by Gina Azzi
“Damn,” Easton whistles. He dunks a corn chip in salsa and pops it into his mouth. “She planning on staying then? In Boston?”
I frown, thanking the server when she drops off our entrees. We’re hanging at our favorite Mexican fusion restaurant, not too far from Noah and Indy’s place. “I don’t know,” I say slowly. “We haven’t really talked about it. I know she’s looking into other options. But for now, we’re just…taking things as they come.”
“But you guys are for real,” Noah states.
I nod, shaking off the tremor of uncertainty I feel from Noah’s question. “Yeah, man. We’re for real.”
“Good for you, man.” East nods, wiping a napkin across his mouth. “It’ll be different now, you’ll see. It’s better having someone you can count on, someone you trust, especially once the season starts. I know we always said it’d be impossible to balance hockey and a family life but it’s not. Your priorities naturally realign when you find the person you want to share your life with. Of course, hockey is still hockey. But it doesn’t come close to having a home.”
Noah mulls that over before agreeing and picking up his taco.
I watch my friends as they dig into their lunch but suddenly, I’m not hungry. Because while the past few weeks with Chloe have been amazing, a turning point in our relationship that has elevated it from a casual, summer fling to a real, life-changing commitment, we’ve been insulated. Our entire dating experience has been confined to this summer. During the off-season, when I’m not constantly traveling or rushing to practices and workouts. With her here temporarily. With our families pushing us together and our friends cheering us on from the sidelines. We haven’t yet managed the balancing of our careers and hectic schedules. She doesn’t have a key to my place and hasn’t stated what her plans are come September.
All I know is when Chloe told me she loved me, I felt it in every fiber in my being. I felt it deep in my soul and her feelings for me shifted something in my world. But once hockey season resumes and I take up all the responsibilities on and off the ice that go with being the team captain, will I still be worthy of her love? Will I still be the man she fell for? Will I still be able to show her that she’s at the center of my world, even on the nights when it won’t feel that way?
“You don’t like the fajitas?” Noah flips his chin at me, squinting at my plate. “Is that sushi? I thought those were just in the nachos.”
I shrug, picking up my fork. “It’s a new dish.”
“Cool.”
“Hey,” Easton says suddenly. “You guys want to go to the MMA fight this weekend?”
“You got tickets?” I ask. “They were sold out last time I checked.”
“Oh yeah,” Noah says. “Jay Rodriguez is fighting out of Cyanide MMA in Chicago.”
“Yep.” East nods. “It’s Connor Scott’s original gym, before he launched the Soul Sanctuary franchise. Connor’s one of my college teammate’s friends. Evan hooked me up with four tickets.”
“Nice! I’m in,” Noah agrees.
I shake my head, a tiny flicker of disappointment running through me. “I wish, man. But this weekend is that wedding in New York.”
“Shit. Already?” East asks.
“Is Chloe worried about seeing her ex again?” Noah asks.
I shrug. “I doubt it. She seemed pretty much over him when we ran into him at the engagement party.”
“Yeah.” East waves his hand in my direction. “Because now she knows what it’s like to be with a real man.”
I grin, dipping my head in thanks. It isn’t often that East tosses out compliments but when he does, they sure are genuine.
“The fight is Friday night. When are you leaving for New York?” East asks.
“Friday morning,” I respond, trying out my sushi fajitas. “These are pretty good.”
“I’m going to order them next time,” Noah says as I push some onto his plate.
“You’ll have a good time,” East says.
“Huh?” I look up.
“At the wedding. With Chloe,” he clarifies.
“Yeah.” I grin. “It’s going to be one hell of a weekend.”
The week passes quickly as I start to prepare for hockey camps and check in on the team. I rev up my workouts, spend more time lifting weights, and realign my diet. But when I’m not training, I’m with Chloe.
It’s amazing how different my life feels now compared to the start of summer. Even the tough workouts, the ones where I struggle and feel like I lost my edge, the ones that used to cling to my mind for days afterwards, plunging me into a foul mood, fade into the background as soon as I see my girl.
Being with her makes everything better, brighter. It’s the little things too. The small, thoughtful gestures that let me know she’s thinking of me. Chloe pops by my place with green smoothies after morning training sessions. She’ll forward me an article on a new diet athletes are trying. On the nights when I’m exhausted, she curls up beside me on the couch to watch a movie and my body relaxes, my mind clears, and I feel at peace. Like the weight of my teammates’ futures—professionally and personally—aren’t sitting on my shoulders.
“Hey baby,” I answer her call Thursday afternoon.
“Hey! You ready for this weekend?”
“Tell me about your dress again,” I demand, teasing her. My sister and cousin took Chloe shoe shopping and while Claire and Indy have gushed about how amazing Chloe looks in her bridesmaid’s dress, I haven’t seen it yet.
She chuckles. “And give away my grand moment? No way, Aus. I want to see your eyes widen and your jaw hit the floor and—”
“We’ll be late to the wedding.”
She laughs again. “I’m just reminding you that our train leaves tomorrow morning at 8:23.”
“Why aren’t we driving again?” I ask, pouring myself a glass of water. I lean back against the kitchen counter, prepared to make my list of arguments why driving makes so much more sense: we’d have a car for the weekend.
“Because we’ll sit in traffic for hours, parking will be a nightmare, and isn’t it more romantic to take a train ride?”
I snort. “About as romantic as riding in a smelly subway.”
“It’s going to be fun. I promise! I already got our tickets.”
“Okay,” I acquiesce. “I’ll pick you up at 7:30.”
Chloe squeals. “It’s going to be the best. I can’t wait to take you to Annabelle’s on Saturday morning for brunch. Sourdough waffles are a gift after a night of drinking champagne.”
“I can’t wait, Sunshine. What are you doing today?”
“I’m heading to Mimi’s in a bit. I’m going out to dinner with my parents and Drew tonight.”
“Drew’s in town?”
“Yes! He surprised my parents for their anniversary.”
“I thought their anniversary is next month.” Diane and Greg’s wedding anniversary is the week after my parents and…a wave of panic grips me. Did I forget Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary? No, Savannah would have said something…
“It is. But Drew couldn’t get time off that week so he surprised them early.”
“Nice. Okay, well say hi to Mimi and enjoy dinner tonight. I’m going for a run now and then swinging by Panda’s place to hang for a bit.”
“You mean play video games.”
“Correct. See you tomorrow morning?”
“7:30. I’ll be on the front porch.”
I recall our getaway drive for Marissa’s engagement party and grin. “I’ll see you then. ‘Bye, baby.”
“‘Bye, Aus.”
I end the call and pop in my ear pods. Rolling my neck, I select a playlist and head out for a run.
The sun is shining, my legs are pumping, and I’m ready for the weekend. Who knew being a plus one to a wedding would fill me with such excitement? But I can’t wait to have a weekend in New York City with Chloe. And I really can’t wait to see her in that dress.
The ringing of my phone pulls me from sle
ep. I glance around groggily, noting that it’s still pitch-black outside. What the hell time is it?
I reach for my cell phone, banging my hand against the bedside table until I grasp it.
“Easton?” I answer, my voice thick with sleep. A thought zips through my head and I bolt upright. “Is Claire okay?”
“Austin. Fuck, man. Fuck.” My best friend sounds agitated.
“What’s wrong?” I demand.
“Aus, I need you to come to Taps.”
“Taps?” I pull the phone away from my ear to squint at the time. “It’s almost two in the morning.”
“Yeah,” East says miserably.
Realization slams into me. “Easton, are you drunk?”
“No,” he growls out. “No, I’m not fucking drunk, Austin. But Christ, I want to be. Fuck, please, I need you to come get me.”
I spring from my bed, looking around for a pair of jeans and my wallet. “Where’s Claire?” I ask, not wanting to end our call, not wanting to leave Easton alone with his thoughts.
“We got into a fight,” he admits. “It was, it was my fucking fault,” Easton rattles on, swearing up a storm.
I pull on a T-shirt and slide into sandals. Locking the door behind me, I hustle out to my ride. “What happened?”
As soon as I’m behind the wheel, I switch East to Bluetooth and head toward Taps.
“Derek, man. Fucking Derek Reiner. Smarmy motherfucker said some stupid shit to Claire.”
“Like what?” I ask slowly, taking a left-hand turn.
“Shit about when they used to hook up.”
Fuck. “But she shut it down right?”
“Of course she did,” he bellows. “She’d never step out on me.”
“I know that.” I frown, wondering what the hell transpired between East and my sister.
“But she’s still doing work for him. I told her to cut off all fucking communication with him. If he’s going to talk shit to her, mention things about when they… She shouldn’t work with him!”
I park in the parking lot and hurry into Taps. As soon as I clear the threshold, he looks up and I stop in my tracks. His eyes are wild, his expression twisted. His shoulders are tense, his foot tapping restlessly against the bottom rung of the barstool. I narrow in on his hands, noting they’re wrapped tightly around a glass of club soda. Damn. Even from across the bar, I can feel the anger radiating off of him.
I walk to his side and slip onto the barstool.
Pete, the bartender, shoots me a nervous glance.
“I’ll take a Coke, please, Pete.”
He nods and fills up a glass, sets it beside my hand, and heads to the other end of the bar.
“What are you doing here, man?” I ask.
Easton looks at me, glances away, and then turns back, his expression fierce. “I want a fucking drink, Aus. I want to drink, man. I can’t do this. Who the fuck was I kidding to think I could have a real relationship with a woman like your sister?” He drags a hand over his face, his other hand slamming the bottom of his glass against the bar. The club soda spills over, splashing onto his skin.
When it does, I get a whiff of it. “Vodka.” My eyes cut to Easton’s.
He glares back, his expression twisting into regret, his gaze heavy with apology.
“Did you drink it?” I ask.
“No.”
“Not even a sip?” I press.
He clears his throat. “Nothing.”
I look to Pete who gives me a slight nod, confirming Easton’s version of events.
“How long you been sitting here, East?”
“Too long,” he whispers.
“Claire know you’re here?” I demand, knowing I need to ease up. My best friend needs me right now, my teammate needs me, but Claire is my sister and…fuck. I take a large swig of my Coke and clear my throat. “Are you okay?” I lower my voice, taking some of the bite out of my tone.
East shakes his head, slowly pushing the glass of vodka over to me. “No.”
I close my eyes for a breath, dropping my head. Then, I turn to my best friend and give him my best. “Well, let’s get you right again, brother. You want to get out of here?”
23
Chloe
I wake up to a text message from Austin.
When I see his name flash across my screen, I smile. Until I realize that it’s 6 a.m. and he wouldn’t be messaging this early unless something was wrong.
Austin: Hey baby. I’m so sorry. I’m not going to make the train. Explain later. Meet you in New York.
What the hell?
Me: Everything okay?
I frown when ten minutes pass without a response.
Me: Austin, are you okay? Where are you?
I swear when he doesn’t respond and pull myself from my bed. I go through my morning routine of showering and blow-drying my hair. I check that my shoes for the wedding are packed and that I slipped the envelope with Marissa’s wedding gift in my purse. But every two minutes, I glance at my phone.
There’s nothing. No response from Austin. No explanation. Nothing.
Tears prick the corners of my eyes, a mixture of concern and frustration.
At 7 a.m., I text Claire.
Me: Claire, is Austin okay? What’s going on?
My phone rings a second later and I swipe right, desperate for information.
“Claire?”
“Oh, Chloe. It’s awful,” she cries.
My stomach sinks and twists painfully. I sink to the edge of my bed. “What happened?”
“East and I got into a fight. I have no idea where the fuck he is but I’m guessing if you can’t find my brother, then Austin is with him.” She breathes out a sigh. “That actually makes me feel better.”
I frown. “A fight? About what?”
“Ugh. It’s so stupid. Honestly, not worth getting into. But Easton stormed out of here around midnight and I haven’t heard from him since. I barely slept.”
“Are you okay?” I ask, my mind racing.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just, confused, I guess.”
“And you think Austin is with East?” I ask, thinking that it makes the most sense.
“Austin and Noah are the only people Easton would call. But I talked to Indy already and he didn’t call Noah. Noah’s out looking for him now.”
“Shit.” I stand back up, nervous energy zapping through my veins. I glance at the time and close my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Claire. Really. Please, let me know when you hear anything.”
“Of course. I’m sure my brother will get in touch with you.”
“Right,” I say. Yesterday I would have whole-heartedly agreed. But now, glancing at my empty messages, I’m not so sure. Unease trickles down my throat and collects in my chest before pooling in the pit of my stomach. “Hang in there, Claire. Get some sleep.” After I disconnect our call, I stalk aimlessly around my bedroom.
Worry for Easton buzzes in my head but so does a wave of anger. Toward Austin. Why couldn’t he message me that? Why couldn’t he tell me about Easton? Why doesn’t he think it’s important to let me know what’s up when I’m about to get on a train to New York by myself to go to a wedding solo?
Disgust with myself, for my anger, washes over me, making my guilt rise. Dammit. Of course Austin should be with East right now. Easton’s his best friend, most likely his future brother-in-law. And he’s been doing so great, trying so hard, to stick to his sobriety. I don’t know a lot about alcoholism but I know enough to understand that it’s a lifelong struggle, that every day is a series of choices. That it doesn’t just magically go away or get easier.
But why does it have to be today? This moment? Why—
A knock sounds on my door and I glance up as Drew pops his head into my room. “You’re going to wear out the carpet,” he jokes but his eyes are narrowed in concern.
I sigh and plop back down on the edge of my bed. “I need to leave for the train station in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay. Is Austin on his way?” Dre
w closes the door behind him and leans against it.
I blow out a chortle. “Austin can’t make it. He’s going to meet me in New York.”
Drew’s eyebrows dip. “Why?”
I shake my head, wringing my hands together. “I don’t know. His message was cryptic. But I spoke to Claire and she and Easton got into a fight. She thinks Austin is with Easton.”
Drew’s frown deepens. “But she didn’t say where?”
“She doesn’t know.”
“Shit,” he murmurs, glancing at my suitcase. “Okay, well I’ll give you a ride.”
I drop my head, muttering my thanks.
“I know you’re upset.” My brother walks closer, until he’s sitting next to me on the bed. His hand rests in the center of my back and I lean into his side, until my head bumps his shoulder.
“I’m disappointed.”
“You should be.”
“But East needs Austin right now,” I manage to admit.
“Yes,” my brother agrees. “But so do you.”
I look up, surprised by his words. “You don’t think I’m being selfish for being…upset?”
“I think you’re being human.” He tugs the ends of my hair. “You’re used to Steve bailing on you and you’re used to having to manage those emotions. With Austin, it hurts more because you didn’t have the same expectation. Plus, you’ve got your past coloring your outlook. You gotta give him the benefit of the doubt this time, Chlo. He’s never disappointed you before, not even when we were kids.”
I huff out a sigh. “I know.”
“But it’s okay to be upset. I know you don’t want to walk into that wedding by yourself, have to see Steve and Brittney together.”
I drop my head back to my brother’s shoulder. “What if it’s always like this?” I whisper, voicing my concern aloud. “He’s the captain of the team. He’s told me several times that his team comes first, that his team is his life. What if there’s always someone else’s emergency or need? What if I…” I pause, working a swallow.
