One of the guys grabbed him from under the armpit and practically lifted him up by himself. “You got it.” He gave me a nasty glare as he pulled Eli away.
I was still kneeling on the ground as they dragged his body away, completely unsure of what to do with myself. He hadn't jumped, he had slipped, but it was still my fault. I looked at Noa shaking her head. “Girl, you have got to get these guys off of you. They go crazy when you're around.”
I closed my eyes. “You and I both know that Eli was crazy the whole time.”
She chewed on her lower lip and sat back cross-legged on the ground. “You know he's been like this ever since the accident.”
My head snapped up the word accident. I hadn’t heard anything about that. “What accident?”
Noa started to pick some dirt from underneath her nails. “It was maybe two years ago? He'd been dating this girl named Megan. She was pretty and a real badass. Totally Eli’s type, nothing like you.” Wow, that was a relief. “She liked to ride motorcycles with him, but then one night… I don't know, the story was that she got hit by a drunk driver and she wasn't wearing a helmet. She didn't even make it to the hospital. Eli saw the whole thing. He's never really gotten over it.”
I was shocked. No one had ever said anything to me about this. Why had another secret been kept hidden from me?
“Oh my God, that's awful. Why didn't anybody tell me?”
Noa shrugged, still not making eye contact with me. “You weren’t around. And I was leaving on a tour, it just didn't seem like the right time. But after tonight—I don't know, Lila. I think he might need some help.”
I didn't really have anything to say. “Yeah maybe.” It was all I could come up with. Eli did need help, but was I the right person to give it to him? I didn't think so.
Seventeen
I decided the next morning I would call Levi and ask for help with his brother. I had to assume that he didn't know how bad it was, or he would've gotten him help already. I waited anxiously as the phone rang, but he picked up quickly. “Hi Levi, it's Lila.”
“A little early in the morning for you, isn't it? Especially after a party as dramatic as last night was.”
“Very funny. I can't believe you just left me there to deal with him.”
“Left you there? You left me five years ago. I've been dealing with him being a jackass ever since. Scratch that; I was dealing with him being a jackass before that too. So what? I wanted a night off. I deserve it. I'm tired of dealing with his antics all the time. Besides Lila, we had an agreement. There was only one rule, but you never play by the rules, do you?”
I sighed thinking about what I was about to say. “But when we made that agreement you didn’t tell me the whole truth. Noa told me about Megan. Why didn’t you tell me his girlfriend was killed?”
There was silence at the other end of the line. I felt like time stood still until he began speaking again. “It wasn't my news to share.” I could hear guilt in his voice.
“But Levi, he really needs help. Noa said his drinking has gotten out of control since she died. What does your family think?”
“They think that he's an adult, and that he should handle this himself. He's never done anything that stupid before. Last night was the worst I've ever seen him,” he admitted.
“You need to talk to your family, something needs to be done about him. He needs your help, Levi.”
“Thanks for your concern. I don't know, I’ll talk to them. But you know Eli will not want to have any part of that.”
“He might, if it came from you. You’re his brother, his best friend. He trusts you, he’ll listen to you.”
“I'll try, okay?” I could hear frustration in his voice, but I knew that meant he might really be hearing me.
“Okay.” I paused. “So where does that leave us?”
“You broke the rule. We’re done.”
“You’re kidding. You know that I didn’t know what was going on.”
“No you didn’t. And honestly last night was the best fuck I’ve had in a while, but I can’t have Eli involved in my business. He’s a ticking time bomb, you said it yourself.”
“But Levi,” I protested. It was good sex, great even. I didn’t want our tryst to end. Not yet. I wasn’t ready.
“Lila, stop. We tried, we failed. It’s over.”
And that was it. He hung up and suddenly I was crushed all over again.
Eighteen
“What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked Noa as I splayed a map out on the kitchen table.
“Tomorrow? I don't know, why? What's up with the map? Are you planning some sort of a road trip?”
I nodded vigorously. “So I royally screwed things up with Levi, and I have it on good authority that he is meeting his agent up at the Red Hawks Stadium tomorrow. I thought what better way to show him that I am all in on our little tryst than by going up there. Do you want to join me?”
Noa shook her head. “No, I don't think so. I mean, have you really talked to Levi? I just feel like there's a lot more going on here than what you know.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
She shrugged. “Nothing. It doesn't mean anything. I've got to go pick up Clara, I promised her dinner tonight. Good luck with Levi, let me know how it goes.”
I nodded to her as she left. Why did I feel like she was hiding something from me? It just felt like Fayette was so full of secrets all the time. Life would be so much easier if people were just honest with one another.
I scanned the map again and figured out that it would take me a few hours to get to the stadium. Levi had mentioned that he had to go sign some papers and then I saw a posting on the Red Hawks’ Facebook page with his picture and information. There would also be a press conference. I wasn't going to interrupt him while he was doing his work; I wasn't there to embarrass him. That was one of the original agreements. That this was never to be known to the team, it was just for us. But I figured that I could get a moment with him and it would show him that I was making an effort. That the whole thing with Eli really was just a misunderstanding, and I hadn't meant to break the rules. Maybe we could make this work after all. I was still struggling with the no feelings part, considering I felt like I had been torn up since the end of the arrangement. But I could get past that. The sex was worth it.
I left early the next morning, and borrowed some Red Hawks gear from my dad. He had bought it after he heard Levi was signing with them. He also let me borrow Charity’s car. I still hadn't told them about my joy ride with it to the prison the other night. What he didn’t know, couldn’t hurt him. I had learned that lesson so well recently.
I blasted music the whole ride there, trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing, but as I pulled into the parking lot of the gigantic stadium, I felt so small and insignificant. Levi had made me promise that this wouldn't interfere with his time on the team, whatever this was. And yet here I was crashing his day at the stadium. Maybe I was making a mistake. But I wouldn’t know unless I tried.
As I walked toward the stadium I saw a security guard standing there talking to someone who looked like press. They were showing him a pass and then he let them get by. I hadn't thought about getting in.
“Can I help you, miss?”
I nodded to him, and I figured the truth was better than trying to come up with some sort of lie. I had lied enough, and I didn't need any more secrets. “I'm here to see Levi Jackson. I'm a friend from back home. I know he signed his contract today and I know I don't have tickets or anything to see him, but I just wanted to surprise him. Is that a problem?”
The security guard, an older man in a uniform that maybe had fit him a little bit better when he was younger, smiled at me. “A friend, huh?”
I smiled back at him. “Yes, just a friend.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “If you were just a friend of mine, honey, I would make sure you weren't just a friend. If you go down this hallway, and you make a left to follow that all the wa
y until the end, you get to the locker room. No one else should be down there, so you can wait for him in there. I'll make sure he knows that someone's waiting for him.”
“Thank you!”
I walked on the cement floor and followed the hallway all the way around, but just when I saw the sign for the locker room, on it with an arrow but instead I made a sharp right and walked into the stadium. Levi was standing in the middle on a platform, responding to questions from press. The place was huge. Thousands of red seats sat empty, looking back at me. This was what Levi's dreams had been all about. All that he ever wanted to do was play on a field this big in front of a crowd cheering his name. Now he was finally going to get that opportunity. I slipped back into the hallway before anyone noticed my presence, and I went to the lockers and waited. I sat on the bench for what felt like hours until finally, the door opened and Levi walked in.
“Lila? What are you doing here?” His eyes were wide with surprise. Clearly, the guard hadn’t told him what I looked like.
I stood up and felt my breath catch in my chest. “I didn't mean to break the rule. I don't want this to be over yet. You said three weeks, and I want all of them. Me coming here was the only way to tell you that.”
He shook his head but I could see a smile playing on his lips. “I did say three weeks, didn’t I? I have to tell you, having sex with you makes my game better. I tossed the pigskin around today with some of the other pros and I can hang.” He walked up to me so that our bodies were just barely touching, and he put his finger under my chin and lifted it to his lips. “You relax me.”
“Do I?”
He nodded. “So I guess if this is what's good for my game…”
I reached up and kissed him. “We have to do what's best for your game. It's your career, after all.”
“Wouldn’t want to disappoint the fans,” he said as he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. I felt him slamming into the hard metal lockers. His lips found the side of my neck.
“Of course not. Anything for the fans.”
“I can't believe you came here,” he said as he continued to suck on my skin.
“I wanted more.”
He nodded. “I see that now. Don’t break the rule again.” He began to grind into me, and I could feel his cock growing harder with every thrust. My breath quickened and the heat spread from my sex through my body. I was about to have sex in a pro football locker room. With Levi, all of my inhibitions were abandoned.
“I won’t,” I breathed against his flesh.
His hands began to search my body, but just as he began pulling off my top, the door behind Levi swung open and I watched as an older man in a suit walked into the room.
“I didn't realize anyone was in here.”
Levi immediately set me down and turned around, acknowledging the older man carefully. “I'm sorry sir, I assumed this part of the stadium was empty.”
The man put his hands behind his back. “Well, it wasn't. I suggest you and your little girlfriend take a walk. We’re shutting the place down for the night. Make sure you finish getting all of your paperwork in order. I don't need the international league on my ass about this.”
Levi nodded. “Yes sir, of course.” He grabbed my hand and yanked me behind him, tearing down the concrete hallway into the parking lot.
“Oh my God! I'm so sorry.” This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. I had been so selfish.
He pulled my lips up to his. “Don't be sorry.”
“What was he talking about back there? Your international papers?”
He shook his head. “Don't worry about that now. I'm going to go back in there and do some damage control, so I'll see you later.”
“Our arrangement?” I questioned.
“Is still on.”
He opened my door for me and I slipped in. My legs trembled as the adrenaline that had been rushing through my body slowed down. After he closed the door, he turned on his heel and walked back into the stadium while I just sat in the parking lot, feeling its presence weighing down on me. I had gotten Levi back, this time. For once, my plan had worked.
Nineteen
The next morning, I was feeling overly confident. I hadn’t heard from Levi since the stadium, but I needed to see him. We only had a couple weeks left, and I didn’t want to waste it. Besides, my body still ached from his touch. I had wanted him so badly and he was once again ripped away.
I dialed his number and got his voicemail. I didn’t even say who it was. “If you want to see, come meet me at 424 Richland Ave. I'll be the girl dressed in red. See you at seven.” I ended the call and was amazed by the amount of balls I had just had. The girl in red? Well shit, now I needed to find a red dress. I waited until McKenzie woke up, but as soon as she did, I started rooting through her closet.
“What the hell are you doing in here? It's only like ten AM!”
I smiled over my shoulder. “I need that dress. The red one that you wore to homecoming last year.”
She started to sit up, her blonde hair sticking out in all directions. “The red dress? I don't even know if I packed that. Besides, it's like two sizes too small for you.”
I searched through the closet. Mackenzie certainly had enough clothes that were two sizes too small for her. “That’s rich coming from you.” I pulled out a pair of cut off shorts and threw them at her before diving back in. Finally, I found it at the back of her closet and I pulled it out, putting it across my body.
“See, I told you, your ass is going to hang out of that.”
“That's exactly the point,” I said smugly.
She shook her head.
“Hey, no slut-shaming your sister. I could remind you of the time I walked in on you and Todd; if I remember correctly, that was also in this dress. And those shorts are disgusting.”
“I forgot about Todd,” she said as she pulled the covers back over her head. “Now get out, I need my beauty sleep.”
I shook my head and left the room. I would need to steam the dress before I wore it that night.
Noa called me and invited me out for lunch with her and Clara, but I declined. I knew that they needed a little bit of time to themselves, especially after they hadn't really gotten to spend much time together at the party the other night.
After Eli fell off the roof, people had scattered. A couple headed to another house party, while most went home or to a local bar. Nobody wanted to talk about the guy who had fallen off the roof, or the girl that he was trying to fall on top of. We were old news. I didn't really want to rehash it all with the two of them, as it would just make my great day fall apart. I spent most of the afternoon reading books with the window open and enjoying the fresh summer air.
Mackenzie had finally made a friend and traipsed off with her for some ice cream in the evening. I was amazed that Charity let her drive the Jaguar, but I still hadn't mentioned that I borrowed it. I was trying to keep up the appearance that Mackenzie and I were actually good kids and not total disasters.
Twenty
The next night I stood against a cold stone wall in the slutty red dress and red pumps. I had once again gone for my fuck me red lipstick and I was hoping that it would work for a second time. I checked my phone for the third time. Still no text or call from Levi. It was seven fifteen and I was starting to get worried. I didn't think he was going to show up. I told myself I would wait another five minutes, but as I saw a couple walking by hand-in-hand, discussing the opening of the gallery, I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over to the street to hail a taxi when I heard a voice behind me. “That’s some dress you got there.”
I turned around and felt my confidence waver as I saw Levi smiling at me. He looked me up and down and licked his lips. The slutty dress had totally done its job.
“You know some guys like to leave a little to the imagination.”
I couldn't tell if it was an insult or not.
He moved closer to me and whispered into my ear. “You're just lucky I'm not one of those
guys.” I felt him slip a hand underneath my dress, where he just touched the backs of my thighs, right under my ass. I tried to contain the heat spreading immediately from my pussy into my core. Suddenly, I wanted to skip the art gallery and just go straight back to his apartment, but there was a part of me that also wanted to make him wait. He had been the tease on Saturday night, but now it was my turn.
“Shall we go in?”
He pulled his hand out from underneath my legs and turned, extending an arm to me. I looped mine through his and we walked down the block into the gallery. It was one of those huge white spaces with benches in the middle and artwork around the edges. There was a sculpture between two white benches. I let go of Levi's arm as I examined it closely. It was copper, and it was ripped into shreds and made to look like a three-dimensional symbol of a heart.
“See something you like already?”
“Yeah. It's like the heart is hard, protective somehow.”
Levi moved close to me so that our bodies just barely touched. “And how do you protect your heart, Lila?”
“I run away.”
“How does that protect you?” He slid a finger along the outside of my arm. It was a subtle touch that sent shivers down my spine.
“I don't know. Running away from my problems is just something I'm good at. You know, like you're a great football player. I'm a great runner.”
He just looked at me.
“It's a skill, Levi. Protecting your heart is a skill everyone should learn.”
Suddenly he stepped back. “Why? Why do you think that way? Is that because of me? Because of us?”
“I thought we weren’t going to do feelings, or talk about the past. And no, it’s not you. It’s just that in the end, everyone gets hurt. In the end, we all feel pain.”
“That’s a sad realization.”
I shrugged. “Maybe, but to me it’s true.” Thinking about it, I realized this stemmed from my parents’ relationship. I had thought their love life was perfect, but it ended in heartache. Somewhere, I had decided almost all good relationships did. That was sad.
Over the Line: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 9
