by Taylor Dean
“But I didn’t realize they wanted me to be a spy. I would never do that.”
“I’d like to think you would’ve realized what is happening by this point, but many don’t. A polygraph session would come next in the application process. Would you be prepared to let it seal your fate? I don’t think it would prove your innocence.”
“Polygraph? Why would I have to do that?” Hunter blurts, a vein in his neck protruding angrily.
“It’s routine.” Frustrated, Julian shakes his head. “Hunter, you’re not listening to me. Does any of this not sound suspicious to you?”
A moan escapes from Hunter, indicating he can finally see the logic in Julian’s words.
“By the way, if you haven’t already figured it out, Suyin’s boss works for the Chinese government and does not own a publishing company. If, by some weird twist of fate, you made it into the CIA, you’d owe him. After all, he practically got the job for you. Believe me, you’d be hearing from him . . . and often. He’d begin to pressure you into giving him the information he wants.”
“But I wouldn’t give him anything,” Hunter hollers.
“Maybe not, but you’d do it for Suyin, wouldn’t you?”
“Keep your voice down,” Jason tells Hunter, glancing at the door nervously.
Hunter jumps to his feet, quickly putting two and two together. “Wait, is Suyin in danger?”
Julian is relentless at trying to impress the truth upon him. Hunter is resistant and I realize Julian’s methods are necessary. “They’ll make you think she is. And you’ll do whatever they ask.”
“I have to get to her. She needs my help. What if they hurt her?”
Hunter can’t see the truth. Or maybe he can, but doesn’t want to face it.
Julian places his hands on Hunter’s shoulders. “My friend, she is one of them.”
“What?” Hunter breathes.
“To put it bluntly, it’s her job to seduce you and recruit you.”
“No, that can’t be right.”
Tense silence fills the room and no one says a word. I feel for Hunter and wish I’d seen through what was happening to him. But I had no clue. Thank goodness for Julian. My eyes are drawn to him as he commands attention in the room. My heart swells a little, knowing he’s my man. I finally got it right and I know it. He’s amazing.
“What do I do?” Hunter asks, collapsing onto the chair once again.
It’s tough to hear him sound so defeated. His enthusiasm for life—his exuberance—is gone, erased as if that side of him no longer exists. He’s made the transition from a kid to a man during his time in China and he’ll never be the same.
“There’s only one way to know the truth.”
“What is it?”
“Break up with her,” Julian tells him. “Do not, I repeat, do not let her know you’re on to her. It targets you as a liability and, frankly, I don’t know what they’d do to you. Just tell her you don’t want to work for the CIA. If she can accept you just the way you are, then let her know you’re willing to continue the relationship.”
“But . . . what if you’re wrong?”
“I don’t think I am, but if I’m wrong, she’ll still be there for you no matter what you choose to do.”
“And if you’re right?”
“Suyin will disappear and you won’t be able to find her. More than likely, you will never see her again. End of story.”
“No, that won’t happen. It won’t,” Hunter repeats firmly. “I know it won’t.”
I know he’s trying to convince himself and my heart breaks for him.
Julian runs his hands through his hair as if he’s all at once incredibly weary. “Right now everything that has been done is very subtle on their part. They haven’t hurt you or coerced you in any way. That’s the beauty of it. Everything feels like it’s been your choice.”
“Everything has been my choice. That’s why it doesn’t make any sense.”
“I can’t prove a thing,” Julian says. “But I can guarantee you are being recruited. Keep in mind, all countries recruit spies, to include the United States. It doesn’t make China bad or evil, it’s just international politics.”
“But if they succeeded, they would’ve been forcing me to spy for them.”
Julian nods. “Eventually, yes.”
“It would’ve been blackmail.”
“In essence,” Julian agrees.
The room falls silent, everyone absorbed in their own thoughts.
Then Julian tells the room at large, “Remember, don’t mention this to anyone. Just pretend like you have no idea what went on.” Then to Lori, he says, “Don’t tell the school, and don’t tell the Native Coordinators. It won’t turn out well. Trust me on this.”
Looking pale, Lori simply nods. We’re all far out of our element and completely unprepared for this type of intrigue.
“I’ll tell Mr. Tang your group was having some issues getting along and needed an intervention. That’ll explain our time in this room. If asked, that’s all you need to say. Don’t say anything more. Understood?”
We all nod as if we don’t know how to speak.
“What will they do to me when I break up with Suyin?” Hunter asks, reality finally seeping in.
“If they think you know nothing, they’ll do nothing. They will have failed to recruit you and they’ll move on to their next target.”
Stacy’s eyes are wide and she starts to cry. Julian gives her a quick, comforting hug. I should feel jealous, but I don’t. Instead I’m grateful to have a man like Julian in my life.
Lori bites her lip and asks, “What do we do now?”
“Act like everything is normal and go back to being the happy bunch of innocent Americans I know and love,” Julian answers. “You’re here to kindly teach English to the children of China and that’s all.”
“We can do that,” Jason says, hugging Lori as if someone is trying to take her away.
As we all quietly look upon each other with serious eyes, I know a new bond has developed between us. We’re in this together.
To the group, Julian says, “Walk Hunter home. Don’t let him do anything by himself or go anywhere by himself.” Then to Hunter he says, “Let Suyin know something came up and you can’t make the trip to Beijing. Wait until tomorrow to talk to her and explain everything, after you’ve had a good night’s sleep and can think clearly. Then we sit back and wait to see what happens. We’ll deal with the repercussions, if any, after that.”
Hunter hangs his head and says nothing.
Dakota helps Hunter to his feet and wraps an arm around him as they head for the door. Stacy takes the position on his other side, also wrapping one arm around him. Jason and Lori follow.
I face Julian, unsure if I should leave with the group or not.
“Stay with me?” he asks, solving the problem.
My innate response is to look down at the ground. I curse my shyness and look him in the eyes. “With you? Yes.” Absolutely.
His eyes glitter and I know I have lost my heart.
Chapter Twenty
October
JULIAN AND I watch the somber group walk home until they’re out of sight. As long as we’re in China, they’re my family. And even though we’re slightly dysfunctional, I’ve grown to love them. Even Stacy.
Julian pulls me close. “He’ll be okay. It’s not easy to get over a love affair gone wrong, but he could’ve been dealing with much more serious issues in the very near future.”
I’m extremely impressed with the way Julian handled the situation this evening. “Thank you for helping him. I had no idea, nor did I even suspect foul play.”
“There’s still a slight possibility I’m wrong, but I don’t think so.”
“How did you know?”
“I’ve heard of it happening here and there. Once someone starts talking about joining the CIA, it becomes obvious.”
“Poor Hunter.” I can’t help feeling as though I should’ve caught on. Julian’s ri
ght. Everything has been done with subtle expertise. They’d approached Hunter with logic and common sense. If Julian hadn’t caught on, would it have been during Hunter’s job interview that he finally saw the light of day? By then it would perhaps be too late and no one would’ve believed his innocence.
Julian kisses my forehead again, and I adore being loved by him. “Let’s go up to my place,” he whispers.
“For board games?”
He chuckles. “Let me re-word that. Would you like to come up to my apartment to sit on the couch together and talk, and maybe share a few kisses and that’s all, I promise?”
“Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you for clarifying the situation.”
When we enter his apartment, Julian asks, “Would you like a soda?”
“Sure.” I note how comfortable I feel with Julian and like the sensation. I trust him and know there are no ulterior motives I’m blindly missing.
We settle onto the couch with our drinks, sitting sideways so we can face each other. I decide to change the subject so the dark feelings hovering over us from the exchange with Hunter will dissipate. “Won’t the restaurant be wondering where you disappeared to this evening?”
He shrugs. “I take over for Mr. Tang when he has to leave and he takes over for me. Besides, I don’t do much else but give my life to the restaurant. I think I’m allowed some time off.”
“Tell me something. How did you come up with the idea to have all of the cooks put on a show for the customers?”
“Actually, it was what the cooks did in the kitchen all the time just to entertain themselves. When I saw it in action, I told Mr. Tang we needed to open up the kitchen and let the customers view it firsthand. They don’t practice and it’s not choreographed. It’s just what they do.”
“Do they ever drop things?”
“Oh yeah. And it’s not pretty.”
“Do you want to be a chef for the rest of your life?”
“Before I came to China, I worked for two years as an accountant and hated every minute of it. So the answer is yes.”
“You, an accountant? I can’t picture you at a desk job.”
“Funny, neither could I.”
“I can’t even picture you in a suit.”
He shivers. “They make me itch.”
I snicker in a most unladylike fashion. Julian’s humor makes me laugh and I love it. He makes me feel carefree. I sip my soda and place it on the coffee table. “I don’t think Stacy will ever speak to me. She knows there’s something between us.”
“Yep, she’ll probably never invite you to her birthday party either.”
I giggle, wondering if I’ll ever be able to keep a straight face while talking with Julian. Life is never boring with him. “No, I suppose not.”
He sobers. “Is there . . . something between us?”
After last night’s kisses, I assumed we were official. “Do you want there to be something between us?”
“Are we speaking in riddles?” he asks.
“A little bit. I guess I kinda thought we’d established this last night.” Clearly, he’s still a little unsure about where we stand.
He swirls the soda in his glass. “Let’s lay it on the line.”
“Okay.” My stomach tightens with trepidation.
He sets his glass down. “I’ve liked you from the moment I met you. You were so quiet, yet I could physically feel your presence, like there was a force in the room pulling me towards you. That’s never happened to me before.”
Touched, I don’t know what to say. Instead, I swallow and it turns into a gulp.
His eyes bore into mine as he says, “My answer is a big, fat, huge yes. I want there to be something between us.”
With those words, I feel light and happy. “There already is,” I tell him. “You’re right, it was there the moment we met. That being said, my answer is a massive, immense, and colossal yes.”
His arm lines the back of the couch. Tentatively, his hand reaches up and he slips his fingers through my hair. I love his touch. I could easily drift off to sleep while his fingers run through my hair. It’s utterly relaxing.
“Hey, your yes is better than my yes,” he says softly with a teasing smile. “I’m not okay with that.” He twirls a strand of my hair around his index finger.
“And yet they both mean the same thing.” I can’t help but whisper.
“So . . . I guess that makes you my . . . significant other?” he offers with a raise of his eyebrows.
While the underlying meaning is serious, I also know the moment has turned light because of the twinkle in his eye. Julian can’t help resorting to his light-hearted nature.
My lips curve. “Yep. I think this officially makes us sweethearts.”
A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as well. “So let me get this straight, just to clarify so there won’t be any confusion on the matter, you’re the . . . object of my affection?” A mischievous expression crosses his features.
That, I want to be. I join in his wordplay. “That’s me. And you’re my . . . other half.” He really is. I’ve never felt whole until he entered my life. “That clear enough for ya?”
“I think I’ve almost got it. I just need you to spell it out for me one more time. You’re my . . . one and only? My numero uno, my honeybunch, my main squeeze, my baby doll, the light of my life, the apple of my eye, my heart’s desire . . .”
Laughing, I reach out and cover his mouth with my hand, muffling his words. “That’s how Jason and Lori got started. Stop it right now, you’re scaring me.”
I can feel the touch of his smile on my palm. My hand slowly leaves his mouth and travels to his cheek, then slips down to his neck. He grabs my hand and moves it to his chest, where his heart beats at a rapid pace.
We share a small smile. My heart matches his crazy rhythm.
“If I take the afternoon off tomorrow, can you spend it with me?” he asks.
“Yes.” No hesitation whatsoever. Done deal.
“C’mere,” he says.
I scoot closer. Julian wraps his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder. He breathes in and out deeply.
Where our relationship is headed, I have no idea. But it’s enough for right now. It’s time to leave it at that and enjoy his company. Of one thing I’m positive. We’ve just committed ourselves to one another on an exclusive basis. Leave it to Julian to make the moment comedic. Yet again, I’m thankful for his humorous approach to life.
I lift my head and force myself to look into his blue eyes. It’s the depth of emotion in his eyes that scares me, I realize. Julian’s emotions are blatant in his eyes. Maybe that’s why I have a hard time looking into them. He feels something for me and it’s communicated in his gaze, and has been all along. I’ve shied away from it.
But not now. Never again.
Our smiles die and any trace of humor leaves as Julian reaches up and traces his fingers over one cheek and then the other. He travels over my chin and then down to my neck, his touch feather light. Then one finger wanders over my bottom lip, back and forth a few times. Using both hands, he cradles my face and leans forward, pressing his lips to mine. He isn’t in a hurry. He tastes and teases with soft constant motions. He knows how to kiss a girl, not too light, but not too hard either. He knows how to evoke pleasure with the lightest of touch and the simplest of movements. It isn’t just a kiss, it’s an experience, a coming together of two people, and I feel his soul with every stroke of his lips. His restraint leaves me breathless as he savors every touch.
“So . . . you’re my girl?” he whispers in between kisses.
Out of all the “relationship” names he’d called me, that one is my favorite. I like being Julian’s girl.
“NO WORD?” JULIAN asks Hunter.
Hunter shakes his head morosely. “None.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You saved me.”
Today Hunter has adopted an “I don’t care” attitude, even though we all know he
does care. A lot.
“She won’t return my calls. The last time I tried, I got some weird message in Chinese. I asked Luli what it said. Guess what? Her phone has been disconnected.” He shrugs. “I know it’s over.” His voice cracks on the last word.
In an attempt to cheer him up, we spend the next half hour shooting the breeze. It doesn’t work, but we try anyway. Then Julian and I set off on our date.
Hand in hand, we walk through the streets of Zhongshan.
“Dakota is watching over Hunter for the afternoon. None of us want to leave him alone for too long. Not that he’s acting as though he’d do something desperate, but we want to make sure he’s okay.”
“I think that’s wise,” Julian remarks. “He’s putting on a brave face, but I know he’s hurting.”
“He is, and I feel for him. So, where are we going?” Today is all about me and Julian—and my hand in his feels so good, I plan on holding it at every opportunity.
“I’m going to reveal the best kept secret in China.”
“What might that be?”
“If you want good food, you don’t go to the expensive places. You find the Mom and Pop hole-in-the-wall. The sketchier, the better.”
“Sketchy?” The thought alone makes my stomach hurt.
“That’s how you find the most amazing food you’ve ever had in your life.”
And the most amazing food poisoning you’ve ever experienced in your life. I keep that thought to myself. Instead I say, “Actually, we used to go to this Mexican restaurant that was really a truck stop type place. It was run down; the paint was peeling and weeds covered the landscape. The owners didn’t even speak English. But they had the best food in town.” It had been my dad’s favorite restaurant. I miss him so much.
“Exactly. I love giving those places a try. The one I’m taking you to today is tried and true, and one of my favorite places.”
My trepidation decreases a little. Just a little though.
When we stop in front of a small building with no windows and no sign, he says, “This is it.”
“Are you sure?”
“They don’t advertise. They don’t need to.”
