by Haywood, RR
‘Signal failure I think,’ the Train Guy said and we all looked back up at him as he took a sip from his mug with his office trousers rolled up around his calves, and his office shirt open to show the vest underneath. His potted plants all moved to the edge near the hole in the wall and the office laid out behind him.
‘Oh,’ Howie said, I guess not knowing what else to say.
‘You were on it?’ Nick asked.
‘I was. From Waterloo. I was going home to Portsmouth,’ he stopped talking then seemed to realise we all wanted more. ‘And it crashed.’
‘Oh,’ Howie said, I guess still not knowing what else to say.
‘Head on,’ Train Guy added. ‘Right there in the station. Mine was the blue one,’ he said with a nod to the carriage poking out of his building.
‘How the hell did you survive that?’ Paula asked.
‘I have no idea,’ he said simply. ‘I was passed out drunk before we even left Waterloo. Next thing I woke up and the carriage was stuck up here.’
‘No fucking way!’ Howie said as Train Guy just shrugged and took another sip.
‘Why are you still here?’ I asked him.
He looked at me again and smiled gently. ‘I just stayed,’ he said. There was something compelling about him. Something very centred and real.
‘No family then?’ someone asked.
‘I had family. Wife and two daughters,’ he paused while the question hung in the air. ‘They hated me. I hated them,’ he shrugged again. Matter of fact. Simple. Calm. Centred. ‘I was a banker. I had a Porsche,’ he added with a smile and a wink that made us all smile back at him. ‘Now I have these plants and this view.’ He looked out and I saw a man at peace and could only imagine what he went through to get there. ‘But on the plus side. I’ve lost two stone in weight, and I haven’t had a drink since it happened. This is a new world. The air. It’s so clean now. And silent. Have you seen the stars at night? There’s no light pollution. And you see that red carriage? The end one poking out of the station. A fox just had her cubs in it. Three of them. Gorgeous things. They come over to where you’re standing and I throw food down for them. I shouldn’t really. They need to hunt. But there’s plenty of rats out now. And Badgers too. I saw two of them in the station a few days ago. I think they found a way into the café. I’m assuming you’re Mr Howie then.’
I saw Howie blink in surprise then nod. ‘Yeah. I am.’
Train Guy nodded. ‘People pass through. It’s nice really. They stop and talk and share what they know. People didn’t do that before.They said you’re fighting back.’
‘We’re trying,’ Howie said, as mesmerised as the rest of us.
‘To you then, Mr Howie,’ Train Guy said and raised his mug. ‘It’s just tea, but it’s nice tea. Convenience store wholesalers on the ground floor,’ he added as we all dropped our heads to look at the signs advertising convenience store supply chains next to the main doors, and right then, right there, I wanted what he had.
Not the tea. I mean the calmness. The acceptance of what was and the truthfulness of what he said about his family. They hated me. I hated them. A few short words, but they summed up the toxicity of the lives we had.
‘Anyway. They went that way,’ Train Guy said, pointing north east as we all turned to look that way then back at him. ‘They went through here last night and this morning. There’s a lot though. Is it just you?’
‘Just us,’ Howie said.
‘Well. From all accounts you’re very capable,’ he said as he started looking at Howie’s team one by one. ‘You must be Dave. You’re obviously Clarence. Paula. Blowers with the eye-patch. Roy the archer. Ah, smiling blonde Cookey and handsome Nick, and you must be Charlie. Which means that young man is Mo Mo?’
‘Is Mo Mo, innit,’ Mo said.
‘They said you were cheeky,’ Train Guy said with a smile. ‘So, you must be Marcy,’ he said with a nod to her then looked at the last two. ‘And of course Danny and Tappy.’
‘Yes! Get in!’ Tappy said. High-fiving Danny. ‘They’ve heard of us.’
‘And Reginald the brains,’ he added as we all turned to smile at Reginald.
‘Pleasure,’ Reginald said. ‘And you are?’
‘I haven’t decided yet,’ Train Guy replied with what must be the coolest reply ever given. I wanted to be him. I wanted to be somewhere with that level of peace talking to people travelling by and saying I hadn’t yet chosen a name. ‘You have more people with you,’ he then added with a look to my team. ‘I’m sure they’ll talk about you too soon enough.’ He smiled again and sat back in his chair as we all stared up.
‘Er. Do you need anything?’ Howie asked.
‘I’m fine, Mr Howie. Just fine.’
‘Right. We’d best get on then,’ Howie said. ‘It was nice meeting you.’
‘And you. Good luck! Stop by on your way back. Let me know it’s cleared, and I’ll pass the word.’
‘When what’s cleared?’ Howie asked.
‘Crawley, Mr Howie. They’re all going to Crawley.’
40
Diary of Charlotte Doyle
Mr Howie didn’t say a word. Neither did Mr Henry, but they both just looked at Reggie when Train Guy said the infected were in Crawley.
‘Not here. Load up,’ Paula said. She didn’t need to explain what she meant either and so we all piled back into the vehicles and drove up the road looking at the carnage until we hit the edge of Horsham. ‘Here,’ Paula said from the back of the Saxon as Tappy pulled over.
I caught Maddox’s eye as we dropped out, but we didn’t need to say anything. Nobody did. Because we all heard Train Guy, and we all realised right then that Reginald was taking us to Crawley, and Crawley wasn’t just more than twice the size of Horsham.
Crawley was a city.
‘Crawley?’ Paula asked as she marched towards Reginald coming out of his van. ‘Bloody Crawley?’
‘No, hang on,’ Reginald said.
‘The Crawley. The massive town right next to Gatwick airport which just happens to be the busiest single runway airport in the entire fucking world! That Crawley?’
‘Did you know that was our destination, Reginald?’ Henry asked as we all converged next to a large roundabout connecting several main roads.
‘Of course, he bloody knew,’ Howie said, pointing at the huge signboard at the side of the road. ‘Gatwick and Crawley. We’ve been seeing signs for it all bloody day. I should have realised.’
‘Now now, chaps. It’s just a town,’ Reginald said.
‘Reginald, Crawley is a city,’ Henry said.
‘Ah. Now. You’re wrong there, Henry. Crawley is not a designated city according to-‘
‘It’s a fucking city!’ Paula snapped over him.
‘Reggie. Crawley is too big for us,’ Howie said.
‘CHILDREN, MR HOWIE!’
‘What the fuck! What children?’ Howie asked.
‘It’s a bloody city. Of course there will be children,’ Reginald said.
‘Reggie. This is too much for us,’ Paula said.
‘Poppycock! This isn’t too much at all.’
‘We need to stand this down,’ Henry said.
‘No! We’ll be fine,’ Reginald said.
‘Howie, I suggest we find an alternative plan to negate the CP from a distance,’ Henry said as he turned to Howie.
‘Henry, I said we’ll be fine!’ Reginald said.
‘No. Absolutely not. Crawley is too densely populated. We’ll get flanked instantly from all sides with no escape route.’
‘Tosh!’ Reginald said, trying to sound bright and cheery. ‘Hinchley Point was built up and we survived that.’
‘Hinchley Point was bordered on one side by the sea, and you also had mortars and a heavy machine gun firing from a position of height which was after Carmen blew the town on fall back. You don’t have those tactical options this time,’ Henry said. His cultured voice carrying clear as we listened on. ‘This is inner city warfare against an enemy tho
usands of times your size.’
‘We’ll be fine,’ Reginald said again.
‘Reggie,’ Howie said.
‘CHILDREN, MR HOWIE.’
‘Stop saying that! I am not getting everyone killed. It’s too big. Crawley is too big.’
‘It’s not too big! It’s a damned town the same as every other damned town we’ve done.’
‘We’ve been avoiding places like that exactly for this reason,’ Howie said.
‘Until I thought we were good enough,’ Reginald fired back. His voice louder and starting to carry. ‘But now we are good enough.’
‘Reggie, it’s not about being good,’ Howie said. ‘It’s simple size.’
‘Reggie,’ Clarence said deeply from his other side. ‘We’re standing this down.’
‘We are not standing down!’
‘Enough, Reggie!’ Clarence says.
‘NOT ENOUGH, CLARENCE. I say when it’s enough and don’t for one second let Henry’s words get into your head. We’re taking Crawley.’
I saw Howie tense as he looked to that big sign and the words emblazoned across the middle: CRAWLEY AND GATWICK. We all looked at it and the long road stretching off into the distance that we knew would take us there. And that heat bore down upon us all. Making us sweat while merely standing still. Making us gasp and see the shimmers hanging above the road.
‘It’s too much,’ Clarence said after a moment. ‘We’re biting off more than we can chew. Henry’s right. Stand it down.’
‘No! They’ll bite off more than they can chew. Not us. Especially when they get a face full of the Saxon driving into ‘em,’ Reginald added with his whole face and manner coming alive with passion as his voice grew louder. ‘We’ll give ‘em more than they can chew, the damned rotters.’
‘Reggie,’ Paula said, but her voice was soft and pleading, which made Reggie seem awkward and desperate. ‘It’s too much.’
‘It’s not too much. Eh, chaps? Blasted infected. What! Charging about the place eating little kiddies. Children, Mr Howie. CHILDREN! We won’t have that. We shan’t have that. Not on our watch. That’s what I say. Crawley might be a city. She might be a big town. So what? To hell with it.’
‘Jesus,’ Howie said closing his eyes for a second to rub his nose while shaking his head.
‘Don’t you dare!’ Reginald shouted at him. ‘Don’t you bloody dare give up, Howie.’
‘Reggie. It’s done. I’m calling it.’
‘It’s the right thing to do,’ Henry said.
‘Damn it all! It’s not the right thing to do. We’re taking Crawley. Come on now! We’re the living army. We’ve got the unkillable Sergeant Blowers. We’ve got Dave and Clarence and Meredith and Charlie on Jess. We’ll have Tappy driving the Saxon and Mr Howie full of fury and wrath. Crawley is too big? What is that? Who said that? Too big for who? For us? NEVER! This isn’t our war. It never was, but I’ll be damned if we didn’t stand up and give it back to them. Eh, Clarence? They don’t like it up ‘em, do they?’
Clarence snorted a polite laugh at Reginald passion, but still shook his head.
‘They don’t like it up ‘em! Eh, Cookey. What do you say?’ Reginald asked, striding about in the middle of us all.
‘They don’t like it up ‘em, Reggie,’ Cookey said quietly. The humour and energy now gone.
‘That’s right. What do you reckon, Sergeant Blowers? Fancy losing another body part?’
Blowers offered a smile, but it seemed to be half in humour and half in pity for the desperation in Reginald’s voice.
‘Come on now, chaps. I can see defeat in your faces. And I know what Henry said makes sense. The man is a highly respected professional. But it doesn’t mean every word is right. Not at all. We’ve saved thousands of people and we’ve given hope to countless more because we fought back. And yes, we’ve made mistakes. Good gosh. A blasted Tesco shelf-stacker? An accountant? What right have we got to even try? But we bloody did, and do you know what? We got good at it too. Every day of it has taught us how to be stronger and get better. Sergeant Blowers held the line against twenty thousand infected with a tiny team. He did that! And do you know what else? Every battle we have taken on we have won. Every fight we have been victorious. We’ve had losses but look at what we have achieved. We have cleared a whole geographical area. Even Lilly recognises that!’
We listened to the passion in his voice and watched as he looked at each of us in turn. Gesturing and jabbing his hands. That small man in his shirt and tie.
‘I won’t sugar coat it, chaps. Crawley is bigger than we’ve done. And what we have before us is an ordeal of the most grievous kind.’
‘That’s Churchill,’ Frank said, giving him a look as Reginald winked at him.
‘Many long months of struggle and suffering face us,’ Reginald continued. ‘And Henry demands to know what is our policy? Well. Our policy is to wage war with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny that must be stopped in its tracks.’
‘He bloody is. He’s doing Churchill,’ Frank said with a smile touching the corners of his mouth. But the strangest thing is that it was working. I could feel it. We all could. That energy coming from Reginald. Like Howie does when he fires up. It was like that and so we all started lifting our heads to look at him as he carried on.
‘So, if our policy is war, then what is our aim? I can answer in one word. Victory! It is victory at all costs. Victory in spite of terror. However long and hard the road may be. We’re all that remains of hope. It’s just us now. Just us few. We’re the only thing to give survivors a fighting chance at life. So yes! We’re going into Crawley,’ he said while pointing to that long straight road.
‘A big town. A huge town! And it’s full too. My god, she’s packed to the brim with infected. But if we don’t cull those numbers the evolution will grow faster than we can control, and they will win, and everything we have done so far would have been for nothing. Do not fixate solely on the Panacea. Getting it out will not stop our enemy from growing. We have to cull their numbers. We have to do this.’
‘Reggie,’ Henry said.
‘Shut up damn you!’ Reginald roared at him. ‘Releasing that Panacea right now means we still lose! The enemy is too big. We have to reduce the numbers before we release it, because each person we save means greater strength when we do release the Panacea. Don’t you see that? You have to see that. We need survivors to give the Panacea to. That’s why Lilly is building her wall. That’s why I chose this route and that’s why I took us through those villages and those towns. We saved one hundred people in Petworth. Thirty-six in Pulborough Garden Centre.’
‘Reginald,’ Henry said.
‘TWENTY-FIVE in the village shop. Seventy-five in Storrington! Twenty-four in Squires. Five in Adversane. Seventy in Billingshurst. Thirty at the Lakeside Café and another forty in Southwater. That’s three hundred and sixty five people now heading to the fort where they can be trained and kept safe. That’s why we took that route today. To save those people so you would see it, Henry. And yes, I know the horde are in Crawley. Of course I bloody know! We’ve been aiming at it all day. How did you not notice, Major Dillington? Where did you think we were going? And don’t look at Howie. He didn’t know either, but the difference is Howie trusts me to do my job. I pick the fights, Henry. Then Howie wins them, and I would not risk my team if I did not think they could handle it. So you listen to me, Major. All of you listen to me. The infected in this town are not the infected we’ve been playing with. They are not as evolved as Cassie’s infected. They’re slower to respond. That gives us an edge. It means we can get in and cull them while we find and kill the CP. And yes! There’s a lot of them. But what of it? We’re still going in and we’ll still fight them. By God we’ll drive in and fight them. We’ll fight them on the beaches if we have to! We’ll fight them on the landing grounds, we’ll fight them in the fields and in the streets, and we’ll fight them in Crawley; we shall never
surrender! Now stand up straight and get your boot laces tied because FUCK ‘EM. WE’LL WIN!’
We all said it. It was impossible not to say it. That rush inside. That surge of energy was too strong to resist.
‘FUCK ‘EM!’ I shouted out.
‘That’s it, Charlie!’ Reginald said before spinning away to face the others. ‘Eh? They don’t like it up ‘em!’
I saw Clarence lift his chin and saw the violence shining in his eyes. ‘They don’t like it up ‘em,’ he said while looking at Howie. To the Tesco shelf-stacker that we all followed. ‘We doing this, boss?’
‘I dunno. What do you think?’ Howie asked looking up at him. ‘You got any other plans?’
‘Not really.’
‘Best get in there then,’ Howie said. ‘Paula and Marcy in the van with Reggie. Get the drone up. Mads, you’re in with us. Load up!’
We started to move. All of us grinning like maniacs.
‘This is ridiculous,’ Henry called out.
‘I will fucking stab you,’ Marcy said as she turned on Henry in an instant. She meant it too. It was there in her eyes. You don’t mess with Marcy when she’s like that. That’s the old Marcy. The bad Marcy. The killer Marcy.
Even Henry seemed stunned at her ferocity, if only for a split-second. But it was there alright. That flinch of uncertainty.
Then we were once more loading up.
Hot bodies in a hot tin can and heading to war in a city against a countless number of infected.
41
Diary of Carmen Eze
That speech! It shouldn’t have worked. I mean, come on? Really? It was the most awful load of garbage I’ve ever heard BUT OH MY GOD!
If I had a crush on Reggie before, I was falling in love with the weird little nerd by the end of it.
He was right too. And it was so simple. We had to cull the numbers before we release the Panacea.
That’s what the whole thing had been about, and while Howie and Henry were comparing dick sizes, Reggie was thunking his mammoth dong on his battle desk, because he’d already planned it.
