by Karen Noland
Jake gave a slight flick of his wrists, and the team picked up their pace as they came to the main road. He was silent for a few moments before he looked at her pointedly and said, “of course you can’t do it.”
“Oh, I know I have you and Jonathan, but....”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Kate stared straight ahead. Jake was getting older. He knew it, and so did she. As strong as he was, he tired easily, and last winter he had had a mild heart attack. She worried about him every time he was out. Jonathan was a boy. He was a hard and diligent worker, but he was shy and slow mentally. He simply didn’t have the mind or the aptitude to run a full ranch operation. “So you think I should marry again?” She asked quietly, not daring to meet his eyes.
“For someone who spends so much time reading that little Bible there, you sure seem to miss the point sometimes!” Jake sounded both amused and exasperated. “Isn’t there a place in there somewhere that says sumthin about, ‘I can do all things through Jesus?’ Well, why wouldn’t that apply to runnin’ a ranch as much as it would to anything else? Have you tried asking Him for a little help?”
“Oh, Jake!” Kate laughed, “every day! And you know, I think I’ll just keep on asking!”
***
The rest of the trip passed uneventfully. As they approached the growing town of Fallis, the sense of anticipation grew. Kate felt a gnawing angst that she didn’t understand. Was it the prospect of seeing Matt Johnson again, or was there something in the air? Whatever it was, she tried to put it from her mind as Jake pulled up before the General Mercantile. A small, plain woman with dark hair was sweeping the boardwalk in front of the store. As the wagon approached, her face was transformed by a radiant smile and sparkling eyes. Placing the broom against the wall, she wiped her hands on her crisp white apron as Kate stepped down from the buckboard.
“Kate!”
“Martha!”
“It is so good to see you. I’ve missed you these last months.” Kate was enveloped in a perfumed hug from her friend. “Jo, come up here. I have some horehound in the jar, go get yourself a piece.”
“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Jansen. Can I get one for Jon, too?”
“Certainly, dear.” Martha took Kate by the hand and led her into the cool, dark store as Jo scampered ahead. Finding the candy as promised, she grabbed the treasure and fairly flew down the steps to find Jonathan. “She hasn’t changed any, has she?” laughed Martha.
“Not a whit!” agreed Kate. Standing in the dim interior of the large mercantile, Kate felt a sense of calm steal over her as she and Martha renewed their friendship. “I didn’t think you would be open today. Where’s that new husband of yours?”
“Oh, Lars is helping the other men get the tables ready for the big picnic.” Martha blushed and smiled, showing a charming dimple. “I’m not really open today. I was just getting ready to go to meeting when I saw your wagon coming, and I just knew Jo would want that horehound.”
“I know you, Martha, you didn’t open the store just for that! What’s up?”
Martha paused for a moment, taking in her friend’s sun bronzed complexion and calloused hands. “Kate, you’ve been doing all that ranch work yourself, haven’t you?”
Casting her eyes down and hiding her hands within the folds of her skirt, Kate replied softy, “We had two hands working there when....when it happened. They stayed on for a bit, but eventually they drifted off, said there were ‘other opportunities,’” she shrugged, “but I know they just couldn’t take working for a woman.”
“Humph! Typical. So? Have you tried to hire help?”
“Oh, I tried at first, but it was always the same thing. They’d stay on a week or two, until taking orders from me got to be too much for them, then off they’d go.”
“You sure that’s what it was?” Martha asked, brows raised.
“What do you mean?”
“I overheard a conversation a few weeks ago that I did not like!”
“What about?” Kate prompted when Martha paused, seeming to ponder whether to continue.
Eyeing her friend speculatively, she took deep breath before continuing, “A couple of punchers were in the store, one says how he’d been working for ‘that woman what lost her husband’ - that got my attention, mind you - and he let on how old Mr. Johnson offered him half again as much pay if he’d quit her ranch and tell all the other boys to do the same.”
Kate gasped, “But he can’t....”
“Now, Kate, I know how you feel! Hear me out.”
“Martha, I can’t believe that Matt ....” the bell above the door jangled brassily startling the women into silence.
Martha glanced at the man who had entered the store, shook her head slightly and drew Kate further back. Looking over her shoulder, Kate saw a tall, lean man with thick brown hair, and a hard, worn look about him. She gave her friend a questioning look.
“Kate, you need help out there.” Martha continued, ignoring the quizzical look.
“I know, but I’m not even sure I can afford it right now.”
“You can still offer room and board, can’t you?”
“Well, yes, there’s the bunkhouse still, and Nana does cook enough to feed a veritable army!” Kate laughed in spite of herself. Something about Martha’s barely contained exuberance piqued Kate’s curiosity. “Why?”
“Well, a drifter came in a few days ago. He seems a nice enough fellow, and he really needs a job. I gave him a few odds and ends to do around here to keep him in town. Once I decided he was all right, well, I explained about you, and the situation out at your place.”
“Martha Louise Jansen! You had no right...”
“Oh, Hush! You sound just like a spoiled child!” Martha’s eye flashed, but she continued to smile. “Here I go trying to help, and this is the thanks I get?”
Kate maintained her defenses, but she listened as Martha continued.
“Like I said, he seems all right, and he knows all about Matt Johnson, so unlike some of the local hands, he’ll be more likely to stay around. What do you say? At least meet him, talk to him?”
Kate sighed, weighing out the options. Her gaze drifted to the man waiting by the counter. Once again she felt the cold fear snaking its icy tendrils into the pit of her stomach. “We’re going to be late for church meeting. I really don’t - oh, all right, I’ll talk to him at least. After church? You need to go take care of your customer.”
“Good!” Martha’s eyes gleamed. “I’ll see you at the meeting.”
Kate hugged her friend and turned to leave, brushing by the waiting man. As she passed she could feel him watching her. Looking up she encountered clear green eyes that held a quiet sadness, and a grim resolution. The intensity in his face caused a stirring within her that she didn’t quite understand. Dropping her eyes, she quickly left the dim atmosphere of the quiet store for the bright warm sunshine and bustling activity of the streets of Fallis.
Following the crowds, she found the schoolhouse where the Sunday meeting was to be held. It was a charming white building with a wide portico, adorned with window boxes bursting with the color of early blooming flowers and trailing green ivy. Kate smiled at the simple beauty and was filled with a sense of respect for a teacher that would find the time to create such an inviting place for her students. She knew that it would soon be time for Jo to start attending a regular school. At only six years old, Jo was already learning to read and write with a little coaching from Nana and Kate, but with her sharp little mind, she needed to be in a real school. Maybe she would see about sending her to school here in the fall. Four miles would be awfully far, but maybe somehow they could find a way.
As Kate stood lost in thoughts of school years and Martha’s proposal, she was startled by a hand upon her sleeve. Flinching at the touch, she instinctively reached to protect her arm.
“I’m sorry. I certainly didn’t intend to frighten you,” Matt breathed into her ear. “You look absolutely beautiful, far too pretty for church!”
“Thank you, Mr. Johnson,” she said coldly, her heart pounding.
“Shall we?” Matt asked, taking her by the elbow. Without waiting for an answer, he steered her into the small room, and found them seats side by side on the hard wooden benches. The schoolhouse was already filled and they were forced to sit closely. Jo and the Insleys were already seated a few rows ahead.
“Momma, here we are,” Jo called waving madly.
“My daughter....” Kate began.
“She’s with your help, she’ll be fine. Besides, there’s really no room left up there.” Matt protested.
“Your mother is going to keep me company, Sweetheart. Now be a good girl, and turn around and listen to the preacher.”
Jo scowled at the man. As Kate prayed that her daughter wouldn’t stick her tongue out, Jo turned a baleful glance on her mother; Kate shrugged. Jo turned back around, plopping into the seat and crossing her arms angrily. Kate felt the cold settle permanently in the depths of her very being as Matt leaned back relaxing slightly against her.
“Oh, Lord, is this what you would have for me? Have you sent a husband in the form of this man? I don’t even like him, much less love him. Lord, you are the great provider, and I know that I don’t always understand your ways, but I trust you. Could you just maybe make it a little easier to see Your hand here?”
The congregation rose and began singing “Rock of ages cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.” The words which normally filled her soul with peace and hope, seemed hard and shrill as she stood next to this cattleman. So many emotions flooded her. Martha’s words haunted her memory. She stole a glance up at his face as he sang in a rich baritone. His eyes were hard, as though hiding something within.
The singing over, they sat, and the circuit preacher began a sermon on God’s redeeming love. She found it hard to concentrate. Her mind wandered as she heard those words, redeeming love, taking her back to a time when she had been sure that there was no love left in the world, from God or anyone. In that horrible time after the fire had swept through their home, killing her mother and father in a raging inferno that had threatened to take her own life as well, she knew that a loving God could not exist. She would never forget the screams of agony coming from her mother’s room as the flames engulfed her parents. Beating upon their door she had suffered severe burns over her arms and chest, before being overcome by the smoke and losing all consciousness.
She awoke three days later in pain and confusion, Mrs. Insley ministering to her burns as tenderly as she ministered to her aching heart. Her parents had already been buried and the few items salvaged from the smoldering remains of their home were safely packed into a trunk in the corner of the room where Kate lay. The Insleys had taken her in. They had always loved the little golden haired girl that had played down the street. She would pick wild flowers and bring them to Nana to set upon the table on the porch where they would sip lemonade on sweltering summer afternoons. They had watched her grow into a charming, beautiful young woman. The Insleys had been as surprised as her own parents when she announced her intentions to attend university and study for a law degree. Now Kate needed them, and they were prepared to give all they had to make sure she survived.
As the days passed, and Kate grew stronger, she longed to know how she had survived that awful fire. Nana could not have saved her, that she knew. She was not strong enough to have pulled her from the flames, and Jake had been away on one of his freight hauling trips.
One Sunday afternoon while Nana and Jonathan were attending church, Kate sat quietly in her bed reading her Bible. It had been a gift from her parents on the day she was born, and she never went anywhere without it. She had tucked it safely in her pocket that fateful night as she returned from another late night studying at the library.
“Lord, I don’t understand,” she prayed. “How could you let this happen? I should have been there! What did my parents do to deserve this? What did I do, Lord? Are you there? Can you hear me?” she screamed her frustrations.
Knowing in her heart that her Lord had not deserted her, she still railed at Him, not understanding how He could stand by and let the agony continue. She looked with disgust at the weeping flesh that covered her arms, the physical scars would be horrific, but what about the scars on her soul, she wondered. Tears streamed from her eyes and she buried her head in her pillow.
A rich quiet voice filled her ears. “May I come in, please?”
She had looked up into the compassionate blue eyes of Will Shaughnessey.
“Will, what are you doing here?” she asked wiping at her eyes and blowing her nose on the hanky he held out. Will and Kate had grown up together. Their families had lived next door to each other since they were both in diapers.
“Just thought it was about time I came to see if it was worth my time pulling you out of there.”
“You...” she gasped.
“Well, I thought twice about it, you know, seeing as how you put that frog down my shirt once. And you were awful confound heavy - but I decided if I still planned on marrying you I better get you out of there,” he joked.
“Marrying me? What are you talking about?”
“Aw, c’mon, Kate, you know I’ve been in love with you since we were ten or twelve. What do you say, will you marry me?”
“Will, look at me! I’ll never be the same, I’m scarred, and burned, and....”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me! Besides, I don’t love you,” she finished weakly, casting her eyes down.
“You like me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!”
“Good. Then you can learn to love me. My love will be enough for both of us until God’s redeeming love brings you around!”
“But...”
“I’ve always thought a winter wedding would be nice. How about December? You ought to be pretty well healed up by then.” And so they had married, and God’s redeeming love had saved her. She had grown to love Will with a strong and faithful love.
“... for God’s redeeming love!” The preacher was closing, and the congregation began stirring around her. She shook her head as Matt reached his hand down to her. This hard, cold man was not Will, she would never grow to love him as she had Will. Standing, she stepped away from him and looked for her family. Jake appeared at her elbow. Almost shaking with relief, she made her excuses to Matt and allowed Jake to escort her out towards the large oak tree beneath which the tables were laid for the afternoon picnic.
***
Nana had spread the cloth in a secluded area just away from the main tables. The baskets were already open and Jo and Jonathan were arguing about who could eat the most pie. Sinking slowly to the ground, she closed her eyes and breathed in the rich earthy aroma of sun-warmed grass, new spring flowers, and the thousand myriad scents of fried chicken, fruit pies, and fresh baked breads. She smiled at the petty bickering between the children, and soaked in the love of these people she called family.
“You all right, Kate?” Jake asked.
“I am now.”
“Well, good. Then p’rhaps you could see to giving me a hand with setting out this food!” Nana said. “Jon, you go draw water from the pump there, and Jo, I want those napkins folded proper. Just because this here’s a picnic, don’t give us no reason to behave like heathens.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” all three chimed in at once. Bursting into gales of laughter, they each set about their appointed tasks, while Nana supervised with an exacting eye.
***
They ate and laughed and renewed acquaintances. As the afternoon wore on, Kate sat in the shade beneath the old oak, watching the children run and play. Jake dozed contentedly nearby while Nana busied herself with knitting. The lazy drone of bees working a nearby patch of pink and white clover had all but lulled Kate to sleep, when she was startled awake by a familiar voice.
“Kate, there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Martha called. “Come and walk with me a wh
ile.”
“I’ll be back soon,” she called to Nana. Rising and brushing the grass from her full skirts, she joined her friend, already anticipating the coming meeting.
“He’s waiting for us at the livery. Lars is there with him, so there’s no need to worry. Just talk to him. You need the help, and I know you’ll like him.” Martha fairly bubbled with enthusiasm. Kate was as nervous and reticent as Martha was gay and excited.
“Let’s get this over with then.”
“Kathleen Rose Shaughnessey!” Martha mocked her, “You straighten up that attitude, young lady,” she smiled.
Kate gave her a withering look as they approached the large gray barn that served as both Livery and blacksmith shop. Two men stood in front, along with a large grey gelding, saddled and tied loosely to the rail. They were examining the horse’s front feet, not noticing as the women drew near.
“Hello, Lars,” Kate smiled. She truly liked Martha’s tall, lanky husband. He was as large and fair and quiet as she was small and dark and talkative. They were a unique and special couple.
“Miss Kate,” he nodded shyly.
“Kate, I’d like you to meet Luke Josey. Luke, this is Mrs. Shaughnessey.”
The other man set down the hoof he had been inspecting. Straightening and turning to face the women, Kate was met by the same green eyes she had seen in the mercantile. A muscle twitched near his jaw as he held out his hand, “Pleased to meet you, ma’am.” His voice was rich and warm.
“Mr. Josey.” She reached out to shake his hand, and found hers completely engulfed in his firm grasp. A long moment of silence ensued as each studied the other. Finally retrieving her hand, she took a step back.
“Well, somebody say something!” Martha’s sharp command seemed to break a spell.
“I understand you could use some help on your ranch.”
“I can’t offer you much.”
“I don’t need a lot.”
“I have a small bunkhouse, meals, and when I can I’ll pay twenty dollars for a month’s work. It’s hard work.” Glancing at his horse, she added, “If you’d like, I can provide a horse in place of one month’s pay.”
