by Haywood, RR
‘When the time comes to stop it, Dr Barrett,’ he said quietly, fixing me with that look again. ‘We must be ready. We cannot let them release such a violent and barbaric disease. We cannot cull the people. We are not gods, Dr Barrett. I will count on you. When the time comes. Yes?’ He nodded and leant in. ‘When the time comes. You will be ready.’
He patted me on the shoulder and walked out without saying another word. Leaving me and my shoulder wondering why every sod kept patting it.
‘Neal!’ Camilla whispered a few moments later, rushing in as my heart missed another beat at being startled. ‘What did Hussein want?’
‘He was babbling on about joining his side, and that I had to be ready.’
‘Ready for what?’
I shrugged. Feeling wretched and increasingly strung out.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘That’s good. That means we’ve got allies. Great work, Neal!’ she grabbed me for a hug and planted a kiss on my lips. ‘I’ll tell Frank.’
‘Who’s Frank?’
‘Did I say Frank? I meant Albert. I had an uncle Frank. Albert reminds me of him. Tell Hussein we’re on his side and not to make a move until we can talk more.’
‘But-.’ I tried to say but she rushed off and I once more sat and pondered the weight of the mountain over my head.
‘BARRETT! Caught you hiding.’
‘Shit!’ I physically flinched from the Scottish voice yelling from the door as Donegal walked in.
‘Hiding away? I don’t blame you. All this fuss going on. Having some tea and toast, are you?’
‘I er.’
‘Mind if I grab a slice? So, what do you make of it all then?’ he asked as he sat down while munching on my now cold toast. ‘I respect your impartiality. I do. I really do. But you’ll get splinters up your arse if you stay on that fence much longer. What did Hussein want with you anyway?’
‘Hussein?’
‘Aye. I saw him coming in. What did he want?’
‘Er. Some… Some toast. He had some toast.’
‘Neal. Come on now. How long have we known each other? And we’re both British. We’re on the same side. What did he want?’
I blinked a few times while feeling like a schoolchild being asked to split on his mates by the headteacher.
‘Aye. You’re a cool one, you are, Neal. Let me say that. I’m guessing he said he thinks it’s real. Is that right? Mind you we all think that. But do you know what, Neal? I think it really is real,’ he added in a theatrical whisper before laughing heartily. ‘Know what I think? I think they’re undecided and that’s why we’re here. To help them choose between A and C. What do you think about that?’
I didn’t tell him what I thought about that. Or that Camilla and Albert had beaten him to that conclusion last night.
‘But,’ Donegal said and fixed me with his piercing blue eyes. ‘What side are you on?’
‘I’m impartial,’ I said, or rather I farted the words out.
‘Ach. No, you’re not. I know you, Neal. And they’re your findings. If they release A then the world ends. I’m thinking they’ll choose C. And when they do, they’ll need scientists. Do you understand, Neal? The people on their side will have a place at the table. Do you think Hussein is getting a dose of the Panacea? Now listen. I think they’ll make a move soon. Whoever is running this show. They’ll make some approaches. And when they do. I know you’ll be ready. Aye? Sound good?’
I swallowed and watched him bite into another piece of toast. ‘I knew I could count on you, Barrett,’ he added before patting me on the shoulder and walking off to leave me really wishing the mountain would come down.
‘Nipper,’ Albert said, walking in a few minutes later. I didn’t bother being startled this time. What’s the point? I was half expecting Mother Theresa to walk in any moment and start punching my shoulders. ‘Having some toast?’ he asked, walking over to snag the last slice.
‘Help yourself,’ I said rather weakly.
‘What did Donegal want?’
I sighed and explained it while watching him eat.
‘Donegal’s angling for a place in the safe zone,’ he said.
‘Safe zone?’ I asked.
‘Yeah. Safe zone. Or whatever they call them. The places where they’ll hide when the zombies start munching everyone. Anyway. Camilla told me about Hussein. That’s good. Find out if he’s had any weapons training.’
‘What?’
‘It’ll be fine,’ he said at my look of panic. ‘But find out. Some of his chums might have done national service. A lot of countries still have that you know. Never should have got rid of it if you ask me. But don’t tell him who we are. And act naturally. Stay passive. Nice toast though.’
My shoulder got another groping and he too went off, leaving me with one empty plate and one mug of cold tea.
‘Ah, Dr Barrett,’ Alexander said a moment or two later when he walked in. But why wouldn’t he? I just wish I’d had some toast for him to steal. Or a white cat to stroke. ‘And how are you today?’
‘Oh, you know. Busy as ever.’
‘Of course. Of course. But I couldn’t help but notice, not that you are under surveillance, but I did see Professor Hussein and Professor Donegal coming in.’
‘Right. Yes. Yes, they did.’
‘And I am assuming they are both trying to get on you on side?’
I nodded. Not trusting myself to speak.
‘Of course, they are. And tell me, Dr Barrett? I have also noticed one of the reception staff is frequently seen with you. Camilla.’
Oh god. That was it. Cue gibbering wreck.
‘She’s very attractive, Dr Barrett.’
‘Is she? I er, can’t say as I noticed.’
‘Oh, come now. You know my secrets. I should know yours,’ he said as he sat down in the same blasted chair and stared at me in the same blasted way. ‘So?’ he prompted with a smile. ‘Tell me your secrets.’
‘We didn’t have sex!’ I blurted at which point he roared with laughter and clapped his thighs.
‘You rogue you,’ he said, shaking his head at me. ‘We have rules here, Dr Barrett. I shall have to lock you up now.’
‘But-.’
‘I’m joking! Relax. It’s fine. She’s an attractive woman, and you’re in my inner circle now. Fuck who you want. We have more women if you’d like one?’ he asked, leaning in closer. ‘We made sure to bring a few extras in, you know, to keep my guards happy. But they’re clean. They all wear condoms. I can guarantee that.’
‘Oh god. What?’
‘Haha! Not that we have to worry about condoms. Not for diseases anyway. Not with what we have,’ he added, tapping his nose and winking and laughing away like we were having jolly japes. ‘Anyway. I should get back to work. But Neal, do tell me if anyone says anything to you. Anything I should know about. You would tell me, wouldn’t you?’
I nodded quickly.
‘Good man!’ he said and patted my damned shoulder as he stood up, at which point I thought of the questions Camilla and Albert tasked me to find out.
‘Have you chosen one?’ I asked, rather too quickly.
‘One what?’ he asked.
‘You know, A or C.’
‘Oh,’ he said, giving me a long appraising look before walking off.
I’ve come back to my room to hide from them all. But I can’t stay here all day. And I’m hungry too. I never did get to eat any of that toast.
Signing off.
NB
November 24th
(2nd entry)
Damn it!
I tried to sneak out to snaffle some food and was instantly caught by Camilla rushing into my room as I tried to leave.
‘We don’t have long,’ she said quickly.
‘For what?’ I enquired, perhaps a little sharply as she fixed me a studied look before melting into my arms for a long kiss.
‘I need you to speak to Hussein and find out what numbers he has,’ she said between kisses.
‘Numbers for what?’ I asked, while also thinking I’ve still got to ask Hussein about guns and national service too.
‘For if we need them,’ she said as she pulled back to look at me again. ‘This is very serious, Neal. The fate of the planet is at stake.’
Good lord. What a line. Honestly. It was like something from a movie. I half expected her to lift one leg and swoon.
‘I know we can trust you,’ she said earnestly and kissed me again while lifting one leg. ‘You make me all giddy,’ she added. ‘You will ask him. Won’t you?’
‘I er.’
‘I know you’ll do the right thing,’ she said and darned it if she didn’t drop to her knees and unzip me right there and then. Of course, I tried to protest. But I haven’t really ever had oral sex before. Not like that anyway, and I must say, there is something about it. ‘Promise me you’ll try,’ she said in between mouthfuls.
‘Yes,’ I stammered. While pulling faces.
‘And tell me if you’re about to ejaculate.’
‘I will. Oh god. Er-.’
‘Neal! I said tell me,’ she said as someone knocked on the door.
‘Dr Barrett?’ an accented voice asked.
‘It’s Hussein,’ she said before rushing off into the bathroom.
‘Dr Barrett,’ Hussein said and pushed his way in as soon I opened the damned door. ‘I must speak with you. Are you okay? You look very red.’
‘I er. I was exercising?’
‘In your room? We have a gym here, Dr Barrett. Never mind. Listen. I saw Donegal and Alexander talking. I think they know something. They’re working together. I’m sure of this.’
‘I say. Did you do any national service?’
‘Sorry. What?’
‘Oh. Just asking. If you, you know, ever fired a gun perhaps?’
He stared at me. I stared back all sweaty and trying to smile. At which point he dropped his eyes with a heavy sigh. ‘Of course, I did my national service.’
‘Great stuff. That’s just great.’
‘You have mayonnaise on your trousers, Dr Barrett.’
‘That’s not mayonnaise.’
‘What?’
‘What?’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said I had a sandwich. Cheese and mayo. And some… Some pickles.’
‘I see. But yes. I am seeking allies now, Dr Barrett. I think it will be soon.’
‘Right. What will? I mean…WHY ARE YOU SEEKING ALLIES?’ I asked loudly, for the benefit of Camilla in the bathroom who could maybe pop out and talk to the blasted chap. But she didn’t, and again he just stared at me.
‘I can count on you. I know I can. Tell me, Dr Barrett. Do you have any friends?’
‘Friends?’
‘Yes.’
‘Er. Well. There’s some guys at my squash club.’
‘Here. Dr Barrett. Do you have friends here? Perhaps secret friends?’
‘DO I HAVE ANY SECRET FRIENDS?’
‘Why are you repeating what I say? Never mind. I think the time will come soon. Stay alert, my friend. We must be ready. I can count on you. Yes? With clean trousers though. That mayonnaise is soaking in.’
‘BARRETT YOU BLOODY BEAN COUNTER,’ Donegal then shouted out while banging on my door, which made both Hussein and I flinch like guilty lovers.
‘He cannot see me here,’ Hussein whispered.
‘No!’ I whispered as he headed for the bathroom.
‘Neal. Will you open the door you daft sod,’ Donegal called.
‘I must hide!’ Hussein whispered.
‘Under the bed,’ I whispered back as I looked to the small bed and back to his girth and height. There wasn’t even a proper wardrobe and damned if he didn’t stride towards the bathroom as the door opened with Camilla offering him a bright smile.
‘Professor Hussein. How nice to see you,’ she said smoothly while he blinked at her then at me.
‘Barrett! Are you masturbating in there,’ Donegal called.
‘Did you need the bathroom, Professor Hussein?’ Camilla asked while I tried to tweak my ears and make faces at her.
‘Yes,’ Hussein said, rushing by.
‘Great. Enjoy,’ she said. ‘I just popped in for a cheese and mayo sandwich.’
‘I know. It’s on your ear,’ Hussein said, closing the bathroom door as the main door swung open.
‘Ah. It’s bloody open anyway,’ Donegal said, looming large as he looked me up and down then over to Camilla.
‘Dr Barrett. Do enjoy your sandwich,’ Camilla said brightly, still offering that smile.
‘Do you do room service?’ Donegal asked with a smile as she squeezed by him. ‘If I’d known that eh, love.’
‘I need to go too!’ I said quickly and loudly as Camilla shot me a look while Donegal frowned. ‘To the restaurant. For some food. To eat.’
‘You just had a sandwich apparently,’ Donegal said with a wink. ‘But ney bother. I’ll come with you.’
‘Coming through, gents,’ another voice then called as Donegal stepped inside to let Albert walk by. ‘Dr Barrett? Everything okay with that heater now is it, sir?’
‘It’s fine,’ I said as the toilet flushed and a second later the bathroom door opened.
‘Hussein?’ Donegal said.
‘Thank you for letting me use your toilet, Neal,’ Hussein said, giving Donegal the evil eye.
‘Aye. And what’s wrong with your toilet then?’ Donegal asked while I started to panic.
‘It’s blocked,’ Albert said with a tut and a roll of his eyes. ‘Bad plumbing. We’re underground. There’s no gravity,’ he added as two internationally esteemed scientists and I looked at him. ‘Anyway gents. Piss off and let me do some work. Camilla. You’ve got mayo on your ear.’
‘It’s semen,’ I said as they all looked at me. Carmen just sighed and walked off.
I walked to the restaurant with Donegal because what choice did I have? Hussein followed us. Glowering from behind while Donegal spoke loudly about the many benefits of culling the population before releasing the cure. It was like he was already a part of the hierarchy. I even felt an urge to warn him, in case Alexander should hear and start to think he is causing more harm than good.
‘Aye, Neal. Just think of how perfect it will be. A world of clean air filled with infrastructure and everything we need, and none of the common trash either. I say that respectfully, but it’s natural selection is what it is.’
‘Natural selection is the order of nature,’ Hussein cut in as we entered the restaurant and the same arguments got underway.
‘Nobody is talking to you, Saddam,’ Donegal muttered, but loudly enough for Hussein to hear.
‘You reduce yourself to racism now, Professor Donegal,’ Hussein shouted. ‘I am not from Iraq. I am Iranian.’
‘Aye, but you bloody look like him with that great moustache. And that’s what I mean about natural selection, Neal. No more despots like Saddam, or whoever they have in Iran. You want equality. This brings instant equality because we’ll all be rich and healthy. How can you not see this, Hussein? Neal even said everyone will die if we don’t cull first.’
‘I never said that,’ I tried to say.
‘Because we are not gods!’ Hussein bellowed, slamming his hand down on the restaurant service counter as everyone looked over.
‘Where are your gods now, Hussein? Where are they? Why didn’t they stop the wars in the Middle East? Childhood cancers. Famine. Poverty. Starvation. Slavery. Where are they, Hussein? You think life is perfect now? It’s not anywhere near perfect. I’ve spent my life specialising in immunology to try and save lives. And this, this saves lives.’
‘You will kill over seven billion people!’
‘Aye. Damn straight I will, but the seventy million left behind won’t ever have to worry. And they won’t have people like Saddam Hussein or wankers in North Korea threatening the world with nukes. Damn it, Hussein. You know this makes sense. With what we have left, with that new focus we’ll have co
lonies on Mars within a decade. We won’t have to worry about anything else! How can you not see this?’
‘Science is pure!’ Hussein yelled with the veins bulging in his forehead. ‘We are scientists. We present our findings to the world. The world chooses. Not us!’
‘Ach, be away with you,’ Donegal said with a flash of real temper. ‘You know what you sound like now, Hussein? Eh? You know what you sound like? Like a fundamentalist. Working for ISIS are you maybe? Ach, don’t all be shushing me. The man is an extremist. You’re a damned terrorist, Hussein’
Well, that did it. Let me tell you that, and the verbal altercation swiftly turned violent as Hussein lunged at Donegal with a loud yell. Donegal seemed ready for it and charged into Hussein. They’re both sturdy chaps too. Big men. But fortunately, neither are fighters so they pretty much slapped at each other’s hands, yelling and pushing while more people from both sides ran in to do the same. It was like watching six-year olds fighting. But with less biting.
The strangest thing, however, which I noticed while hiding behind the counter, was Alexander staring in through the door with a wry smile.
NB
November 24th
This is the third entry for today, but I need to be quick. I got back to my room after the fight in the restaurant and made my diary entry.
Then I stopped to think, and after finally gaining a few moments of peace and quiet. I came to a very chilling conclusion.
My thought process was thus:
I was terrified and growing increasingly anxious. The fight in the canteen was jarring and just bloody awful. I even saw Albert and Camilla loitering nearby, watching it all intently. They both look poised. As though they were ready to react.
I feared we’d reached crisis point, and that the project had to end. There was no point to continuing. There was nothing to be gained. The scientists had split so violently there was no hope of ever working together.
I even heard a few of them telling Alexander they’d had enough. They wanted out they told him, and he could keep the damned money too.
‘I’m afraid the terms and conditions specify the project will remain until otherwise deemed appropriate to end.’
