by Annie Groves
‘Oh, Eddie …’ Molly protested, but it was a very half-hearted protest, and when he started to kiss her she didn’t even try to resist.
When he finally stopped they were both breathing heavily, and Molly’s cheeks were flushed a deep shade of pink.
‘I’ve got to go and get changed out of my uniform, remember,’ she told him, pulling herself free of his arms and laughing as he refused to let go of her hand.
‘You look beautiful to me whatever you wear,’ he told her thickly.
‘Wait here,’ she said, showing him into the back parlour and then hurrying upstairs. In her bedroom she took off her uniform and her blouse, rushed into the cold bathroom in her slip and stockings, to wash quickly and clean her teeth, before scurrying back over the cold linoleum to her bedroom.
She was just about to put on her sweater when the bedroom door opened and Eddie came in.
Her eyes widening with shock, Molly let the sweater drop onto the bed, pressing her hand flat to the creamy skin of her chest as though to suppress the fierce uneven thudding of her heart.
‘Molly.’
She trembled at the urgency in Eddie’s voice, shaking her head in denial, but it was too late. He was holding her and kissing her, pressing frantic little kisses all over her face and then her throat, whilst he whispered to her how much he loved her.
‘Eddie, we mustn’t,’ she warned him breathlessly, but he didn’t seem to hear her as his hands stroked her bare arms, their male touch making her quiver with sweet pleasure. He kissed her mouth, sliding the straps of her slip and brassiere off her shoulders. She felt him shudder as he pressed his hot forehead against the coolness of her cheek, his hand trembling as he touched her breast.
‘I want you so much …’
‘We mustn’t …’ But her head still fell back against his arm when he kissed the side of her neck, his hand a hot exciting pressure against her slip-covered breast.
‘Sweet Molly! Let me love you … let me show you …’
Molly shuddered, her belly turning somersaults in response to the desire in his voice.
‘I’ve been thinking about this for so long … wantin’ you for so long … I love you, Molly.’ His voice cracked with emotion.
‘And I love you too. But we mustn’t, Eddie,’ she told him frantically.
Eddie ignored her words, kissing her fiercely instead. Helplessly, Molly let him, her own body gripped by the same hunger as his. How could it be wrong for them to be together when they loved one another?
But it was wrong, she reminded herself.
‘No, we mustn’t,’ she repeated, pulling away from him. ‘There’s bin enough talk already shaming me dad and our June, and if anything were to happen …’
The fear in her voice checked Eddie and made him frown. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to upset yer, Molly. I just got carried away, what wi’ wantin’ yer so badly an’ all.’
‘You must go downstairs, before me dad gets back.’ She was trembling slightly, her normal exuberance dimmed, and there was a shamed, unhappy, confused look in her eyes that made him ache with guilt.
‘If anyone knew about this, they’d say that it was my fault and they’d be right,’ she told him miserably.
‘Don’t talk so daft. How could it be your fault? It’s me as is to blame.’ He could see that she was close to tears. ‘Eeh, lass, I never meant to upset yer – that’s the last thing I want to do,’ he told her.
Molly took a deep breath and shook her head. ‘I’m not upset, Eddie, not really, and I … and I … I feel the same way you do,’ she admitted bravely, ‘but I’ve caused me family enough upset. I’m not blaming you, but—’
‘Well, you should be,’ Eddie stopped her, ‘because it’s me wot is to blame. I should be protecting yer, Molly, not …’ He stopped speaking to swallow against the emotion gripping his chest when she looked up at him, her eyes filled with such a look of love and trust that he had to ball his hands into fists to stop himself from reaching out for her.
‘I’ll go downstairs and wait for yer there,’ he told her thickly.
Her hands were trembling so much she could hardly pull on her sweater. If she hadn’t sent Eddie away, right now they could have been … A wave of hot sweetness stole away her breath. Oh, but what she was thinking was so very wrong. Everyone knew that and everyone knew too what happened to the girls who broke the rules and let lads have their way with them outside of marriage. Shamed, they were, and their families too. But whilst her conscience might know that, her body still ached longingly for Eddie. All those lonely nights when she had lain here in her bed, thinking about his kisses, and now when she had had the opportunity to have more than just kisses she had gone and sent him away.
‘Is me lipstick all right?’
Dutifully Molly scrutinised June’s mouth as best she could in the dim lighting of the Grafton Dance Hall.
‘It’s fine,’ she assured her sister, raising her voice to make herself heard above the band.
A whole gang of them had met up at the Grafton: Molly, June and Frank, Sally and Ronnie, plus some of the girls from work and their dates, as well as Jim Fowler and Jean.
Molly had even persuaded Anne to join them, along with Richard and Philip.
They had taken over two large tables, with a good view of the dance floor and the band, and the mood of the evening, which had started out as one of energetic enthusiasm, had suddenly become more sombre now that it was almost midnight.
Couples were swaying together on the dance floor as the band started to play slower, smoochier numbers. A girl at the table next to Molly’s party had started to cry as she clung to the hand of the young man with her.
‘There’s that many girls scriking, you’d think that every lad in Liverpool had bin called up,’ June whispered witheringly to Molly. ‘When your hubby really is fightin’ for his country, you owes it to him to act with a bit of self-control, instead of cryin’ all over him.’
Everyone knew that the Government was exhorting women to send their men off to war with a brave heart and a warm smile instead of with tears.
‘It’s almost midnight – come and dance with me,’ Eddie begged Molly.
The girl singer with the band was singing George Gershwin’s ‘The Man I Love’, and the lights had been turned down low. All around her couples were dancing together, lost in their own worlds. Molly could see June dancing with Frank whilst Anne was wrapped tightly in Philip’s arms.
At almost midnight, the band stopped playing. Eddie took hold of Molly’s hand and practically dragged her back to their table. As midnight struck and everyone roared and cheered, Eddie reached into his pocket and brought out a small box.
‘I’ve bin carrying this around wi’ me ever since I bought it for yer in New York, Molly.’ He shook his head as his emotions overwhelmed him, and then opened the small box. Molly gasped as she saw the ring nestling on the little velvet cushion, the stone in the centre glittering. ‘Will yer marry me and be me wife, Molly?’ Eddie asked her.
‘Oh, Eddie …’ Her eyes shining with happy tears, Molly nodded. ‘Yes, oh, yes, of course I will.’
She examined the ring. ‘It’s beautiful. What is the stone?’
‘It’s a diamond solitaire, of course,’ he told her proudly, as he slipped the ring onto her finger.
A diamond solitaire. No one Molly knew had a real diamond ring with a proper stone in it and not small chips of diamanté. She was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t speak. Tears trickled down her cheeks, causing June, who had just returned to the table, to rush over.
Still speechless, Molly simply extended her left hand. Within seconds, or so it seemed to her, the whole table was cheering and whooping, the men congratulating Eddie and demanding to kiss her whilst the girls all crowded round her to admire her ring.
‘So when will you be gettin’ married then?’ June asked.
‘I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it yet. I didn’t even know that Eddie …’ Molly shook
her head, setting her dark curls dancing. With her cheeks flushed and her eyes shining just as brightly as the diamond ring on her finger, her lips slightly parted in a tremulous smile, she looked radiant.
Molly could hardly believe what had happened. She knew that Eddie loved her, as she did him, but the unexpectedness of his romantic gesture had made her feel so wonderfully special.
‘I’ll remember tonight for the rest of my life,’ she whispered to him later, locked in his arms whilst they shared the last dance of the evening. ‘It’s been so wonderful. You are so wonderful, Eddie.’
‘You wait until we get married – then I’ll show you what wonderful is all about,’ he whispered, buoyed up on the inhibition-dissolving effect of love and the beer he’d drunk during the evening.
‘Sauce!’ Molly checked him automatically, but the gaze she gave him was liquid with love and delight as she nestled closer to him, a happy smile curving her lips. Tonight she was the happiest girl in the whole of Liverpool and she didn’t care who knew it.
FOUR
‘Blimey O’Reilly, it’s cold,’ June protested, huddling deeper into her coat, against the biting wind with its thick flurries of snow. ‘I hope this isn’t a sign of what 1940 is going to be like.’ They had had freezing temperatures all week and the pavements were treacherous, with frozen snow lying beneath fresh falls.
Molly glanced down towards the docks. It was the second week of January and Eddie’s ship wasn’t due to dock for another week. She couldn’t help worrying about him even more now, exposed to the danger from Hitler’s submarines, and the worst winter weather anyone could remember.
June was walking alongside her, her arm through Frank’s, whilst Sally and Ronnie were up ahead, Ronnie carrying Tommy whilst Sally clung to his arm.
They had just got off the bus outside Lime Street station, where they had come to see the men off to rejoin their units, as had the other wives and families crowding into the station.
Ronnie had told them he had heard they were being posted to France to join the British Expeditionary Force that was helping to fight off a German invasion of that country.
A group of WVS volunteers just inside the station were dispensing cups of tea from a huge urn, as well as taking charge of lost children and answering anxious questions.
Molly studied them discreetly. Her own group had already been warned that in the event of battle-weary and injured men being returned to England, they would be called upon to take their turn at the station, giving what assistance they could.
Now, for the first time, as she saw the swirling mass of people filling the station and felt the sombreness of the mood – could almost taste its heady combination of female fear and male tension – Molly was sharply aware of the stark reality of the country being at war. The jolliness and togetherness of Christmas, and the fun and excitement of New Year’s Eve, had almost made her forget there was a war on, but just one look at the concerned faces all around her brought the fear and dread flooding back in an instant.
Everywhere, there were men in uniform, along with wives, parents and children. She could see the pride and the anxiety in June’s eyes as her sister looked up at her own husband, and she had to blink away sudden tears herself.
‘That’s our lot over there,’ Ronnie called out to Frank, gesturing to a group of men standing several yards away, surrounded by their families.
Ronnie and Frank forged a pathway through the crowd, Sally and June clinging to their arms, whilst Molly hurried along with them.
When they reached their watching comrades they were given a rousing cheer, and introductions were quickly performed that left Molly with a confusing mix of nicknames to pin to the unfamiliar faces. Typically, the men were soon exchanging jokes and banter.
‘Look at ’em. Anyone’d think they was off to a football match and not a war,’ June said witheringly to Molly.
‘Mark my words, your Frank will be a sergeant before this is all over,’ Ronnie predicted.
The train was already filling up with men.
‘You’d better get on, Frank, else you’ll not get a seat,’ June warned.
‘Don’t you worry about your Frank, missus,’ one of the other men grinned. ‘He’ll get a seat even if he has to chuck someone else out of it first.’
‘Aye, and like as not it will be you, Benjy,’ Frank quipped in response, turning back to hug Sally and then Molly. Molly could see the genuine affection in his eyes. She hugged him back and then released him, stepping back so that June could stand next to him.
Whilst the men were ribbing one another and joking, the women were slowly growing quieter and more concerned.
‘Here, why don’t I take Tommy, Sally?’ Molly offered. ‘Then you can say goodbye to your Ronnie proper, like.’
‘Ta, Molly.’
Feeling that it wasn’t her place to watch other people’s private goodbyes, Molly settled the baby in her arms and walked back into the crowd.
Three men were hurrying towards the train, the tallest of them wearing his cap pushed back off his face and his army greatcoat open, causing several women to admire his broad physique and handsome face, looks which he brazenly returned, whilst Molly stood staring at him in consternation, unable to move.
He was almost abreast of her before he saw her, his grin faltering before quickly returning as he winked and said easily, ‘Hello, Molly. Come to see Frank off, have you?’
‘He-llo, Johnny,’ Molly managed to stammer. ‘Yes. He’s over there with Ronnie Walker.’
‘Heard about your engagement,’ Johnny told her, gesturing towards her glove-covered hand as she held the Walkers’ baby.
‘You didn’t waste much time there, did you?’
Had he no shame, Molly wondered indignantly, her initial self-consciousness forgotten as she tossed her head and told him pithily, ‘By, but you’ve got your cheek, Johnny Everton!’
Instead of being properly shamed, Johnny’s grin simply widened. Bending his head, he whispered close to Molly’s ear, ‘Bet he isn’t as good a kisser as me.’
Molly blushed bright pink, but managed to retort firmly, ‘I should have thought you’d be showing a bit more shame, seeing what you’ve done. That poor girl …’
Immediately Johnny’s grin vanished. ‘Her!’ he grimaced bitterly. ‘That kid she’s claiming is mine could be anyone’s, and the whole of their street knows it – aye, and that father of hers, an’ all.
‘Hello, gorgeous,’ he called out to a passing blonde, his attention instantly diverted from Molly. ‘Fancy catching a train with me?’
‘Oh, Johnny,’ Molly protested. Despite herself she grinned. He would never change and, actually, she decided, she wouldn’t want him to. In an ever-changing world, Johnny Everton’s cheek and charm were reassuring constants. Now that she wasn’t engaged to him she no longer felt so overwhelmed by his sexuality, like a young girl apprehensive in the face of something she didn’t really understand. She did, after all, know how it felt to want someone now. She wasn’t sorry that they had met accidentally like this. For one thing, it took away any awkwardness, were they to meet in the future, and for another it made her all the more sure that it was Eddie she loved. Eddie … A small secret smile played on her lips as she thought about him.
‘Ah, don’t get jealous, Molly – I still like yer the best!’ Johnny teased.
‘Don’t even think about it, Johnny Everton,’ Molly replied with a smile. ‘My Eddie’s worth ten of you.’ She meant it. Narrowly avoiding being married to Johnny had been a lucky escape, and though she could still see why virtually every woman stopped in her tracks when she clapped eyes on him, she knew that what she had with Eddie was worth far more.
Giving her a mock salute, Johnny turned and headed for the train.
Funny how things worked out, Molly decided happily as she made her way back to June and the others. When she had been engaged to Johnny she had felt trapped and afraid – of him and of marriage. Now that she was engaged to Eddie she felt far more at ea
se with Johnny than she had ever done when they had been together. And as for being afraid of marriage – she laughed happily – she couldn’t wait. A rush of pleasure filled her. She hugged the baby tightly. When Eddie came home she was going to tell him that she didn’t want to wait, and that she wanted them to get married as quickly as they could. Maybe he could get work down at the gridiron, alongside her dad as well as his uncle and cousin. Her father had said only the other night that more men were needed because of all the munition trains. It would be hard, dirty work, she knew that, but surely it would be better and safer than being in the merchant navy. Perhaps she ought to have a word with Elsie to see what she thought.
Life and love were both so precious. She didn’t want to waste a single minute of either.
‘How do you fancy going to Lewis’s and having a cuppa before we go home?’ Sally suggested as the three girls struggled to stay together in the press of people leaving Lime Street, whilst they battled against the icy wind and driving snow.
‘I suppose we might as well,’ June agreed.
‘I’ll have to call at the butcher’s on the way back and collect mine and dad’s bacon ration,’ Molly put in, ‘otherwise our dad won’t be able to have his bacon butties.’
‘I’ll come with yer then, and collect mine,’ June told her. ‘And then you can come with me to Frank’s mam’s and help me take me stuff back home. I told Frank there was no way I was going to stay on at his mam’s with him gone, and that the first thing I’d be doing was moving back to number 78.’
‘Ronnie told me that some of the wives have bin taking lodgings down south so as to be close to the barracks,’ Sally informed them. ‘Then if the men are on home duty they can get to see a bit more of them, rather than spend two days of it travelling there and back. I’ve bin thinking about doin’ the same, if my Ronnie got a home posting.’
‘I shouldn’t bother, if I was you, Sally,’ June told her. ‘With any luck they’ll be back soon. That Hitler will be running off with his tail between his legs once he realises our lads aren’t going to let him invade France.’
