Goodnight Sweetheart

by Annie Groves

  Molly might have been secretly coaxing Lillibet to say the special word for days, but it still gave her a sharp pang of mingled joy and pain to see the look in Frank’s eyes as he got up and walked over to the high chair.

  ‘Yes. I am your dada,’ he agreed tenderly.

  ‘I talk to her about our June every night at bedtime,’ Molly told him slightly breathlessly, ‘but I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to do when she starts wanting to say “Mama”.’ Her colour was high and she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Only yesterday Sally had commented that it would not be long before a good-looking chap like Frank caught some girl’s eye.

  ‘Our June’s not bin dead a year yet, Sally,’ Molly had objected sharply.

  ‘I know that, Molly, but it’s different in wartime,’ responded Sally. And Molly had not felt able to argue with her.

  ‘I’d better get off to work,’ Albert announced, heaving himself up out of his chair. Frank went with him to the door and Molly half expected him to leave as well. Although he was spending virtually all day at number 78 so that he could see as much as possible of Lillibet, he was naturally staying at his mother’s. When he didn’t leave but returned to the back room, Molly could feel her body stiffening with apprehensive guilt. It had been one thing to acknowledge how she felt about him when she had been a girl, even though he had been June’s boyfriend, but it was something else again to acknowledge that she still had those feelings for him, albeit a far more grown-up version of them, when her sister was dead. She felt awkward and angry whenever he was around – awkward with him and angry with herself – and yet at the same time the first thing she thought of when she woke up in the morning was the pleasure of knowing he would be coming round.

  ‘You’d better get off to your mother’s,’ she told him now, determined not to let him see how she felt.

  ‘There’s no rush; she knows where I am.’

  Molly had finished feeding Lillibet and she went to lift her out of the highchair, but Frank stayed her, putting his hand on her arm.

  ‘There’s sommat I’ve bin wanting to say to you, Molly. It’s about our Lillibet.’ Molly’s stomach tightened, her heart lurching sickeningly into her ribs. ‘I’ve bin thinking as how I’d like her to have both a mam and a dad. You and me – we grew up wi’ just the one parent so we know what it’s like to want to have two.’

  He felt as though he were walking barefoot on top of a factory wall cemented with broken glass, Frank admitted. He wished more than anything else he had more time for this, but, as his mother was constantly warning him, ultimately he would be going back to war, and a pretty girl like Molly would have any number of lads chasing after her, even if, from what she’d heard, she’d sent Johnny packing.

  It was worse than Molly had thought it was going to be. Much worse. But she had her pride and so she lifted her head and said determinedly, ‘If you’re trying to tell me that sooner or later you’ll be wanting to get married again and when you do, you’ll not be needin’ me to take care of Lillibet, you don’t need to say it. There’s plenty enough folk around here told me that already.’

  She could see that he was frowning and her heart missed several beats.

  ‘Molly.’ He reached for her hands but she pulled them away, folding them onto her lap. ‘What’s up?’ he asked her uncertainly. ‘You and me have allus got on well, Molly, and yet since I’ve bin home this time you’ve bin like a cat on hot bricks around me – aye, and acting like you can’t bear to have me anywhere near you. I thought you and me was pals, Molly.’

  Molly’s eyes filled with tears that she tried to blink away.

  ‘We are,’ she answered him gruffly. ‘It’s just that I’m that miserable at the thought of you marryin’ again, Frank, and tekkin’ Lillibet away.’

  It was the truth, even if it wasn’t the whole of it.

  ‘Eeh, lass. There’s only one girl I’d want to be Lillibet’s mam, and that’s you. That’s what I was wanting to talk to you about. To ask if you would think about you and me …’

  Her heart was pounding so loudly she was surprised the whole street couldn’t hear it. If an air-raid warning sounded now, they wouldn’t be able to hear it above the racket her heart was making, Molly thought shakily.

  Somehow or other he had taken hold of her hands, and he was looking into her eyes, his own filled with earnestness and concern. In another minute he would be kissing her and she wanted him to kiss her so badly. But how could she let him when there was June’s memory ever present in her mind?

  ‘Molly, will yer—’

  She pulled her hands away and jumped up so quickly she nearly overturned her chair.

  ‘No, Frank, no, you mustn’t. I won’t listen to any more. I can’t … we mustn’t. There’s our June to think of.’ She shook her head, unable to say any more.

  The first thing Molly did just as soon as Frank had gone was pick up Lillibet and go upstairs to her bedroom where she put the baby in her cot and picked up her sister’s photograph. She could barely see June’s face for her own guilty tears, as she sobbed out her distress and misery to her, before hugging the photograph tightly to her chest.

  TWELVE

  ‘Molly lass, what’s wrong?’

  Molly could hardly bring herself to look at her father. It was four days now since Frank had spoken to her and there hadn’t even been one of them when she hadn’t woken up longing to be able to tell him that there was nothing she wanted more than to be his wife and Lillibet’s mam, and at the same time hating herself for the way she felt.

  Today was New Year’s Eve and tonight she and Frank and some of the others from the close were all going dancing at the Grafton, whilst her father and Frank’s mam looked after Lillibet.

  ‘Come on, lass, you can tell yer old dad, can’t yer?’ Albert coaxed gently. He hated seeing his little Molly like this. She had allus bin such a happy girl, aye, and a brave ’un as well, and he had begun to hope since Frank had come home that maybe …

  ‘It’s Frank, Dad,’ Molly told him miserably. ‘He’s said as how he wants me to think about us getting wed so that our Lillibet can have a proper mam and dad, but how can I, Dad, when there’s our June?’ Tears filled Molly’s eyes and spilled down onto her pale cheeks. ‘Frank were June’s hubby and it meks me feel like I’d be stealing him from her if I were to say yes, but I want to say yes, Dad, and that meks me feel right bad about meself.’

  ‘Eeh, lass …’ He shook his head sympathetically. Although he’d never upset her by saying so, he knew that as a young girl Molly had been sweet on Frank, and he could see now how distressed she was.

  ‘But if it weren’t for our June, would you really want to wed him, lass?’

  Molly’s flushed face and bent head gave him his answer.

  ‘I don’t want to tek what’s rightfully June’s, Dad. It’s different with Lillibet ’cos I’ll be telling her all about her mam when she’s growing up and she’ll know that our June were her mam, and that I love her just as if she were me own for her own sake as well as for our June’s, but with Frank …’

  She went over to her father and put her head on his shoulder. ‘Sally Walker were saying only the other day as how Frank is bound to remarry because it’s different for men and it’s wartime, but you never put anyone else in our mam’s place, Dad.’

  She felt his chest lift and then fall with his sigh.

  ‘I’ll be honest wi’ you, Molly. There were times, aye, and lots of them, when I’d have given anything to have met someone who could have been a mother to the two of you and a wife to me, but somehow it never happened. But it’s different in wartime, Molly. And do you know what? I reckon if you was able to ask our June she’d say as how she’d rather you was wed to Frank and bring up Lillibet than some stranger. In fact, I reckon if our June is up there looking down right now she’d be telling you that there’s nothing she wants more than for her little ’un to grow up with you as her mam. You know how it was with the two of you, Molly. I did me best for both of you,
and June mothered you in her own way, but poor June never had anyone to mother her and I reckon I did badly by her by not finding someone who might have done. June missed her mam, Molly, and she wouldn’t want her own kiddie growing up wi’out a mam.’

  Molly knew there was a good deal of truth in what he was saying.

  Her father could see this and he pressed home his advantage. ‘June is wi’ her mam now, Molly, bless ’em both.’ He paused to wipe the tears from his eyes. ‘And do you know what? June allus knew as you had a soft spot for her Frank and I reckon if you could ask her now she’d tell you that she wants you to wed him and look after her little ’un. There’s no shame in you having feelings for a fine upstanding chap like Frank, Molly, nor any shame in him having them for you. He were a good husband to our June and you were a good sister to her. I reckon folks’ll think it only right and natural that you and Frank should wed, especially with you tekkin’ on June’s little ’un. And I reckon your Eddie would agree with me as well. He wouldn’t want to see you all on your own, Molly. He’d want you to be happy, just as you would want that for him if he had bin left here without you. That’s what loving someone is all about – wantin’ the best for them.’

  Frank looked so handsome in his uniform, his thick dark hair neatly combed back off his face and his broad shoulders making him stand out against all the other men, even though the Grafton was packed with people celebrating New Year’s Eve. Molly felt so proud to be here with him and yet, at the same time, she felt so shy and apprehensive. Frank hadn’t mentioned what he had said to her again, and if it hadn’t been for the look she had seen in his eyes earlier in the evening when he had called to collect her, she might almost have thought she had imagined their conversation.

  It was almost midnight and her tummy was churning with a mixture of confusing feelings. She wanted desperately to tell him that she did want them to have a future together, but her thoughts of her sister still held her back. The band started to play ‘Blues in the Night’. Frank looked at her, and asked, ‘Will you dance with me, Molly?’

  Her mouth had gone so dry she couldn’t speak and had to nod her head instead. Like someone in a dream, she watched as he stood up and then turned to pull out her chair for her. When he led her onto the dance floor, she trembled slightly, and then she trembled even more when he took her in his arms.

  She had danced with him before, but never like this, never knowing that he wanted to court her and make her his wife, never knowing that the look she was seeing in his eyes meant that he desired her as a woman.

  ‘Don’t look at me like that, Molly,’ he commanded her gruffly. ‘Not unless you want me to kiss you right here on the dance floor in front of everyone.’

  ‘If we was to be together I’d still want Lillibet to grow up knowing all about our June,’ she told him.

  Frank missed a step and then looked at her with a mixture of surprise and delight. ‘Molly. Oh, Molly lass!’

  ‘Frank, you mustn’t hold me so tight …’ Molly was breathless and blushing, and oh so deliciously happy.

  ‘Yes, I must,’ he told her masterfully. ‘And as for Lillibet – of course we’ll tell her all about your June, but she’ll still call you “Mam”, Molly.’

  Molly trembled and blushed even more, and now it was her turn to miss a step, so that Frank had to hold her even more tightly and draw her closer to him.

  ‘I’d not want to tek anything that’s rightfully our June’s,’ Molly insisted bravely.

  ‘Me feelings for you belong to you, Molly.’

  She looked at him. They had stopped dancing but she hadn’t even noticed. She looked up into his kind, loving eyes and then at his familiar smiling mouth and her heart did a somersault.

  ‘When I was a girl I had a right crush on you, Frank.’ She could see his smile widening.

  ‘But you’re not a girl any more; you’re a woman now, Molly, a lovely, strong, beautiful woman. Maybe it’s too soon to say this, but I can’t help meself. I love you, Molly,’ he told her fiercely.

  And then he kissed her. Not as a friend, but as a man, and she kissed him back, whilst all around them people broke into cheers to greet the New Year. Somewhere in the distance she could hear Vera Lynn singing about bluebirds and white cliffs, and suddenly it didn’t seem as though those days of peace ever after were such an impossibility after all.

  I’ll take care of him, June, Molly promised mentally. I’ll take care of both of them, and your Lillibet will grow up with a proper mam and dad of her own. I promise.

  And it seemed to Molly that she felt a small exhaled breath and heard an impatient sigh, and inside her head her sister’s voice told her briskly, ‘Oh, give over being so soft, our Molly. As if I didn’t know that for meself.’

  About the Author

  GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART

  Annie Groves lives in the North-West of England and has done so all of her life. She is also the author of Ellie Pride, Connie’s Courage and Hettie of Hope Street, a series of novels for which she drew upon her own family’s history, picked up from listening to her grandmother’s stories when she was a child. Goodnight Sweetheart is based on wartime recollections of Liverpool from members of her family who come from the city.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.co.uk for exclusive news on your favourite HarperCollins authors.

  By the same author

  Ellie Pride

  Connie’s Courage

  Hettie of Hope Street

  Some Sunny Day

  Copyright

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

  HarperCollinsPublishers

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  Published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2006

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  Copyright © Annie Groves 2006

  Annie Groves asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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  Epub Edition JANUARY 2009 ISBN: 9780007279500

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