by Ayman Ghalit
Carl mumbled in count at first, then he answered, “About 800 Rallods. This roof, which shelters us from cold and blood, is costing us 120 Rallods a day.”
“That’s not good, that totally not good. We have to go to that village, what was its name? oh, Narbiz, we have to leave, today... I mean Now!”
They argued about what if Mort called and said that he didn’t find the keys there? or what if the keys were still in here but they did not notice? or what if Mort got in an accident and died? Carl anxiously sighed after that, and urged, “Let us stop overthinking about this. My opinion is that we stay here for one night, and if Mort didn’t call, then we will pack our stuff at dawn and leave to Narbiz.”
Kaiser and Gael inconveniently agreed.
Piteous Contest
After finishing breakfast, Gael left for a walk after saying that he wants to brood and take a fresh breath that might ease his concern. Carl, left to the reception to pay for the night. Bob and Jack woke up and joined Kais who was still in the kitchen. He told them about what they had agreed on, making them eat quietly at first, but Jack, who confidently smiled while looking at Bob who was facing him, said, “So, you forgot about the challenge? My advice to you is just to quit.”
Bob proudly replied, “It is I who advise you to surrender and succumb to the truth.”
Jack asked, “Kais, do you believe this shit!”
“Oh, this is so embarrassing,” Kais replied, “guys! just quit this foolishness, for God’s sake.”
“Do not involve Kais in our matter, chimp.”
“Oh! I shall accept this word with wide opened arms, for it indicates a deep pitiful sorrow, and it shows a dark envious soul. It is God whom apportioned beauty amongst us. He made me good in look. Don’t blame me.”
“Quit this nonsense at once!” Kaiser urged. “Ladies! Ladies! Calm down, you are all fair and beautify—!”
“Kais, please, stay out of it,” Bob interrupted, “I do find this extremely foolish, but there is someone who doesn’t.”
Kais couldn’t stand it any longer, so he wiped his mouth with a napkin, stood, and said, “Those with brains are surly in comfort.” He then left the hotel, leaving Bob and Jack all alone. Short time after, Jack, who is done eating, stood, stretched his arms, and said, “True, said Kaiser. Those with brain are surly in comfort.” Then he started circling Bob while mocking and taunting him:
“When will you finish your breakfast, Bob, after a year! Oh, how pitiful you are. How much is this redundant fat weight? Only a negligent human can be this fat. Deformed and out of shape. In what point will you realize that you have to stop eating? What’s inside this dangled belly of yours? Do you left it when you want to pee? *chuckled* Am sure you have plenty of anaerobic blind-spots where even light doesn’t reach. *pointing at his sides fat-layers* What is this!? You should search those, someone may have hidden something in there! Or maybe! this is where the pirates hid their treasure! Who knows? *loudly laughed* Truly, I do pity those who reach this point in shape, but then I care not, knowing it is there fault. Insatiable disgusting people, with their never-ending gluttonous behavior.”
He went on mocking his hair, teeth, smell, and look, while Bob was nobly eating in confidant silence. Then, he finished his meal, elegantly wiped his mouth with a napkin, stood, and said: “Indeed, those with brain are surly in comfort… I am not going to respond to your former pathetic behavior, simply because I dislike talking to unsightly things like you. Quick, rush to the mirror, primp, comp, and make up your deficiency in beauty. And as for me, I will simply go like this, without doing any effort. This is called perfection. Hurry up, miserable ape, and don’t waste my time!”
Jack angrily gnashed his teeth, saying “We shall see.”
Bob’s left the hotel with stable aplomb that is derived from the Phugwak’s beauty standards. He was certain Jack will fall, and will fall hard. And after about 10 minutes, Jack met him outside the hotel with neatly nice beautiful look. And with a charming confidant smile, he asked him about Kaiser.
“I don’t know. Let us haste and finish this, your unsightly form is harming my eyes.”
“You sure you wanna do this?” Jack asked.
“You are quitting! Alright, drop on your knees, atone your sins, beg my forgiveness, and submit to my beauty.”
“Oh, Bob. You really fooling yourself. But, as you wish, just let’s get this over with.”
*Jack Waltz, the charmingly good looking young man *according to the human standards* He was so beautiful, it made respect easy-to-earn for him, thus, he didn’t have to be polite, respectful, or one with special skill to achieve it. He was rude with a wild and untamed tongue that doesn’t care about the feelings of the others. He was not bad, nor evil, rather kind and sweet-hearted young man, but the human beauty standards sculpted him to become a shallow person, with nothing but a beautiful face and a pleasing figure. *
*Bob Aris, that hideous and overweight young man *according to the human standards* Repetitive scorns he received in daily basis from the people, either verbally, or abhorrent glimpses from their judgmental eyes, made him accept this fate, and believe that this is how things naturally goes. And were it not for his never-judging friend, Kais, he would be an introvert and home prisoned, far from their soul scratching mockery. Jack was one of Bob’s misery, as he always finds him the shortest route for a joke that never gets boring or old. Easy to laugh at, anytime, anywhere. He also gave him the name Thing; meaning that he is not a human, as he always reminds him “A human must not look like this.” With time, Bob developed an unbreakable immunity toward mockery that somehow honed his sense of humor. But down deep inside him, were screams and cries shouting, ‘I don’t want to live like this.’ And his heaviest burden and ultimate disquieting concerns were these distrustful questions, “Who would accept me as her husband, who is she, where is she, and how?”*
Under the shades of the gleaming tall buildings, they roamed the shopping street while freshened by morning breeze. It didn’t take much for them to pass by a group of young girls. They couldn’t resist the sight of Bob, whom his beauty was clearly the absolute, the neck-tilting, the attention drawer, and the eye-caching one in this matter. And regardless of Jack’s humane beauty, it was as if he didn’t exist, for he got not a single glimpse and drew no attention! Bob was unquestionably the winner in this competition, saying, “Wow! I never thought it would end this fast. So! was it convincing yet? I am the handsome and you are, hmm? what is the opposite of that word? oh! yea, the ugly.”
Jack, who stood still in disbelieve for a brief moment, embraced a strange feeling. It was as if an ember blazingly kindling inside of him. It was jealousy. And what worsens that for him is that he didn’t think, not for even once in his life, that he might envy Bob! After realizing the truth Kaiser mentioned, he answered, “The glimpses they gave you were filled with loathness and disgust, it was so clear.”
Bob sniffed the air twice, and said, “What a refreshing scent! What is it I wonder? Oh! Indeed, it is envy. O, poor Jack, don’t hate me, it is God whom apportioned beauty amongst us, don’t blame me! just accept your fate, because acceptance is the finest remedy for the hideous.”
“Trust me on this, it wasn’t adoration glimpses.”
“Alright, watch this,” said Bob, who confidently went to a girl sitting on a golden chair by a small bloody fountain. She was in her twenties, and was fair and beautiful *according to the human standards* Jack didn’t expect such courage and confidant from Bob, who was talking to her while she was bashfully smiling and twirling her brown hair. Jack, who was enviously burning, went to a small white shack that sells phone accessories. Shortly after, Bob, who was confidently walking as if he won an epic battle or so, came back and showed him her number written on his right palm, saying “Her name is Kathleen, and this is her digits.”
Jack noticed something Bob didn’t pay attention to, and replied, “Wherever, she is ugly anyway.”
“Ugly!? Dude, don’t be this jeal—!”
>
Bob’s eyes swiftly widened when he realized that he is still using Human-Beauty-Standers. And with a malicious grin in his face, Jack answered, “This is the prove that I am the winner in this competition. You are still ugly, Bob. But, if you want to prove me wrong, then go and ask that girl over there.”
Jack pointed to a girl wearing a red dress and was fatter than Bob, who saw her and couldn’t find her attractive in any way. Moments later, they overheard the accessories salesman says, “Dear lord, that is beauty. Holy God! Beautiful face and perfect body, I envy those who enjoy this kind of women. Hell! I even envy her panties… damn, that is one fine woman.”
With disgusted face, Jack looked him, and said, “Why don’t you quit this stupid job of yours, and work as a surveillance camera? You will definitely make a better living.”
“That’s none of your business, ya hideous shite. Why are you hanging out with this fool?”
“Inevitable fate,” Bob answered him.
“Fate!” Jack grunted, “why do not you go and try your luck with that beautiful woman whom perfectly match your beauty? Go to her, or give up.”
“Silence, ugly chimp. I never give up.”
The overweight-women took a turn, and was heading toward the accessory shack. She was walking in a complete confidant as if she owns the place. Bragging about her Phugwakian beauty, with belly reaches her kneecaps, long cheeks, chin is barely visible, almost no neck, piggish nose, and small submerged eyes. The clerk welcomed her with flirting words, “Oh, indeed, it is now the lights are turned on. How can this miserable man serve you, fair maiden?”
“I will take a look.” She said.
Jack smiled and poked Bob, saying, “Come on, go. Go and ask her out, you must have one scale of measurement, do not be a hypocrite!”
Regardless of his confidant that he gained from the Phugwak, insecurity and doubt stormed Bob who could not find her attractive what so ever. The woman then gave Bob a swift glance. Jack noticed that, and urged, “Oh! That’s it, that’s it, Bob. This is the doubtless sign and the clear signal. C’mon, go and ask her out. It may escalate to love and marriage. How cute is that! Let the handsome marry the beautiful, you will produce cutely beautiful little children. Am sure the next generation will be grateful. Go, it will be magical, just like fairy tales.”
“Shut up. Just Let’s Go”
“Excuse me, miss.” Jack asked her, “This guy likes you, but he is too shy to ask you out.”
The woman arrogantly responded after giving Bob and Jack a fierce egoistical look, saying “Trash.”
“Trash, indeed.” said salesman, who pointed at Jack, “You! you are ugly and rude? Heavens! how misfortunate one can be? Get the hell out of here, or I will call the police. This is harassment.”
They peacefully left, and while Jack was cackling, he repeated, “Why didn’t go to her?”
“Shut up… God, you are so irritating.”
On their way back to the hotel, they encountered a group of overweight male-teenagers with clear indiscretion attitude. One of them, out of the blue, rudely pointed at Jack, and said, “Why the fuck are you dressing up so neatly while your face needs a lot of work. You, by god, are the ugliest Phugwak I have ever saw… but, regardless of that, I truly do respect your courage and confidant that made you roam the streets. Please, do this world a favor, and wear a mask. Your ugliness is harming our eyes.” Then, they left while laughing out loud.
“Let’s head back, you’re a living joke.” Bob urged.
Jack smile faded and never went back as he felt horribly bad. His confidant got squished by their mockery, and his spirit vehemently scratched by their laughter. He didn’t say a word after that, rather, he dragged his defeated tail all the way back to the hotel.
Persistent Pursuer
When Kaiser left in the morning, he was still thinking about Alma. He tried to quit thinking about her, but her beauty forced him to go to Mawan’s Cups coffee shop without knowing why. And when he reached the door, he hesitated for a moment, thought about it again, and said to himself, ‘Nothing will harm me, take your chances, Kaiser, or regret will haunt you.’ He took a deep breath, regained his confidence, entered the shop, and got disappointed when he found a young man working at the cashier. He sighed, and rebuked himself, ‘What brought you in here. Head back, you idiot.’ He gone out, and before he goes far, he heard a female voice calling, “You!” He turned back to find out it was Alma, who was sitting on the outside-tables and was enjoying a cup of coffee while checking her phone. He awkwardly pointed at himself, asking, “Me?”
“Yes, you,” she replied with a loathed look on her face.
He confidently posed, cleared his throat, approached her, and said, “Your wish is my command.”
“Shameless and rude.”
“Who? Me! Why? What have I done to acquire such negative names?”
“Yesterday, why didn’t you accept my gift? I noticed you urging your friend to leave.”
Kaiser smiled, pulled a golden chair that is facing Alma, sat, and said, “Alright, let us calm down. And I shall clear this misunderstanding.”
Alma tediously sighed as she started to gather her stuff up to leave, but he urged, “Just give me a chance to explain my behavior.”
“What do you want? I am in a rush”
“Just give me a chance!”
“What do you want!”
“Alright, let’s start from the beginning. My name is Kaiser, you can call me Kais.”
Alma didn’t push the conversation further, rather she kept silent with repulsed look on her face. Kais let his head down, exhaled, and said, “And you are, Alma.”
“What is it that you want? …what is your name again? oh who the hell cares.”
He kept silent for a bit while thinking about a proper answer. Hesitated at first, but said there is nothing to lose, and followed his heart without concerning about the consequences. He looked her in the eyes, and said, “I want you, Alma.”
With cringed face, she replied, “And what the hell do you want from me?”
His heart starts throbbing fast, but he calmed himself, and said, “I adore you, Alma… I truly do.”
Alma, who cringed a bit, faintly let out a sarcastic wow, and said, “What a a forward young man.”
“It is true.” he added, “yesterday, when I saw you, I swear, I couldn’t think about anything that isn’t you.”
She sarcastically applauded, and said, “Sheesh! we got a romantic Phugwak right here.”
“Why are acting like this?”
“Listen, you. I don’t know you, and I don’t care about you, therefore, be gone from my sight.”
“Why are you so harsh on someone who said the truth? I swear, that I didn’t believe in First-Sight-Love till I met you. I adore you, Alma… is it a sin if I said so? And if it so, then I shall not repent, nor will I ever seek absolution.”
Staggered by his unexpected words, she hummed in admiration, and said “Such poetic one we got in here.”
“Listen, Alma. We got plenty of time to get well acquainted. Just accept me in your realm. Let’s see how much further we can go. As for me, I can clearly envision our relationship flourishing and blooming.”
“Our relation! wow! and I am not even consulted on that! Alright, tell me, you, what is your name again? Oh! I almost forgot, I don’t care… what made you adore me, though you do not even know me?”
“You have a strange and strong force that I couldn’t help but to succumb to.”
“Ooh! and what was that ‘strange strong force?”
“It is your beauty, Alma. By god, you are the most beautiful- *he was about to say human, but redressed his thoughts* -Phugwak that my eyes have ever laid upon. True, you have the most desirable view for he who want to appreciate the bless of sight.”
Alma was smiling, but after hearing his answer, the smile swiftly faded to be replaced with a serious face. She cleared her throat, and said “Listen, you. Don’t you ever say to an ugly girl, who knows t
hat she is an ugly on, like me, that she is not. Especially ‘most desirable view.’ I am not the one whom you can easily trick or lie to. And love doesn’t mix well with lies.”
Kaiser’s eyes widened when he fully understood the Phugwakian beauty scale! He stuttered at first, but then he persistently stood his ground, and replied, “I swear, Alma. I said the truth, what can I do to prove to you that you are?”
“To shut your mouth, and leave.”
“Ouch! …that’s harsh.”
They paused silent for a moment, Kaiser then felt awkward and confused. She took a sip from her coffee, and said, “Listen… there are rules that you will never find in any book, but it’s out there plainly under the sun. One of them; being ugly is a curse, as the ugly one is almost and always wrong. Not fair indeed, but this is the natural pattern of this world, and sadly, this is how it goes. *she took another sip* Another rule is that beauty is a bless, as the beautiful is almost and always right. Life will be way too easy for the beautiful, especially if it was for a female. It would be too easy in a way that you can’t even imagine. And if I were beautiful as you said, you wouldn’t find me single at the age of 25, and relentlessly being chased by the ghost of spinster. If I were truly beautiful, you wouldn’t find me working in this stinky shop for more than three years, with no luck of finding the right one whatsoever. If I were truly beautiful, you will find me, or she who looks like me on that poster *Pointing at an advertising poster with a fat ugly woman in his eyes* …that is beauty.”
“You are indeed drowning in insecurity.” he replied.
“No, it is not a matter of security or confidence, it is a matter of actuality and self-acceptance. I have accepted the curse of being an ugly girl in this treacherous planet that objectives women and sees them only as a vacant matter while demanding the impossible perfection from them.”
