by Hazel Parker
Thankfully, Jack started responding immediately.
“Hey, give me ten minutes and I’ll head over. You OK?”
No, I’m not OK. Your brother found out I’m dating you, hates the world because of it, and tried to chase me down. I think he’s going to come and do something cruel and horrible to me or to someone else, and I don’t want anything to do with it. And if I tell you all of this via text message, you’re going to think I’m fucking crazy and you’re never going to want to see me again.
“I’m fine for now. Please come as quickly as you can.”
I then put my phone far away from me, on the kitchen counter, and went and sat on my couch. I turned on the TV and started watching a baseball game, but it did little other than provide a small measure of distraction. The distraction didn’t even work that well, anyway; every little noise, every little comment, every little abnormality made me think that Kyle was on his way.
That was the worst part about this whole deal with Kyle. If you asked me what the objective chances were that he would try anything more than to speak to me in person, I would say under ten percent. I could see him maybe trying to corner me or say something cruel, but I didn’t see him being the type of guy who would rape me, hurt me, or kill me.
But subjectively? If you asked me what my fear believed? Oh, one hundred percent, Kyle was going to do something cruel and evil to me. It was going to be awful, scar me forever, and prevent me from ever functioning normally again. Oh, and I’d have to say goodbye to Jack.
I didn’t want Kyle to rule my life from a distance. I didn’t want to let this affect me beyond tonight, maybe the next couple of days. But I had a terrifying feeling that, at a minimum, I’d have to start looking for a new coffee shop sometime soon.
The game went through three innings before a knock at my door made me jump up in surprise. I slowly went over to the peephole and stared out. It was most definitely Jack. I quickly opened the door, ushered him in, and shut it and locked it behind me.
“You OK?” he said. “What happened?”
“Jack…” I said. I hated to say the following four words, knowing how much men feared and loathed them, but there was no better way to say it. “We need to talk.”
His shoulders sagged, and his Adam’s apple rose with a swallow. He put his hands in his pockets, shuffled awkwardly, and nodded.
“OK?” he said, more of a question than an answer.
“Come, let’s sit,” I said. As soon as we had, though, I had nothing else preventing me from spilling the beans. “Jack, this is not a breakup talk, just to be clear. But it is a ‘we need to be aware of everything around us’ talk.”
That at least got him to relax, the fearful expression on his face ameliorated somewhat. But it wasn’t like he went from that to cheerful and jocular.
“Before we went on our date, I had a date the night before with someone that you know. It was not a good date in the slightest, and I never, ever intend to see that person again. Unfortunately, though, I did see that person again. It was a pity meetup, a feeling that I didn’t want him to suffer badly. You can criticize me if you want; I criticize myself enough.”
“No, please, it’s OK,” Jack said. “We’ve all made bad decisions.”
Not like this. Not like what you’re about to hear. It’s not like you dated my non-existent sister who wound up killing my mother.
“Well, the pity meetup was a disaster in every sense of the word. And…Jack, I just have to tell it to you straight. The date was with your brother, Kyle.”
Jack’s expression immediately went dour. His head collapsed forward, his breathing intensified, and his hands trembled. I couldn’t tell if he was about to explode, cry, or just scream in confusion. I wouldn’t have blamed him for any of the reactions, frankly.
“How did this happen?” he finally said, still refusing to look up.
“I don’t know,” I said. “No, that’s not a good answer. I know. I was at a coffee shop recently and we just bumped into each other serendipitously. Coincidence, nothing more than that. Your brother…when we were in school, he got picked on a lot. Bullied. Said…I don’t know that I believe this anymore, but at the time, he said you and your other brother picked on him at home a lot. I didn’t like him romantically, but I felt sorry for him. So I protected him.”
“That’s…”
Jack didn’t finish speaking. He was connecting the dots from previous conversations that we had had. I didn’t think that this was going to get any better; in fact, it was probably going to get a lot worse.
“Anyway, I didn’t think much of the encounter. You know, you run into an old classmate, you make small talk, you say you’ll catch up, and then you never do. That’s exactly what I imagined would happen. Except, a few days later, right after I met you, actually, I saw Kyle across the street. At first, I just assumed it was coincidence. After all, I knew we both lived in Brooklyn, so it wasn’t so far out there for me to see him twice in a few days.”
But then…it all went to shit.
“However, shortly after, he came and saw me. He asked me to go out. I didn’t know you two were brothers at the time, but I sure didn’t want to have to deal with the sight of you seeing me talking to another man. So I just said yes to get him to go away. I regretted it, but it got him away, and I figured I’d just be polite, have one drink, and then let him down.”
“That never happens with Kyle,” Jack said.
At least he had some morbid, tiny sense of humor. I didn’t think Jack was going to explode and take out his rage on me.
“Yeah, I found that out Saturday,” I said. “When I encountered him, it was the worst date ever. You know, the whole ‘nice guy who thinks he deserves things because he’s nice?’ That was Kyle. He basically said I owed him a date. I told him to fuck off when that happened. I thought that was the end of it.”
“It never is with Kyle.”
By now, he was looking at me, although the perturbed expression on his face was certainly not something I wished to see in the slightest.
“He emailed me late Sunday night, asking me to see him. I was…I’m sorry, but I was just frazzled by your sudden leaving last night. I said he could meet me before I started work.”
“Let me guess. It was fucking terrible.”
“He followed me out of the shop. I had to get a taxi cab to get away from him. And now, I haven’t left my apartment since.”
Laid out like that, it was some wonder that I was even here with Jack right now. Then again, it wasn’t like Kyle didn’t know.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you two now, but Kyle knows that I’m going out with you, Jack.”
“Shit,” he muttered, although he didn’t seem surprised by it.
“Was he the one that killed your uncle last night?”
The look on Jack’s face said it all.
“I’m not a cop or the state. I don’t have concrete evidence to say anything for absolute certain. But as his brother? As someone who interacted with both him and my uncle? Oh, he absolutely fucking did it. One hundred percent he did it.”
“Jesus…”
Now I wasn’t just scared about being stalked. Suddenly, that objective fear that had pegged his potential for violence at under ten percent sure seemed a lot higher.
“If you’re asking me if he pulled the trigger, I don’t think so. I think it’s much more likely he got one of his fucking goons from the Bloodhounds to do it—”
“The Bloodhounds?”
“A rival MC,” he said. “Founded and given support by Kyle.”
Jack just laughed at that point. It was a sarcastic, dry laugh.
“Fucking figures,” he said. “This isn’t your fault at all, Lilly, but you’re in serious danger.”
“I’m well aware,” I said. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that to be so harsh. I’m just beating myself up for letting Kyle so close to me.”
I shook my head, unable to forgive myself or to let go of how stupidly I had acted.
“You know, he said that you two were such assholes to him. Knowing you now—”
“It’s true.”
That was incredibly unexpected. I staggered back at that and waited for Jack to smile, as if revealing a morbid joke in the middle of it all. He gave no such indication. He sighed before elaborating.
“We were assholes to Kyle when we were kids,” he said. “The uncle that he killed, Reggie…Reggie could be a real knucklehead at times. Reggie sucked at kindness and understanding. Reggie was like that football coach that would yell at you until your face turned red. Reggie was a good man at heart, but he was the kind of guy that could become a lifelong enemy if you didn’t handle him carefully. Kyle couldn’t handle him. And Marcel, my brother, and I modeled ourselves after Reggie.”
Shit…but you were just kids. How could you have known any better?
“It wasn’t until we left our home that we both realized that we’d been too harsh on Kyle, but by that point, there was no turning back. He had already become the guy that you know. I’ve tried to reach out to apologize, and I think sometimes, it works, but…”
“He just murdered your uncle.”
Jack solemnly nodded.
Now I had to figure out just what to do with all of this information, and I didn’t have the foggiest idea of where to start. Staying with Jack could both be the safest and the most dangerous thing I could do, depending on how well he could protect me. If he could provide a watchful eye, then I suspected there was no one I’d feel safer with.
But if he couldn’t? If Kyle knew that the two of us were still seeing each other?
That objective likelihood was soaring into all but a guarantee.
“What are you going to do to him?” I asked.
I all but felt the wall getting thrown up by Jack, who retreated on the couch as he folded his legs under him. He crouched over, as if withdrawing into a turtle shell, and did not look me in the eye. He bit his lip, preventing himself from saying anything further. When I asked him to repeat himself, he only shook his head, still refusing to look at me.
“Jack,” I said with a hint of pleading. “Can you please tell me what you’re going to do to Kyle?”
“Club business is club business.”
I waited for him to say something else. But he had no intention of elaborating. He had said his bit, and that was that.
It was so unlike him, and it left me absolutely terrified. I was completely convinced that the two brothers were going to kill each other, and it was just a question of who landed the killing blow first. And if I’m going to be caught in the middle somehow, and if my life is at risk.
You know the answer to that.
Yes. And yes.
“Jack, come on,” I said. “I’m a part of this too. Like it or not, and I can assure you I do not like it, I am involved and entangled. And if I’m going to be a part of this, I need to know what’s going to happen. At the very least, I need to know what to do.”
“Club business is club business.”
“Jack!”
I had never imagined I’d have to raise my voice at Jack. Unfortunately, I’d also never imagined that I’d be in the middle of a fraternal battle to the death, both of them loving me. If I had my choice, Kyle would get over himself, move somewhere else, and Jack and I could see where this would go.
Too bad that life just never seemed to work out so neatly for me.
“Stay low,” he said. “I don’t know what Kyle is going to do. But I can tell you this. Blood’s going to be shed. War has already started between the club and him, and it feels like our D-Day is approaching by the minute. If you put yourself in the middle…”
He couldn’t finish his thoughts.
And then a thought came to mind for me that left me feeling nervous as hell. How can I be outside of the middle and date you at the same time? You’re so good to me and so sweet, but if this is literally going to be a battle to the death…
“You’re scaring me, Jack.”
“I know,” he said. “And believe me, I wish I wasn’t. But right now, I don’t see any way diplomacy wins out.”
“Are you even going to try?”
He let out one of the heaviest sighs I had ever heard or seen him make.
“I’m the only one in the Stone family that seems to have tried,” he said. “But if I’ve done that and he’s still going to kill Uncle, then I’m not sure there’s any more point in trying.”
He put his head in his hands.
“I need to protect you, Lilly. I don’t want you going to any coffee shops or leaving your place.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.”
But what I was trying to muster the courage to say was that I was starting to accept I wouldn’t be safe here with him, either. So long as I was near Jack, Kyle would kill me to get to him. Or, perhaps, Kyle would kill Jack to get to me. Both options scared the hell out of me.
“What do you want me to do for now, then?” I said.
Jack just shook his head. He was projecting a degree of certainty, but it was a sort of false appearance. I knew he was as scared and confused as I was. I knew neither of us were going to feel any better until death or a miracle occurred.
“I’ll spend the night here,” he said. “I’ll have to go to the repair shop eventually. But I want you to stay here. If you need to get out, I’ll follow you. Can you work with that?”
I nodded that I would. The truth was, though, it was only a short-term reprieve.
And as we prepared for bed and as we crawled under the covers, there was absolutely zero passion and zero interest on either side for sex. I think he leaned over to kiss me, but the kiss was also devoid of anything meaningful. Frankly, the idea of intimacy or romance was just too far removed for it to be possible.
I wasn’t ready to say that this discussion and everything we had realized was going to spell the end of us. I still liked Jack, and I knew that he liked me. But we just couldn’t pretend that what had happened was something we could easily mentally move on from for the night.
The only question was if it would follow us long enough to split us apart.
The answer was less promising than I wanted to admit.
Chapter 15: Biggie
For the next three days, up until Friday morning, I followed the same routine every day.
I woke up at Lilly’s place. I ate breakfast, kissed her goodbye, left her with a gun, and headed to the repair shop. The instant that I got off, I headed straight for her place. We sat on the couch and watched TV, but that was more of a mind-numbing exercise than anything else. At some point in the evening, we’d go to bed. I’d kiss her goodnight, and then that would be it.
There were no erotic moments. There were no romantic moments. We felt like a married couple that had lost the zest for each other and only stuck together for the sake of appearances. That wasn’t true at the core, of course. I still cared a great deal for her, perhaps even to the extent that I could say that I loved her. But nothing other than absolute protection and rigidity felt like the appropriate response. Simply put, the timing wasn’t right.
The Thursday club meeting was the only thing that disrupted the schedule, but even that was barely a blip. We simply finalized funeral plans for the following morning with the understanding that an attack on Kyle and the Bloodhounds would occur sometime over the following days. It was also understood that this would be the final attack on Kyle; he would not live to see the following Monday sunrise.
But for at least a little over twelve hours, Kyle would have a reprieve.
As I went to bed Thursday night, kissing Lilly good night, her barely mumbling a response back, I wondered what was going through Kyle’s mind right now. Was he regretting what he had done? Did he realize the implication of his actions? Did he know that we were all gunning for him, or did he think what he’d done would scare us off from acting?
I wanted to believe, on some level, that he could be redeemed. I wanted there to be a chance that, e
ven with what Kyle had done, that he could be saved. But wanting to and actually believing were two very different things.
When I woke up Friday, I got dressed two hours before the funeral. It’s not like I had anything better to do with my time, and I knew I wasn’t going to get anything else done. Lilly came out and put a hand on my shoulder, but it didn’t have the same intensity that her touch had had before.
I almost wanted us to start over. I wanted me to take her out, to have a date without Kyle hanging over either our heads, and treat it like it was the first time either one of us had met the other. But I wasn’t getting a lot of what I wanted these days.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
I shrugged. I wasn’t really feeling anything.
“OK, I guess,” I said. “Not looking forward to this.”
“I know. Just think of it as a chance to celebrate his life, not mourn his death.”
I knew she was just trying to help, but I couldn’t help but think of how cliché and trite she sounded. It was hard to celebrate knowing my blood brother had been the one to kill him.
“Jack, before you go, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Well, this went over swimmingly last time. I’m sure it’ll be just as great this time.
“OK, what’s up?” I said, resigning myself to this being bad news of some kind.
“I…I’m tired of being cooped up in here. I’m going to go out and write somewhere. I know you said I need to be safe and be here, but Jack, this all happened Sunday night. I haven’t seen Kyle since Monday. If something were going to happen, it probably would have happened by now. So that it hasn’t…”
Only means that when you do put yourself out there, Kyle will lick his chops in delight. It’ll somehow be better for him, given how much he had to wait to see you.
“I don’t suppose there’s any changing your mind, is there?”
“Afraid not,” she said. “I’m not fifteen. I’m a grown woman who knows how to defend herself or ask for help. And besides, Kyle’s a politician. He’s not going to do anything in public to harm himself.”
“Like chase you awkwardly in front of everyone?”
