by Hazel Parker
We cried at the loss of Uncle, the club bankroller.
We cried at the loss of Uncle, the friend.
We cried so much that we lost track of anyone else in the room. The entirety of the Savage Saints could have entered, or everyone could have left for the night, and it wouldn’t have mattered. Uncle’s death was the kind of thing that just seemed to make the entire world stop. Nothing else mattered; not our safety, not the club, nothing.
We may have said that the club was family, but this was actual family that we had just lost.
At some point, Marcel pulled back from me and went over to the table, leaning forward as if he was going to throw up. Frankly, I probably was going to at some point as well.
“Jack,” Marcel said. His voice was still full of sobs, but it was becoming more steeled, less prone to shakiness. “We tried your way. We tried to be peaceful with our brother. But now, he’s burned that bridge forever. I have no patience for him, and I will have no patience for him ever again. I will not stop until he is six feet under with Uncle. He just killed one of his own; if that doesn’t say he’s our enemy, then nothing will.”
I had no disagreement with anything Marcel said. Kyle had made his choice; I had made mine. He had rejected my actions. It was one thing to strike at club members, but to kill family…
Yes, Uncle could be a giant pain in the ass. Uncle could cause a lot of friction. He had a terrible reluctance and refusal to apologize.
But how the fuck was that grounds for killing him? How the fuck did that justify a decision to take his life?
This had gone from a nuisance and a political battle to a battle of blood. Marcel was right. I wanted to believe my brother could be redeemed, but at this point, it seemed all but certain this was going to end with at least one of the three Stones in our generation dead.
“I am going to call the Savage Saints in Las Vegas and California as soon as I have some self-control and I stop crying,” he said. “And I am going to demand that they come here and end this fight. I am not giving them a choice in the matter. If you have anything to say to Kyle before they come, do it, because once they come, I’m not saying anything to him as a brother. He is my enemy. And he will be treated as such.”
“I understand,” I said. “I agree with everything you’re saying, Marcel.”
“Good,” he said. He turned to me, his eyes red, his cheeks stained. “Talk to Niner if you want to know what happened. It’s too painful for me to recount here.”
With that, he stormed out of the room, presumably to better collect himself before he called our partners out west. Fitz had already left the room at some point. Niner stood far away in the corner, ever the symbol of stoic coldness. Only he had witnessed the loss of some of his brothers in arms before, and only he could maintain the composure needed not to lose his shit here.
“Niner,” I said, nodding to him.
He came forward, his face taut and expressionless.
“I even hesitate to ask this, but I feel like I have to know,” I said. “What happened?”
“I assume you want to know everything?” Niner said.
I nodded. I knew there were going to be parts that I wished I didn’t hear, but at this point, I figured I might as well get everything possible. There was no reason to hide anything from me; it wasn’t like I would suddenly collapse and be unable to function if I heard something too traumatic.
“The Bloodhounds went to Uncle’s apartment and tortured him. For how long, I don’t know, but the body shows signs of serious trauma and torture. After some time, they eventually killed him by what I guess would be blood loss. They tossed his body just outside here a little while ago. Marcel and I found the body at the same time. I would not recommend looking at the body, Biggie. It’s not a pretty sight.”
Shit. Yeah, that’s…
What the fuck, Kyle?
Why?
I knew he acted like a dick, but really? Did it have to come to this?
“Well, thanks for telling me,” I said. “Tough, but I’m glad I know.”
Niner just nodded. Seconds later, Marcel came back in. The tears had faded from his face, and aside from his red eyes, there were no other signs that he had been crying. He had assumed the manner of tough president ready to make difficult decisions.
“I just got off the phone with Richard and Trace,” he said. “They’re flying out tomorrow. We should have the entirety of the Savage Saints at this building by tomorrow evening.”
I was in no mood to smile. But I sure felt like we might just get the justice we needed with this move now.
“Then I guess it’s time to go to war.”
Chapter 12: Lilly
I didn’t hear from Jack all night.
He may have told me not to stay up all night, but unfortunately, that was exactly what happened. I kept wondering if there was something I could have done to make him feel better, something that I could have said that would give him a little bit of peace through the evening. Even if I objectively knew that something as terrible as what he was going through could not be helped tonight, I still beat myself up for it.
By the time the sky started to turn a brighter shade of blue, I knew I wasn’t going to get any work done this Monday. Even if I managed to get some shuteye, I wasn’t going to wake up in a good mood. I wasn’t going to wake up feeling rejuvenated and ready to work. The only thing that was going to make me feel better was to hear from Jack and know that he was doing…
Well, maybe not OK, but at least he was coping.
But that text never came. And when I finally did fall asleep just before seven in the morning, I did so wondering if the text would ever come.
* * *
As soon as I woke up, I rolled over and checked my phone for any messages. I had just one.
Kyle.
Goddamnit, this is the last fucking person I want to talk to right now. Seriously, why him? Why?
“Hey, I know Saturday didn’t go well. I don’t expect you to go on a date with me. I just want to see you and apologize. Can we do coffee this morning?”
He’d actually sent the text early, just a few minutes after I had passed out. It was only about eleven in the morning, so it wasn’t like I had missed his text from days ago. I really didn’t want to respond.
But maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe it would behoove me to take such a quick meeting and clear my mind. Maybe it would let me work.
Probably not, to be honest, but it wasn’t like I was going to get any work done in my current state.
“Sure. Slept in a bit. I’ll be at P.M. Coffee in about thirty. Come by any time then.”
I put my phone down and sighed. I’d check his likely instant reply as soon as I went through my morning routine.
Everything that I did, from brushing my teeth to putting my contacts in, felt like the most sluggish thing that I had ever done in my life. Coffee wouldn’t perk me up; tea wouldn’t perk me up; a good text from either of my parents wouldn’t perk me up. Only one thing was going to get me in gear, and it wasn’t anything that was coming right now.
I knew that his uncle was dead. At the risk of sounding crass, there was just no way that he wasn’t dead. Jack would have said something by now if he wasn’t.
But it also sounded like it was sudden, like he was the victim of a crime or a freak accident. If that had happened, was it somehow connected to the Savage Saints? Did Jack know this was a possibility?
I didn’t want to be that girl who interfered and asked way too many questions, but I also didn’t want just to be sitting on my butt, waiting for Jack to get back to me. I wanted to know how I could help comfort him. But if he didn’t want to…
When I left my apartment and headed for P.M. Coffee, I knew that I was going through the motions. I wasn’t going to accomplish anything of note today. At most, I’d get through one, maybe two chapters of editing. But if I could kill time, maybe I’d go a while without checking my phone, and maybe that would give Jack the chance to reach out to
me.
Or maybe it would just make the probable silence that much more disappointing.
As soon as I opened the door to the coffee shop, I saw Kyle already sitting in a booth. His eyes looked forlorn, and he, too, looked like he hadn’t slept much the night before. Seeing him in this state, though, didn’t elicit a lot of sympathy. Heaven knew that if he tried to comfort me for looking the same way, he’d probably think that I’d owe him another night out or something.
I pretended not to see him at first, making a beeline for the line so I could put an order in for my coffee. I had never been so rude as to outright ignore someone; even when I was in an extraordinarily foul mood or wronged by someone, I tried my best to not be a bitch. But damn, was it tempting to just grab my coffee and walk out. I was as short-tempered as I had ever felt.
Alas, a quick turn of my head showed that Kyle was looking at me, and I could not escape eye contact.
“Hey,” he said.
His voice sounded heavy, almost like he had also lost someone. This tempered my anger a bit, but I couldn’t exactly say that it made me feel sympathetic toward him. For the most part, I was still annoyed at having to deal with whatever bullshit was bound to come my way for being here.
“Hi,” I said. “Just to be clear, I can talk for about fifteen minutes, and then I have to work.”
“No, I understand,” he said, but there was something very dreary in his voice that suggested he was just saying it to get me to agree. “I understand.”
Feeling more than a little unsettled, I just remained by the coffee bar, waiting for my drink to come out. It could not come quickly enough.
Eventually, the barista brought me my black coffee, and with some regret for having responded to that text, I sat across the table from Kyle, who looked even worse up close than he did when I’d entered. I had said that he looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep, but now it looked like he was carrying the burden of something heavy.
“You know, I had a wonderful time with you on Saturday,” he said, unable to look me in the eye suddenly. “I know that I came across as demanding and expecting, but—”
“Kyle, look, I appreciate the apology, but I need to put it into place right now that I am not going on another date with you, OK?”
I hated to be so straightforward. I knew it would crush him, and Kyle, of all people, was the last person I wanted to crush. But it seemed like every other approach was not working, and if Kyle was going to be so dense, then I needed to use a hammer to break through said density.
“Why not?” he asked as if this was a problem he could argue logically against. “You and I, we’re two single people. We share a common interest.”
“We’re not two single people.”
No, Jack and I weren’t official. We weren’t anything that could be described as exclusive. We hadn’t even had the talk yet, let alone gone on enough dates to even be in a position to have such a talk.
But as far as I was concerned, as far as saying whatever I needed to say to get Kyle away from me, I was in a relationship now.
“You’re…not?”
I had seen him crying from being bullied. I had seen him say that he was never going to come back to the school. I had seen him not even try on tests because he had become so nihilist.
But I had never seen Kyle seemingly so depressed and upset as he was right now.
“No, I’m not,” I said firmly. “I’m seeing someone, Kyle. And you need to accept that. You can be a friend of mine, but you can’t be my boyfriend.”
I hated even saying that. I guess I wasn’t quite ready to be that much of a bitch to him.
“Who?” Kyle said. “I know you weren’t seeing anyone before early last week. I know—”
“How?” I said, becoming unnerved at how much I worried Kyle had been watching and stalking me. “How did you know these things?”
“I mean, I just…did,” he said.
Bullshit. He’s hiding how much he’s followed me or watched me. What the fuck is this guy’s problem?
“Kyle, you can’t be doing this. You can’t—”
“Who is this guy that you’re seeing?” Kyle said. “I need to know.”
“No, you really don’t. Your fifteen minutes are running out, Kyle.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, seemingly flipping a switch from being aggressive to suddenly being deferential. I wasn’t buying it, though. I knew that he was just trying to play a part to make me feel bad and open up to him. “I’m sorry. But can you just tell me the name of the person you’re seeing? And I promise I’ll leave you as soon as you tell me.”
I rolled my eyes. I still didn’t believe he would leave me alone. But pushing back on him would certainly mean that he wouldn’t leave me.
“Jack.”
Kyle nodded, but then something in him seemed to click. His eyes got incredibly disturbing, almost like a rage in him was boiling from within and threatening to spill to the surface.
“Jack Stone?”
“I’m sorry?” I said. I never did find out Jack’s last name.
“Big dude. Bald. Beefy. Laughs like a fucking clown.”
“Kyle!”
“I fucking knew it!” he snapped, slamming his hands on the table. People in the coffee shop had turned to look at us, but Kyle was either oblivious or just did not give two shits if people noticed. “You’re fucking dating my brother.”
That’s why Jack looked so familiar.
Kyle’s brother…
The one who bullied him as a kid…
“It’s like life wants to laugh in my face and see how much it can fuck me over,” Kyle said, laughing in such a way that I wondered if he would suddenly start crying. “First, I’m born the runt of the family. Then my brothers get all this good luck. And now I’m to find out that the one girl that actually cared about me is now dating my brother? My fucking brother? Jack?”
I was about to defend myself before I thought better of it. There wasn’t anything I could say that could make this situation better, and frankly, I didn’t owe Kyle an explanation or an apology. I might have said I was sorry for the situation if he hadn’t been such a creep, but that ship had sailed so long ago that there was no chance of bringing it back.
“Why?” he said. “Why?”
“Because we connected, that’s why,” I said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Kyle, I have work to do—”
“You fucking betrayed me.”
Oh, God almighty, what the fuck? Why did I ever give this weirdo the time of day?
“I don’t owe you shit, Kyle,” I said. My anger was rapidly getting out of control. I only had so much bullshit I could tolerate before I lost my mind. “I am an independent woman who can make her own choices. I helped you when you were bullied. I did that because I don’t like to see people getting hurt. But that was years ago. I don’t owe you shit. You don’t owe me shit. There’s no fucking betrayal here. Understood?”
“You’re dating the worst part about my life,” Kyle said, laughing at his own words. “I can’t fucking believe this. Bad enough Marcel gets out of jail and lands on his own two feet like it’s nothing. Now I have to fucking find out that my other brother is dating you?”
“Your brother is a gentleman who has a sense of humor, unlike you.”
I immediately regretted the words. I was putting myself on Kyle’s shit list. I wouldn’t have cared except for his standing as a politician; I wasn’t about to believe in some nutty conspiracy theory about what he could do to me, but he certainly had a lot more levers to pull that could make my life hell in his spot.
“Well, the truth comes out, huh?” he snarled. “Even the angels are bitches. Even the so-called good girls are nothing but a bunch of lying whores.”
I didn’t need to stand for this anymore. I opened my laptop and my story files, even knowing full well that I was in no emotional state to write. Anger was overtaking me far too much—so much so that I could barely see the words on my Word document.
“Fuck
, this makes so much sense, doesn’t it? You play the long con, bitch. You defend me to make me like you, only to then turn around and fuck my brother. Why don’t you just tell me he was good in bed while you’re at it, Lilly? Why don’t you just crush my soul?”
I slammed the laptop closed. So much for getting any work done here.
“You think I was thinking about what I was going to be like now when we were kids, Kyle?” I said, seething with anger. “You think that I am that cruel? Maybe you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Maybe you’re the one that needs to realize what kind of change you need to make if you don’t want to have women walking away from you.”
“Whatever,” Kyle said. “It won’t matter in a few days anyway.”
That sounded fucking ominous.
And then I remembered that Jack’s uncle, obviously, would have been Kyle’s uncle. The connection was obvious and self-evident, but I’d been blinded by rage and hadn’t made the connection until just now.
“My hope, Kyle, is that you’re just stressed about your uncle’s death. I’m going to allow that you’re having a stressful time—”
“I’m fucking glad he’s gone.”
He’s gone?
Did you fucking order a hit on him?
“And anyway, how do you know about that?”
“We’re done here,” I said, stuffing my laptop into my bag and walking away. Kyle tried to stop me by grabbing my arm, but I moved past him, and as creepy and disturbing as he was being, even he didn’t seem willing to create a scene in a restaurant like this.
“Lilly!” he shouted, following me out the door.
But I was already hailing a cab, so he couldn’t follow me.
“Get away from me!” I said. “Don’t contact me again, Kyle. You’ve got problems. I hope you get the help that you need, but you’ve got some major issues, and I don’t want to be the one to fix them.”
“You’re making the worst fucking mistake of your life!” he shouted as I got in the car door. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll break up with my brother before it’s too late!”
His last few words were muffled by the car door being shut, but I understood full well what he was saying.
