“Why are you sorry? You’re here.”
“I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to find you. I thought you were dead.”
“Kaden, you could never have known what they did. It’s not your fault. Cole saved me, and now I have you. I’m not sorry,” she says with a sweet smile.
I’m surprised she sounds so… well, so much like her old self. I had heard whispers that she had lost her mind while she was with the Fae; that she had barely more than a child’s mind – which would be understandable considering the torture the Fae forced her to endure.
I still don’t know what happened to her, but I intend to find out; and more importantly, why? I sit and talk with her until she goes back to sleep. She looks so innocent when she sleeps – almost like she did before the Fall. I make a vow to never let any further harm come to her; she’s all I have left now Addie has been stolen from me.
I head out of the room and come face to face with the guard stationed by Elaihn's door. He straightens, ready to receive instruction.
“Nothing and nobody goes in or out of this room, do you understand?” He nods, acknowledging my order and I head down to find Dimitri but he’s not there. For no other reason than it’s a place to start, I head down to the basement where Olivia is being kept. I hear the soft swell of voices and stop to listen.
“Olivia, darling, I can’t even begin to know what you have suffered, but now, you need to trust me.”
“He did this to me, Dimitri! And now you’re working with him? How am I supposed to trust you? Trust either of you?”
“He didn’t do this to you, Cole did. I know you said Cole saved you, but he only liberated you from a hell he put you in. He did it to break you, Olivia; to ensure your loyalty. I know if you think about it, you’ll see that, too.”
“Maybe I don’t want to think about it. Maybe I just want to forget it all. Did you ever think about that, Dimitri? That maybe I’d be better off out there, or dead, not having to live with the knowledge of what those monsters did to me?”
“I don’t believe that, Olivia. You have always been strong. You kept Addie strong, you kept your group together. You were the glue. You would never give up like that. Addie wouldn’t want you to either.”
“You don’t know that. You don’t know everything. You can’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be so nice to me. Addie wouldn’t care what happened to me. Not anymore. It went too far.”
“Addie forgives you. She has a great capacity for forgiveness – you only have to look to Kaden to see the truth in that. It was Kaden who took you and Logan away. Then he poisoned Tyler against her, so he could capture her – that betrayal cut her deep. Deeper than it should have done. But somehow, amongst all of that, she wore Kaden down and made him see the good in himself. When I asked her about it, she said she never had to forgive him, he just needed to forgive himself. It will be the same for you.”
“How is she back?” she asks quietly.
“I can’t answer that. I don’t think anyone other than Addie can. We’ve not pushed her on it; she’s been going through a lot these past few months.”
Their conversation comes to a pause and I take advantage of it to interrupt by knocking on the door. I open it to see Dimitri sat on the edge of Olivia’s bed. She looks lost and afraid. Her face is dirty with tear stains and she is wringing her hands out as she tries to process whatever she’s thinking about. She looks up at me, and the fight and anger that was there before is gone. All I see is a lonely, lost little girl.
“Dimitri, I need to speak to you,” I say. He turns back to Olivia and pats her hand gently.
“Just think about what we talked about, okay?” he says softly before standing and walking past me out of the room. I follow him back upstairs, and to his office.
“I need to know what it is you’re not telling me, Dimitri. There are so many different parts of this that don’t make sense to me, including the part where my sister wasn’t killed. Did Xander know?” I say, pacing in front of him. I hate not having all of the pieces of the puzzle in front of me. “And why haven’t The Seven attacked yet? None of it makes any sense.”
“I already told you, Kaden, I don’t have all of the information, and the information I do have is need to know. You turned me down when I asked you to take over as Head of House Bane, as your brother wished, but I’m going to ask you again. In position of Head, you can guarantee the safety of your sister; you can watch over her; you can help us find and create a treaty with The Seven, ensuring peace for us all. Not only that, but you will be given all the information you desire. But it all comes down to the fact we need you, Kaden. This is House Bane, and while I am party of the Syreline, I am not a Bane. A lot of what we’ve accomplished in recent months has been because of you. Look at how you healed Addie. This house needs to heal, and you’re the only person who can do that.”
“What about Addie?”
“I know you love her – I won’t judge, I’ve never judged anyone for love, but this is bigger than you and her, Kaden. I know it is asking you to sacrifice a lot, maybe even everything, but I wouldn’t ask it of you if I didn’t think it was necessary – and you’d get the answers you’re looking for.”
His words resonate. I’m selfish, it’s the reason I never became a Head of House in the beginning. I want to be happy and I want to put myself first, but Addie has taught me that somethings are bigger than us as an individual. She makes me want to be a better man, and even though this might mean I can never be with her, I want her to be proud of the man I have become.
“I’ll do it,” I say, signing my fate.
Walking through The Palace grounds relaxes me. Rose left first thing this morning, with a promise she’d return soon. After the craziness of last night, the quiet and the calm of the gardens is welcome. They seem to go on forever, with bursts of colour everywhere. Sometimes, I come across a small pond or fountains, and the bubbling water soothes me. I’ve never been around this much water, but the more I am, the more I discover it is my happy place. I could listen to the movement of water forever.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Princess.”
I open one eye, squinting at the Vampyr guard looking down at me.
“Your presence has been requested by the King.”
A groan escapes me and my little bubble of happy bursts. It’s replaced by the anxiety of uncertainty. God knows what he thinks of me after my little outburst last night, but I stand by it. If I discover anyone has harmed Sophie, they will not like what they find inside of me. I stand and motion for him to lead the way.
Following him through The Palace, we travel to a place I haven’t yet visited and I guess it must be the King’s private quarters.
The guard stops outside a plain, dark wood door before knocking once. A voice calls out, but I miss what is said. I assume it was an okay as the guard opens the door and ushers me into the room, closing the door behind me. The King has been nothing but nice to me, but I’ve heard of his temper, and I don’t want to be subject to that. I slowly walk into the light of the room and see him sat down at a small table; tea and cakes are set out in front of him.
“Adelaide, good! You made it,” he says with a smile, standing to greet me. “Please, come in. I hope you like cake? I have something of a sweet tooth and can never resist good cake.”
My mouth waters a little over the cake; I’ve never been privy to such luxury. So many different cakes are spread out in front of me that I don’t know where to start.
“Please, help yourself. The Key Lime Pie Cheesecake is exquisite!” he gushes, and then chuckles at my confused look before passing me a plate with something that looks like it might make me curl up and go to heaven. “Go on, take a bite.”
I pick up the tiny fork in front of me and taste it. Oh myyyyygaahhhhhh!
“That is… I have no words,” I groan as the flavours burst in my mouth.
“Told you so,” he winks. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you here,”
&
nbsp; “You mean other than to feed me cake made of heaven?”
“Indeed,” he belly-laughs at me. “Now, as Rayne made clear last night, the high council are very worried about your existence. The prophecies of old, warn that you have the power to tip the balance of our world. I’m sure you know all of that nonsense already. The council want to know if you are truly a threat. After last night, I’ve no doubt you definitely gave them something to think about,” he says.
I wince. I managed to go all red eye on them and my assessment had already begun, unbeknownst to me. Wonderful!
“The way you stood up for that little girl showed not only your physical strength but that of your character, too. Standing up for the child, regardless of her kin, showed you are willing to fight for those who are not able to fight for themselves. While this could be misconstrued, I believe your heart is in the right place, which is why I closed their enquiry this morning.”
So that explains why I was never called on this morning for my ‘assessment’. I would never have guessed it was due to the intervention of the King.
“You did?” I ask, wonder in my eyes. “You trust me?”
“Adelaide…”
“Please call me Addie, I feel like I’m a child in trouble when people call me Adelaide.”
“Of course, Addie. As I was saying, there is much you do not know about me – I’m sure as much as I do not know about you. But it is my hope we can get to know one another properly. When you were born, like everyone else in the world, I thought you had died. I believed the lies your mother fed me, and for all these years, I have mourned the loss of my child.”
Oh, my God, he doesn’t know. My throat tightens and suddenly, the mouthful of cake I am eating feels like it wants to choke me. I try to quietly cough it down.
“Your mother made it quite clear that after such a loss, she could not go through with having another child – and so hope was lost. I closed myself down from your mother, from my friends, from the world. Discovering you were still alive lit a fire inside of me, the likes of which I have not felt in many years. Finding out your truth was hard for me, but in my heart, you were still my child. My lost princess.”
So he does know? How can he still love me?
“Finding you has given me a new lease of life. Even if I am not your true father, Adelaide, I hope you’ll allow me to show you how much you mean to me. As far as I am concerned, you are my daughter. I hope one day, you will consider me your father.”
Speechless, I look at him with new eyes. I see a man broken by loss made alive again at the hope of something new. Who am I to turn him away? “I would be honoured to be your daughter, your highness. I hope I do not prove to be a disappointment to you,” I say.
He grips my hand across the table and, caught up in emotion, I walk to him and hug him tightly. While my mother may be cold, this man wants to be my family – a family I have always craved deep down and after so much loss, I would be insane not to jump at this chance.
“Your Highness,”
“Please, call me Kellan.”
“Okay, Kellan. Can you tell me more about the girl from last night? Why is Sophie working here when she is so young?”
“To my shame, I can’t, but I’m sure Jessa or Penelope will have some information for you.”
“Thank you. I feel a kinship with her. I remember being that small and being picked on by the bigger kids, you know? If I can make her happier, even a little, then I’ll try.”
I really do love these gardens; they bring me a sense of peace, something I haven’t felt in what feels like forever. I’ve spent most of my time since I got to the palace feeling lonely. I know Michael is here, but something inside of me yearns for something deeper, something to fill the void that has been left by Xander’s death.
I’m here with the people who are meant to be my family, but they’re strangers to me. My mother, who is meant to be a comfort in times like these, is the coldest of them all – I had hoped for more from a mother, and now, it feels like a double loss. She abandoned me, but somewhere deep down, I hoped it was because she was too young, or she was in danger and wanted a better life for me. I built her up in my head without really realising it, and now I’m faced with the reality of my family, rejected by the one person who is meant to love me above all others, it’s nothing how I imagined. I’m constantly surrounded by people, and I’ve never felt more alone.
I sit on a bench overlooking the green at the back of the palace and watch Sophie as she plays with Jessa. I’m envious of her naivety – of her ability to get past the horrors of her few short years. I know what she’s been through still haunts her, I see it in her eyes when she looks at my mother like she’s a monster. I relate to her on that level – my mother is a monster, and the disappointment at that knowledge guts me.
I get up and walk towards them when Sophie sees me.
“Princess, what are you doing out here?” Jessa asks.
“Hello, Sophie. Jessa. I thought I’d come outside and get some fresh air. Are you having fun?”
“I sure am. Miss Jessa is playing tea-party with me,” she points to the two dolls she has. They are poor excuses for dolls and I wonder if they once belonged to Jessa. “This is, Evie, and Molly,” Sophie explains. “They’re my friends. Would you like to join us for some tea, Princess?”
“Oh, I’m sure the Princess is very busy, Sophie,” Jessa suggests, smiling at me apologetically. I smile back, reassuring her.
“I would love to, Sophie. I’d like that a lot,” I say softly before kneeling down onto the blanket and tucking my legs beneath me. I have no memories of playing like this as a child. On reflection, I realise I didn’t really have a childhood.
“Did you play with your friends when you were little, Princess?” she asks. Her big eyes look up at me; she’s so innocent, so vulnerable, and my heart squeezes.
“I did,” I half-lie, “but I don’t think we ever had tea parties, Sophie. This is my first,” I tell her and I’m surprised to hear the lump in my throat.
“Really? I get to have tea parties whenever I like now. Miss Jessa said I don’t have to do those nasty chores anymore - now my job is to play lots!” She looks at me as if she has revealed something quite miraculous.
“Well, that is a very important job, Sophie,” I say, smiling. “What a lucky girl you are.”
“Not really,” she says, her eyes dropping. “If I was lucky, then I’d have a real mum and dad like the other children in the town – like you.”
My heart is breaking at this sudden change in her; she’s not as naïve as I thought, she’s just very resilient.
“I’m really sorry, Sophie. But you have friends and friends are super important, too.”
She looks up at me, her eyes still tinged with sadness, and I can see a hesitancy there, like she’s still not sure if she can trust me – and after what I’ve heard about her life so far, I can’t say I blame her.
“Do you have lots of friends, Princess?” she asks.
“Sophie, stop being so nosy!” Jessa chides her.
“It’s fine, Jessa. Sophie can ask me anything she likes,” I say, patting Sophie’s hand to let her know it’s okay. She withdraws her hands from me, and I realise it might just be a bit too soon to be that friendly with her. She doesn’t really know me yet and she’s not had the luxury of being cuddled and touched.
“I never had lots of friends, Sophie. Believe it or not, I don’t trust too many people. So when I become somebody’s friend, I like to know I can count on them. That I can trust them – and know they won’t hurt me. But when I open myself up to them, then they become my family.”
“I’d like friends like that. Then I’ll have a family, just like you.”
“I have no doubt about it. Now, how about some of that delicious tea you were drinking?” I distract her from the sad route her questions led us down. I haven’t lied to her, my friends have become my family – but sometimes, family isn’t always to be trusted. I think back to Ty, who bet
rayed me. To Livvy, who betrayed me. To Logan, who disappeared. Maybe I’m not that great a judge of character.
I smile as Sophie pours me some pretend tea and I sip from the teacup she hands me as she chatters away to her dolls and Jessa. I join in when she includes me, but I try not to intrude on her too much. I can only imagine how deep her trust issues run, and the only other time she met me, I went all red eyes on her. Even if I was protecting her, that’s how she saw me. I don’t expect her to let me in straight away, but her light calls to me; it pulls me from the darkness swirling inside of me. I think we could heal one another. I believe the universe has placed Sophie and I together.
“Princess, do you want to be a mummy when you grow up?” Sophie asks, startling me from my thoughts.
Her question genuinely surprises me, and if I’m honest, it saddens me, too. Now Xander is lost to me, I can’t see me becoming a mother. “Erm, I’ve never really thought about it – not really.”
“I want to be a mummy. I’d keep them safe and make sure they were always happy. It would be nice to love them.”
“I think you’d be really good at that, Sophie.”
“Yes, I would,” she says turning her attention to her dolls again.
I want to help her, something inside me wants to keep her safe. Maybe it’s because my mother abandoned me that I want to be there for her; Maybe it’s because when she’s around, I forget for a while how much my heart hurts. Sophie makes me forget just how much I miss Xander. The pain becomes a dull thump instead of a gut wrenching, incapacitating hurt. Maybe it’s because she can help me, too. Whatever it is, I’m drawn to this little girl.
We sit and talk for what feels like hours, then Jessa stands.
“Sophie, we need to pack these things away. I need to prepare for this evening, and help the Queen,” Jessa tells Sophie. The happy, playful light in her eyes dim a little.
“I don’t have to see the Queen do I?” she asks quietly, the fear evident in her voice.
“Well, there isn’t anyone else to watch you, sweetheart, so yes, you’ll need to come along with me.”
Soar (The Immortal Chronicles Book 3) Page 9
