by Anna Antonia
“Thank you. Gavin?”
“Yes, sweet love?”
“I’m not one of them either. I’m not one of anybody.”
“Wrong. You’re my somebody. My only somebody. Now let’s set a date.”
Hearing his steady heartbeat beneath my ear, I stared dully at the beautiful ring gracing my finger. I wanted this so badly and yet…
“How about this weekend, Gavin?”
“That’s only two days from now.”
“You know if it’s too early or you want more time to think about it—”
Gavin squeezed me and laughed. “Hell, what’s there to think about? That sounds perfect! Costa Rica has now turned into a honeymoon!”
I expected us to go to his lawyer’s office the next day. Numb and accepting that my true identity would finally be discovered, I vowed I’d take whatever hell Gavin unleashed on me.
I wouldn’t beg him to understand.
I wouldn’t justify my actions.
I wouldn’t defend myself.
All I would tell him was the following: “I love you, Gavin. If you can’t believe anything else I ever said or ever will say, know this much. I love you more than I love myself and I always will.”
I practiced it alone in the shower. After Gavin kissed me and left for work. While I shopped for my wedding dress.
So imagine my surprise when Gavin told me there’d be no prenup.
I loved him madly, but this amount of faith he put in me was too much. Dangerous even. There’d be so much damage from the fallout of my secret once it eventually came out. I didn’t want Gavin to think for one minute I was after him for his money.
“Gavin, this isn’t the wisest financial decision. You know that.”
He was implacable. “I’m not marrying you only to divorce you later.”
“I appreciate that, Gavin. I do. Let’s just go to the lawyers, talk it over with them, and go from there.”
“No. My mind is made up.”
“But—”
“No, Paige. There will be no divorce. It’s for better or worse or not at all.” Mistaking the expression on my face, Gavin took the sting out of his words by lifting my hand to his mouth. “Paige, my love for you is unshakable. Nothing has ever felt so right in my life. Understand?”
The intoxicating pressure of his lips on my ring finger quieted my protests but did very little for my fears.
Those goddamned constant, toxic, fucking fears.
The kind that broke me down and shouted at me I didn’t have a right to this happiness, to this man.
It branded me a piece of shit in all ways possible. It seeped away my nuptial excitement like a slowly bleeding vein.
Every bride should view her wedding day with joy, concerned only with the minor details that in her innocence seemed like a big deal.
The wrong shade of pink on a ribbon. A snag in her bridal veil. Trouble finding—I didn’t know—whatever it was that went wrong during weddings. Something important surely but not enough to ruin the rest of her life.
But I wasn’t an innocent bride and the tragedy hanging in the wings would ruin me fatally.
I lost myself in Gavin’s arms every night only to lie awake by his side long after he fell asleep, tormented by the ruin I courted.
This wasn’t going to end well.
I knew it.
I knew it when I was on my knees in the bathroom, puking my guts out because I was so stressed.
I knew it when the suspicion tickled my fevered brain and caused me to check my calendar.
I knew it when I walked down to the drugstore.
I knew it when there was yet another secret to hold to my heart. Except this time I wasn’t ashamed of it at all.
I’ll tell him after we’re married. On our honeymoon. It’ll be the best present I could get my sweet Gavin.
My sense of self-preservation expanded. Now there was no other acceptable outcome except to succeed.
Gavin and I had to get married. No one could stop our wedding.
My communication with Melissa had to be perfect. Considering she’d yet to confront me about living with her son, I had to assume she was still in the dark. I couldn’t count on that lasting much longer.
Containment.
That was my goal from this point on. Once Patrick and Melissa found out about my marriage, my father would go ballistic. He’d cut me off. That was more than fine. Preferable even. I didn’t care anymore about losing him. Or even Melissa.
Besides, everything I knew about how to handle relationships I learned at their knee. I wasn’t important to either of them. Why should they be more important than my relationship?
Gavin was my family now and he indeed was my everything.
Besides, knowing what I knew about Patrick and his need for control, he wouldn’t want anyone to know. He’d bury it, pretend I never existed.
No one would ever know.
“It’s our last dinner together as a dating couple. Tomorrow night we’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Gavin Hawthorne.” My perfect fiancé clinked his wine glass against mine. “Happy?”
I took the barest of sips. Tonight more than ever, the wine tasted sour. I barely suppressed a shudder as it slid down my throat. Nausea rose up but I managed to beat it back.
So far, so good.
“More than you know. I love you so much, Gavin. I can’t wait to be yours.”
“You’re already mine, love.” He kissed my ring finger once more. Pleasure danced in his bright gaze. “Our marriage will only legalize what our hearts already know.”
Fuck me but I was completely, utterly, insanely in love with this man.
Our bags were packed. Reservations were made and confirmed for the honeymoon suite in a luxurious hotel. The quaint chapel in Vegas had us marked down for a late afternoon wedding. The private jet, the one I wished I could’ve taken on my deceitful flight to Hawaii, was fueled and ready.
Gavin had to put in a half-day since he’d be out Monday and Tuesday. We’d be wheels up by early afternoon the next day.
And my new life would start.
Gavin leaned in for a kiss at my door. “Are you completely sure you want to spend this last night apart?”
“It’s tradition,” I said lightly against his lips.
“I say hang the tradition. I won’t be able to sleep without you next to me.”
Temptation tugged at me, but our future happiness counted on my ability to complete the extraction from my old life.
I needed to get all of my important things out of the apartment tomorrow morning which meant I needed to pack tonight. The movers were on schedule to be at my door eight am sharp.
If everything went smoothly, all my precious books, dolls, and assorted collectibles would be in their new home by the time Gavin left the office. Boxed up but safe.
Wrapped up in each other’s arms as we said our goodbyes, I let myself have the wish for something different.
I wished I wasn’t entering our marriage this way.
I wished I had a loving relationship with my father.
I wished Melissa could just be my mother-in-law.
I wished I could be the person Gavin thought I was.
The wishes flamed out.
I may have started my relationship with Gavin in lies but something beautiful came out of it. Just for that I couldn’t regret the path I’d taken to get here.
“I’m going to miss you, love. This night will be the last one we’re apart. Understand?”
“Yes, Gavin.”
If I was fighting my nature before, now I was completely ruthless to the lengths I’d take to make my life permanent with Gavin Hawthorne. It wasn’t just for me anymore. It was for someone far more important than my brokenness, my father’s cruelty, and Melissa’s weakness.
And there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make the future better than the past I left behind.
FORTY-THREE
A knock on the door ended everything.
Gavin, handsome as sin in his tuxed
o, and me looking like a perfect bride, couldn’t imagine the horror waiting behind the innocuous door.
We were young, in love, and innocent to the malignance coiled in living flesh going by the name of Patrick Brookstone.
Even now I didn’t know how they found out. What was the fatal mistake?
Was it the last phone call I made yesterday? Did the cleaning woman come a day early and see the movers leaving? Was it Melissa all along?
“Love, can you get the door?”
My instincts, forever on guard until the final “I do”, prompted me to ask, “Are you expecting somebody?”
“Maybe.” His impish grin promised a surprise. “Go check.” Gavin sauntered into the bedroom, whistling as he left.
I shouldn’t have let curiosity and pleasure get the best of me. I should’ve ignored the knock. Or called security. Something.
Instead, I opened the door.
“You!”
Patrick Brookstone shoved his way inside, Melissa trailing behind him like a wan ghost.
“Paige, you’ve gone too goddamned far! Have you lost your mind? What the fuck were you thinking to do this?”
I couldn’t feel my legs.
No! This can’t be happening!
“You really are ten kinds of stupid, you know that? Did you think you could marry your little boyfriend and live the rest of your life without me knowing? Did you think for one minute I don’t know what you get up to in New York? Did you really think I’d let this happen? Get your shit and we’re leaving. Now!”
I wouldn’t move. Even when I saw his hand lift. Patrick could beat me. It didn’t matter anymore.
Gavin ran into the room, handsome face arranged in lines of fury and worry.
My fiancé strode over to my side, ready to fight for me.
“What the hell are you doing here, Brookstone? You have no reason to be here. Get the hell out of my room and take her with you before I put you out myself.”
I was sure he meant me. I took a step away but Gavin’s hand whipped out and locked onto my wrist.
Poor man. He still didn’t understand the viper he’d fallen in love with.
But he would and nothing would ever be the same.
Melissa’s low cry sounded raw. Patrick didn’t break eye contact with Gavin, but his eyes narrowed. Familiar as I was with his moods, I could tell he was furious at Melissa’s reaction even while he was more furious at Gavin for causing her pain.
The two opposing emotions pulled at him. Patrick needed a focus to direct that intolerable fury and I made a perfect target.
“Paige, get over here. Right now.”
“Paige, stay where you are.”
“Then you have a problem, you little shit, because I’m not leaving without her.”
Patrick reached out for me but Gavin stepped between us.
“What do you want with my fiancé? Isn’t it enough you took one woman from me? You don’t have any reason to be here.”
“The hell I don’t! Not when you’re marrying my damned daughter!”
Gavin’s head rocked back. His wild gaze crashed into mine. He didn’t have to ask the question because the ugly truth was right there in my eyes.
“Don’t fucking think I don’t know you’ve done this on purpose, Gavin! You went after my daughter to get at me!”
I should’ve defended my fiancé. Instead, I was powerless to look away from Gavin, to see the purity of his love for me tarnish. I created all of it. The least I could do was bear the final witness to my reckless destruction.
“I told you to stay away from anything about Gavin! Didn’t I? Didn’t I tell you that you had no right to him? Didn’t I tell you? Didn’t I?” Then to him, “Gavin, why? Why her?”
Melissa’s pleas underscored my father’s booms. Gavin betrayed no sign he even heard his mother. But I knew because I’d instantly become an expert in his pain.
He could see the truth in my eyes that I knew who he was to Melissa all along.
“We’re not hillbilly trash! How dare you try to do this to us? No daughter of mine is going to make me look like a fool!”
Gavin let go of my arm. His touch slowly fell away and I’d lost him. One moment I was his entire world and the next I was nothing.
As my life disintegrated into ash I felt a twisted and sick sense of relief. My lies had caught up to me and now I could finally rest.
And that’s when he said my name, setting something dark and twisted in motion.
“Paige.”
Gavin’s low voice held the power of a single shot. Patrick abruptly fell silent. Melissa let out one muffled cry.
I licked my lips. The waxen lipstick lay heavy on my tongue. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. But I waited. I waited and hoped that he’d walk away before I lost all control and revealed the timid, broken girl I’d never truly stopped being.
Please leave before I lose it. I don’t want to do that in front of you.
Gavin stalked forward as if Patrick and Melissa didn’t exist. He looked behind and saw me standing in place. He grabbed my hand and pulled me after him.
My feet knew what to do before my brain did. I didn’t even think to pull away. If this was going to be the last time I touched Gavin, then I wasn’t going to waste one millisecond in pretending I wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be.
“Where do you think you’re going?” My red-faced father boomed just as we reached the door. “Let go of my daughter!”
Only I could see the murderous fury flash across Gavin’s face. Watching with bated breath, I wondered what he would do. Would Gavin give into the violence I knew rumbled beneath the outer surface of his calm?
Would I try to stop him?
No. I wouldn’t.
I understood why he was so blisteringly furious with the Brookstones. The injustice that had been done against Gavin could never be forgiven.
Only now I was a part of it too.
My sin against him was a million times worse because I knew how it felt to hurt as he did. But I did it anyways.
My god, what have I done?
Gavin’s expression settled into indifference. He turned around, making sure to keep me tightly against his side.
“No.”
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
“Are you hard of hearing, old man? We’re getting married. Our plans aren’t changing. Naturally, neither of you are invited.”
Gavin took my arm again, neatly turning us both towards the door and away from the tainted tragedy of our combined pasts.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Patrick demanded in a venomous hiss. “Let go of my daughter!”
Gavin kept us moving. I allowed myself to feel happy, hopeful even. Perhaps this meant Gavin loved me more than my lies and more than my diseased bloodline.
“Stop, Gavin!” Melissa’s forceful tone broke on his name.
He jerked to a halt, solid as the hate I felt pouring from Patrick towards us. Gavin popped his jaw and then pivoted. “What is it you have to say?”
She looked down and then lifted her chin. Although her eyes watered, she kept her words soft. “Don’t do this. You won’t just be hurting me or my husband. Or even Paige. You’ll be hurting yourself. It’s not worth it. Trust me.”
“Trust you? There’s not one drop of trust in me for you. I am not your son and you are not my mother.”
There was nothing in his voice to indicate Melissa meant anything to him. As a weapon, it was perfect.
“And let me make one thing clear—Paige is mine. I’m not giving her up. Ever. Not for you and especially not to you, Brookstone. See yourself out or I’ll have you both removed”
My heart would’ve leapt for joy if it wasn’t for the brief look Gavin had given me.
It was a bone-chilling, life-long, vendetta kind of rage.
Not another day would go by before I learned I’d severely underestimated Gavin’s capacity to love and hate.
Continue Gavin and Paige’s story in the upcoming no
vel “Gavin: Lust”
Keep reading for a sneak peek at “Gavin: Lust”
ONE
Gavin
I didn’t allow myself to want many things.
I’d learned very early on to keep my needs simple and my wants Spartan.
However, every now and then something would come over me and I’d want.
Then I’d take.
This was what happened the first time I saw Paige waiting for me in my lobby.
I knew as soon as I saw her, felt her hand in mine, heard her sweet voice, that I wanted her more than anything else in the world. I subverted myself into a being with iron-clad control. I wanted to be a man she could really see herself being with.
It was difficult, challenging even, but in the end I got the girl.
She was mine. Completely.
Better yet, I felt like Paige really got me. She didn’t judge me for my quirks or demand more than I was able to give.
And that, of course, made me want to give her everything.
So did I get what I deserved for trying to be a good guy?
Maybe.
But if I was getting what I deserved than I sure as fuck was going to make sure Paige got every little bit of what she had coming.
Which meant there was only one thing to say as my world imploded.
“Are you hard of hearing, old man? We’re getting married. Our plans aren’t changing. Naturally, neither of you are invited.”
I relished the shock on my sweet viperous bride-to-be’s face.
I was prepared to give Paige all of me that I could, something I’d never risked giving another woman since Melissa Rice dumped me in the exclusive lobby of my father’s building.
I should’ve known better to trust anyone, much less a woman who claimed to love me. There was a reason I ended relationships as soon as love got involved.
But I risked it all for Paige Winters.
Paige Winters who was actually Paige Brookstone. Not only that, but she was my birth mother’s fucking stepdaughter.
When her asshole of a father pushed his way past the door, I’d had the insane thought that Melissa was there to congratulate me on my nuptials.
