it sound like I was at home scratching my balls all day watching MTV. “Ms. Preston, I assure you that our dedication to this project is above and beyond what you expect. I apologize for my absence due to an emergency situation that needed to be taken care of here in New York.”
“Look, Mr. Edwards. My team will only sign this proposal if you can commit to your side of the contract. We also now request that the majority of the work be done in London.”
Fuck! I knew what that meant. It meant long fucking hours at their main headquarters. How was I ever going to see Charlotte if I was in London? Maybe she didn’t actually give a fuck about me. Maybe she just needed a retribution fuck. Maybe she was me two weeks ago. The Lex Edwards who would sweet talk ladies when he needed a quick fuck, the type that would disappear in the middle of the night without even a quick goodbye or “thanks, I had a lovely time sticking my dick in your pussy.” But then I thought of the times she let her guard down, when she asked me to look her in the eyes, how emerald green was still her favorite color and when she said there’d be a next time… There was hope that she still felt something.
“This is a one-year contract, Mr. Edwards. Do we have your commitment that this will be carried out in that specified time?”
A ten million fucking dollar business deal and I questioned it because I didn’t want to leave New York. I know, I know, I’m pussy whipped. She handed me the papers with a pen, eyeing me, waiting for a reaction. I hesitated, looking at Kate who watched me puzzled by my delayed reaction. I grabbed the pen and began signing the documents. I felt like the weight of the world now rested on my shoulders. I knew what I was in for, I just had to find a way to make it work.
Kate announced that she would make copies and return in ten minutes. Leaving me alone with Victoria, I dreaded where this conversation would lead.
“It will be nice to have you back in London,” she said more playfully. “We should have dinner when you are back to discuss any other ideas you might have.”
“Look, Victoria, this is strictly business. You know I don’t mix business with pleasure.”
“Oh please, Lex, like you haven’t fucked your little assistant. Kat, Kathy, whatever her name is,” she sneered.
“Her name is Kate and no, she is a valuable employee. I meant what I said. Do not play games with me.”
Kate returned with the copied documents. We wrapped up the meeting with Victoria advising she would email me a confirmation of when the project would begin.
Walking up to my suite, I felt drained. The last twenty-four hours had been heaven and hell in equal measure. I wanted Charlotte so fucking much yet I couldn’t overcome the rage I felt over the whole Samantha thing.
“Mr. Edwards, you look exhausted. Let me take care of things for the rest of the day. I suggest you have a good sleep,” Kate offered.
She had a point. Even though it was close to lunchtime, I would have no problem getting some sleep. I was never this worn out but right now I was no nearer to answers to the questions that were remaining. I had to re-focus with a plan of attack. Jesus Christ, I was treating this whole Charlotte thing like a goddamn business proposal. Maybe I needed to tackle it that way. The only thing I was sure about was that she was mine, and no one was going to take her away from me. Not now, not ever. Still, I couldn’t shake my hostility toward her for forgiving Samantha. Why did she do it?
What about me? I thought. Why won’t she forgive me?
Chapter 19
Charlie
The rain didn’t deter me from my usual morning run. Instead it cooled me down, allowing me to run even harder. I stopped off at my usual bench trying to catch my breath. The last forty-eight hours had been draining to say the least. Apart from a heavy workload that I was struggling with due to my unstable personal life, I had Lex to deal with.
“Hi again!” The familiar blonde girl stopped by the bench.
“Hi. I haven’t seen you for a few days. Did you leave New York?” I asked politely.
“Yes, briefly, but here I am again.” She laughed, then reached out her hand to introduce herself. “I’m Kate, by the way.”
I shook her hand. “I’m Charlie.”
She chuckled slightly. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m laughing. I am so stressed out with work right now I think I’m losing my marbles.”
“I know how you feel. I’m in the same boat. I have so much going on and it doesn’t help that my love life is a like a rollercoaster right now,” I admitted.
“Man troubles?”
“Man troubles plural,” I confessed.
“Oh, wow. I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes. I’m glad I got myself a good man, just happens he’s on the other side of the world. So I’m thinking you pick who you like best and roll with it. Maybe start with who is most attractive?”
We giggled together. There was something comforting about confiding in a stranger.
“Well, man number one is gorgeous—like Christian Bale gorgeous.”
“Oh holy Batman! And number two?”
“There are no words… He is beautiful.”
“Sounds to me like number two is a lady door knocker.”
I burst out laughing. Lady door knocker! That just about summed him up. As I wiped away a tiny tear from my eye, I composed myself enough to respond to Kate. “I guess you could say that but it’s so complicated.”
“I’m no love expert but I swear there must be a full moon or something because weird shit is happening everywhere.”
“That would explain a lot.”
“Take my boss, for example. He is the most arrogant bastard you could ever meet. I mean the amount of times I’ve had to clean up his mess is, well...it’s a lot. After every girl he fucked and left hanging, who was the one dealing with all the clingy-girl bullshit? Me. Seriously, I deserve a pay rise because that is not in my job description.”
I laughed at the description of her boss.
“So anyway, something weird is going on. I only know that a girl has come into his life and I think he has feelings for her. I nearly fell off my chair when I found out. I’m telling you, the man has no heart. But fuck, something has changed,” she finished.
“Sometimes that one person can change everything you believe in. Maybe she captured his heart. Is he at least nice to look at?” I asked.
“He is a fucking drop-dead BILF.”
“Uh, what’s a BILF?”
“Boss I’d like to fuck, although I never would. I love my job and get great perks. I’ve just learnt to tolerate him and always be one step ahead of him.”
“Banging body?” I asked.
“Oh, hell yeah. He works out so much he looks like a Greek god. I’ve never seen him shirtless, though.”
“Sounds to me like you got yourself a great job.”
“Yes, I do, but right now I need to focus.” She looked at her watch. “Oh shit, it’s seven. I better head back. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I smiled. “I’ll be here.”
“Cheerio then!”
I ran back home thinking about how the last few days had unfolded. I knew I was taking a risk by asking Adriana to get involved with planning to be in Lex’s office but I wanted him to know it wasn’t just him who got to call the shots. I looked back now and couldn’t believe I allowed myself to be so bold and carefree. Yeah, I’d fantasized about that shit all the time but to make it a reality was surreal. He was barely able to control himself and that’s what I wanted, Mr. Control Freak to lose himself.
Every touch, every sound was sending me over the edge but then he said he wanted all of me. I knew what he meant and not one part of me hesitated. As he filled me, I groaned with pleasure. He was the only one who had ever been inside there. The pressure was intense and it didn’t take me long to come. He followed quickly, gripping me tight as the waves of pleasure died down slowly. It felt amazing but then he kissed me, softly. I pulled away; I wasn’t prepared for emotions to be involved. This was
strictly hardcore, nothing-off-the-table kind of sex. Just fucking. I reminded him of that and he was quick to acknowledge it, which hurt slightly but I had to convince myself that’s all this was. Who was I kidding?
As I sat in my office daydreaming about the night before, Eric and Bull’s walked in and sat down. Eric grabbed a handful of M&Ms and Bull’s scolded him for putting the brown ones back in. the jar. What the hell was his problem with eating the brown ones?
“So the lady who walked into my office yesterday was Samantha Benson.”
“Wasn’t she that chick at the club that Lex was trying offload?” Eric asked.
“Yes, she was.”
“How do you know her?” asked Bull’s.
I knew this was coming. I was dreading answering it but I knew it would come out sooner or later so it might as well be now. “She was Lex’s wife.”
“So they got married after you guys split up? When did she remarry and have the kid?” He looked at me, confused.
“Eric, I don’t think they got married after Charlie and Lex split up. Am I correct in assuming you were together while he was married?” Bull’s questioned.
“Something like that.” I lowered my tone, feeling ashamed at the situation. I knew it had been more than me just being a homewrecker, but how could I explain that to them?
“Oh… OH!” Eric clasped his hand on his mouth.
“Guys, look, it wasn’t like that. We were in love, like earth-shattering love. At least I thought it was.”
Bull’s placed her hand on mine. She knew me well enough to know that it had meant something. After all, she was the one who would hold me tight when I screamed Lex’s name in my sleep.
“Charlie, what happened? And what’s going on between you two now?” Eric asked.
“He left, didn’t say goodbye. I found out from the town slut that Samantha was pregnant.”
“Hold up, the kid is his?” Bull’s asked.
“No. She was screwing around as well. She told him it was his. His family put pressure on him to stay with her after Samantha told them about me. Apparently months later she confessed to him that the baby wasn’t his and he left her. He told me he looked for me but not in the right place and my mother told him I had moved on.”
“But you hadn’t, Charlie. I was there,” Bull’s said.
“No, I hadn’t. He believed what she said and decided that I deserved more.”
“I’m sorry, Charlie. I knew he meant a lot to you. I mean, you didn’t start to date till the end of college. No matter how much Rocky and I tried to set you up.”
“Oh gee, Bull’s, the blind dates Rocky would set me up with were so hideous!”
We laughed for a while until Eric broke us from our trip down memory lane. “So what did she want to see you about?”
“She wanted to tell me how sorry she was, and asked for forgiveness. We all make mistakes, Eric. Sometimes we need to forgive in order to move on.”
“And Lex?” he asked reluctantly.
I sighed. These two people were my best friends and yet I always held this part of me close to my heart, tightly closed up in a sealed box. Was now the time to spill my heart and soul and reveal all the scars?
“Lex is… It’s complicated.”
“It can’t be that complicated, Charlie. I mean you’re fucking him all over Manhattan,” Bull’s pointed out.
“I’m not fucking him all over Manhattan!”
“Woman has a point, Charlie. You’ve had a certain glow all week. You know, that I’ve-been-done-in-every-orifice look.”
Bull’s and Eric laughed. I felt my face turn crimson. Damn these two and their keen observations. I was starting to think that Eric had a radar for anyone who was doing it back-door-Betty style. How else would he know that?
“We’ll take your silence as a yes. Bull’s, you notice how she’s been walking funny as well, almost with a limp?” Eric joked.
I threw a pen at Eric. We laughed together. OK, so they knew, only that part at least. The rest would remain my secret for now.
…
“Hey, Charlie.” Eric peaked his head through my door. “There’s someone here to see you.”
Who now, I wondered. As I stood up, Julian walked into the room. Oh, fuck. I hadn’t seen him since movie-night and since then I had fucked Lex more times than I cared to count.
“Hey, Gorgeous. I was starting to think you had disappeared.” He walked over to me and grabbed my waist. Pulling me into his arms, he placed his lips on mine. I kissed him back, an uneasy feeling washing over me. Something felt off.
“Sorry, Julian. Work has literally kicked my butt all week.”
“I see. I know there’s something I would like to do to that butt,” he teased as he placed his hands on my butt, caressing it slowly.
I pulled his hands off. “Mr. Baker, this is a professional environment. Plus, Eric is known for barging in,” I lied and almost instantly questioned what made me do it.
“Fine, but later you’re mine.” He winked. “I brought something for you.”
He placed a white shirtbox with a red bow in front of me. I looked up at him, curious as to what was inside. He motioned for me to open it and I did, stunned by what was inside.
“We haven’t spoken about the actual wedding plans,” he said, his eyes watching my reaction. I smiled, because I was afraid that with one look and he would know what I had done. I pulled the bridal magazines out of the box. My stomach felt queasy, the reality hitting me hard as I watched my hands shake slightly as I held the magazines.
“So much to organize…” I trailed off.
“We can always hire a wedding coordinator, however that would be a disappointment to my mother.”
“Your mother?” I asked nervously.
“Yes, she is dying to meet you. She’ll be traveling through New York in three weeks on her way to some sort of book convention.”
“As in, erotic romances?” I was trying my best to push away how awkward this conversation was. I had never met his mother. This was a big fucking deal.
“Thanks for the visual.” He laughed. “So a little birdie reminded me it’s your birthday on Saturday.”
“Little birdie has a big mouth. Yes, it is.”
“Any plans?” he asked curiously.
“Big-mouth birdie said he is taking me out to dinner. You’re welcome to join us,” I offered.
“I’m sorry, I have an important function to attend however I’ll join you after dinner, plus I’m free for breakfast on Sunday morning. Preferably in bed.”
“Oh, Batman, you sure know how to use those cheesy lines.”
“Hey, Batman resents that!” He kissed me goodbye, promising me he would call me tonight when I was done with work.
As he left the room, I breathed a sigh of relief. What the hell was I doing? These were not the actions of a sane person, so far from it. I sat down in my chair opened a magazine, casually flicking through the pages. Not an ounce of excitement stirred in me. Surely my bridezilla gene was supposed to kick in by now? I sat there almost numb—almost. The Valentino gown was literally to die for.
I was reading an article on the do’s and don’ts of wedding planning when a loud sound startled me. The commotion came from my doorway where Lex stood, and an extremely panic-stricken Eric and Emma stood behind him trying to catch their breaths.
“I’m sorry…” Eric said as he struggled to breathe.
“It’s OK, Eric,” I replied as I stood up.
Lex caught sight of what I was doing, forcing Eric and Emma to scurry away like two timid dogs.
“You have no right just barging into my office like this,” I said, trying my best to speak in a flat tone but the anger was all built up, ready to bite his head off and give him an earful about workplace protocol.
“What do you expect? You won't talk me, but you talk to everyone else. In fact you forgave everyone else but not me. Why?” he asked, exasperated.
What the hell was he talking about? “Excuse me?”
“You easily play make-up with Adriana and Samantha but with me, you shut me down every time I try to apologize.”
“Please leave. This is my place of business. I don't bring my personal life to work.”
He stood before me with flared eyes and unruly hair; his body language was enough for me to realize he was deadly serious. His eyes darted to the magazines on my desk.
“Answer me!”
“I have nothing to say to you!”
He stood still, his eyes never leaving mine. I could see the pain he was in but that didn’t erase the pain that seeped into every part of me like poison.
He turned his back and left my office without saying another word.
I couldn’t cry, I was done shedding tears. Instead I sat there numb, unable to cope with the burst of anger that I bestowed upon him. He deserved it. That was nothing compared to what I went through. He hadn’t won. I was still standing there. I was the one wearing the ring. I was going to become Mrs Baker.
Chapter 20
Lex
May 2005
Last night I had a dream, the kind of dream that when you wake up, you close your eyes and try to fall back into that blissful sleep praying that somehow the dream will continue. She was beside me, wearing nothing but a sheet around her naked body. Her head rested on my shoulders as we sat for what felt like hours. My hands were positioned above the piano keys, but they were still. Faintly, I could hear a piano playing in the background. It was beautiful, and as much as I tried to move my hands to mirror the playing, they remained frozen.
I realized when I woke up the next morning that it was my subconscious telling me to play again. Between work and studying, I never had time to sit and play anymore so here I was in my parents’ living room attempting to play the piano again.
As I found the right keys, my fingers moved to the rhythm in my head. I sensed that I was being watched so I stopped, surprised to see Charlotte at the door.
“Please don’t stop, Alex,” she whispered.
