Amelia knew this was true. To hold on to Jimmy under these circumstances wasn’t only selfish, it was irresponsible. As she locked eyes with Mrs. Bradley, she wondered what James would tell her to do. “You really do love him?” she questioned. “Would you love him like your own son? Or like the poor orphan you—”
“I promise you that I will raise him as my own son. Because I do love him, Amelia. I can’t even explain it, and I suspect it has to do with losing my James and the emptiness I’d been feeling.” She sighed. “For whatever reason, I felt an instant connection to little Jimmy. I believe I already do love him like my own son.”
“And yet you refuse to believe he’s James’s son?”
Her expression cooled a bit. “As a child, I was taught to never speak ill of the dead, Amelia. I would ask you to do the same—at least where my James is concerned.”
Amelia considered this. Perhaps it made no difference whether or not Mrs. Bradley believed Jimmy was James’s son. The truth was the truth. And Mrs. Bradley was probably right—this might be the best way for Jimmy to grow up without the label of “illegitimate” always trailing him. That alone could ruin his life. Beyond all else, Amelia had to admit she had very little to offer her child. In fact, her poverty had nearly been the end of both of them. What right did she have to drag Jimmy back into deprivation? Especially when he could grow up like a prince with his paternal grandparents.
“I can see that you’re considering my offer.” Mrs. Bradley’s expression grew warm again. “And I realize you might need time to think about it. This is a big decision. Not to be made lightly. I don’t want to rush or push you. But my husband did mention that you are likely to be released from here by Friday.”
“So I’ve heard.” Part of Amelia wanted out of here, but another part was unsure . . . Where would she go? What would she do? What if she became sick again?
“So I will give you until Friday to make up your mind.” Mrs. Bradley pulled on a pale gray glove as if getting ready to leave.
“I don’t need that long.” Amelia took in a slow, deep breath. “I know that Jimmy will be better off with you, Mrs. Bradley. And I—I do believe that you love him.”
“I do! I really do.”
“So I will agree—” Her voice cracked with emotion. “You can—can have him.”
Mrs. Bradley reached for her hand, squeezing it. “I know this is hard on you, but I promise you, Amelia, you won’t be sorry. Not for Jimmy’s sake. I give you my word that your child will have a very fine life.”
Amelia barely nodded, swallowing hard against the rock-hard lump growing in her throat.
“I’ll have our attorney draw up legal papers and—”
“I—I have one request,” Amelia said meekly.
“Yes?”
“I just want to see him once more . . . before I let him go. I want to say goodbye.”
“Of course you do. As soon as you’re released from here, we’ll bring you to the house. You can see how well he’s doing, and you can tell him goodbye.” Mrs. Bradley had tears in her eyes too. Something Amelia found heartening. “I know this is painful, dear, but it really is for the best. You are giving your child a wonderful opportunity for an excellent life.”
A tear trickled down Amelia’s cheek. “I know,” she admitted in a raspy voice. “Thank you, Mrs. Bradley.”
She held up a finger. “I have one request too, Amelia. Please, call me Helene.”
Amelia dipped her chin in an uneasy nod. “Okay. Helene.”
“Naturally, we will cover all your travel expenses back to California, as well as something to tide you over for about six months. That should give you time to find good employment. So you needn’t worry about any of that.” Helene stood, tugging on her other glove. “Just keep getting well, dear. I promised my husband I wouldn’t stay too long . . . or upset you too much. Although he was well aware this would be an unsettling conversation for both of us.”
Amelia just nodded. She knew that she’d made the best choice for Jimmy. But her heart felt as if a steamroller had just flattened it. And suddenly her own recovery felt irrelevant. She vaguely wondered if it was too late to have a complete relapse into pneumonia and perish. Or if it would even matter.
“You keep resting up, dear. And we will bring you to see Jimmy as soon as my husband says that you’re well enough to be released.”
Amelia mumbled a halfhearted thank-you, and Helene, apparently oblivious to her intense pain, picked up her lovely fur coat and handbag, gave a little wave with a gloved hand, and departed. As soon as she was gone, Amelia crumbled into full-blown sobs, followed by a fit of coughing. Certainly, she knew she’d done the right thing just now. The truth was she’d really made this decision that night when she’d deposited her beloved bundle in the manger. But the reality of it sliced through her like a knife.
14
On Friday morning, Amelia felt stronger, both physically and emotionally. She was resolved to do what was best for Jimmy. And she felt certain that James would have approved of her decision. His son would have the chance to grow up in a small town with a loving family. What more could she give?
It was nearly two when she was released from the hospital. The head nurse insisted on transporting her to the lobby in a wheelchair. “Dr. Bradley is just bringing the car around,” she said as she parked Amelia in the vestibule by the front door. Dressed in her good blue suit, the same outfit she’d been wearing when Sally took her in . . . and later when she was transported to the hospital, she realized these garments had grown rather loose the past few weeks.
Amelia sighed as she gazed out the big picture window. The predicted snow had begun to fall the previous afternoon. Appreciative of the distraction, Amelia had watched in wonder as big white flakes had tumbled from the steely sky. It was the first time she’d ever seen real snow. And now the ground and trees and streetlamps were all blanketed in several inches of a fresh coat of clean white, sparkling so brightly against the clear blue sky that it made her eyes water.
To her relief, her misty eyes were not due to emotions . . . although the day was still young. Instead, the surprisingly pretty winter scene felt almost like medicine. Her spirits were elevated—if ever so slightly. The only problem was the cold vestibule. Every time someone went in or out, a swoosh of frosty air would chill her to the core. Even under the thick blanket that the nurse had insisted on wrapping around her, Amelia was shivering almost uncontrollably after a few minutes.
“There he is now.” Nurse Gordon pointed to the sleek green Buick just pulling up. “Dr. Bradley’s car is always so clean and pretty. Even after a blizzard.”
The doctor waved as he got out and, hurrying over to open the passenger door, he quickly removed something bulky from inside. As he got closer to Amelia, she realized he had the same gray fur coat his wife had worn a few days ago. “Here.” He slipped the heavy garment over her shoulders. “Helene was worried that you’d be cold.”
“Oh, this is too fine—I can’t possibly—”
“Helene insisted.” He helped her to her feet. “And after all these years, I know better than to argue with my wife.”
Soon she was loaded into the car, where the heater was running, and with the soft fur coat wrapped around her she soon began to feel warmer.
“I stopped by Sally’s apartment like you asked,” Dr. Bradley announced as he started to drive. “Your suitcase and things are in the trunk.”
“Thank you.”
“Sally sends you her best regards.” He turned onto a tree-lined road. “I’m going to take the long way home. That will give us a chance to talk.”
“Oh . . . okay.”
“So . . . Helene has the paperwork ready. She’s still over the moon that you’ve agreed to let us keep Jimmy.” His voice sounded slightly stiff, as if he wasn’t completely comfortable with their decision. “You’re still sure about that?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“I just need to know if she pressured you into this deci
sion. Are you absolutely certain? I told her you were vulnerable, that she shouldn’t push you. She didn’t, did she?”
Amelia considered this. “No, no . . . not really. The truth is I think I had already made up my mind. That night when I placed Jimmy in your manger . . . in my heart I knew I was giving him up—for good.”
“And is that because we are James’s parents?”
“Yes, of course, that’s a big part of it. He is, after all, James’s child. Whether Mrs. Bradley accepts it or not, Jimmy is your grandson.” She wanted to ask if Dr. Bradley believed her. She felt that he did, but they really hadn’t spoken of it much.
“Well, as you know, Helene refuses to believe that James could have fathered a child. At least that’s her claim. But I suspect that on some level she might be uncertain, and perhaps with time, as Jimmy grows up . . . well, I have a feeling she will eventually accept it. Especially if little Jimmy takes after James, like I’m guessing he will.”
“I’ve decided that it’s just as well if she doesn’t accept Jimmy’s true identity. It’s a relief that Jimmy will grow up free from any stigma. I don’t want his parents’ mistakes to brand him for life. I feel confident that you and Mrs. Bradley can maintain his secret.”
“Yes, we’ll do what we can to protect him. After all, I’ve seen what happens in a small town . . . when rumors and innuendo float about and ruin a life.” He glanced at her as he stopped for the traffic light on Main Street. “So how are you holding up, Amelia? I didn’t get much of a chance to speak with you these last couple of days, but I know this must be very hard on you.”
“Yes, but I realize it’s best for Jimmy. There’s no denying that.” She took in a steadying breath. “And I hope that . . . in time . . . I will be better.”
“Helene feels certain that you’ll return to San Diego, is that right?”
She simply nodded, but the truth was she didn’t have any real plans yet. Just say her goodbye to Jimmy . . . and make it through this day.
“I’m concerned about whether you’re strong enough to make that long trip just yet. As your physician, I must insist you give yourself a few days to rest before you leave. I suggested you might stay in our home, but Helene felt that was unwise. She’s worried that it might make it even harder for you to leave Jimmy.”
Amelia thought about this, then nodded again. “I think she’s right.”
“For that reason, I’ve booked you a room at the Jackson.”
“The Jackson?”
“That’s our best hotel. I’ve booked the room for five days, but you’re welcome to remain as long as you like. I really don’t want you traveling until you’re strong and fit.” He pointed to a stately stone building. “There—that’s the Jackson. And, believe me, it’s a sight better than Wallace’s.”
As she thanked him, she ran a hand down the surface of the luxurious coat. She’d never felt fur this soft. “Is this coat real mink?”
He chuckled. “It is. And for Helene to insist on you wearing it is no small matter.”
“It was very kind.”
“Although Helene grew up in a very wealthy family, she isn’t what I’d call a spendthrift. She is actually rather conservative about money. Her family, the Jacksons, founded this town—”
“Jackson? Same as the hotel?”
“Precisely. If you look around some, you’ll see the Jackson name on a lot of things. They made their money copper mining.”
“Oh.”
“The reason I’m telling you this, Amelia, is because Helene plans to give you a check. She can afford to be generous. I hope that won’t offend you.”
“She mentioned that. And as much as I appreciate her help, it does make me a little uncomfortable,” Amelia admitted.
“I wondered about that. But I hope you won’t let it trouble you.”
“I, uh, I don’t want to feel like I’m, uh, selling my child.”
“No one would ever believe that, Amelia. It’s simply my wife’s way of showing her appreciation.” He pointed to the mink coat. “And the fact that she made me bring this for you tells me that she actually likes you, Amelia. Despite the circumstances that, well, make her uneasy, she does approve of you on many levels. And take it from me, Helene is a very discriminating woman.”
“Really—she likes me?” Amelia felt a glimmer of hope. “That is encouraging.”
“I’m aware that Helene has a reputation for being hard-nosed,” he said. “But the truth is she has a very tender heart. She also has a very strong moral sense of right and wrong. Sometimes, at least in my opinion, it can be a bit too strong. But she is a good woman. Well respected in the community. And she’s always been a fine mother.”
“I believe that . . . just from knowing James.”
Neither spoke for a long moment. Amelia remained transfixed on the snow-covered countryside all around her. The snow combined with the timbered landscape was truly breathtakingly beautiful. Jimmy would be happy here.
“How long did you know James?” Dr. Bradley asked gently.
“Not long enough.” She sighed. “Oh, it felt longer at the time, but it really was a whirlwind romance. In just a few days, we both knew that we were in love. I was a bit surprised when James wanted to get married so quickly, but I gladly agreed. I knew he was the only one for me.”
“The only one? Meaning you’ll never marry again?”
She firmly shook her head no. “I can’t imagine ever loving anyone the way I loved your son.”
He made a sad smile. “This isn’t something I can ever admit to Helene, but I can’t help but derive some comfort knowing that you and James found each other . . . before . . . before he was taken from us. I’ve often said that God works in mysterious ways, Amelia, but I do believe this is one of those instances.”
“I hope so . . . I mean, for Jimmy’s sake.”
“I imagine that someday, I’ll better understand what God was up to down here. In the meantime, I just try to trust him.”
“Yes, so do I.” She knew they were close to the Bradleys’ house now and suddenly she felt nervous. “As badly as I want to see Jimmy, I’m a bit afraid,” she confessed as he turned down their street.
“Afraid? Of Helene?”
“No. Of myself. I don’t want to break down and cry . . . Or what if I change my mind, and make a mess of everything?”
“It’s your right to change your mind, Amelia. If you have any reservations about—”
“No,” she said firmly. “I know it’s for the best. I know it.”
He slowed down to turn into their driveway, pointing at the nativity scene which, now blanketed in snow, had an even more ethereal sort of look. “Did you know that James built that?” He stopped the car so she could look at it better.
“No, I had no idea. But the first time I saw it, I was very impressed. It’s beautiful. The faces look so lifelike. I assumed it was made by a professional.”
“From an early age, James was a talented artist. Helene encouraged him to study architecture in college. But he gave up higher education after three and a half years. He’d spent his summers flying—ever since he was about sixteen. Helene hated it, but James was hooked. So just short of his degree, he quit college to help his brother-in-law, Harry, start a smoke jumper business.”
“Yes, he told me about that. He flew the men in to jump into forest fires. It sounded very dangerous. But he just called it ‘exciting.’”
“Their business was barely up and running when the war started, and much to Helene’s chagrin, both James and Harry headed to San Diego to become Navy flyers.”
“I know how much he loved flying.” She stared in bittersweet wonder at the unique nativity scene. It was incredibly sad to think its creator was gone . . . but at least his son would be around to enjoy it. “I never realized James was such a gifted artist,” she said quietly.
“James had so much potential. So much life to live.” He sighed as he put the car back in gear. “Just one more reason we miss him so.” He parked in
front of the house. “Well, here we are. Home sweet home.”
“There’s something I’d like to get out of my suitcase, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” He helped her out of the car, going around to the back of the car.
As he opened the trunk, she explained about the marriage license James had filled out. “It’s not that I’m trying to convince Mrs. Bradley of anything, but I’d like to leave it in your care—more for Jimmy’s sake than anything. In case, well, in case anyone ever questions anything about his parentage.” She opened her suitcase, then fished through it until she found the big white envelope. “Here,” she told him. “Please, keep it in a safe place.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to hold onto it?”
She shook her head. “I want it available for Jimmy.”
“Hello there.” Helene waved from the front porch. “Come in out of the cold, you two.” A golden dog bounded toward them, playfully running around Dr. Bradley as if to welcome him home. It was sweet to think of Jimmy growing up in a home with a big dog like this. She could imagine the little boy tussling on the floor with the good-natured dog.
Amelia hurried up to greet Helene, thanking her for the use of her wonderful coat. “It kept me warm as toast all the way here.” She carefully removed the garment as they came into the foyer, handing it over to a housekeeper who was standing by.
“Jimmy should be waking from his afternoon nap before long, but you can go ahead and peek in on him in the nursery if you like.”
Amelia glanced around the elegant home. It was even nicer on the inside than on the outside. Yet it wasn’t opulent or showy or overdone. In fact, despite its size, it had a nice, homey feeling. With a fire crackling in the fireplace and comfortable furnishings and a rich-looking carpet, it was very inviting. A wonderful place for a young child to grow up. And the grounds outside were spacious and beautiful. She looked out over the snow-covered side yard, trying to imagine a preschool-aged Jimmy out there making a snowman with Dr. Bradley. It was a touching picture.
The Christmas Blessing Page 10
