by Haywood, RR
‘I…I… I don’t know! I covered my mouth.’
‘He wasn’t even close,’ Tappy said. ‘Honestly, he was like five metres away.’
‘Maybe it’s not that,’ Howie said. ‘I mean. He’s a bit fat isn’t he. Maybe it’s a heart-attack or something. Holy shit!’ he cried out as the guy sat up and opened his red bloodshot eyes. ‘Okay. Definitely not a heart-attack.’
‘Shit, Marcy,’ I said. ‘You just made a zombie.’
‘Paula, don’t. I’m so sorry,’ Marcy said trying to beg forgiveness while also clearly feeling that rush from the connection that comes when she takes her own hosts.
‘You don’t look bloody sorry,’ Roy said.
‘I am! It’s the thing,’ Marcy said, flapping her hands. ‘Honestly. I’m so sorry. Oh god.’
‘You just made a zombie,’ I said again, looking from the guy to Marcy.
‘Stop saying that!’
‘But you did.’
‘I sneezed. It wasn’t my fault. No, it was my fault. But I didn’t mean it.’
‘It was an accident,’ Tappy said. ‘Marcy wasn’t even close to him.’
‘Try telling that to him,’ Howie said
‘Okay, sure. Er, sir, it was an accident,’ Tappy told the zombie.
‘What the fuck! I didn’t mean actually tell him’ Howie said.
‘It was just a sneeze,’ Marcy said, wincing as she looked from Howie to Paula and everyone else all staring in stunned silence. ‘But you know. He’s not like, dead or anything.’
‘Marcy!’ I said.
‘Well, he’s not. He’s just, you know. A zombie. But not a bitey zombie. So that’s something, right? I’m not helping am I?’
‘No!’ Howie said, shaking his head.
‘Why didn’t you turn away?’ I asked.
‘I thought I did! It just came out and must have gone in his mouth.’
‘Said Blowers to the judge,’ Cookey quips.
‘Not now, Alex!’
‘Sorry, Paula.’
‘I don’t even know what to think,’ Howie said. ‘Where’s Reggie?’
‘He’s flying the drone,’ Blowers said
‘My drone!’ Nick yelled before running off. ‘REGGIE! DON’T CRASH IT.’
‘It was an accident,’ Carmen said. ‘I was stood right there. She didn’t mean it.’
‘Okay. Listen. I am so so sorry,’ Marcy said. ‘I’ll do brew duty for like a whole week.’
‘What the fuck!’ Howie said.
‘Okay. Whatever. A month then.’
‘Yes!’ Cookey said. ‘Tell her she has to make cakes as well.’
‘Dave, Mo, go and see if anyone else is here,’ I said. ‘Charlie, go with them and make sure they don’t kill anyone. Well. We need a plan now.’
‘How are we going to plan for this?’ Howie asked.
‘I don’t bloody know,’ I said. ‘Get Reggie in here. Danny, go and tell him to come in.’
‘Oh god no,’ Howie said with a sudden groan. ‘Henry’s going to love this. I bet he’s standing right behind me with this shirt all tucked in and looking seriously pissed off.’
Diary of Carmen Eze
Henry was standing right behind Howie, and Henry was looking seriously pissed off. That’s why I said it was an accident.
‘Yes. I am standing right behind you,’ Henry said. ‘And I think my point has just been made. Because that,’ he added while pointing at the infected man. ‘Is murder.’
‘I’m not a murderer!’ Marcy said. ‘No, okay. I used to be a murderer, but that was like weeks ago.’
‘And he’s not dead either,’ Roy said. ‘I think you need an actual dead body to be a murderer. Although, having said that. The infection does stop the heart, so yes, there was a body, albeit he’s now come back to life.’
‘The measure of human life is free will,’ Henry said.
‘No, it’s not,’ Roy said. ‘What about people in comas? They don’t have free will, but they’re still deemed as human.’
‘All clear,’ Charlie said, running back with Dave and Mo. ‘He was living here alone.’
‘Thank fuck for that,’ Howie said, getting to his feet and drawing his sidearm.
‘Howie, don’t,’ Marcy said.
‘What do you want me to do, Marcy? We can’t exactly take him with us.’
‘You won’t be taking him anywhere,’ Henry said, making everyone turn to look at him. ‘And regardless as to the intent, this incident only serves to show your complete lack of competence. The leaders of this team have no clue what they are doing. No briefings. No debriefs. No tactical awareness. No strategy. You can’t even read a damned map! You’re playing at soldiers, Howie and you will get them all killed.’
‘Stop asking us to stand down!’ Paula said.
‘I’m no longer asking. The fate of the world rests on our ability to fulfil our mission, and you do not have that ability. Therefore, as an agent for the British Government authorised to take such action as deemed appropriate in defence of this country, I am ordering you to-.’
‘What fucking planet are you on?’ Howie asked. ‘What country?’
‘This country.’
‘Jesus. We’re in the twilight zone,’ Howie said, sharing a stunned look with Paula and Clarence. ‘Henry, there’s nothing left, mate. What part of that is hard for you to understand? Clarence isn’t a soldier. Frank isn’t an operative. Paula’s not an accountant. None of those things mean anything anymore. It’s all gone, Henry!’
‘It has not gone!’ Henry said with that tension spiking again. We could all feel it. ‘In times of such crisis the government will remain in stasis until such time as control and order can be re-instated.’
‘You are fucking delusional,’ Howie said.
‘Easy with that tongue, nipper,’ Frank said.
‘Fuck you!’ Howie shouted back. His eyes were getting all dark again. Like just before he went into Molly’s house, Frank must have clocked it too because his right hand started dropping towards the trigger guard on his rifle strapped to his chest.
‘Are you stupid or something?’ Marcy asked, looking from Henry to Frank. ‘What the hell are you doing? Frank! Take your hand off your gun.’
‘This has gone far enough!’ Paula said.
‘You’re right, Paula. It has,’ Henry said. ‘Mr Howie will stand down. I will be assuming command of his team.’
‘We work for the boss,’ Blowers said, and all of this is fast. Like bang bang bang. You know when something just gathers instant momentum and won’t stop. It was like that, and I could see Frank getting that look in his eyes, and Dave’s hands are on his guns, and everyone is starting to get twitchy.
‘Howie isn’t a commanding officer, Sergeant. He is a supermarket manager. Paula is an accountant. I appreciate your loyalty to them. It’s commendable. Which is exactly why you should continue to provide your services.’
Diary of Reginald.
By that time I gather things were becoming very heated again as young Danny was shouting updates from the department store doors to Nick and I operating the drone.
‘It’s going nuts,’ Danny said. ‘Frank is touching his gun and Marcy’s zombie thingy is growling and the dog’s getting shitty and-.’
‘Zombie thing?’ I asked.
‘Marcy sneezed on a guy living in there,’ Nick said, which seemed a perfectly logical explanation to me. ‘I’ll bring the drone back,’ Nick said.
‘No! Keep going,’ I told him while willing the drone to move faster before it all went horribly wrong, because once again I hadn’t factored for the acceleration of time and how everything bloody well happens that much faster now.
Diary of Carmen Eze,
It was ugly and getting uglier by the second.
‘Henry,’ Howie said. ‘Mate, there’s nothing left to serve. It’s all gone. The only thing we can do now is get the Panacea out and kill as many infected as we can. That’s it. That’s all we can do.’
‘As I said, Howie. You are neither trai
ned nor experienced to know how these things are done.’
‘Nobody is!’
‘I am!’
‘You fucked up worse than I did! You had the people that released it but you failed. You lost.’
‘I did not lose! I told you that. I did everything I could, but it ran too deep!’
‘IT WASN’T ENOUGH! You knew it existed. You fucking knew. What did you do? Tell me. What did you do?’
‘I do not answer to you, Howie. You have no idea the things we did to keep this country safe.’
‘And you failed! All of you. Frank. Carmen. George. My dad. You all failed because they released it, and now you don’t get to pop back up and tell everyone else what to do.’
‘You will stand down!’
‘You didn’t see it!’ Howie shouted over him, nearly chest to chest with Henry.
I was trying to give Frank a look to say back off. But Frank will always back Henry, no matter what the play is. Bashir was tooled up. Everyone was tooled up. And there it was. The tribalism of humanity. The need to belong to one or the other and nearly every face was bathed in sweat from that awful pressing heat feeding the bad energy as the tension got closer to detonation.
‘You didn’t see what we saw,’ Howie said, as Meredith stood at his side. Growling with her hackles up. Head low. Teeth showing. Then I spotted Bash shifting his aim to the dog which only set Tappy off.
‘Do not aim at our fucking dog,’ she said while bringing her own rifle up to aim at him.
‘Tappy!’ I shouted, waving a hand at her. ‘Mo, tell Bash to stop. Henry, please! We need to stand down before this goes off.’
‘Mr Howie will stand down,’ Henry said.
‘You didn’t see it,’ Howie said again. ‘Walls twenty feet high made from bodies. Children’s heads thrown at us. Seeing our families die. Killing them with our own hands. We saw that. WE FUCKING SAW THAT! Where were you? Where was the government? Where was the order and structure?’
‘I’ve heard enough of this. Your behaviour today demonstrates you are unfit to lead a team.’
‘Jesus, Henry,’ Marcy said, shaking her head in shock at him. ‘I thought you were so cool this morning.’
‘You’re acting like a banana republic paramilitary giving out justice as you see fit. Trashing cafes and letting your dog desecrate human remains. Decapitating people to get an arrow back. Arguing over tigers and wolves and safari parks then chasing after Dave to find cannabis plants. What’s next? Are you going to start breaking into houses to feed goldfish?’
‘They’ll be dead by now,’ I said, earning a sharp look from Henry.
‘There is a cure, Howie,’ Henry said. ‘There is a cure for all known diseases that will prevent anyone else from becoming infected, but you are too busy looking at drawings of dogs to deal with it. Which is fine. Go and do that. Go and find that… that blonde haired boy if you want but transfer your team to me and let me get the job done.’
Diary of Charlotte Doyle
Howie’s expression when Henry said that was awful. Howie doesn’t hide his emotions. What he feels is what you see. It’s very endearing. Cookey is the same, and the aura they give off is one of absolute honesty. But right then, it wasn’t nice to observe.
Howie looked wretched and confused because, in a way, everything Henry had said made sense, but it was all skewed and wrong – Henry had shifted the perspective on purpose to achieve his own aims, and poor Mr Howie was becoming overwhelmed. So were Clarence and Paula.
Nor could I understand why Reginald wasn’t with us. He’d normally be front and centre at anyone daring to attack Howie with an intellectual argument, but he was still outside.
‘Howie! See sense. You cannot finish this,’ Henry said.
‘And you think you can?’ Paula asked.
‘I know I can!’
‘Why?’
‘Because I am a professional,’ Henry said, but I kept my eyes on Howie and saw him staring at the infected man, then he looked beyond to the glass walls and caught sight of us all in the reflection. I could see what he saw. I could see the difference that stood out so stark and clear.
There was Howie. Dark, sweating, filthy, bruised and scuffed alongside Henry looking spick and span. Tidy and clean. Upright, straight-backed, and professional.
An amateur next to a professional.
And the fact that Henry is both highly trained and highly experienced is beyond question, but then I saw the tick in Howie’s eye when he’s trying to think of something. He narrows his eyes a little, and he was doing it then.
‘Howie,’ Henry said, but his voice was softer as though he sensed he was close to getting what he wanted. ‘Please order your team to work under my command.’
‘Why under your command?’ Howie asked, staring at Henry. And Howie’s voice was softer too, but inquisitive, like he didn’t understand it at all.
‘I’m sorry?’ Henry asked with a frown. ‘I just explained it all.’
‘Why under your command?’
‘Roy, perhaps you can take Howie and get him hydrated. I think he’s burning up. Everyone else muster up outside for a briefing,’ Henry ordered, turning away as Blowers and the others stayed still. Looking to Howie and Paula and Clarence for direction.
‘Jesus. This heat,’ Howie said, wiping the sweat from his face. ‘I can’t think straight.’
‘It’s okay, Howie. I’ve got it from here,’ Henry said.
Oh gosh. The air was charged. Let me say that. We were all just glued in place, watching these two men and Howie narrowing his eyes like he was still trying to think.
‘Charlie, you’re smart,’ Howie said to me. ‘What did Henry say earlier about being an agent?’
‘I’m sorry?’ I asked, unsure of what he meant, or what the play was.
‘Howie. Go and cool off,’ Henry ordered. ‘We’ll chat again before the team moves out.’
‘Sure,’ Howie said, smiling in a way that made even Carmen frown before he turned back to me. ‘Charlie, what did Henry say about being an agent?’ he asked as I spotted the glint in his eyes. It made the hairs on my neck stand up.
‘Henry said he is an agent for the British government, Mr Howie,’ I said.
‘Right. Come along, chaps,’ Henry called while waving at them to move. ‘Everyone outside please.’
‘Specifically, Charlie,’ Howie said, cutting over him. ‘What did Mr Henry say specifically?’
I looked to Paula and Clarence but could see they were as confused as everyone else. ‘Mr Henry said he is an agent for the British Government authorised to take such action as deemed appropriate in defence of this country.’
‘What else, Charlie?’ Howie asked.
‘Howie!’ Henry snapped.
‘What else, Charlie?’
‘Mr Henry said in times of such crisis-.’
‘This is absurd!’ Henry shouted.
‘Keep going. What did Mr Henry say?’ Howie asked.
‘Mr Henry said in times of such crisis the government will remain in stasis until such time as control can be re-instated,’ I said.
‘Is that right?’ Howie asked, eyeballing Henry.
‘Yes!’
‘The government will remain in stasis. You said that. I said the government is gone. You said just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. You said that.’
‘That’s enough, Howie.’
‘And Neal’s diaries said they will set up safe zones, which means this thing was organised, right?’
‘You will stand down!’
‘And you said it ran too deep for you to stop it. You said it was too connected. You did say that, didn’t you, Henry,’ Howie asked as everyone looked to Henry.
‘Did Mr Henry say all of those things?’ Howie asked, looking around at the nods and murmurs while Henry protested.
‘Yes, Mr Howie,’ I said. ‘Mr Henry said all of those things.’
‘Aye. He fucking did,’ Howie growled. ‘So, tell me, Henry. If you’re the profes
sional expert in these things, why didn’t they invite you? And how the fuck are you still an agent for a government that doesn’t want you anymore?’
Henry remained silent without a flicker of reaction, but the energy hardened, and we could all see that Howie’s words just hit a nerve. ‘This isn’t about policy or procedure, Henry,’ Howie continued. ‘This is as much about revenge for you as it is for me.’
Diary of Reginald.
Of course, in such a still day we could hear every word coming out of the department store, and I for one certainly smiled at Howie scoring a very good point against Henry. But the danger was far from over, and I knew Henry would not back down until he had what he wanted.
‘There!’ Nick said outside in the street staring into the small screen on his drone controller.
I looked at my monitor, and right there, on the screen on my desk, was a nice town filled with infected.
I knew the infected would be there, and I knew the route to give to Nick, but I was still worried you see. I was worried because this was a very big undertaking, and I wasn’t entirely sure we were ready. My god I wasn’t sure at all.
But then without risk there can be no reward, and the thing we needed more than ever right at that point was to just get stuck in and let Howie do what Howie does best.
And so I took a second to exhale and ready my mind before flinging my hands into the air.
‘Oh my! Look! Children at risk. Lots of little ones all being chased.’
‘Shit. Where?’ Nick asked, peering closer at his controller screen
‘Somewhere,’ I muttered, jumping from the van. ‘I SAY, MR HOWIE!’ I shouted with a voice full of panic and worry. ‘MR HOWIE!’ I yelled. Running into the department store to a charged atmosphere waiting to ignite. ‘MR HOWIE! Children, Mr Howie!’
‘Eh, what?’ Howie asked, snapping his head over.
‘Huge horde, Mr Howie. All chasing some tiny tots in their little shoes and Barbie dolls… BARBIE DOLLS, MR HOWIE!’
‘Fuck. Where?’ Howie said as that energy instantly changed from the angered tribalism into the thing I needed it to be.
