“Ugh,” I managed.
“I hope you’re referring to something other than these cookies, because they are clearly delicious.”
“Fox knew about Chase and the redhead. Like, he knew before I did.”
“Uh oh,” Heather muttered. She reached for the wine bottle and poured a glass. “You sure you don’t want some?”
“While day-drinking is always an attractive solution, I think this is bigger than that, unfortunately.” I set my cookie down. “Maybe if you had mimosas.”
She started to get up and I laughed.
“Okay, what exactly did he say? He said he knew about Chase’s cheating and didn’t tell you?”
“No,” I admitted. “He said he'd had suspicions but didn’t want to tell me because it would be biased coming from him based on his feelings for me.”
Heather stared at me. “He said that? His feelings for you?”
I grinned in spite of myself before quickly remembering I was angry. “Yes.”
“And the problem is what?”
“What do you mean? He knew that Chase was fooling around on me and didn’t say anything! Clearly that is the problem!”
“Avery, listen to yourself. You could give two shits about Chase’s lying ass. Yeah, sure, it stung a little and caught you off guard. But the real thing that’s hurting your feelings is the fact that Fox might’ve lied to you, not Chase.”
“So?” I said irritably.
“So get some perspective! You said yourself that Fox essentially overthinks everything he says and does, right?”
“Yeah,” I admitted.
“Don’t you think he’d have a very good reason for not voicing theories that weren’t confirmed? Like the fact that he wouldn’t want to upset you unnecessarily? Or influence any of your decisions with his own agenda?” she pressed.
“You think he had an agenda?” I asked hopefully.
Heather threw the wine cork at me and rolled her eyes. “You’re so clueless.”
I tossed the cork back at her. “What?”
“Avery, that boy had a plan from the minute he laid eyes on you. He waited patiently until you’d gotten Chase and whatever half-hearted second chance you were attempting out of your system, which must’ve been as excruciating for him as it was for me.”
“Point taken, Heather,” I muttered. I waved my hand dismissively. “Back to Fox.”
“Are you honestly upset about Chase cheating?” she asked me.
I thought about it for a second even though I already knew my answer. “No. It was shitty but probably inevitable. I got caught up in the nostalgia for a while, but I don’t think my heart was in it from the beginning. I’m actually sort of relieved that we’ve had a definitive ending.”
“Agreed. Are you really mad at Fox for keeping his suspicions to himself? Maybe he didn’t think it was necessary to hurt your feelings since you’d already broken things off with Chase. Ever consider that?”
I paused. Shit. “You’re probably right.”
“Of course I am. Cut the guy some slack.” She pushed the cookie plate toward me. “If you’re gonna make me drink alone, at least eat the rest of these.”
Chapter 17
I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner when I heard a car pull up outside my house. I’d spent the majority of the afternoon after I picked up Annabelle in a total funk, and even homemade pizza didn’t help. Waiting tables and running around after a three year old were my main forms of exercise, but if I was going to keep indulging in comfort food, I’d probably have to consider actually working out. Maybe Fox would let me tag along on his runs. The thought of Fox and the look on his face when I'd walked out of the diner made me wish I still had ice cream in the freezer.
I heard the mystery car shut its engine off, but when I glanced outside I only saw a large truck I didn’t recognize. Must be someone for the neighbors.
Before I could walk into the living room and join Annabelle as she worked on her princess puzzle, the doorbell rang.
“Mama, who’s here?” she asked excitedly. “Is it Fox?”
I wish. “No, baby,” I told her.
“It might be!” she insisted.
“No, Annabelle, it’s not–” I broke off when I opened the door and saw Fox standing on the porch. “Fox,” I finished lamely.
“FOX!” Annabelle cried, jumping up and running to the door. She threw her arms around his legs. “I missed you.”
Me too, kid, I thought.
Fox reached for Annabelle and swung her into his arms. “Hey Bells. What’s new?”
“I got a puzzle!” she told him. “Do you want to see?”
“Absolutely,” he said, setting her down. “I just need to talk to your mama for a second, okay?”
“Okay!” She ran back into the living room.
“Hello, Avery,” Fox said in his deep, perfect voice. “I’m sorry to just drop by like this.” His words were oddly stiff and formal, and I hated that.
“Stop,” I said.
When you told Fox to stop, he practically ceased breathing. The man had stillness down to an art form. He stood there, watching me, waiting for whatever I’d say next.
“I’m sorry,” I began.
“No, I’m the–”
“Stop,” I said again. A faint version of his quirky half smile appeared on his lips. “I’m sorry that I lashed out at you earlier,” I continued. “I was just caught off guard with the idea that you’d known.”
“I didn’t know, Avery, honestly,” he said. “We went out for beers one night after my shift, and he said a few things that got me thinking.”
He reached for my hand and I let him pull me closer. His warmth was calling to me, and I decided not to fight it. I wrapped my arms around his waist and tipped my head back to look into his eyes. “I believe you.”
“I would never lie to you.” His face was so serious, his green eyes staring intently into mine, his hair loose and falling down around his forehead. I felt his heart beating where our chests were pressed together and knew without a doubt that he was sincere.
“I know that too.”
“Fox!” Annabelle called from the living room. “Are you ready for puzzles?”
Fox laughed, releasing his grip on me only slightly. “Just a minute, sweetheart. I need to show Mama something. Want to come outside with us?”
I looked up at him questioningly. “Show me what?” I could think of a few things I’d like him to show me, actually, but none of that was appropriate at the current moment.
Fox stepped back, taking my hand in his and opening the door. “Outside please.”
I let him lead me out onto the porch, Annabelle at our heels, and when he stopped there, I wasn’t sure what was happening. I looked around but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary – cars on the street, kids playing in the yard next door, a telephone book on the stoop where whoever delivered it must’ve left it… Who still used telephone books these days anyway? I had my new-to-me laptop and I was never going back.
“What am I looking at?” I asked.
He pulled me down the steps to the truck parked directly in front of the house. It was then I realized I hadn’t heard the motorcycle pull up when he arrived. Whose truck was this?
“The other night in the storm made me think,” he began. “After I hung up with your dad I tried your cell phone but service was spotty. I needed a way to get out to the ranch, and I could’ve jumped on the bike, but motorcycles and rain don’t mix very well, and they are especially useless when it comes to transporting children.”
“Okay…” I said, the light beginning to dawn.
“Luckily, your dad left the SUV at the diner, but I didn’t like that feeling.”
“What feeling, exactly?” I knew, but I wanted him to say it.
“I didn’t want anything to stand in the way of me getting to you and Annabelle again. So the next day I bought this.” He pointed to the truck.
“You bought a new truck,” I said, shaking my head. “
You’re nuts. You bought a new truck just in case you had to drive me and Annabelle around?”
“No,” Fox said, opening the passenger door. “I bought a new truck because I plan on driving you both frequently. Get in.”
I was still shaking my head as I hopped up into the cab and Fox lifted Annabelle in behind me. The crew cab had four full doors and a million buttons on the dashboard, along with what looked to be a top-of-the-line stereo system and, best of all, the new car smell. I breathed in deeply while Annabelle scrambled over my lap.
“Look Mama, a seat for me!” She turned around and pointed into the large backseat where a brand-new car seat was already installed.
I followed her finger to the new, top-of-the-line seat and tears sprang into my eyes. This was too much, this couldn’t be happening. We hadn’t even been out on a real date yet, but he bought a truck and put a car seat in the back for my kid?
A gentle hand turned my face in Fox’s direction, and I saw his eyes narrow worriedly when he saw the expression on my face. “Avery? Did I get the wrong one? The store said I could return it, no problem. Just tell me which one to buy.”
“No,” I choked out.
“No, it’s okay? Or take it back?”
“No. Just no. This is too much, Fox.” I squeezed around Annabelle and jumped out of the truck, reaching back to lift her out after my feet hit the sidewalk.
“Wait, what? What do you mean? I thought you’d be happy about this.”
I couldn’t look at him right then, so I watched Annabelle as she scampered back up the porch and into the house.
“Avery? Say something, please. I thought we were okay.”
“What are you doing?” I blurted. “Why are you doing all of this?”
Fox shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the truck. “I’m trying to be a part of your lives.”
I’m not sure what I’d expected him to say but, like usual, it wasn’t that. I looked up at him, silhouetted in the dusk, all handsome and strong and sometimes not so mysterious, and my heart stuttered a little. “This is more than a grand gesture, Fox.”
He pulled one hand free and reached toward me. “It’s just a truck. I needed something other than the bike. And you like it. I can tell.” He slid his fingers up my bare arm to my shoulder and I stepped toward him automatically.
“I do,” I admitted.
“So can I keep it?” His dimple popped and I immediately felt silly. Why was I freaking out because he bought a truck and put in a car seat? The same reason you almost bolted when he offered to help with your groceries, crazy girl. God forbid anyone wants to get close to “Most Organized.”
“That depends,” I said. “Did you buy it from Chase?”
Fox laughed, his full deep chuckle, and I relaxed the rest of the way. “No… They didn’t have what I was looking for.”
“Then it’s fine.” He pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. This afternoon without him had given me a lot of time to think. It had only been a few hours, but I missed him like something essential, like breathing. I knew then that I couldn’t truly doubt his intentions. Fox was always here for me, for us. He’d never once let me down. I couldn’t imagine he ever would.
As if he could read my thoughts, Fox spoke again. “You don’t have to pave the way, Avery. But at least let me follow the map, okay?”
I nodded, stretching up onto my tiptoes to kiss him quickly on the mouth. “A new truck. My dad must be paying you too much,” I joked, but I was half serious. I knew his mom was successful, but something told me that Fox didn’t necessarily need the cook’s job to keep himself in computers and trucks. It was none of my business, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t curious.
“C’mon,” he said, pulling me up the sidewalk toward the house. “Let’s do some puzzles and then we’ll go for a drive.”
* * *
Once we’d finally established that we both had feelings for each other, things progressed rapidly. Fox and I went on a handful of dates. Some were with Annabelle and some were not, and I enjoyed them all equally.
The ones with Annabelle were full of laughter and silliness, full of daydreams where I briefly let myself pretend that he was her real daddy and, unfortunately, full of moments when I remembered he was not. Annabelle loved spending time with Fox, and his patience for her was infinite, which was more than I could say for myself at times after a full diner shift and tons of homework.
The dates without Annabelle were exercises in my willpower, because at the end of the evening when Fox walked me to my door and kissed me goodbye, it took every ounce of restraint I possessed not to jump into his arms and request that he carry me directly to bed.
I was currently fighting that exact impulse as we said goodnight after a delicious dinner at a tiny Thai restaurant in Midland. I’d never had Thai food before, and Fox insisted that I start to try other cuisines to prepare me for when Annabelle and I went to New York. You could get anything you wanted there, he said, at any time of the day or night. I considered myself slightly more worldly than the average small-town girl, given the amount of reading I did, but it blew my mind to think that you could get takeout at four a.m. from a variety of restaurants, delivered right to your door. I’d definitely have to take advantage of that during my marathon study sessions. Part of me wondered if Fox fit into that New York scenario anywhere, or if he would want to, but I thought it was too soon to seriously consider.
“Thank you again for dinner,” I said, kissing him softly. We were standing on my porch saying the longest goodbye, because between every few words he pulled me into his arms for another kiss.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He slid a finger down my cheek.
“More than I thought I would,” I laughed.
His dimple peeked out. “You were very adventurous. Not everyone tries the extra hot curry on the first visit.”
“Yeah, that was probably not the best idea I’ve ever had,” I admitted wryly, remembering the mouth-searing burn.
“I have to go,” he said suddenly.
I was taken aback by his abrupt statement. “Um, okay. Well, goodnight. Thanks again.” I turned to unlock the front door. I’d be home alone tonight, as Annabelle was with my parents at the ranch again. She had a new love of these sleepovers and I was indulging her since it meant a little private time with Fox.
“Avery, wait.” He spun me around and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Fox, I’m confused,” I started, but he silenced me with another kiss.
“I have to go because I want to come in, very badly, and when you ask me this time I don’t think I’ll be able to say no.”
“So say yes.”
He’d been turning down my invitations to come in after our last couple dates and I knew why. It was getting harder and harder to keep our hands off each other, and the next step in our relationship was looming right before us. Part of me felt insecure about it, wondering if he really felt the way he said he did or if things were getting to be too serious for him. Our relationship was new but we had an easy rapport, which meant hours of conversation about everything and anything.
“I sent you something. Watch it.” He kissed my forehead and was gone.
I was still a little stung by his rejection, but the promise of a new video soothed me slightly. Fox hadn’t sent me anything lately aside from a couple funny clips of him and Annabelle goofing around. I loved those because it showed how much he let himself go when he played with her, how much he meant to my little girl, how easily and happily she interacted with him. I had a feeling this one was going to be different.
Settling on the couch with my laptop, I logged in and found the clip. The email was titled simply “Avery.” I pressed play and the screen widened to show a cloudy night sky. Only a few stars were visible, and the moon peeked out briefly, shining down onto what I recognized as my parents’ front pasture, which was visible from the ranch house’s porch. This was from the night of the storm. I watched as the scen
e faded to a glowing fireplace, the dogs enjoying the heat. A song started to play in the background, faint, but I thought it was Brad Paisley. The fire faded and the camera focused to a full frontal of Duke’s sleek black head, lying with his nose between his paws. I’d never seen a dog’s eyes hold as much warmth, wisdom, and sadness as I did in that shot, but the very best part was in the background, out of focus but very recognizable, was Annabelle’s little face, her blond curls tousled as she rested her cheek on Duke’s fur.
Annabelle and Duke faded out, and the camera took on a grainy quality as it zeroed in on two intertwined hands, one of mine and one of Fox’s. The music swelled slightly and I realized it was Brad Paisley, singing about a girl who was his everything. I watched, mesmerized, as Fox’s thumb smoothed its way over my skin, tracing the veins of my wrist as he held me close to his chest. Even though only our fingers and a bit of my shirt were visible, I could feel in that moment exactly what it was like to be in his arms. I wanted to be there right now. The camera panned back to another night sky view outside the window and, through a trick of the glass, the fire and the barest hint of our silhouettes were reflected, bringing everything together before fading to black.
I sat for a moment, thinking of a hundred reasons why I should stay put and a million more why I shouldn’t, before jumping up and practically running out of the house.
* * *
“You should’ve called. I would’ve come to you,” Fox said when he opened the door.
“You should’ve known I couldn’t wait.” I didn’t hesitate, I just stepped forward and he caught me. His mouth descended onto mine, and somewhere in the fog of what I would always consider our first real kiss, he kicked the door shut and we crashed back against it.
Instinctively, I rose onto my toes, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck and running my fingers through his mane of hair. He took his hands off the door, dragging them down my sides, over my hips, until he reached the backs of my bare thighs under my skirt. My breath caught when he lifted me easily, our eyes locked on each other, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed me even more tightly against the door. His mouth roamed up under my chin, moving along my jaw with wet, hot kisses.
Hey Sunshine Page 19
