She looked impressed. “Won't you just look fabulous then? Make sure you don't look better than the bride, though.”
I laughed. “No I'm pretty sure she would punch me in the face to make sure that eye matched my dress if I looked better than her. But we’re making progress, even if it's just baby steps.”
Noa grabbed the waitress’s attention and ordered my drink. Then she got a more serious look on her face. “Lila, we need to talk about Eli.”
I was shocked; I hadn't even thought about Eli since I had talked to Levi about his troubles. I'd kind of washed my hands of the situation, but although he wasn't my problem anymore, a piece of me still wanted to know. “What about Eli?”
She set down her drink and sat up a little straighter. “Levi said that he talked to you about it, so I feel like it's okay for me to tell you. Eli is going to be away for a while. Like you probably won't see him anymore while you're here.”
Prison. He had finally done something dumb enough to go to jail for the second time in one summer. “Where is he, Noa?”
She sighed. “He's in rehab, Lila. Apparently his drinking has been getting a lot worse and his parents found out that he hasn't paid the rent on his apartment in like three months. I guess Levi kind of ratted about that. It seemed like he was spending more time gambling and drinking than he was going to work. Turns out he lost his job six weeks ago for being drunk on the job. He's got a problem.”
I sat back in my chair. “I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was that bad.”
“Well, at least now you know that all that gibberish he was talking about wasn't really about you. He's been having problems for a long time, but I don't know what set him off recently for it to become so bad.”
“Beats me. I didn't even know about Megan dying, or how important she was to him. And I mean, I guess these things can get progressively worse.” Honestly, I didn’t know any alcoholics, so I had no idea what it was like to have that disease.
A girl behind us turned around and tapped my shoulder. She was blonde with stunning blue eyes and the perfect dazzling smile. I thought I recognized her from somewhere, but I couldn't place her. “I'm really sorry to interrupt, but were you just talking about Eli Jackson?”
Noa's eyes got wide; clearly, she didn't know that the girl behind me knew our friend. I knew that we couldn't deny it, though. I mean, how many Elis were there? “Yeah, we were. Why?”
“I used to work with Eli. Things got weird at work when he lost a really big client for our accounting firm. The Red Hawks football team? He screwed up in a Monday morning meeting one time and the boss really chewed him out. That's when I noticed he started going to happy hour a little bit earlier than the rest of us. Our job is really stressful, you know? I think it was just too much for him. Glad to hear he’s getting help. I'm Harli, by the way.” She turned around and extended a hand to me. As I shook it, I realized where I knew her from.
“You were at Noa's house the other night. The party. I think I saw you at the bar.”
She smiled again. “Yeah? I didn't realize it was your house. I was invited by a friend.”
Noa waved back at her. “Oh yeah, there's always about twenty people at my parties that I don't know.”
“Well again, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I hope that Eli gets the help he needs. He was always so great to have around the office. It’s been kind of dull since he left. Enjoy your lunch.”
She turned back around to what looked like her book and I looked back at Noa. We both kept the conversation light as we ordered and ate our meals. I asked her about Clara and she said that things were great. It was nice to hear her so happy. Things hadn’t been easy for her overseas.
“How is Levi?”
“Hot.”
“Yeah, I already knew that.”
“We went to an art gallery opening the other night. And then we had our own little party afterward.” I kept the salacious details of the hallway to myself. For now, that was just a moment that Levi and I shared. I wasn't going to divulge all of my secrets.
“Girl, he brings the devil out in you. It didn’t used to be that way. He was the nice brother.”
“Maybe. What of it?”
She reached for her drink. “Just know that when love burns hot like that it burns out quickly.”
I shook my head. “Noa, really… what would you have me do?”
“Nothing. I’m just saying that sometimes you want the slow burn, not the fire.”
The blonde behind us asked for her check and paid and left. After she walked away, Noa leaned forward and lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Did you hear what account he lost?”
“Yeah, the Red Hawks, isn’t that the team that Levi signed with?”
“Yeah, so that can’t be good for the family situation. Also, there’s something else I think you need to know about Levi, and the whole little affair you’ve gotten yourself wrapped up in.”
“What’s that?” I took another sip from my glass. Noa was full of information lately. I wondered what she had on him.
“You know he leaves for training camp in just a couple weeks, right?”
“Yeah, what about it? We’re just having fun, Noa, it’s nothing serious.”
“So then he told you about Japan?”
My drink caught in my throat. “Japan?”
“And let’s be real Lila, with you and Levi, it’s always serious. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’re in deep.”
Wasn’t that the freaking truth. “Tell me about Japan, Noa.”
“He’s going to play ball overseas. The Red Hawks have a team there, some international league. He’s leaving, Lila. For a year at least, probably more.”
Japan. A year. Was that why he was so finite on the deadline of our relationship? I shook my head at her. Levi was still playing the game, and he was winning.
Twenty-Three
I unlocked the door and made my way up to my bedroom but I was surprised to find Mackenzie sleeping in a little ball in my bed.
“Mackenzie, what are you doing in here?”
She turned over and stretched. “I was waiting for you.”
I took off my coat and shoes. “Why?” I had taken a long lunch, but it was just after dinner time, not that late.
“I talked to Mom. She definitely has a boyfriend. She's going to tell you when we get home.”
I sat down on the edge the bed. “Oh.”
She moved over to me and sat cross-legged and so that our bodies were just barely touching. “I wanted to tell you when you got home but I fell asleep. This bed is way better than mine.”
“You want to sleep in here with me tonight? It's a big bed.” Suddenly I felt very alone.
Mackenzie smiled at me. “Well I'm already here. Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I will be. I just need to decide what I’m doing. What I want.”
She stroked the back of my hair. “I think you know what you want.”
I chewed on my lower lip. Yeah, so did I. But if Levi was lying about New York, did he want me?
I hardly slept at all. I tossed and turned as I thought about Eli in rehab and my feelings for Levi. My heart was torn between these men for completely different reasons. By the time I had finally gotten some sleep my alarm went off at nine. Mackenzie was sleeping so soundly next to me, an alarm couldn't even wake her up. I quickly turned it off, grabbed my cell phone, and walked into our bathroom.
I had no idea if Levi truly wanted me. Or if this really just was a fling. Our arrangement had quickly gotten out of control. I held the phone in my hands and touched the gallery button. There, hidden among years of college memories, was a single picture of Levi and me. He had his arm around me and we were both smiling like fools. That was before I broke his heart. Before I slept with his brother. Before I ruined us.
I needed Levi Jackson. I pressed call and waited as it rang.
I took a deep breath waiting for him to answer and it hurt. My heart may be partially broken.
> “Hello?”
My breath caught in my chest. It wasn’t Levi.
It wasn’t fucking Levi.
It was a girl.
Shit.
Twenty-Four
“Okay, girl, so I am trying to understand, but I still don't get it. You are kind of seeing Levi. But as more of a fuck and fly kinda thing. No feelings, right?”
I swirled the ice around in my glass with my straw. The ice was suddenly more interesting than Noa's intense glare. “That’s right.”
“And did you ever agree to be exclusive?”
I dipped my head in shame. “No.”
“I mean he’s some big hot shot football star now, he’s going to have multiple women.”
I stopped stirring and looked directly at her. “I thought I was happy with our situation, Noa. But I'm not. I'm fucking miserable all the damn time. And I know that I made my bed, and I have to lie in it, but I was hoping my best friend would back me up.”
She pulled back, shocked by my reaction. “I always have your back, Lila. But when it comes to those Jackson boys, you lose your head. You guys clearly didn’t set boundaries on this little arrangement you have going.”
We both sat there for a minute in silence. I had called Noa after lying in my bed all day, contemplating my future, or potential not future, with Levi. When the girl answered, I didn’t say anything. I just hung up the phone. And then I called Noa at dinnertime, and told her she needed to meet me at our favorite Chinese restaurant. I was filling my empty heart with carbs, and it felt good. But Noa’s reaction wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought she would totally have my back, and be ready to kill this new tramp just as much as I was, but, instead, she was being all self-righteous. It wasn't something I was used to. I took another bite of my lo mein before she started speaking again.
“What I meant is that if Levi is who you really want, then you've got to fight for him, girl. This other girl would be a dumb ass bitch to give him up that quick.”
I knew she was right, and as much as I didn't want to say that, this girl had some brains. “I know. I can't expect him to just take me back after all these years. And I know the stipulations we set. We never said exclusive. We said no feelings. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill him right now, and her, whoever the hell she is. But I thought we at least would be honest with one another. He didn’t tell me about Japan, or this girl. I just don’t know if I can trust anything he says or does anymore.” I paused, annoyed with my own stupidity. “You are right; I never got over him. He's what I wanted this whole time. He was safe and stable, exactly what I needed when my parents split up, but I felt the need to be rebellious and volatile. I was an idiot.”
She shrugged. “We all were, Lila. It was freshman year. Remember I had just shocked the hell out of everybody and signed up for the military? I had just come out of the closet, your parents got a divorce, and Eli was there. I don't blame you. I mean, we all made mistakes back then.”
I was confused. She had been on a perfect path since high school. Sure, she hadn’t told her parents about liking girls as early as we all thought she would, but it didn't make her a bad person. “What are you talking about?”
She set down her fork, and looked directly into my eyes. “I almost got a dishonorable discharge.”
I was shocked. “What? I mean I knew you were a badass, but nothing like that. You’ve done super well in the military.” She had gone in for medicine, and was now a RN. I had always been impressed by her dedication.
“I was on a base during boot camp, and I met a girl. And let's just say that my peers didn't really take to the fact that I was a lesbian. Neither did my commanding officer. But her name was Jessica, she was gorgeous, and I couldn't keep my hands off of her. It did not help at all that she was the CO’s daughter.” She looked down at her hands.
My mouth dropped open. “You're kidding me.”
She smiled. “You always said that I had good taste. And she was tasty. But it was just a tryst; there were never really any feelings there. She hadn’t even come out. So, when I promised that I wouldn’t put myself or my team in that situation again, and I ran a lot of miles, they let me off the hook. I got transferred, some extra punishments, and never heard from her again. I know we’re allowed to come out in the Army now, but it's still not really accepted. Especially for women. I mean, I hang out with a couple gay guys on my base now, but that's really it. Before Clara came along, I was really on my own.”
“You really care about her, don't you?”
She smiled again, this time much more genuine. “I brought her home to meet my parents, didn’t I?”
“Oh my God! Are you going to propose?”
She laughed. “Not yet! But I don’t know. Maybe when I get out next year. I could definitely see us going down that road.”
“But what if she proposes first?”
She made a face. “She would never consider that. She is a princess, and would love for me to get down on one knee and make a grand gesture.”
I took a sip from my drink before lifting it up to her. “Well, then, cheers to you. For getting over past mistakes.”
She raised her glass. “And for not making new ones.” She winked at me.
I took a long sip from my glass. “So, how do I go about doing that?”
She shook her head. “Girl, if I knew, I'd help you solve all your problems.” She drank from her own glass and finished it.
When she set her glass down, there was recognition on her face. “Oh, I forgot to give you something.” She dug down through her purse before sitting back up. She held a small piece of paper in her hands; it looked business card sized. “I got the number for where Eli is. They said friends can call him now. I thought you would want to know.” She reached across the table, and handed me the card: Green Valley Rehabilitation Facility. It was only a couple hours from here. I touched the raised lettering slightly.
“Thanks.” I tried to not show the emotion in my voice, but Noa knew me better than anyone.
“You should call him, Lila. He knows Levi better than anyone else, and he might be able to help.”
I shook my head. “I don't think that would be a good idea.” I thought back to my conversation with Eli on the roof. I was a big part of why Eli was in there. Noa looked at me empathetically. “But thanks. I’ll think about it.”
Twenty-Five
I lounged on my window seat, paging through a book that I'd been working on for over an hour, when Mackenzie walked in. My brain hadn't taken in a single page. I was too focused on my own issues to get into the drama of the characters, but she didn’t know that. “Whatcha reading?”
She flopped down on my bed, her blonde hair splayed out on all sides. She was in sweats today, and looked pretty relaxed, considering the rehearsal dinner was tomorrow. I thought the impending wedding would put her little bit more on edge, but since our morning with Charity at the bridal salon, Mackenzie had really seemed to warm up to her. It was weird.
“Nothing important.” I shut the book.
“What are you up to today? Anything good?”
“Not really. I was just hanging around.”
I could sense she came in for more than the fact that she was just bored. “What do you need, Mackenzie?”
She turned on her side to look at me. “I want to know what happened with Levi.”
“I honestly have no idea what is happening with Levi.” I shook my head.
She made a face. “Why don’t you ask Levi to go to the wedding? I mean, he knows all the family.”
It was true; this kid paid attention more than I gave her credit for. “Okay, Kenz. Spit it out. Why are you really here?”
She sat up and licked her lips. “I'm here because I know you still have feelings for Levi. And now, I think you should fight like hell to get him back.”
I was starting to put the puzzle pieces together. Mackenzie wasn’t just laying around today. The girl never wore sweats like this unless she was working out; she had b
een out on a run. “Where did you see them together?”
She rolled her eyes. “A little coffee shop down on the corner. Their coffee sucks by the way, don't go there. But, anyway, they were sitting outside together, and she was all over him. It was gross. Even when you two were like really going at it, you weren't like that. She was just, I don't know, immature. Self-conscious or something, like she doesn’t trust him.”
I knew exactly what that looked like. I'd seen college friends of mine do it a million times. They were the ones who were worried their boyfriends were cheating on them. Not that Levi was cheating, unless he hadn’t told this girl about his nonexclusive rule. “So, what do you think I should do?” Asking my kid sister for advice, I was at an all time low.
I was ready for her to tell me to initiate some type of major smack down, which was Mackenzie’s style. What she said shocked me. “Yes, you have to fight for him, but in a subtle way. Because if she gets more jealous, she’ll just latch on harder, and you won't get your chance. You have to take your time, and think about it. You have to let him know that you're really serious.”
Was I really serious? I looked at my phone that was sitting next to me in a perfect ray of sunlight coming through the windows. No missed calls or text messages. I realized I had to call him. I had to clear my mind.
“Thanks for the advice, Kenz. Now get lost.” I shook my phone at her.
She shot me one of her dazzling smiles before bouncing out the door. I held the phone in my hand, and took a deep breath. I stood and crossed my room to my desk, where I set the book down. I reached into my purse, and pulled out the business card Noa had given me.
I wasn't going to call Levi, not before I talked to Eli.
I dialed the number, and the phone rang a few times before a receptionist answered. “Green Valley Rehabilitation Hospital, how may I direct your call?”
I took a deep breath. “I'd like to talk to a patient, please.”
“And which one is that?”
“Eli Jackson. My name is Lila.”
Over the Line: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 11
