"What changed your mind?" he finally spoke up.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes.
I was glad he was pressed against my back, so he couldn't see the panic in my eyes. I didn't know how much to tell him. How much to reveal to him.
But if I was going to be in this, truly in this with him, I couldn't keep it to myself.
"I was afraid," I confessed.
"Of what?"
"Of opening up," I said. "Of being vulnerable. Of being weak."
Liam huffed out a snort. "You're one of the strongest people I know."
"Sometimes," I agreed. "But I wasn't always. And I never wanted to feel like that again." I turned in the circle of his arms. "But I realized something up there on that stage. I don't feel weak around you."
Liam's eyes went soft, understanding. He stroked my hair with a soft hand.
"It was just like you said before," I continued. "When I'm singing, I feel like I can take on the world. But I realized, I don't want to do it alone."
I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek.
"I want to take on the world with you by my side."
21
I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. Rolling onto my back, I stretched until my joints popped. The bed was warm. I could have stayed lying in the heap of blankets forever.
But the idea of breakfast was too compelling. I rummaged around in my drawers for a pair of clean underwear, then looked around for something easy to put on. My eyes landed on Liam's t-shirt, tossed haphazardly on the floor. A flush reddened my face.
That would be way too cheesy. Wouldn't it?
I debated with myself for a few minutes.
I swiped up the shirt and tugged it on. The hem fell just low enough to cover my important bits.
It smelled like him.
With pinked cheeks, I left the bedroom and padded over to the kitchen in bare feet. Liam was standing in front the stove in his boxers, spatula in hand. His soft hair was all messed up at the back, sticking up in all directions. He hadn't showered yet.
I came up behind him, careful to make shuffling sounds so I wasn't sneaking up. He turned his head just as I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my cheek against his broad back.
"Good morning," he said with a smile.
"Morning," I murmured back before letting out a yawn. "Coffee?" I asked expectantly.
"Are you one of those, can't function without caffeine types?" he asked, amused.
"Mmm," was all I said. It was too early in the morning to communicate in full sentences.
"I've made a pot over there," he said. "Hope you don't mind I made myself at home."
My only response was to squeeze him tight and place a kiss on his inked arm.
"Do you have any plans for the day?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"I have an idea for something fun we could do," he said.
Liam kept his tone light and casual, but I was suddenly abruptly awake.
"Like… a date?" I asked carefully.
He shrugged easily, but his shoulder muscles tensed up. "Sure."
"I'd love to," I said.
"Yeah?" he asked with a hint of relief.
"Did you think I'd say no?"
"We never really talked about…" he trailed off.
"Ooh, are we having The Talk?" I teased. I turned him around to face me. "I told you. I want you by my side."
Green eyes met mine, somber. "I want to make sure we're on the same page."
"You want to make this official?" I smiled. "I, Cerise Moreau, want you, Liam Knight, to be my boyfriend."
"Isn't this supposed to be the other way around?" His lips quirked up. "Shouldn't I be getting down on one knee?"
"Hold up now," I said. "You're not supposed to skip the entire book and go straight to the last page."
"I'm a patient man," he said, a sparkle of good humor in his eyes. "I can wait."
My heartbeat thumped heavily in my chest. He'd said those words before, and he'd proven them true. I'd put Liam through a lot of shit to get to this point.
I cleared my throat and took the spatula from his hand, taking over breakfast duties.
"So where are we going?" I asked.
"It's a secret."
"And are you that type of person?" I asked.
"What type?"
"The type who likes to keep secrets?"
His expression turned oddly pained. He turned and opened the fridge door.
"No," he said, his voice tight. "I hate secrets."
I'd been joking, but Liam had reacted strongly. I had to wonder how serious he was being.
"Did somebody throw you a surprise birthday party that backfired spectacularly?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
He poked his head out from the fridge, looking confused.
"To hate secrets that much," I clarified.
His expression eased, until a small smile was playing on his lips.
"Nothing like that," he said. "I just don't like having things kept from me, that's all."
"Understandable," I said.
But the smallest hint of worry started to nag at me. I was keeping something from Liam. He didn't know about Harper. He didn't know what happened.
But was it really that important for Liam to know? My past was just that — the past. It had nothing to do with me and Liam right here and now.
"Bacon's ready," I announced.
We grabbed our coffee and food and perched ourselves on two bar stools at the counter.
"Sorry I don't have a proper kitchen table," I said.
"No worries." Liam looked around, taking in the rest of the apartment. "You've managed to do a lot with a small space."
"I read a lot of interior decorating magazines."
"Do you really?"
"No."
We shared a laugh.
As I sipped on my coffee, Liam nodded to one of my many bookshelves.
"Who's your favorite author?" he asked.
I had to think about it. "I guess I like Jane Austen the most."
"That's a good one."
"Yours?"
"Terry Pratchett," he replied without thinking. He jabbed his finger at the bookshelf. I looked to where he was pointing. "Is your favorite Sense and Sensibility?"
My lungs froze.
Because it was.
Harper had given me that exact book to me as a birthday present one year.
My entire body went eerily still.
Liam took it in his hand and opened the front cover. Something light and thin fell out. He picked it up between two fingers.
"You really have been friends for a long time," he said.
It was a photo. A photo of me and my friends back in high school.
It was a photo of me, Morris and Harper.
I suppressed the urge to snatch it away. I clasped my hands together in my lap.
He flicked his eyes to mine. "This is Morris, right?" he asked. "Who's the other guy?"
"H—" I faltered. My mouth went dry. I tried not to choke on the words. "That's Harper. We were all in a band together."
I waited for the gaping hole to open in my chest. Waited for ice to crystalize around my heart.
But as I waited, muscles locked and tensed, I realized something.
The gaping hole was no longer all-consuming. It was more like a small fissure. Bitingly cold darkness pricked at the edges of my ribcage, but didn't spread further.
It hurt, yes. Thinking of Harper still caused me pain.
But it was more distant now. It was like when I was on stage. I still felt it, but it no longer brought me to my knees. It no longer caused me unbearable anguish.
"How old are you guys here?" Liam asked.
"I don't know," I murmured. "I was maybe fifteen. The guys were a little older."
"You're cute as a brunette," he said. "You ever think of letting your hair go natural again?"
"No."
"Hm
." He studied the photo. "So this is your first band?"
"Yeah."
"You were the singer and Morris played drums, right?" he asked. "Was Harper the guitarist?"
I nodded silently, not able to speak.
He glanced up at me when I didn't respond out loud.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Nostalgia," I lied.
"I don't know much about your past," Liam said, examining the photo. "But I'd like to."
I wasn't ready to tell him the whole story. But—
"Our band broke up a few years after that photo was taken."
"I'm sorry," he said. "That's always hard."
"It was." The fissure in my chest threatened to widen.
A slight frown crossed Liam's lips. "And Morris?"
"We—" I swallowed hard. "We drifted apart, actually. We grew up together, but until recently, I hadn't seen him in years. It was too hard, I think, for both of us. He left shortly after…" I stopped, not wanting to say it. "After the band separated."
Liam squeezed my hand. I squeezed back with a tight, shaky grip.
"So you lost your friend and your band at the same time," he murmured. "I get it. When my band broke up—" he shook his head. "They were my best friends. It was like losing family, you know?" Liam looked down at the photo again. "You were cute even back then. All innocent and wide-eyed, no makeup and messy hair."
"Luckily I've mastered the art of the smoky eye since then," I joked.
Liam cupped my face and swept his thumb under my eye. "I think that smoke's more of a raging forest fire."
I winced. "I probably look like a raccoon after last night, don't I?"
"A little bit," he agreed. He raised an eyebrow. "You want to go wash up together?"
"Is this an invitation for shower sex?" I asked, perking up.
He laughed. "You're so direct. You cut right through the bullshit."
"Is that bad?"
"No. I love it. It's refreshing."
"So that's a yes on the sex?"
His only response was to usher me out of the kitchen and into the bathroom with haste.
22
"How old are you again?" I asked Liam.
"Twenty-six. Why?"
I pointed to the sign in front of the building we were standing in front of.
"I think you missed a few words in that sign," I said.
He followed my finger and laughed.
"Just because it's a science center for kids doesn't mean adults can't enjoy it," Liam said.
"What made you think of a science center for our first real date?" I asked. "Not that I'm complaining. I'm sure it'll be fun. But I was expecting something a little more…"
"Adult?" He exaggerated a leer. "X-rated?"
"Mature."
He just grinned.
Once we'd given our tickets to the attendant Liam took a map and tugged me along eagerly.
"Come on," he said. "You're going to love this."
Our first stop was at one of those static electricity orbs that makes your hair stand up on end. Liam took the bullet and stepped up, letting me be the first one to laugh at the other. His long-ish hair stuck out in all directions. I suppressed a grin.
"You look like a lion with a straggly mane," I told him.
When it was my turn, my hair was too long for all of it to properly float in the air like his had, but it was enough to cause a tangled mess. Liam teased me as I grumbled and fought to smooth down the strands afterwards.
Out next stop was what I called The Bubble Room. It was filled with floating bubbles and foam in all manner of shapes and sizes. In the middle of the room stood a foam machine shaped like a cannon that could be let loose on unsuspecting victims. One setup was large enough for a fully grown adult to stand in the middle of a plastic ring and be encased in a bubble the size of their entire body.
We spent a good twenty minutes blowing bubbles at each other and chasing them to pop. Liam blew a handful of foam in my face and I shrieked out loud. I got him back by smacking a handful of cold, wet foam under his shirt and onto his bare skin. I enjoyed his startled jump and high pitched yelp. The two of us made more noise than the kids.
Then there was the crazy perspective room, a room with a giant robot arm you could maneuver yourself, a room with a huge sandbox and wind machine to demonstrate air currents, and more.
I was having more fun than I had in a while. I didn't have to put on a show of being cool, of being self-possessed. I didn't have to be the one to tell others to calm down and act like professional adults. I was able to let loose, to be just like a kid myself.
At one point, I stopped and watched Liam. He was playing with a old time Morse code machine, frantically tapping the buttons with glee as he pretended to send an important message.
My heart swelled in my chest. I hadn't felt this free in years.
I went to him and asked what he was doing.
"Sending Gael a message that there was another dire emergency," he said with a wicked grin.
"We are not sneaking off to have sex in a children's science center." As much as the idea of it sent a thrill down my spine.
We spent nearly three hours hopping from room to room when Liam looked at the time on his phone and slowed us down.
"This place has a lot of exhibits, but there's one in particular I think you'll love," he said. "It's the real reason I brought us here."
Intrigued, I followed as he guided me through the building. He stopped in the middle of a hallway just before we reached a set of double doors.
"Close your eyes," he urged.
"That's putting a lot of faith in someone who tried to smother me with bubbles."
"No smothering this time, I promise."
I did as he asked and closed my eyes. He took my hand and lead me with baby steps through the doors. I immediately felt a change in temperature. This new room was cooler, and quieter. There were no screaming children. The few voices I did hear were distant and echoed. The room must have been vast.
"Can I open them?" I asked.
"Not yet." Liam positioned me just so in what I expected was the middle of the room. "Now. Look up."
I opened my eyes. The room was near pitch black. I could barely make out Liam next to me. I looked up.
Stars. My vision was filled with stars, hundreds of them, thousands of them, tiny pinpricks of white, gold, blue and red, glittering against a velvety dark sky.
"What—?" I began to ask.
"We're in a planetarium," he explained.
I didn't say anything. I just stared, awed, at a replica of the heavens projected on the domed ceiling. The stars were circling around the center, not stationary, moving at an almost dizzying pace. It had to be a sped up version of their actual paths.
"This is so cool," I said in a hushed voice.
"This isn't the coolest part." He turned me around and directed my attention to the far right corner. "Wait for a second."
Moments passed. I waited patiently. The stars swirled around me. Then—
A blast of light occurred before my eyes. A flash, maybe ten times as brilliant as the brightest star, lit up the dome. I stood still, mesmerized, as a star flared up and went dark in front of my eyes, leaving behind it a cloud of colorful dust and gas.
Liam's lips touched my ear. "You just watched a star explode into a supernova."
My breath caught in my throat. I swallowed hard. The back of my eyes stung with the beginning of tears. I blinked them away rapidly, overcome with a dozen different emotions. I couldn't speak, for fear of my voice trembling.
Liam wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.
"That's going to be you," he said. "And I'm going to be right there." He pointed upward toward the rainbow of stardust.
"Where?" I asked, voice thick and wavering.
"In the heart of that nebula is a neutron star." I felt his lips curve into a smile. "Neutron stars are very magnetic, you know."
I couldn't help it. I let out a giggle that almost be
come a sob. Liam's arms tightened around me, not saying a word. I basked in his embrace for long minutes.
"Thank you," I told him eventually, breaking the silence. "This was a really fun date."
He placed a kiss on the top of my head. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."
"Now the pressure is on," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "I don't know how you're going to outdo yourself for our second date."
"Why don't you plan it?" he suggested.
"Nothing can top this."
"It doesn't have to be grand. It just has to be you."
I was already brainstorming a few ideas, but I knew nothing I came up with would ever top this.
Liam took me to see a supernova, and told me he was going to be the star right in the heart of it. He didn't know how true his words were.
Liam was already in my heart.
23
We continued to watch the stars long after the supernova had come and gone.
"Maybe we can go on a picnic at night and stargaze for real some time?" Liam suggested.
"I'd like that." I turned in his arms, looked around furtively to make sure we weren't being watched, and pressed a quick kiss on his lips. "What else do you have planned for the day?"
"There's still some more exhibits left to see. Or," he said, sneaking his hand down my back to cup my ass discreetly in the darkness, "we could go back to my place and I could cook you dinner?"
His place. Alone. Together.
My insides throbbed and pulsed.
"I could go for a nice home cooked meal," I said.
The hand on my ass snuck under my skirt. Calloused fingers trailed between my inner thighs. My stomach muscles clenched.
"Let's get out of here," he murmured in my ear.
I nodded eagerly.
The drive to his place wasn't long, but it seemed to take ages. I was surprised when we pulled up into a house and not an apartment or condo building. The place looked huge, three stories with a gated driveway.
"I thought your band never hit it big?" I asked.
"Hm?"
I nodded to his home. "I know it's not a mansion or anything but it's still pretty impressive."
"My parents are well off," was all he said. I was surprised at how curt he sounded. Then he flashed a small smile. "You should see the house my sister bought."
Hard Rock Crush Page 11
